‘Bullshit,’ I said, not knowing what else to say.
‘No bullshit. Isn’t that how you people tend to respond? Anyway, if your ‘problem’ doesn’t get too serious, we tend to turn a blind eye.’
I groaned aloud. I wasn’t much of a fighter. The commander nodded at the courthouse.
‘But if things go too far or get out of hand, a prisoner in its basement is what you’ll be.’
Tobe …
‘Don’t even think about it,’ the commander said, catching the look on my face.
We crossed the empty road that split the camp in two, the commander leading us into another alley. We followed meekly, the two Creeps that were our escort trailing behind us. We kept walking. The further we walked, the fewer people we saw. After a while, I came to a stop.
Hemmed in by the towering walls of yet another alley, I had lost sight of the courthouse.
‘Ruby?’
‘Sh.’ She held a finger to her lips, like the youngest schoolmarm that’s ever been.
‘Sorry?’
‘Sh.’
We turned another corner. I saw her trace a line in the dirt on her left arm.
‘Clever girl,’ I said with genuine admiration.
‘Sh. I need to concentrate.’
We hurried on. The commander seemed to be in a world of his own, as if this was merely an everyday walk around a park of rolling hills and grass of the greenest green. Hands folded behind his back, he whistled tunelessly, seemingly content.
‘Ah, almost there,’ he said at some point.
We had been following a long, straight, featureless alley. Ahead, a familiar cyclone fence cut it off, train tracks lying beyond it. We drew up to the fence. The commander scratched his chin, looked back and forth, and led us down an alley that ran parallel to the fence.
‘And behold …’
We stepped around the commander and looked upon a graveyard of scrap that stretched as far as we could see. It was dotted with towering piles of junk: ravaged building materials, broken wood, splintered furniture, useless white goods, abandoned vehicles—it was as if the monstrous wall that had sealed off the Borough had been dumped in a pile in front of us.
I shielded my eyes from the glare, saw some enterprising souls picking through the debris.
‘This is our goodbye,’ the commander said, turning to us. ‘We’ve wasted enough time showing you around, you’re as ready as can be.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me …’
I stepped toward the commander. One of the Creeps flanking him drew his gun.
‘What’s to stop us running as soon you leave?’ I asked, coming to a stop.
I challenged him with it. All he did was laugh. Even Ruby smiled, although it was a bitter little thing. The commander swept his arm to encompass the sad sack of shit our world had become.
‘Where will you go? The Mallee? You’re certainly welcome to try.’ He spat in the dust to hammer his point home. ‘Now, help yourselves to as much junk as you can carry. Use it to make a home or to sell or trade—do with it what you will.’
‘And what then?’
‘And then you wait, like everybody else, for your chance to head up to the line.’ He smiled at me. ‘Good luck.’
He and his escort briskly walked away. I turned to see if Ruby was okay, only to find that she was already darting across the graveyard of scrap, scooting around the towering piles in search of the best refuse she could find.
‘Shit.’
I watched her dig through the graveyard’s crust. She avoided our fellow holdouts, leaving them to their scavenger hunts. I sat down, painfully. I pulled out a canteen, took a long drink, propped my pack behind me, tugged a possum skin pouch from my pocket, rolled some bush tobacco, leaned back, and lit up with Tobe’s trusty lighter.
There was no wind, the smoke lazily rising in an arrow-straight plume.
‘You’ve got to be kidding me …’
Taking the time to do nothing but sit—to rest and think without the constant shock of danger and flight—allowed the reality of our situation to properly sink in. I looked down, saw that my hands were shaking. I hurriedly butted out my bush tobacco, rather than drop it and start a fire. The shakes spread to the rest of my body. I lowered my head. I wept, snuffling, snorting back snot and tears. It was a dam bursting its banks. I gave in, bowed before it.
‘Bill, you ‘right?’ Ruby asked at some point.
I hadn’t even seen her return. She put an arm around my shoulder and my flood of grief began slowing to a trickle.
‘Yeah, cheers. It’s just …’
The words wouldn’t come. Exactly as the commander had done earlier, I swept my arm out to encompass the sad sack of shit our world had become.
‘I hear you.’
I looked at her. She wasn’t crying, didn’t look shell-shocked or overwrought.
‘Sometimes all you can do is go with it,’ she said.
She bounded to her feet, offered me her hand. I took it, somewhat embarrassed, sheepishly letting her haul me up.
‘Now, come on, I could do with some help.’
She led me across the unsteady field of rubble. She was surefooted and confident; I was hesitant and afraid of catching my stick. We stopped at a hole that she had dug and she reached inside, her small hands able to find what others’ couldn’t.
‘Come on, quit standing around.’
I pulled myself together, crouched next to her, tried to help. The thought of snakes or spiders didn’t even cross my mind. I touched something coarse and stiff. I gripped it tight. We pulled. Something gave; we fell back, stumbling.
‘Good one,’ Ruby said, quickly finding her feet and freeing our discovery.
It was an unbelievably old canvas tent, riddled with bullet holes. Ruby bundled it into a rough pile and once again reached into the hole that she had dug. The tent’s awning—equal parts tattered and ragged—soon saw daylight.
I helped her when I could.
‘That’ll do,’ she eventually said.
Some bent steel poles, a broken stool and a tangled mess of guy-ropes had joined the ratty pieces of tent.
‘So, what’s the plan?’ I asked, unable to help myself.
She snorted. I immediately felt incredibly stupid.
‘Better get a wriggle on, then, I guess,’ I said hesitantly.
She nodded, slowly, to hammer the point home.
We gathered our scrap and my pack. Ruby look the lead—I was too embarrassed to admit that I had no idea where to go or what to do next. We trudged along; we must have been a god-awful sight, weighed down like beasts of burden. We soon entered the featureless alley that had led us to the junkyard. We walked it for a long time, and then without warning Ruby hung left and we entered a different alley. From there, without the slightest pause, she led us through the slums to the road that split the camp in two.
‘Nice one.’
She didn’t look at me, her eyes fixed on the courthouse towering over us. I didn’t need to ask what was wrong.
‘Tobe’ll be ‘right,’ I said. ‘He’s as tough as they come.’
She just kept staring, doubt clouding her eyes. I tried to smile, to make her believe the words I didn’t.
‘Hey, it’s okay. I’ve known him a long time, he can take care of himself.’
She nodded almost imperceptibly.
‘Shall we?’
She nodded a second time and we continued our march. The noise grew, soon became incredible. Once more, I had no idea where to go. But Ruby seemed to know what she was doing—she led us down more alleys, confidently taking left turns and then right turns. I followed her, watching as she gave each ruined excuse for a home a thorough once over. Families of holdouts slept in some, exposed to the open air thanks to missing walls. Somehow they had adapted; they didn’t stir despite the din. Belongings and makeshift beds occupied others, while some were completely empty. The people we passed eyed us with suspicion. None of them tried to talk to us.
S
omewhere ahead, a dog starting barking. In an instant, Ruby darted off.
‘Hang on …’
She ignored me. Overburdened, I couldn’t hurry after her. I dropped my pack and load of scrap, limped on, found her crouched outside a shack, a puppy at her feet. Ruby gave the puppy a good scratch behind the ear—it rolled onto its back so that she could get to its belly.
Ruby smiled, actual happiness in her eyes.
The puppy noticed me, wriggled around like an upside-down beetle, squirmed from side to side, got to its feet, started barking furiously.
‘Jude, shut up!’
The voice came from behind a threadbare curtain covering the door to the shack. The puppy paid it no mind, kept barking, getting steadily louder. Ruby quickly managed to settle it down. The curtain twitched aside and a grizzled, unshaven face stuck itself out.
‘Shit, ah, g’day,’ the stranger said.
He sized us up. He smiled, gap-toothed and wide. I guessed that Ruby and I didn’t pose much of a threat.
‘I haven’t seen you around before,’ he said. ‘You folks must be new. My name’s Jacko—welcome to the camp.’
And then he held out his hand for me to shake.
Nineteen
Jacko’s kindness was the only thing that made that first night bearable. We didn’t ask why he had taken a shine to us; grateful for a friendly face after everything that had happened, we simply soaked up and basked in his hospitality. He helped us carry our meagre possessions into the abandoned shack adjoining his, helped us cut up the ruined tent we had found, helped us hang the pieces curtain-like around our new home so that we could have a modicum of privacy.
All around us, the shadows grew thicker as dusk approached.
‘Bugger, I forgot,’ Jacko said from nowhere. ‘I’ve got something for you both.’ He shuffled out of the shack, leaving Ruby and I to keep working.
‘You okay?’ I asked, even though I knew the answer.
She didn’t reply. We worked on in silence. I wanted to comfort her, but didn’t know how.
‘Yoo-hoo, anyone home?’ Jacko soon called out.
I was grateful for the interruption. And despite our tiredness, Ruby and I both smiled as he forced aside the broken door.
‘Here,’ he said, pulling something from his pocket, limping across the shack.
It was a rusty hand-cranked lantern, a tiny godsend.
‘Cheers.’
‘No worries.’
Jacko and Ruby started to knock up a makeshift bed, using the bent poles we had found and whatever strips of tent were left over. I cranked the lantern until I thought my wrist would break, finally hung it from a nail that had been driven into the wall. Jude lay flat on the raw dirt floor, watching us work, occasionally wagging his tail. Sometimes, he would look at us so pitifully that you would swear he had never been patted or scratched.
When the bed was done, I gratefully took a seat. Ruby and Jacko joined me; we sat side by side, it was a bit of a squeeze.
‘Think of it as cosy,’ Jacko said.
‘I’m not complaining.’
And it’s true, I wasn’t. If it hadn’t been for Tobe’s absence, I would have called myself vaguely content. The bed was more comfortable than I had expected, we had enough water to see us through until morning, and it didn’t feel like we were in any immediate danger. As well, Jacko had generously shared his rations, refrained from prying, and hadn’t asked any rude questions.
It was almost—almost—peaceful.
‘Excuse me,’ Ruby said, yawning loudly, surprising herself, smiling shyly.
I caught her yawn as easily as getting sunburnt. It had been a long day.
‘Okay, I’ll leave you be,’ Jacko said, laughing. He made it to his feet.
I joined him, held out my hand. ‘Ruby and I can’t thank you enough.’
We shook.
‘No worries, Bill. If we don’t look out for each other, what’s the bloody point?’
‘Too right,’ I said.
Jacko’s old-fashioned attitude made me smile. The world would be very different if everyone thought as he did.
‘Ruby?’ he asked.
She looked at him with sleep-heavy eyes.
‘It was a pleasure to meet you.’
She smiled. ‘Nice to meet you, too.’ She reached down, scratched Jude behind the ears. ‘Go on, good boy.’ He jumped up, licked Ruby’s hand, ran to Jacko, sat on his feet, and looked at him with love.
‘I’m off, then. Pleasant dreams.’
We bid him goodnight as he disappeared behind the makeshift curtain with Jude scrabbling at his heels. I heard him wedge the broken door in place, enter the alley, and call out to someone in a booming voice. Jude barked playfully. Someone else laughed.
Ruby once again yawned loudly. She stretched her arms, cracked her back. Still standing, I smiled to myself as she cottoned on to the fact that she had the bed to herself.
‘Good one,’ she muttered. She fell back. She shuffled around until she was lying flat.
‘I’ll, uh, take the floor, I guess.’
She didn’t answer. I sat down, threw my legs out straight, propped my pack behind me. Holes in the roof let moonlight in, a beautiful shining silver-blue.
‘Goodnight, Ruby,’ I said. ‘Sleep well.’
‘You too, Bill,’ she replied in a thick voice.
She was soon snoring. I got undressed and wormed around until I was comfortable enough, lying flat with my pack as a pillow.
The floor was more a slice of jagged earth than a decent place to kip.
‘Any port …’ I said to myself.
I stared at the sky through one of the holes in the roof. A spluttering orange glow occasionally broke the smear of stars and inky black; the insomnia sounds of the camp slowly became clearer, voices cheering far in the distance, soft as campfire whispers. I strained to understand it, never quite making it out. Ruby didn’t stir; oblivious to everything, she kept snoring.
The hand-cranked lantern hanging from the wall started flickering. A moment later, it went out, plunging the room into darkness.
‘Tobe,’ I murmured, barely knowing what I was saying.
His absence had never made itself felt so strongly. Instead of huddling in the dark, he would have cracked a joke or hurled a childish insult at me. He would have done something—anything—to make our new home bearable.
In the same breath, I cursed his name and hoped that he was okay.
The sound of Ruby crying out freed me from the semi-coma I had fallen into—I was getting to my feet before I was really awake, the memory of my wounds a faraway thing. I toppled, of course, my injured leg giving way. I caught myself on the wall, barely missing a rusty nail that stuck out like a jouster’s bayonet.
I screamed in pain, but managed to cut it off when I saw that Ruby was still asleep.
‘Sorry,’ I whispered.
I found my stick and steadied myself. Ruby started thrashing around, drenched in sweat. She said Tobe’s name once or twice, others that I didn’t recognise. Everything else was a garbled mess.
It was hard to deny the absurd urge to ask her if she was all right.
I crouched beside her, stroked her head, and told her that everything would be fine. She settled a little but kept crying. I did my best to soothe her. Lost in the dark, time seemed to stand still. I began to cry with Ruby, hoping that she would be okay under my watch. People can only be so adaptable; they can only stretch so far. The world needs kids like her not to break; it needs them to keep bouncing back, no matter what happens.
I didn’t know whose life I would rather have.
At some point, Ruby stopped crying. I stood up, worked the cramp out of my limbs, tried to ignore the pain in my leg.
I was awake; wide awake. I needed a smoke.
I felt my way past the makeshift curtain, limped across the shack, managed to shove aside the broken door, entered the alley. The murmuring quiet was a little louder, but was still a far-off sound; the orange glow st
ill spluttered in the sky; the alley was empty, the buildings lining it ruined. I breathed deeply, sucking in the cold night air. I patted my pockets, cursed myself for forgetting to bring a possum skin with me.
‘Bill, you okay?’ a voice asked.
I squinted, took my glasses off, cleaned them on my shirt, put them back on. A tiny red ember was all I could see.
‘It’s me, mate.’
Tobe? How?
The ember moved slightly. A shadow detached itself from one of the walls. Jacko stepped into a pool of moonlight, smiling crookedly around his bush tobacco.
‘How’s it going?’ he asked.
He pulled another hand-cranked lantern from his pocket, fired it up and held it aloft. Two cracked wooden crates emerged from the gloom, a patchwork cushion on one, a small metal flask and two chipped glasses on the other.
‘Expecting company?’ I asked.
‘You never know. Now, please, sit. Join an old man for a midnight drink.’
I gratefully lowered myself onto one of the crates. Jacko seemingly read my mind, passing me a leather tobacco pouch as I sat down. I rolled some up, felt around for Tobe’s lighter, and cursed my forgetful nature.
‘Here you go,’ Jacko said, smiling softly, passing me a lighter that was exactly like Tobe’s.
‘Cheers,’ I said, nonchalantly, trying to hide my surprise.
I lit up. It was smooth, the smoke full of flavours I couldn’t place, nothing like the wild stuff we harvested that never shook the taste of the bush. I beamed, unable to help myself.
‘You’re welcome,’ Jacko said.
The ruined buildings lining the alley glowed blue and cold, as ethereal as summer clouds. They had the ravaged dignity of dead trees under a full moon. They were almost beautiful.
Jacko poured two drinks, filling the glasses with a deep brown liquid.
‘So, is everything all right?’ he asked.
‘It’s Ruby, she was having some kind of nightmare.’
‘Sorry, mate. It happens to the best of us.’ He picked up one of the glasses, thrust it into my hand. ‘Here you go. To you and yours, may the sun shine on you both.’
The Rain Never Came Page 18