“What?”
“Robin, I . . .”
“Do you need something?”
“Yes, I do. I need you.”
“We’re not doing this. Have you signed the papers?” She closed her eyes. Asking that question made her heart shudder. She didn’t want him to sign those papers, but this was the right thing to do, right? He’d betrayed her. Shared too much with the woman he claimed he didn’t sleep with. How else would that woman know about . . . everything?
“I’m not signing them,” he said in a low tone. “I know you think I’m the scum of the earth, but I’m going to prove you wrong.”
She sighed heavily into the phone and wished she could tell him the truth. She didn’t think he was scum and she didn’t want her husband to walk away from their marriage. But what choice did she have? The trust was gone, and without being able to believe in him, she knew she’d learn to hate him.
Robin never wanted to hate Logan. “Can we stop this?”
“No. And I’m only saying this because I know there is more to all of this than just making it seem as if I betrayed you.”
“What else is there, Logan? Why would that woman know all about my medical issues if you didn’t tell her? It’s not as if I had the procedure done at Richmond Medical.”
“Robin, I swear I don’t know, but I didn’t tell her. Do you really think that if I kept it from your family I would tell Kamrie?”
“How the hell do I know? DNA says you’re the father of her child. I can’t be sure what you did and didn’t tell your work wife.”
“Is this what . . . ? Robin, you know I was—I thought I was friends with Kamrie. I never needed another woman because I knew who was at home waiting for me. You have always been all the woman I’ve needed. When did you stop believing that?”
Robin closed her eyes and tried to remember when that moment happened. Was it when the doctor told her that she wouldn’t be able to have kids? Was it when he held that little girl in Whole Foods and she knew that would never be their reality? Or was it the day when that woman walked into her house and told her how she took care of her husband at the hospital?
“I have to go. I have company coming tomorrow and I have to get ready.”
“Robin, please! Can I come see you tonight and talk to you about some real facts?”
She hated herself when the word yes dripped from her lips.
“See you soon.”
She wanted to tell him not to come, but he’d already hung up and she didn’t have the heart to call him back. Robin wanted to see him, wanted to see this evidence. What if he was telling the truth? Would that change everything? Would they pick up where they left off in their marriage or would they have to start over?
Logan would have questions about trust. Maybe she was on her way to pushing him into the arms of another woman. Would she have to explain that her lack of trust had more to do with her insecurities about her body and the inability to have his child? It may have been an old-fashioned way of thinking, but she wanted to be the wife and mother she’d grown up admiring.
Now, she couldn’t be that icon. That hurt. Hurt her that one day someone else could give him the one thing that she couldn’t. And no, she didn’t believe Logan’s reassurances that she was all he needed. How long would that last? People changed. And if it wasn’t Kamrie, how long would it be before it was a real affair or real child?
And who’s to say this isn’t a real child already? That nagging voice seemed to be getting louder every day and Robin couldn’t ignore it anymore. Tonight, she was going to have to make a hard decision and stick to it.
No matter what Logan showed her, their marriage was going to end. It wasn’t just because she believed that he had cheated, but she loved him enough to let him go.
Robin quickly put her groceries away, then considered changing her clothes. She stopped short of pulling her yoga pants and tank top off. This wasn’t a date. This was the end.
But being the true Southern belle that her parents raised, she cut up some of the fresh fruits and veggies she’d gotten from the market and placed them on the coffee table in the living room. Then she poured two glasses of merlot.
Next, she sprayed her favorite scent, honeysuckle cinnamon, throughout the house and lit two vanilla-scented candles. Then she reminded herself—again—that this wasn’t a date. She blew the candles out.
Now, she was watching the clock.
Chapter 13
Logan hated visiting Robin. She should’ve been home. Should’ve been in his bed eating whatever vegan food she was into these days. Or was she vegetarian? Didn’t matter. She needed to be home. In his arms. Looking up at her town house, he couldn’t wait for the day that she would sell it. Whatever she wanted to do with the money, he’d be behind it. She could take a trip with her sisters or she could take that solo trip to Italy that she had been talking about since they met in college.
But he wanted this place gone. He wanted his wife home.
After putting his car in park, Logan walked toward the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited to be invited in, like a vampire from that HBO series they used to watch. The porch light flickered on and Robin opened the door.
She looked amazing with her clean face and her hair brushed back from her face. It was as if time had rolled backward and she was that fresh-faced freshman who had stolen his heart.
“Wow,” he breathed.
“Come in,” she said, then turned her back to him. He followed Robin into the living room and smiled at her snack offering. No meat. He probably needed it after the way he and Liam had been eating lately. “You can have a seat and a glass of wine.”
Logan sat on the sofa and reached for the glass she’d nodded toward. “Thanks.”
They sat in an uncomfortable silence as they munched on the fruit. Robin took a sip of her wine, then focused on him. “So, you said you have some facts?”
“Liam is working on proof that Kamrie’s son isn’t mine and this is a pattern for her.”
“Having kids and blaming someone’s husband of being the father?” Robin fingered her wine glass, her voice teeming with sarcasm.
“Actually, yes.” Logan began telling her about Liam’s investigation and the affair that brought Kamrie to Richmond Medical. “What happened with her and the surgeon in Atlanta didn’t happen here, because I didn’t sleep with that woman. Liam said we need to get an independent DNA test to prove I’m not the father. I know I’ve been trying to keep all of this quiet, but it’s time to get from underneath this.”
“Why now? You had months to deal with this. Months that you kept this hidden from me.”
“If I’m honest, I thought this would blow over. I thought it was a stupid prank. But now I see it’s more than that.”
“So that means if you had taken this seriously then we wouldn’t be here?”
He ran his hand across his face and sighed. “Robin . . .”
Robin gulped her wine, then turned away from him. “What kind of life do you want? And are you sure it’s going to always include me?”
Logan placed his hand on her shoulder. “What kind of question is that? You are one of the biggest parts of my life.”
“And what happens when you want more out of life? The one thing I can’t give you?”
He ran his hand across his face again. “Can you still love me? Because that’s all I will ever need from you. Why don’t you believe me?”
“People change. Life changes and things that didn’t matter to you become the one thing you want.”
“Let me be clear, I’m not going to change my mind about not having a child without you.”
“You can see into the future now?” Robin reached for a slice of pineapple and Logan placed his hand on top of hers.
“I know I can’t see a future without you in it.”
She slipped her hand from underneath his. “We can’t do this. I love myself enough to . . .”
Logan shook his head and brought his finger to her lips. “W
hat we can’t do is give up on us, on our love. Why do you want to end our marriage?”
She raised her right eyebrow at him. “Because you haven’t given me a reason to believe you weren’t unfaithful. I’m not going to play the fool for you because I love you.”
“That’s how you feel?”
Robin wiped her teary eyes and sighed. “Logan, I don’t know what I feel. One minute I want to hate you, want to forget that I ever knew you. Then I think about how you . . . Logan, I’m all twisted up inside and I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Believe in me, in us. I’m going to prove that Kamrie is a damned liar.”
Robin leaned into her husband and he wrapped his arms around her. Logan brushed his lips across her forehead. “I don’t want to lose you. And I’m not going to divorce you.”
“Logan, I don’t want to hold you back from living your best life, with a woman who . . .”
“My best life is with you. Robin, when did you start doubting me so much?”
She pulled out of his embrace and looked him straight in the eye. Her silence gave him pause and he dropped his head.
“Did you ever believe that we were forever?”
Robin knew she should’ve been honest. She had her doubts about their marriage when he started putting in longer hours at the hospital but never talked about his surgeries as he had when he saved a life in the past.
She didn’t tell him about the times she went to his office to bring him lunch and found Kamrie there. The first time, she’d written it off as Logan being busy. The second time, her ire had been raised. Why in the hell was that nurse always around? When she’d finally asked him about it and his relationship with her, Logan had blown it off. That never sat well with her.
Kam was his right hand, he’d say. They were just friends and she had nothing to worry about. She had believed him until she couldn’t anymore.
Robin stroked her forehead. “You spent a lot of time with her, said you were just coworkers. Then she became your friend.”
“Because I thought she was my friend. I didn’t want anything to do with that woman that wasn’t work related.”
“Then how did this happen?” Robin sighed and rubbed her hand across her cheek.
“Because she has an MO, according to Liam.”
“What made her choose you?”
Logan shrugged. “Don’t know and don’t care. Just know that she was never an option for me. I have the woman I need and want right here.”
Robin wanted to believe it. She wanted this to be the moment that she said she was going home. But there were still too many unanswered questions. The little boy. Kamrie knowing about her surgery. She needed answers before she could truly try to work on fixing her marriage.
“My sisters are coming tomorrow and I don’t want to have puffy eyes because I’m crying all night,” she said. “But it hurt me when Kamrie threw it in my face that I can’t give you a child. And it hurts me to know that one day that’s going to matter to you.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that it will never matter to me? Rob, we were already looking at adoption. Remember that?”
She nodded as her tears flowed freely. “That’s why I can’t believe you would . . . I can’t believe all of this happened when we were starting our life with our new normal.”
Using his thumbs, Logan wiped her hot tears away. “There may be a few other reasons why this is happening. I hadn’t been doing a lot of surgeries and transplants over the last ten months.”
Robin furrowed her brows. “Why not? You’re the best they have on staff.”
Logan nodded. “Because I didn’t like the new medicine the hospital had been using on transplant patients. Too many people were dying. I wanted to see results of clinical research. The more questions I asked, the less I was on the schedule. So, I was snooping around. Then all of this hell broke loose.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You know your wife is a lawyer. Maybe I could’ve helped you.”
He stroked her cheek. “I thought I could handle it and I didn’t want you worrying about me.”
She pushed his hand away. “See, see? I’m tired of you treating me like I’m a fragile piece of china! It’s been that way since the surgery.” Robin leapt to her feet and started pacing.
“What do you mean, Robin?”
Robin shot him a cold stare and threw her hands in the air. “What do I mean?” she mimicked. “Just what the hell I said. You think I’m glass and everything is going to break me. Is that when you turned to your work wife because you thought your real wife was too fragile to deal with real life?”
Logan stood up and crossed over to Robin. He tried to draw her into his arms, but she pushed him back. “Answer me, damn it,” she demanded. “You know, I felt like you went from a protector to a helicopter mom after I was released from my doctor. I knew what I had to do to heal, but you acted like you couldn’t touch me unless it was for a medical reason for three months, Logan. Three fucking months. Do you know what that made me feel like?”
“I–I . . .”
“I wasn’t your goddamn patient. I was your wife. I wanted you. I needed you. And you were Dr. Baptiste. I needed my fucking husband. So, I believed that you cheated. You weren’t the man who claimed he couldn’t get enough of his Double R. You made me feel like I wasn’t . . .”
“I’m sorry,” he cried. “I never meant for you to feel that way. Robin, I was scared. I didn’t want you to die. So, yeah, I was cautious. Overly cautious. But that didn’t mean I was going to turn to some other woman.”
Robin glared at him. “And it didn’t occur to you to say these things to me? I wanted us to go to therapy and you kept saying no. We both suffered because of my cancer, but you made it seem as if I was just going through it alone and you were fucking Olivia Pope and had it handled. That’s why it was easy for me to believe you and that woman . . .”
He pulled her into his arms and let her cry against his chest. Logan stroked her hair. “And my dumb ass thought I was being strong for you. Robin, I was scared. I thought I was going to lose you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved in my life, and if God was going to take you, I wouldn’t have made it. I never wanted you to feel like I was weak and you couldn’t have my shoulder when you needed it. Was I overprotective? Yes. And I don’t regret it. I just wish I had talked to you about how I was feeling so we wouldn’t be here now.”
“Where do we go from here?” She pulled back from him.
“How can we fix this?” he asked.
“Have you figured out that I don’t need to be wrapped in bubble wrap to live?” she asked.
Logan nodded. “But, do you understand that nothing can change how I feel about you? That my future is nothing without you in it?”
“Yes.”
“How are we going to move forward?”
She locked eyes with him and expelled a sigh. “We’re going to fight everybody. From the hospital to Kamrie and anyone else with a problem with us. And when we win, the world will know not to fuck with us ever again.”
Logan smiled. “That’s my Double R. Rough rider.” He bent his head to kiss her, but she turned away.
“Our first fight starts in the morning because Alex and Yolanda are not feeling you at the moment. If I let you kiss me, we’re going to have some amazing sex and you won’t be able to drive home.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Alex and Yolanda are coming here in the morning. I’m going to have to ease them into this reconciliation.”
“Well, if I’m here in the morning, we could put on a united front. Because I’m not against having amazing sex with you tonight.”
Robin laughed. “Logan.” Her voice was a deep purr. “It is a little late.”
“And I did have a glass of wine. I’d hate to get a DUI.”
“That was lame.”
He nodded. “Any excuse will do. Robin, I want you.”
&nbs
p; “Maybe if you leave early?”
“Set the alarm. I actually have a meeting at the hospital in the morning. But that doesn’t mean I can’t spend the night.” He winked at her and Robin’s knees turned to jelly.
“Yes, it does.” She smiled, knowing he was going to wake up with her in the morning.
“You could at least show me where you sleep. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”
“You’re a hot mess, you know that?”
“And that’s one of the reasons you love me,” Logan said as he inched closer to her quivering lips. “You know what I was afraid of these last six months?”
She shook her head.
“You telling me that you didn’t love me anymore.”
Robin wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled his lips down on top of hers. She didn’t know how not to love Logan. Even when she tried. His tongue brushed across hers as Robin pressed her body against his. She nearly gasped at how quickly he was aroused. Just like the old days.
He always said her lips were magical. Robin broke the kiss and smiled at her husband. “I guess I can show you my bedroom.”
“And then you can show me where you put your clothes after you take them off before you go to bed.”
“Maybe I sleep in my clothes.”
He shook his head and laughed. “Whatever, woman.”
Robin took his hand and led him toward her staircase. “Am I treating you like glass if I pick you up and walk up these stairs with you in my arms?” Logan asked.
“No.”
He gathered her in his arms and Robin kissed him on his neck, knowing he was ticklish in that very spot—two inches underneath his earlobe.
“Oh shit, Rob,” he moaned.
“Just checking.”
“Mess around and I’m going to drop you.”
“The only place you’d better drop me is on the bed. Get moving, Baptiste,” she quipped. Logan took the steps two at a time as Robin stroked his chest. She nodded toward the master bedroom.
As soon as he walked in, Logan eased his wife onto the bed. “Nice room.”
She shrugged. “Great place to sleep.”
Won't Go Home Without You Page 13