Cal nodded. He had taught Nick the technique. The right amount of pressure would crush Cal's windpipe, leaving Neiszhe no time to save him.
“You're a traitor,” Nick continued, keeping his voice low so it would not carry into the cabin. “You deserve death, but out of respect for Neiszhe, I'll spare you. If you answer my questions. Who are you aligned with? Garon or Angus?”
“No one,” Cal wheezed. “Please.”
“I don't believe you. You lied to me about your Elder position. You spied on me for them, and now this.” Nick tightened his arm against Cal's throat. “Are you also spying on the Elders for the other side? Was this battle your doing?”
“No,” Cal managed, and shook his head, the movement slight. “I'd never—”
“Tell me! Who's your contact?”
“Vivian,” Cal whispered.
“You're a liar. She'd never do that. She wouldn't sacrifice Meaghan.”
“She did,” Cal whispered, and the agony in his voice surprised Nick into loosening his grip. “I hate her for this. I'd never have done it if I'd known.”
Nick dropped his arm and backed away from Cal. The truth lay bare in front of him—in the tears in Cal's eyes, in the sorrow on his face, and in the guilt dragging down his shoulders. Nothing remained of his usually tall and proud posture. He looked like an old man, confused by a world he no longer recognized.
“Why?” Nick asked, feeling equally as lost. “When?”
“I don't know why,” Cal responded. His voice croaked and he drew a hand to his throat. “As far as when, she gave me her instructions the last time I saw her. It's how I knew you'd come to the cabin and—”
“How many of them are left?” Nick asked. “How many of the things she told you to do?”
“None.”
“Don't lie to me.” Nick stepped forward again to challenge Cal. “Not this time. I don't want any more surprises. If you lie to me about this, I won't forgive you.”
“I'm not lying,” Cal said, and sighed, dropping his hand. He walked to the steps and sat down.
Nick joined him, though he left distance between them. It may as well have been a canyon by the injured look painted over Cal's face.
“Nick, I swear to you. I never would've followed her instructions if I'd had any idea this would happen. I wouldn't even have known about the battle if it wasn't for her. The Elders hadn't reached me yet and there was no wind on the battlefield. I couldn't see how bad it was.”
“She wasn't injured in battle,” Nick said. “The traitor's son followed us back here.”
Cal nodded and rested his elbows on his knees. He folded his hands between them. “Why would Viv do this? She'd never guided me wrong before.”
“What exactly did she say to you?”
“She told me Meaghan needed to be there, that she would be injured, but the injury would be minor, and I'd know how to help her when the time came. I hadn't met Neiszhe yet, but once I did, I realized what Viv meant. If I'd known the extent of Meaghan's injuries, I wouldn't have brought Neiszhe. I would've asked May to come.” Cal closed his eyes. His voice shook. “I just found out I'm having a son yesterday, Nick, and now I'm going to lose him. How could Viv not have known about the pregnancy?”
“She couldn't see everything,” Nick said, but he had his doubts. Vivian should have known. Not just about the pregnancy, but about everything that had happened during the battle and after. Her visions did not always show her every event, but when they did show her one, they left out no details. He did not want to believe it, but it seemed Vivian had chosen to put everyone in danger.
“Maybe,” Cal echoed, though his words also sounded devoid of conviction. “I'm sorry, Nick. I truly am, and not just for this, for everything. But please know I've never lied to you and I've never intentionally betrayed you. I couldn't do that.”
Nick's anger, which had started to soften with empathy for Cal's potential loss, blossomed again. “You asked me to consider you for my advisor,” he pointed out. “You never meant that, not if you'd already accepted the Elder role. I consider that a lie.”
“I omitted things,” Cal said. “Things I should have told you. But I didn't lie about wanting to be your advisor. I intended to resign as an Elder if you decided to appoint me.”
That had not occurred to Nick. He pressed his lips together in thought. “Why did you become an Elder if you meant to step down eventually? And why wouldn't you tell me about it?”
“I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think I was spying on you. Being out in the wilderness can play with your mind. It can be lonely, and it's hard to tell who you can trust. I wanted you to feel like you had someone you could always turn to.” He brought his knotted hands up to his chin and chuckled. The sound held no hint of humor. “That didn't work the way I intended.”
Nick raised an eyebrow in doubt. “So you weren't spying on us? Why else would the Elders promote you?”
“Before I answer that,” Cal said, “let me clarify one thing. I know the Elders started out on the wrong foot with you. They shouldn't have tried to replace you as Meaghan's Guardian, and you have reason to distrust them for that, but they aren't second guessing you now. They don't feel the need to spy on you. They do ask me about your progress. I keep them informed, but I haven't told them anything you wouldn't want them to know.”
He paused and Nick turned his attention to the horizon again. Daylight had swept the red from the sky, replacing it with pale blue. Nick found no comfort in its beauty.
“But you're right in a way,” Cal continued. “They did ask me to become an Elder because of you.”
Nick brought his gaze back to Cal. “What do you mean?”
“We've never talked about what happened after your father's murder. Those first few years, you were an angry child, hurting and scared, and your mother didn't know what to do with you. She did her best to help you cope, but she had trouble finding her own way through her grief.”
“I remember,” Nick said and mimicked Cal's posture, using the steadiness of his fists to brace for the conversation. Facing his grief from losing his father was difficult on most days. Today, on top of his fear for Meaghan, it seemed almost impossible. But he needed the truth from Cal, even if it hurt to hear it, so he pushed the conversation forward. “That's when you started showing up.”
“It is,” Cal confirmed. “Traditionally, my brother should have filled the role after your father died, but he was on Earth. He made me promise I'd stand in his stead. Because of that promise, I'm still alive today. You saved my life.”
“I was eight.”
“You were.” Cal smiled. “You were also a precocious child, curious, and affectionate. And even though you lost much of the trust you used to give freely, you trusted me. It wasn't long before I fell in love with you.” He drew his hands back down. “Did your mother ever tell you why I wound up in the wilderness?”
“I always assumed it was because of the Mardróch.”
“It is now. My time in the wilderness taught me how to hide in a way I can't do in the villages, so I've stuck with it. But initially, I sought out the wilderness for escape. I didn't just promise my brother I'd help you. I promised to help May, as well. I didn't see how I could be much use to her, but my brother understood how well I understood her grief.”
Cal rubbed his hands together and looked down at them. His voice grew soft. “I coped with Alisen's death poorly. I ran away. I'm not proud of it, but I lost the three people I cared about most, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Ed was like a brother to me. My own brother disappeared to a world where I couldn't reach him, except through the occasional visit from his wife. And my wife,” he shrugged. “I chose to escape rather than face my grief. I chose the wilderness, and when the Mardróch started hunting me, I didn't see much point in living anymore. I grew reckless. I taunted them. I wanted them to get the best of me. Then when I promised to take care of you, I realized I couldn't do that anymore. You needed a father figure. You needed me, an
d I couldn't let you down.”
“I didn't know.”
“You were young,” Cal told him. “But you didn't have to know to help me. I didn't realize it at the time, but I needed you as much as you needed me. You gave me something to live for again.”
Cal placed a hand on Nick's shoulder and squeezed it. “I never told you any of this before, but I should have. And maybe I should've told you the truth about how I feel about you, but I didn't want you to think I was trying to replace your father. I can't do that, but that's never stopped me from thinking of you as a son. I always will.” He lowered his hand. “May knows how I feel and because of that, so do the other Elders.”
“They chose you because they knew you could never betray me,” Nick said and felt miserable for the realization. Meaghan had been right. Deep down, he had known the truth all along.
“The Elders are doing everything they can to make sure you stay alive. No matter what they think of me, they know I will, too.” Cal paused and then swore. “I thought I was,” he corrected and whatever small amount of joy the conversation had brought him dissolved from his face. “I'm sorry, Nick. I never wanted you to go through the sorrow I experienced when Alisen died, but it seems I may have caused it. I don't expect you to forgive me. And frankly, I doubt I'll ever forgive myself.”
“Neither will I,” Nick said and closed his eyes. He had shut off his sensing power when Cal exited the cabin, but now he turned it back on and reached for Meaghan's pain. He found nothing. Panicked, he jumped up, and then realized he had sensed something else from Meaghan, something he dared not believe.
“She's healed,” he said and stared at Cal. “Her presence is strong again. I can feel it, but...”
He did not have to finish his thought for Cal to know. Even using an accelerated power, the healing had gone too fast. Meaghan's injury must have been worse than they realized, forcing Neiszhe to push her power beyond healthy limits.
Cal vaulted across the porch and into the cabin in two large steps. Nick followed close behind. As he had sensed, Meaghan slept on the cot, her face a blanket of peace. Neiszhe sat on the floor at her side, hunched over and drenched in sweat. Despite the warmth cast by the fire, she shivered.
Cal rushed to her, taking her in his arms as he dropped to the floor beside her. “Tea,” he commanded, and Nick moved to the fire to put on the kettle. He hoped it would be enough.
“Neiszhe,” Cal whispered to his wife. “What have you done, love?”
She buried her head in his neck. “There was too much blood,” she said. “It came so fast. I had no choice.”
Nick turned and spotted the red staining the white sheets and wool blanket underneath Meaghan's body. The amount of it scared him, but he locked away the emotion. She lived. And Meaghan's life may have cost Cal and Neiszhe the life they had created together. He wished the kettle would boil faster.
“You did a wonderful thing,” Cal responded. His voice trembled as his arms tightened around her body. “How do you feel?”
“Weak,” she answered, and though Cal did not ask the question, his hand slipped down her side, seeking her belly. “He's faint,” she whispered. “He's holding on, but he's weak, too.”
“You need to rest,” Cal told her. He stood, supporting her against his side. Halfway across the room to the other cot, they froze when a panicked voice broadcast through the room.
“Nick, please tell me you're there,” May begged.
Nick picked up the commcrystal from the table where he had left it. It emanated blue within his hands.
“I'm here,” he responded. “What's wrong?”
“The battle. I know you and Meaghan fought.”
“We did,” he confirmed. “If you're calling to lecture me, it's not a good time.”
“I'm not. I'm,” her voice broke. “The battle was a ruse. Garon's army spread the rumor you were living there so we'd send our closest Guardians. They did it so we wouldn't be able to respond in time when they reached their true target.”
Nick's eyes locked on Cal's. He saw the horror in them and realized they had both reached the same conclusion.
“Nick, it's gone,” May continued. “Neiszhe's village has been destroyed. There are no survivors.”
Cal caught Neiszhe as she crumbled to the floor. He carried her the rest of the way to the empty cot.
“No, Mom,” Nick corrected. “There's one.”
Now they knew why Vivian had lied to Cal. If she had not, he would have left Neiszhe in the village. Vivian had saved Neiszhe's life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“MYCALE?”
Meaghan watched Nick's face for any sign of hope, any sign that what she had heard could not be true. She had awoken to overwhelming grief and worry. The emotions battered her power and filled the cabin, turning the air stale and thick. Despite her pleas, Nick had refused to answer any of her questions until she had eaten and allowed him to change the bedclothes. Then he had told her about the village.
“Did he make it?” she prompted.
Nick shook his head. “No one made it.”
Her throat felt raw. Her eyes burned from unshed tears, but she tried to be strong for Neiszhe. It had been her village, her friends who had been lost. Yet Meaghan could not keep their faces from running through her mind—the baker at the festival with his spiky brown hair and red-apple cheeks, the gray-haired man with equally gray eyes who had handed Nick a goblet of founder's juice, the people who had greeted Cal while he escorted Nick and Meaghan through town, their friendly waves and smiles showing their love for the husband of their Healer. Tall and short, plump and skinny, old and young, there were too many ghosts vying for Meaghan's attention, too many faces wanting her to know their stories. She swam through them, soaking in the memories until she thought she might drown. And in the center of them all, the face of a young man with eager green eyes and curly red hair haunted her most. Mycale had traveled a great distance looking for answers, but he only found death.
“No one,” she echoed, forcing her voice to work. “The children, too? It wasn't that long ago we saw them playing at the festival. Garon couldn't possibly—”
Nick silenced her by bringing a palm to her cheek. “He did,” he whispered, and the pain in his eyes begged her to stop asking.
She turned her head to look at the other cot. Cal stroked Neiszhe's hair as he stared at the wall, shock turning his face to stone. Neiszhe's emotions had been muted in sleep, but within her a stronger sensation came through. Despite the horrors of the past two days, it brought a smile to Meaghan's face.
“He's trying to make her feel better,” she said.
Cal's eyes drew to hers. His brows knit in confusion. “Who? What are you talking about?”
“The baby,” Meaghan answered. “He's trying to make Neiszhe feel better.”
Cal's free hand sought his wife's stomach. He laid it flat over their unborn child. “You can sense him?”
“His emotions,” Meaghan said. “He's tired, but he's also feeling determined and playful. Since the emotions are moving around, I can only assume he is too.”
“He's moving?” Cal asked. “Are you sure?”
“Fairly certain,” Meaghan answered. “Neiszhe can confirm, but he seems energetic right now.”
“Amazing,” Cal muttered. He drew his hand across Neiszhe's stomach, caressing, and then leaned down to speak where his hand had been. “That's it, son,” he said. “That's a good lad. Keep playing with your mom.”
Neiszhe stirred. “Don't encourage him,” she said, and though her voice sounded groggy, her eyes appeared clear when she opened them. “It feels like he's doing back flips in there.”
“It worked,” Cal responded. A broad smile spread over his face. “The potion May and Nick came up with worked. Meaghan said he's playing to make you feel better.”
“He is?” Neiszhe lifted a hand to cover Cal's. “He seems stronger.”
“He's a fighter,” Cal said. “He's going to make it.”
Neiszhe laughed. “Did you ever have any doubt? He's your son after all.”
Cal planted a kiss on her lips before leaning down to do the same to her belly. “Hang in there, son. I promise we'll make it worth the effort.”
“He's moving again,” Neiszhe said and linked her fingers with Cal's. “Can you feel it?”
Cal shook his head. “I can barely feel the bump in your stomach. He has to be a tiny thing. I don't know how you can feel anything at all.”
“She shouldn't be able to,” Meaghan said. “Quickening isn't usually felt so early. How far along are you? Twelve weeks?”
“Close,” Neiszhe responded. “Fifteen. What did you feel from him?”
“Contentment,” Meaghan said. “It's a basic emotion. How can you feel him move if you're only fifteen weeks along?”
“She isn't exactly feeling him. She's sensing him,” Nick answered for Neiszhe. “My mom said she could sense me moving at two months. All Healers can. And it's the same reason Neiszhe already knows he's a boy. On Earth it's five months before they know the sex of a baby, isn't it?”
“Give or take. And they have to use an ultrasound. That's a machine that can see a baby inside a woman's body,” Meaghan explained when Cal and Neiszhe exchanged a puzzled look. “Sometimes it's not that accurate. I'm assuming Healers always are?”
“Yes,” Neiszhe said. “We can tell if a baby is a boy or a girl at three months. But we can't sense emotions. Can you sense him now? I'd like to know what he's feeling.”
“Scared,” Meaghan answered. “He knows you're distressed and he's reacting to it.”
“Poor guy,” Cal muttered. “He doesn't know what's going on.” He crouched down next to the cot and spoke to Neiszhe's stomach again. “Don't be scared,” he said. “We're all safe.”
“That's interesting,” Meaghan said. She narrowed her eyes, focusing her power solely on the baby. “I didn't expect that.”
“Expect what?” Nick asked.
“He's calm. He seems to calm down each time Cal talks to him.”
“He knows my voice?” Cal asked. He turned on his heels to look at Meaghan for confirmation. She nodded. “No kidding,” he muttered and spoke to the baby again. “You're going to get sick of my voice, you know. The first time you break a rule, you'll really hate the sound of it.”
Aerenden: The Gildonae Alliance (Ærenden Book 2) Page 21