by Lisa Dyson
“So what’s up?” he asked.
Her head jerked up. “What do you mean?”
“You’re acting like there’s something on your mind.”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Finally she spoke. “Paula asked me to come to the hospital last night.”
Kyle narrowed his eyes, waiting for her to continue.
“She wanted to ask me something.” Ashleigh took a long drink of her iced tea and finally set it down again. “She wants me to be her birth coach.”
“Wasn’t your mom going to do it?” He doubted Paula had thought this idea through. Didn’t she realize how hard that would be on Ashleigh, watching her sister do what she could never do herself?
Ashleigh filled him in on her grandmother’s condition. “Paula is worried Mom won’t be back in time. Actually, my mom may have made the suggestion.”
“What did you tell her?” he asked.
“I said I’d have to think about it. She wasn’t real happy with my response.”
Kyle wasn’t surprised, and Paula shouldn’t have been, either. “Isn’t there someone else who could do it?” No one came to mind, though.
Her eyes narrowed and her tone sharpened. “You sound like you think it’s a bad idea.”
“I’m worried,” he explained. She’d somehow gone from thinking about it to arguing that it was the right thing for her to do. “Labor and delivery holds a lot of bad memories for both of us. I’m not even sure I’d be comfortable doing it.”
“So you think I’ll fall apart in the middle of her labor?” she snapped.
This wasn’t going well at all. He spoke slowly and deliberately. “No, that’s not what I think.”
“Then tell me why you’re so against it,” she challenged, rising from her chair.
“I’m worried about you.” His response was louder than he wanted. He rose, also, regulating his volume. “Watching your sister give birth won’t be easy. This isn’t just any baby. This will be your sister’s baby. Our niece or nephew.”
“You don’t understand,” she spit, turning her back to him and crossing her arms.
He came around the table and put his hands on her shoulders. “Try me.”
“I’m working at it, Kyle, really I am.” She turned to face him. “I want us all to get along. I don’t want to dread the labor and delivery floor anymore.” She put a hand flat on his chest. “I feel like I need to coach Paula or she’ll hate me forever.”
“It takes time for things to heal, Ashleigh,” Kyle said softly.
She met his eyes. “I don’t have that kind of time. I won’t be in town for much longer and I need to fix things before then.”
He dropped his hands and walked back to his iced tea. His throat had closed up and he could barely swallow the cold liquid.
There it was. She’d said it out loud. She would be leaving. He always knew that would be the outcome, but her words still came as a crushing blow.
Why had he thought she finally realized how much she had missed by moving away?
“Why don’t you drop in on a Lamaze class at the hospital,” he suggested once he could speak calmly.
“I was going to do some reading about it,” she told him, “but observing a class would be better. That’s a good idea. Thanks.”
Before he could question the wisdom of his idea, he said, “Would you like me to go with you to a class?” He’d keep his distance, thinking of it more as a clinical workshop with a lab partner.
Her eyes widened. “You’d do that?”
He deliberately acted nonchalant. “Maybe you’d feel more comfortable with a partner.” He hoped he sounded casual. He and Ashleigh had never gotten far enough along in their pregnancies to even discuss Lamaze classes.
“I’d like that.” She stepped toward him and put her arms around his torso. Before he could address his lack of judgment, he hugged her back.
When she lifted her head and met his gaze, he knew he never had a chance of getting out before tasting those inviting lips of hers.
He lowered his head and did just that. Her body melted into his as she kissed him in return. He took a step back to brace himself against the kitchen counter, pulling her along with him.
She felt so right in his arms. The taste of her was so familiar, the touch of her skin a sensuous memory as she caressed the back of his neck.
“Is this what you want?” His words came out as a breathless whisper and he wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say. His head said to leave, protect his heart. But his body screamed to take her upstairs. Take her now.
She whispered back, “Surprisingly, yes.”
He began to move them out of the kitchen when she stopped him. “What is it, Ash?” He wasn’t sure he could bear it if she’d changed her mind.
She paused. “Do you have protection?”
“Protection?” He had assumed she was using something. She’d always used birth control pills when they weren’t trying to get pregnant. “But we didn’t use anything—”
The intensity of her gaze laid the truth out in front of him.
He choked on his words. “The other night?”
She shook her head.
He dreaded the next question, terrified to hear the answer. He spoke over the blood pounding in his ears. “Could you be—”
The frightened look on her face was the answer to his unfinished question.
* * *
ASHLEIGH’S HEART RACED WILDLY. She hadn’t planned to tell Kyle about a possible pregnancy, but he’d already put the puzzle pieces together.
He had a firm grip on her upper arms. “When did you figure this out?” His tone was sharp, suddenly accusatory.
Her throat tightened. “The morning after.”
He practically shouted. “The next morning?” His face flushed a bright red. He removed his hands from her arms. “When were you going to tell me?” He glared at her. “Or were you ever going to tell me?”
“Why would I tell you before I knew for sure? It’s just a small possibility at this point.”
“Even so, don’t you think I’d want to know, especially with our history?” he asked.
“Please understand.” She hated that he’d put her on the defensive. “I was trying to keep you from worrying until there was actually something to worry about.”
“And when is that?” he snapped.
“A few more days.”
He stalked out of the kitchen.
“Let me explain.” She followed close behind.
He turned when he reached the front door. “Go ahead, explain.”
“Maybe I should have told you as soon as I realized it,” she began, “but I still think I was right to wait until I knew for sure.” She told him about how she’d gone off the pill and reminded him how they hadn’t needed birth control in years. “I never thought about using protection the other night.” Her concentration had been on how perfectly and naturally they’d come together, but she kept that to herself.
His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you in the habit of having unprotected sex?”
The question stung, but she deserved it. “No, you don’t have to worry. I have never had unprotected sex.”
“It’s just with me that you forgot?”
She bristled at his implication. “This was a two-player game, Kyle. I didn’t see you asking if I was on anything.”
He had the grace to appear sheepish. “You’re right.” He rubbed the back of his neck and tugged at his collar. “I’m as much to blame as you are. I’m sorry I took the news poorly,” he said. “I guess I’m in shock.”
“Join the club,” she said glumly. “Can we sit down and discuss this rationally?”
He put a hand out for her to lead the way into the living room.
“Ho
w are you feeling?” he inquired when they were settled. He was on the sofa and she sat on the upholstered chair at a ninety-degree angle from him. She removed her wedge heels and tucked her legs under her.
“Nervous,” she answered honestly. “I’d like to know one way or the other.”
“Other than that?” He cocked his head and his features tensed. “Hey, wait, was that why Rosy was at your office last night?”
“I wanted to talk it over with her,” Ashleigh explained. “See what she thought my chances were of carrying a baby to term.”
“You talked to her before me?” He shot up from his seat.
“Please calm down.” What an exhausting discussion.
He paced the small living room like a caged animal and finally returned to his seat. “What did she say?” His tone projected controlled fury.
“Ironically, she suggested I talk to you,” Ashleigh said, “because you’ve done all the research.”
“I haven’t kept up with it,” he admitted. “Not since we divorced.”
“I figured you hadn’t,” she said. “Why don’t we take this a step at a time and deal with it when and if I’m pregnant.”
“I never thought I’d hear those words from you ever again.” He ran his hands through his hair. “At least the part about you maybe being pregnant.”
“Me, either,” she said. “But it’s good that you know now.”
She wanted to reach out to him, but he was still hurt and angry. Sharing a burden was supposed to make it easier to bear, but she wasn’t sure it was true in this case.
* * *
AFTER HE’D CALMED DOWN and they discussed their situation in Paula’s living room, Kyle gained a different perspective on his relationship with Ashleigh. They might be having a baby. In a million, trillion years, he never thought that was even a possibility.
Their chances of actually having a child were slight. Plus, they didn’t even know for sure if she was pregnant.
But if she was?
Kyle was determined to find out if any headway had been made in the past two years in the research area having to do with Ashleigh’s combined difficulties.
“What other advice did Rosy give you?” Kyle asked.
“Nothing, really,” Ashleigh said. “First we need to find out if there’s an actual pregnancy.”
“Okay.”
“She also offered to find me a specialist in Richmond.” Ashleigh’s words were so casual that Kyle questioned his interpretation of them.
“Richmond?” The thought was ridiculous. “Why would you go to Richmond? If you’re pregnant, then you’re staying right here.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized how overbearing he sounded.
Ashleigh leaned forward and glared at him. “You can’t dictate where I should live.”
Kyle held up a hand. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Please don’t get upset.” He softened his tone. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
“Go on.”
“I want to be there for you, Ash,” he said. “And I can’t do that if you’re in Richmond.”
Ashleigh was quiet for a long moment. “I know, but I can’t promise I’ll stay here, Kyle. I’ve got a job and a life in Richmond.”
“But you’ve got family and a support system right here in Grand Oaks,” he countered.
He knew he’d found a possible chink in her armor with that statement when she concentrated on her cuticle instead of smacking him with a comeback.
“I’m not sure I can handle being here for another pregnancy,” she finally said in a choked voice. “I know there’s not much chance I’ll carry to term, but I would be reliving the nightmares of the past by staying here.”
He took her hand, rubbed the top of it with his thumb. “Don’t think of it that way. Consider it a second chance. Maybe something has come to light since the last miscarriage.”
She pulled her hand from his. “No!” She looked pointedly at him. “No more experimental treatments. I can’t go through that again.”
“But what if—”
“No!” She rose from her chair and turned to him with her hands on her hips. “Absolutely not.”
Before he could respond, her cell phone rang.
“It’s my conference call,” she told him. “I need to take this.”
“We’ll finish this later.” He saw himself out the front door and headed home to see what he could find on the internet in the way of new treatments. Then he’d also consult with a friend, who was an expert in infertility at Women and Infants Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island.
* * *
TOM HUNG UP the phone in his private office, leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. He was ready to proceed with the purchase of the house he’d toured. He smiled broadly.
An old law school friend recommended the real estate lawyer he’d spoken to. The guy had a good head on his shoulders and turned out to be the author of the current Virginia real estate contract, acutely aware of every nuance in the document.
The notes Tom wrote down during his phone conversation were definitely thorough. Offer full price or more if he thought other offers would be high and the local market could handle it. Include contingencies for a house inspection by a professional of Tom’s choice, as well as an independent appraisal of the property’s value.
He had some work to do since he wasn’t using a real estate agent, but his lawyer promised to be present at closing to review all documents for accuracy.
He pulled out the business card the listing agent had given him and dialed her office number since it was almost a quarter of five in the afternoon.
A few minutes later, after a quick conversation with the agent, he hung up the phone. She would draw up the contract to his specifications and he would stop by her office by six o’clock to review and sign it.
Now to make the call he’d both looked forward to and dreaded. He dialed Theresa’s cell phone from memory, his stomach acid churning while he waited for her to pick up.
“Hello,” she said after the third ring.
Tom cleared his throat. “Hi, Theresa, it’s Tom. How are you?”
“Um, fine,” she said.
“Good,” he replied, wondering why he hadn’t thought this through better. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I figured your students would be gone by now.”
“Yes, I’m at home.” Her tone carried a touch of puzzlement. “Did you want something in particular?”
Exactly like the Theresa he knew. Get to the point. “Actually, yes.” Could she detect his nervousness? “I wondered if you would meet me for a drink.”
There was silence on the other end.
“Theresa?” Had the call been dropped?
“I’m here,” she said quietly.
“We could meet at that restaurant you always liked. The bar is usually pretty quiet. The Grey Goose?”
“Why?” she said.
He swallowed with difficulty. “I don’t know. I want to see how you’re doing. You know, catch up.”
Again, silence.
“You know I’m seeing someone.” A statement, not a question.
“Yes.” Tom was glad she couldn’t see his grin through the phone. “This is just a drink, Theresa. Please?”
No answer.
“I don’t think so,” she finally said. “I have a lot of schoolwork to do for the end of the year. I don’t have time.”
Tom didn’t know what to say next. He had not anticipated that she would turn down his invitation. Kyle said she was using him to make Tom jealous. Didn’t that mean she wanted to get back together? “Can’t you spare even a half hour? I have some news I’d like to share with you.”
“Well, okay,” she said. “Half an hour.”
Tom sho
t up from his desk and silently danced around his office, waving his arms. “That’s great.” He kept his voice steady. “What time works for you?”
They settled on seven o’clock, which worked out perfectly since he was meeting the real estate agent at six.
* * *
ASHLEIGH WAS REVIEWING her notes after her conference call when it sounded like a herd of elephants was entering the house.
“Hi, Aunt Ashleigh,” the boys greeted her, offloading their backpacks right inside the front door.
“Hey, Mark, hey, Ryan,” she said. “Why don’t you take your things to your room? Emma will be here soon and she’ll fix you a snack and take you to soccer practice.” Then she remembered why Kyle had stopped by. “Oh, and Uncle Kyle bought you new soccer shorts, Mark,” she called upstairs.
He came running back down the steps and she tossed the bag to him. “Thanks,” and he was off to change.
The house was quiet again after they departed with Emma so Ashleigh went back to her notes. A few minutes later her cell phone rang. Theresa. “Hello.”
“Hi, Ashleigh, do you have a minute?” Theresa’s excitement came through loud and clear.
“Sure.” Ashleigh put her notes aside.
“You’re never going to believe this. Tom called and he wants to see me.”
“That’s great,” Ashleigh said, “isn’t it?”
“It’s wonderful!” Theresa let out a giddy laugh. “And I played it cool, too. At first I told him no and really made him work for it.”
Ashleigh smiled. “Good for you.”
“We’re meeting for a drink at The Grey Goose tonight. He said he has news to share.” Theresa’s words came quickly. “I even reminded him that I was seeing someone—not that I am—and he still wanted to get together.”
“He must really miss you.” What would Ashleigh have said to Kyle if he had called her some time in the past two years and wanted to see her?
She wasn’t sure.
Theresa made a promise to call Ashleigh later to let her know how it went and they disconnected. She couldn’t help wishing her life was as on track as Theresa’s was right now.