“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No.” I grinned at him and suddenly I was nervous. It was a good nervous, but still nervous. Everything had changed between us, but as my eyes met his, I knew it was a good change. “I was just having breakfast.”
He followed me inside and shut the door behind him. He looked around for a moment before noticing the stillness of the house.
“Where is everyone?”
“Mom’s at work and Grandma’s out walking.”
“So…” he said, his eyebrow raising and a half-smile forming on his face. “We’re alone?”
“We are,” I replied, smiling coyly back at him and it was as if the floodgates had been opened. He didn’t wait for me to say another word before he was kissing me. It was a hungry kiss that reminded me of last night. A moment later, he had me pinned against the wall, his hands moving carelessly over my body and I became all too aware of how thin the cotton of my t-shirt was. All I could think about was what we’d done the night before and how I wanted nothing more than to feel that again.
His hands continued to move over my body faster than his lips and I couldn’t keep up with him. His breath, warm and sweet, continued to pant over me and he suddenly stopped, eyes closed as his palms rested against the wall on either side of me. I was trapped and I didn’t want him to let me go. He was nearly out of breath when he finally opened his eyes.
“Why’d you stop?” I whispered.
“Because in another second, I wouldn’t have been able to.” His deep, husky voice washed over me and I reached out, wrapping my arms around his waist. He encircled me in his embrace and he kissed the top of my head before we finally let go. I took his hand and led him into the kitchen.
The Lucky Charms were nothing but a soggy mess at this point and I dumped them into the sink before turning my attention back to Jesse, who was watching me with his arms folded across his chest and an easy smile on his face. I felt my cheeks go red and just shook my head as I tried to hold back the happy smile fighting its way to my lips.
“Well,” I finally began. “That was quite the good morning hello.”
“Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.” He was still grinning in a way that told us both he knew precisely what had come over him.
“You knew exactly what you were doing,” I said with a laugh and he shrugged his shoulders, but nodded.
“Perhaps I did.”
“You’ve never greeted me like that before,” I pointed out and his eyebrow rose again.
“Well…we’re doing a lot of things we’ve never done before.”
The room grew silent and our eyes locked. My heart was pounding and I knew his was too. He wanted exactly what I wanted, but we both knew we couldn’t have it right now. I knew I needed to do something to defuse the situation before we got ourselves into a position there was no turning back from. There’d be time to be together again, but this was not that time. I could never disrespect my grandmother’s house that way.
“I’m gonna go take a shower. Wait for me down here, okay?” I waited for him to make some sly remark about him joining me, but he didn’t. He just nodded and I headed upstairs.
I took a quick shower, but the whole time, all I could think about was being with Jesse again. The night before had been everything I’d hoped it would be and the fact he’d seemed more eager to see me in the morning than I was to see him, reassured me that this time, it was all going to be different. I shook my head, annoyed at myself for even thinking the experience with Jesse would be anything like the one with Alex. Jesse had spent our entire friendship showing me how much he cared about me. I guess I was just more wounded by the betrayal from Alex than I even realized. I told myself I was okay and that I’d let it go and for the most part, I knew I truly had, but there was that small piece of my heart that still hurt and a speck of my brain that was always on the lookout for signs it might happen again, no matter how hard I tried to shut it off.
Once out of the shower, I toweled off quickly and changed into a pair of cut-offs and a fitted white t-shirt, before running a brush through my long hair. I didn’t bother styling it or putting any make-up on. Jesse thought I was beautiful no matter what I looked like and I just wanted to get back to him.
He was sitting on the couch, flipping through the minimal channels on my grandma’s 19-inch TV when I got downstairs. I joined him on the couch, snuggling up close to him as he draped his arm around my shoulder.
“I see you still haven’t convinced your grandma to upgrade the TV yet,” he laughed, finally just deciding to turn it off.
“I’m working on it, but she’s pretty set in her ways.” I was tracing circles with my index finger on his chest, watching the little trails forming on his t-shirt.
The room grew quiet and he began playing with my hair while I continued to stroke his chest. It was a comfortable silence and I closed my eyes for a while, listening to him breathe.
“I could hardly sleep last night,” he finally said and I opened my eyes.
“I slept like a log. I was pretty beat after our escapades,” I laughed. He did too, but only for a moment.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he continued. “I was worried. I wish I could’ve stayed with you all night to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” I asked, sitting up Indian style so I could look at him.
“I worried maybe you’d regretted it…I mean, after everything that happened this year. I thought maybe you just told yourself you wanted it, but now, after what was obviously a good night’s sleep…” He stopped for a second, eyeing me knowingly before continuing on. “I thought maybe you’d changed your mind. I thought you might be worried because of what happened…with him,” Jesse said reluctantly. “I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t going to be here for you.”
“And that’s why you came over so early,” I concluded and he nodded. I took his hands with mine and I leaned in, kissing him tenderly. “And that is why I love you so much, Jesse Baylor. Because you are nothing like him.”
He smiled and gently stroked my cheek before kissing it softly. He stood up, reaching his hand down to me. I took it and he pulled me up.
“C’mon. Let’s get outta here,” he said, encouraging me towards the door.
“Where are we going? It’s only nine o’clock.”
“I don’t know and I don’t care, but I have to get outta here before I can’t stop myself from pulling off that little white shirt of yours and having my way with you in your grandmother’s house. You know I’m too polite to do that, but those shorts you’re wearing are causing me to be at a dangerously low level of common sense and if I look down at those legs of yours one more time, I fear I may lose all control of my moral compass.” We both started laughing and I followed him onto the porch and down the steps towards his Wagoneer. “Any suggestions?”
“How ‘bout the pond? I hear it’s kinda secluded there.” I gave him a wicked grin, which he just gave back to me and I suddenly felt him pulling me towards his Jeep even faster.
Chapter Six
Just like I’d told my dad, my goal after graduation was to find a job and save some money over the summer before leaving for K-State. Jesse had already started working at his dad’s mechanic shop in town, so while he was gainfully employed, I sat around waiting for someone to call. I knew jobs in Carver were scarce. I swear I’d applied everywhere I could and I was beginning to lose hope when a flower shop downtown called for an interview. I guess I nailed it because I got hired on the spot. The owner, a middle aged woman named Jill, said I’d be arranging flowers, taking orders and even making deliveries. It sounded easy enough and after spending the half hour in the shop during the interview, I doubted any job where you were surrounded by beautiful sights and smells all day with the sole purpose of making people happy could be bad, but still, I was nervous on my first day. Jill said it was casual, so I decided on a nice pair of jeans and a black top. I pulled my hair back and after a
bowl of cereal, I made my way to Main Street.
When I walked inside, the bell on the door jingled and Jill poked her head out of the back.
“Mornin’, Riley!” she called to me.
“Hi, Jill,” I said, walking over to her. “Where can I put my stuff?”
“Just set it there in the back.” She pointed to a back room and I walked over, putting my purse inside and then turned back to her.
“You ready to get started?” Jill smiled warmly at me and I knew I was going to like her.
“I am,” I said eagerly and she began showing me around the store. There was more to learn than I expected. I had never been known for my green thumb, and there was a lot to know in the flower care department. Jill gave me a flip chart to help me get acquainted with the different flower varieties. I obviously knew the basics like roses and daisies and tulips, but there were some I’d never heard of. I decided I would tell Jesse he needed to start sending me bouquets of exotic flowers to help me learn.
After spending the first couple of hours getting used to the store, Jill left to run a quick errand, leaving me in charge. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little hesitant at the thought, but Jill assured me she’d be back in a half an hour and that her son would be coming shortly, so if there were any problems, he could take care of it. I breathed a little easier, but I was still a bundle of nerves when I heard the bell on the door stop jingling, signaling I was completely alone.
We hadn’t had one customer all morning so I used the time to study my flip chart and get to know the different flowers. In the middle of comparing the lily of the valley with an iris, I was startled to hear the door swing open. I turned my head to see a young man walk in. He couldn’t have been much older than me, but I didn’t recognize him from Carver High. I may not have known everyone at school, but I was fairly certain I’d at least seen everyone and I was certain I’d never seen this guy before. He was tall and lean, with an athletic build and his hair was nearly as dark as mine. It was cut short, but it was a little wavy on top. He smiled when he saw me and I wondered if he was Jill’s son.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“You must be Riley,” he said and I nodded. “I’m Matt Campbell, Jill’s son.”
“Oh, hi,” I said, relieved it was him and not a customer.
“So, the place is still standing, which is a good sign.” He smiled and I laughed a little at Matt’s joke. “How’s it going?”
“It’s going alright. Your mom gave me this flip chart. I’ve been trying to familiarize myself with the flowers and plants. I think I’m making a little headway.”
“If you’re not into botany, what brought you to a job in a flower shop?” Matt asked, walking past me. He went behind the counter and started looking through a notebook.
“Money. I needed a job and your mom was the first to offer me one.”
“What’re you saving money for?”
“College. I start at K-State in August.”
“K-State?” he asked and stopped writing in the notebook. He looked up at me curiously and I nodded. “Manhattan campus?” Again, I nodded. “I’ll be a junior there in the fall.”
“Really?” I asked and I felt a smile spread across my face, knowing Matt could give me some pointers about the university.
“Third year psychology major.”
“So, will you be analyzing everything I say?” I asked and he started laughing.
“Uh…no. You can rest easy. I’m just getting into the core of the program so I’m not that knowledgeable yet, although I won’t make any promises that I won’t try.”
“Well, that’s good to know,” I said, turning back to my flip chart. He finished up what he was doing, put the notebook back and started unloading some boxes in the back.
“You just graduated then?” Matt asked a while later and I nodded. “I don’t recognize you from Carver High. I just graduated two years ago. Did you go there?”
“Just my senior year. I transferred from Boston.”
“Boston?” I hadn’t seen the look of surprise that was on Matt’s face in so long. It took me back to when I first moved to Carver when I seemed to get that look from everyone when they learned where I was from. “You’re pretty far from home.”
“Nah,” I said, shaking my head. “Carver’s home now.”
He looked at me quizzically. Matt definitely didn’t need to know the story behind my conclusion.
“We just got an online order,” he said a few moments later. “Wanna fill it?”
I nodded and walked over to the computer. It was an order for a dozen red roses. At least it was a flower I already knew.
Chapter Seven
After a week, I came to the conclusion working at the flower shop wasn’t a hard job and I found myself enjoying it. Jill and Matt were easy to work with too. I loved the smell of the shop and arranging the flowers proved to be a creative outlet I never knew I had. I made deliveries on occasion too and as corny as it sounds, the smile on people’s faces when they saw the flowers, brightened my day. It was impossible to leave work in a bad mood when I was surrounded by beauty and making people happy all day. Jesse seemed to notice my pleasant mood as well.
“You should’ve started working at the flower shop a long time ago,” he pointed out as we drove towards the movie theater.
“Why’s that?” I turned by body so I was facing him.
We’d both been working all week and were finally getting a chance to spend some quality time together. We’d made sure to see each other every day, but it wasn’t for very long. We were both beat by the end of the day and had to get up early in the mornings, so we both thought it wiser to make our nights early ones. Tonight was different though. We were catching a movie and then heading back to his house until I had to be home for curfew. His dad was away on a hunting trip and we were both anxious to have the house to ourselves. I blushed just thinking about it. I tried to focus back on the conversation, but he made it nearly impossible to think straight when he always smelled and looked so good. And whenever he’d smile at me in that way that told me he wanted me as badly as I wanted him, I was a goner. He could’ve told me to jump off a bridge and I probably would have.
“You just seem happier,” he said, drawing me back from my straying thoughts.
“Was I not happy before?” He took my hand and kissed the back of it, before resting our entwined fingers in his lap as he continued to drive.
“I adore 99.9% of you, Riley. I love every little thing about that 99.9%, but there’s that little tiny bit…the bit that reads way too much into everything that drives me absolutely insane.” He was smiling, so I knew he wasn’t being mean. Jesse was never mean to me. “And before you go reading into that statement,” Jesse continued, looking over to me with a playful grin. “Even though there’s a tenth of a percent of you that drives me nuts, I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
“Good save,” I said and scooted myself into the middle of the bench seat, resting my head on his shoulder as he drove. “And just so you know, I adore the entire package that is you. All one hundred percent. There’s not a thing about you that drives me insane.”
He started laughing before he spoke again.
“Well, you obviously don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
“Then let me continue to live in my world of delusions because as far as I can see, you’re perfect.”
He just shook his head and put his arm around me before turning into the parking lot of the theater.
****
The movie was good, but I was more excited to get back to Jesse’s place. Ever since that first night at the pond, I now completely understood about raging hormones. It was as if sometimes I was in no control of my own body. It didn’t help the fact that my boyfriend was an absolute hunk. Perhaps if he was even a little bit ugly, it wouldn’t have been as hard. I was glad my mom had basically forced me to get on birth control once she realized Jesse and I were serious. I’d insisted I didn’t need
it, but she didn’t want to take any chances and I now realized my mom was much wiser than I gave her credit for.
When we got to Jesse’s I wasn’t interested in any formalities as he shut the door to the empty house behind us. We had the entire place to ourselves. There was no way anyone would be interrupting us, so when Jesse put his keys down on the table by the front door, I grabbed him by the scruff of the shirt and pulled him into his bedroom. Before he could say anything, I reached down to the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He tried to look shocked, but I knew he was enjoying it as much as I was.
“I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not that kind of guy.”
“You’re exactly that kind of guy and you know this is all you’ve been able to think about since you picked me up tonight.”
I took his hand and pushed him playfully onto his bed and he lay there with nothing on but his jeans.
“I don’t think it’s very fair that you’re still fully clothed,” he grinned wryly, propping himself up on his elbows.
“Then do something about it,” I teased and he bolted up, pulling me on top of him as he began fiddling with the buttons on my shirt until it hung open. “Now, that’s better.”
His lips found mine then and they moved slow and tenderly, as if he wanted to savor everything about the moment. It wasn’t rushed and urgent and as much as I wanted to speed things up and get to the good part, I found myself slowing down too, focusing on the movements of his body when I touched him in the just the right spot, the taste of his tongue as it met mine, and the slow moans that escaped from Jesse every so often. I tried to stay with the calm, easy way Jesse was leading us, but I didn’t last long. As his mouth continued moving slowly and deliberately while his hands explored my body, I felt myself twisting and turning beneath him, hoping my movements would encourage him to follow, but he didn’t. He laughed quietly, biting my lip playfully before whispering as his lips still dangled over mine.
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