“Hi, Grandma. Can I get you something to eat?” I asked her between spoonfuls.
“No, thanks, sweetie. I’m heading out on my morning walk. I’ll see you after school,” she said as she walked by us and headed towards the front door. It was a new kick she was on. My mom told me my grandma was convinced if she was more active, her Alzheimer’s wouldn’t develop as quickly. We both knew it wasn’t true, but as long as it gave her hope, we’d support her.
“Be safe,” my mom called to her before my grandma walked out of the house.
“Will do, Lizzie.”
We heard the front door close and my mom set her phone down and turned to me.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she began and I looked at her curiously. “Would you be adverse to Jack coming to your graduation?”
“Of course not. Why would I be?”
“I just wanted to ask you first…in case you’d rather he not.”
“I like Jack, Mom. He makes you happy, so I’m fine with him.” I set my spoon down and then looked at her hesitantly before speaking again. “Are you okay with him being there? I mean, Dad and Robin are coming into town for it. Will that be weird for you?”
“It’ll be fine, Riley.”
“Are you sure?”
“Your father and I have been divorced for nearly three years. I’ve moved on and so has he. Our focus is you and we’re both so proud of you. That’s all that matters.”
I just nodded and then I heard a loud rumbling from outside. I recognized it instantly as Jesse’s Wagoneer. I spooned a few more bites into my mouth before dumping the rest into the sink.
“Jesse’s here,” I said, grabbing my bag.
“Have a good day.”
“You too,” I said, waving and then heading outside.
I jumped in the passenger seat and then leaned over, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He put the Jeep in reverse and headed towards the school.
A few minutes later, we were pulling into the parking lot of Carver High. My eyes drifted around the sea of cars and they stopped momentarily on the familiar black Altima. Even though it had been nearly six months, I sometimes found myself looking at that car when we’d pull into the parking lot. It still hurt when I thought about how badly Alex had hurt me, not because I still loved him…I’d come to realize I’d probably never loved him at all, but because I’d given something of myself to him I could never get back, especially when the one I truly loved was sitting beside me and had been there all along.
I ripped my eyes away from the car and looked discreetly back at Jesse. His dark hair was still damp from the shower and he was dressed in his typical attire: comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. Today his shirt was gray and said MARINES in black letters across the front. He parked the car and we held hands as we walked towards the maroon doors.
My mind drifted to when I walked through those same doors on my first day back after everything had gone down with Alex. When I first discovered he’d only used me and I’d meant nothing to him, I swore I’d never come back to Carver. I wanted nothing to do with this backwards, hick town as I used to refer to it. But after Jesse helped me realize I couldn’t let what Alex had done to me rule my life, I had come back. Even though I knew everything would eventually be okay, I was still scared as I walked through those doors.
That first day back had not been easy. Jesse had been holding my hand and my friends surrounded me, but it didn’t shield me from the peculiar looks I got as I walked down the hall. Alex and Adrienne had appeared too shocked to see me to say anything at first. Adrienne’s mouth, agape from surprise, didn’t stay stunned for long. After the initial shock, it turned up into a devious grin. Alex had watched me for a moment, his face revealing nothing of his thoughts. He turned away quickly though and part of me thought perhaps he felt some sort of remorse for how he’d treated me. I really didn’t care either way though. I hadn’t come back to dwell on what had happened. I had returned to be with my family, my friends, and Jesse.
It was definitely awkward when I’d first come back, but I continued to keep on, showing Alex he hadn’t won and that I was not going to run from the people I cared most about just because of one regrettable indiscretion in my life. Those people meant more to me than the humiliation he’d caused. I wasn’t going to be away from them because I didn’t want to be near him.
Adrienne and her cronies, Dana and Kristen, would mumble about me and glare across the cafeteria, but after I continually ignored Adrienne’s verbal assaults, she eventually gave up and life returned to almost normal. Other students didn’t seem to care either. I wasn’t that important to them. The world of high school was a small one and attentions turned as soon as the next drama unfolded. Lucky for me, their attention spans were disturbingly short.
I pulled myself away from my flashback and saw our friends were at our usual meeting spot: Holly’s locker. They were all talking amongst themselves, Mandy’s hands gesturing enthusiastically as always and Laura glaring over to Brandon, as was often the case. He was always saying something just to annoy everyone, which, although irritating sometimes, was one of the things that made Brandon so endearing. Holly was just standing there, listening to it all and she looked up when they saw us coming.
“Did you guys have a nice weekend?” she asked once we’d joined the group.
“We did,” Jesse said, holding my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly as he looked over to me with a grin. I could tell he was thinking back to our afternoon in the pond the day before, just as I was.
“You two are really sickening sometimes,” Laura piped in and Jesse and I started laughing. “Don’t you ever get tired of the way he looks at you all the time, Riley? All goo-goo eyed?”
“Nope. Never,” I said, kissing the back of Jesse’s hand in return.
“I think it’s sweet,” Mandy chimed in. She was a hopeless romantic and I loved her for that.
“Of course you would. Too bad you’ll never find someone to look at you that way,” Brandon laughed. I would’ve been shocked had I not known Brandon and knew these insults were a daily occurrence for him. Mandy knew he was kidding, but she slugged him anyway and Brandon just laughed again, before wrapping his arm around her and hugging her playfully. “You know I’m joking, right?” he asked, showing perhaps he was growing up. He’d only recently started admitting his teasing, which was about as close as anyone was going to get to an actual apology. Perhaps someday he’d stop the teasing altogether. I wasn’t holding my breath though.
As I looked at my friends I was suddenly overcome with sadness. We only had one more week in the halls of Carver High. One more week of meeting up at the old maroon lockers I’d once despised. One more week of our group being our group. After graduation, we’d stay in touch, but it wouldn’t be the same. Jesse and I along with Holly were headed to K-State. Laura was moving to Oklahoma with her cousin, Mandy had decided to attend the local community college and Brandon had enlisted in the Army and would be leaving for basic training in Georgia at the end of July. Even though I’d known them less than a year, they were the closest friends I’d ever had. They’d accepted me right from the start, even when I was acting like a spoiled brat. They’d been there for me through my toughest time and I’d miss seeing them every day.
I leaned into Jesse and he put his arm around me and I just smiled, enjoying everything just the way I liked it, knowing too soon, it would all change.
Chapter Three
My dad and Robin landed in Wichita the day before graduation. They couldn’t stay long, only two days, but I was happy to have my whole family there to celebrate. My dad seemed a little uncomfortable, and I wondered if there wasn’t something more to the story. He never came with us on the rare Carver trips of my youth. I never wondered about it when I was younger. I always suspected it had to do with work, but now that I was older and more in tune to the subtleties of body language, I thought perhaps he didn’t get along with my mom’s side of the family. Still, I had to give everyon
e credit, because they all were polite and cordial to each other. Robin was being a good sport too. She was a city girl, born and raised in Boston, and I watched as she observed Carver as a curiosity, just as I had when I first arrived.
The night my dad and Robin got into town, we all met up at my Uncle Mike and Aunt Debbie’s house for a small cookout. I invited Jesse and his father and was surprised Mr. Baylor showed up. The longer I dated Jesse, the more I realized how much he did for himself. Mr. Baylor was a nice man and I had no doubt he loved his son, but he was always a little distant. That could’ve been an assumption on my part though. Maybe he was more open when I wasn’t around, but he kept to himself when I hung out at Jesse’s and it made me sad in a way. Jesse never seemed bothered by it though. He actually adored his father and he seemed content with his situation. As long as he was okay, I figured I should be too.
When graduation morning finally came the heat had broken, just as Jesse predicted, so when I put the heavy maroon gown over my black dress, it wasn’t completely unbearable. I finished putting my cap on and went downstairs to where my parents were waiting. My grandma was sitting in her usual chair reading through Reader’s Digest, while my dad and Robin sat on the couch and my mom and Jack sat on the loveseat watching the Royals and Tigers game. My mom flipped off the TV when she heard me coming down the stairs. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem as awkward seeing them all sitting around together as I thought it would.
“Ready to go?” I asked once I entered the living room, anxious to get to the football field and see my friends.
My parents stood up and they were both smiling. For a moment it felt as if we were a family again. The realization quickly swept through me though that we weren’t. Still, I was thankful that no matter what the differences between my parents, they always put me first and I loved them for that.
“I can’t believe you’re graduating,” my mom said, walking towards me. I could hear her voice cracking and she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly before letting me go.
“It feels like I just dropped you off at kindergarten,” my dad said, taking me in his arms.
“I actually remember that day,” I told him.
“You wouldn’t stop crying. You made me stay with you long after all the other parents had gone.”
He hugged me again and I started feeling teary eyed. As much I agreed with my decision to stay in Kansas, I missed seeing my dad. There were so many things I wished I could’ve changed, like my parents staying together, but I knew if they’d never broken up, I’d never have come to Carver, and I’d never have met Jesse. I was starting to become a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and even when those reasons don’t seem to make sense, things work out the way they’re supposed to. Too many things had happened in my life to believe otherwise.
“Okay,” I said, pulling back from my dad and discreetly dabbing at a tear with the sleeve of my robe. “Enough of this mushy stuff. Let’s get these pictures taken and get to the football field.”
My grandma stood up and grabbed the camera. After what seemed like a million different pictures, we all piled into our cars and headed to the graduation. The parking lot was packed when we arrived, but we found spaces and my family went to find their seats. I scoured the crowd for my friends, but it was hard to pick anyone out since it was a sea of maroon and everyone looked the same.
I looked over to make sure my parents were settling into their seats and then I smiled, having spotted Jesse’s dad. His Uncle Glenn was there as well. I jumped when I felt a pair of hands slide around my waist from behind and I instantly knew it was Jesse.
“Hey,” he whispered as he kissed me gently on the neck.
I spun around so I was facing him and reached up with my hands, pulling his face to mine as I kissed him.
“Are you ready for this?” I asked him.
“I’ve been ready. I can’t wait to get to Manhattan in the fall and start college life.”
“Me too,” I said, reaching up and kissing him again.
“Seriously. Can’t you two keep your hands off each other for two seconds?” Laura’s voice broke through our moment and Jesse and I grinned at each other before turning to see our friends walking towards us.
“Sorry. We’ll try and refrain from anymore PDAs this evening,” I said, but Laura just shook her head.
“That is an impossible task for you two,” she said.
“It’s finally here. Can you believe it?” Mandy squealed. I thought she might burst like balloon from her overwhelming excitement.
“We’d better go get in line,” Holly said as she turned towards the already forming string of students.
Brandon glanced down at his watch and agreed. I gave Jesse a quick peck on the cheek and heard Laura sigh, before we all went to find our places. Laura, Brandon and I were near each other since our last names started with R, S, and T, but Holly was in the middle and Jesse was near the front only a few spots away from Adrienne and Alex, whose last names also started with B. They didn’t acknowledge us and rumor had it, they weren’t even acknowledging each other anymore either. Alex had allegedly moved onto his next target, but I was certain he’d somehow find his way back to Adrienne. They only seemed suited for each other. Both of them were narcissistic, selfish and completely devoid of human emotion.
I didn’t want to waste any more of my time or energy on them and I focused on Jesse instead. He was looking down at the ground and I would’ve given anything to be a fly on the wall of his mind. I wanted to know what he was thinking about. He looked sullen and I hated when Jesse looked sad. He was so full of life, always smiling and laughing, but there were some moments, when he didn’t know I was watching, that the cheerfulness left his face. It didn’t stay long, but I noticed it.
He must’ve felt me watching him because he looked up a moment later and smiled at me. I smiled back just as the principal’s voice came over the loud speaker, signaling the beginning of the ceremony.
****
After we listened to the various speakers, all of whom came up with one cliché after another, basically telling us the world was ours for the taking, we lined up for our diplomas. It didn’t take long since there were only about a hundred people in the graduating class.
After the last diploma had been handed out, the standard tossing of the caps and cheering to an overdone graduation song, Carver High’s choice being Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’, we all disbanded to find our families. My parents and grandma hugged me again and I could tell both my mom and dad were trying to hold back the tears. It felt good to know they were proud of me, especially after the year we’d had. As I was hugging my dad, I peered over his shoulder and saw Jesse with his father. They were standing a few feet apart and Mr. Baylor extended a hand to his son. Jesse smiled and shook it. His dad reached over and pulled Jesse to him quickly, giving him a few pats on the back, and when Jesse pulled away, he had a smile on his face that was different than any smile I’d seen before. He almost looked childlike and it made me happy to see him so content.
I turned my attention back to my family and we chatted for a while as the field began to clear. It was nearly nine o’clock and my dad and Robin’s flight left early in the morning. They were going to head back to the hotel to get some sleep.
“Thanks for coming, Dad,” I said as I walked him back to his rental car.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Ry.”
“I’m glad you could come too,” I said, smiling over to Robin. She leaned in and hugged me and it wasn’t nearly as awkward between us as it once had been.
“Me too, Riley. Thank you for including me,” she said and I could tell by the look in her eyes she was truly grateful.
“I’ll see if I can swing a trip to Boston before the semester starts,” I said, but my dad interrupted.
“You just concentrate on getting ready for college. Don’t feel any pressure to come home,” he said and I didn’t bother to correct him that I was home.
&n
bsp; “Well, I’ll see what I can do. I’m going to try and get a summer job to help with some of the expenses.”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea. You’ve been bumming off of your mother and I long enough,” he joked. “You still haven’t paid me for that plane ticket back in December.” He was laughing, but I knew he was right.
“Hey, I sent you thirty dollars a few weeks ago.”
“Thirty bucks out of $500. That doesn’t even scratch the surface!” He pulled me to him again and I closed my eyes, cherishing his burly hug, not knowing when I’d feel it again. “I love you, kid.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
He kissed the top of my head and then he and Robin climbed in the car. I watched, teary eyed, as they drove off and I felt Jesse’s arm drape across my shoulder. I hadn’t even known he was there till I felt him beside me. I rested my head on his shoulder as I watched them drive away.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I just miss my dad.”
“I’m glad he got to come.”
“Me too.
We were quiet for a moment before I turned to face him.
“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know,” I said, looking away for a moment as I traced my foot along the sand. “You looked kinda down right before the ceremony started.”
“I’m fine, Riley.”
“Are you sure? I mean…you’d tell me if you weren’t, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course I would.”
“I just…I just care about you so much, Jesse and if you ever need anything, you know I’m here, right?”
He just smiled and leaned in, kissing me tenderly.
“I’m really okay. I was just thinking how everything’s about to change, that’s it. Nothing earth shattering. Now, we should get going.”
Far From Home Page 2