by Mia McAdams
I ball my fists at my sides. Fucking prick. “Are you blackmailing me, Crawley?”
“No.” He shakes his head and laughs. “But I am blackmailing your girlfriend. You won’t need to do a thing.”
With that, Crawley turns to walk away. Rage fills my chest. “Don’t think I won’t have your ass tossed for this, dick head.” I don’t care who the fuck hears me.
Crawley turns to face me, but he keeps walking. “I think you’re smarter than that. Four years gives me a lot of shit to unleash if you decide to do anything stupid.” I’m racking my brain for anything he could possibly have on me. I’m coming up empty, but I’m not in the right state of mind to be making these decisions. All I see is red.
“Say good-bye to your lady friend,” Crawley calls, a mega-watt smile on his face. “She goes home today. And you should probably start checking your messages. You have a long day ahead of you.” He disappears into the next elevator.
I’m trying to control my breathing when the door to the room opens and Lyric’s sleepy head pops out followed by the rest of her body. Her hair is messy, and she’s wearing a white tank top and shorts. Her nipples are at full attention, but for the first time since meeting her, I don’t want to rip off her clothes and make her moan. I want to hold her as tight as I can until I figure out how I’m going to make this right.
“Babe?” she asks. The worry in her expression kills me.
I step toward her and nudge her into the room before closing the door and locking it behind us. I lean against it and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm down before I open my mouth. Her arms snake around my waist, and she nuzzles my chest. I’m sugar in her hot glass of water—I totally dissolve into her the moment we touch. But even though she’s right fucking here, I feel as if she’s slipping from me. It was only a matter of time.
“Wolf, you’re scaring me.”
I grip her face with my palms and look into her eyes. “I fucking love you, Lyric. You know that, right?”
She nods without a sliver of hesitation, and my heart wants to explode. “I love you, too. What’s going on? Is it because of Tony?”
“Have you checked your phone?”
She shakes her head as much as my hold will allow. I’m not ready to let her go. “No, why?”
“That was Crawley. He says we’re in a deep pile of shit. Both of us. There are pictures all over the internet and articles spreading lies, because of Tony. And your company wants you off the tour.”
Her eyes widen and then narrow. “No.”
At first I think she’s saying no, she’s not leaving the tour, and hope balloons in my chest, but then she pulls away and practically runs to her phone, and I’m deflated. As she scans her messages, I decide to do the same. There are literally thousands of missed calls, emails, and social media notifications. All in the span of less than twelve hours. I’m overwhelmed, and I haven’t even opened a single one.
“Oh my God,” Lyric breathes.
I go to her because I’m honestly more concerned for her fate than mine. “What?”
She’s staring open-mouthed at a message as she continues to read. “They’re sending Doug to take over the tour, and they’re sending me a car. Fuck. Wolf, how the hell did this happen?”
“We didn’t do anything wrong. There is absolutely nothing in our contracts that state anything about a relationship, not that it should fucking matter, anyway. This is my tour. My life. And if I want to fuck my road manager, I will.” I’m so pissed, and I know the words I’m spewing aren’t kind. I’m not even sure if I've finished a solid thought before I’m rambling off another. “It’s Crawley. All fucking Crawley. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who took the pictures and leaked them.”
Lyric looks at me, and her eyes are full of doubt and wishful thinking. “No. I know he’s a prick, but why would he want to hurt us like that? He’s ecstatic about the songs.”
With a sigh, I bow my head. “That’s the other thing. Crawley says if you don’t leave, he’ll make sure everyone knows the songs are yours.”
Lyric’s eyes go wide, and she jumps up in a panic. “He can’t do that! I signed those songs over to you. You, Crawley, and the lawyers are the only ones who know.”
“He pointed out that there was no agreement to keep your involvement with the songs a secret. But that’s the only hold he has on us, babe. Who cares if people know you wrote them? You still signed them over. It’s not like you’ll be flooded with fame and fortune because of it.”
Her expression falls, and for a moment she looks like she might cry, but then she immediately hardens and turns to me. “It’s completely out of the question. No one can know about the lyrics, Wolf. That was the deal when this all started.”
Now I’m starting to get pissed. How can she let some silly song lyrics keep us apart? “You’d rather leave the tour than let people know you wrote some songs? Lyric, you have to know how ridiculous that sounds.”
“Ridiculous?” She's fuming. “You think my secrets are ridiculous? If you remember correctly, you stole my secrets, and now I’m getting kicked off a tour because of what you took from me.”
“What?” I don’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s pissed at me? Is she even listening to herself? “You mean the secrets you tossed in the trash? Meant that much to you, huh?”
I don’t know why I’m provoking her, or why we’re arguing about the lyrics. We’re both insanely heated and borderline irrational. We agreed in the beginning it would all be a secret, and I fully intended to respect her wishes. But the thought of her leaving the tour crushes me. Whatever feelings we’ve built up toward each other are about to blow up in our faces, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Without another word, Lyric grabs her overnight bag and begins packing. “What are you doing?” She can’t fucking leave.
“What does it look like?” She doesn’t even look at me.
“Babe, stop.” I reach for her, but she slaps my hand away.
“I need to pack.”
I sink onto the bed, my chest tightening until I have to focus on breathing. I watch as she flies around the room, gathering her things and shoving them into her bag. I’m racking my brain for anything I can say or do to help this fucked-up situation. When it looks like she’s gathered everything, I think she might stop and say something to me. But when she heads straight for the door instead, I shake off my fog and reach the door before she can open it. I slam my hands on either side of her head until she turns around to face me.
“Is that what I deserve? You’re going to walk out the door without so much as a good-bye?”
Her eyes spit fire back at me. I haven’t seen this look on her face since the night she walked in on Jenn and me. It weakens me. “Good-bye,” she says, but it’s not as cold as her expression is. I hear her voice crack. I know she’s reacting to the situation. This can’t be a reflection of our time together, our connection.
“You don’t need to leave. We can figure this out together.”
Lyric turns away. “It doesn’t sound like I have a choice. It’s either you or my ridiculous secrets. I think I’ll keep my secrets, thank you very much.”
Her words hurt like fuck, but they’re also revealing. There’s something she’s not telling me. Before, when she was upset about people knowing she wrote those songs, it seemed like she just didn’t want the attention or the money. Now, I think her reasons run deeper than that, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get to the bottom of it.
“I’m going to talk to Crawley. I’ll toss him if I have to. I don’t trust him after this. If you want to leave and work things out at the office, then go. I’ll fix the PR mess, and then you can come back. If you can’t come back as my road manager, then maybe you can take a break and travel with me.”
Her eyes narrow. “You mean be your groupie?”
“No, Lyric. Fuck.” Why is she talking like this? “I mean be my girlfriend. Work doesn’t have to get in the way anymore. I just want you here with me.”r />
“And what about my job, Wolf? I can’t just give up my life because I met a hot rock star with a new outlook on life. This was never supposed to be anything more than a one-night thing, and you know it. We took it too far, and now look at us.”
I didn’t realize Lyric could turn her feistiness on me and sting me with her words. But there she goes. Her words are her weapons, and I’ve lost count of how many times she’s stabbed me. All I know is that it fucking hurts.
I move away from her and hold my hands up, not liking the way this is ending one bit, but I won’t let anyone speak to me like that. “You know what? You go take care of you. Keep your lyrics locked away. Do whatever you need, but don’t you dare play the victim card here. I’m asking you to stay. To be with me. To figure this out with me. If that’s not what you want, too, then get the fuck out.”
Her gasp is the last thing I hear before the door opens and slams shut behind her, effectively shredding my heart.
Fuck love.
Never a-fucking-gain.
Lyric
Doug meets me in the hotel lobby with a sympathetic look. If anyone gets life on the road and mixing business with pleasure, it’s him. He’s one of the most successful tour directors in the business, and he’s not only married to one of his ex-clients, he’s gay. He knows how the drama of the business can either embrace you or chew you up and spit you out. He can see that I’ve been gnawed on. Still, his sympathy doesn’t help my situation. I’ve read through about a dozen entertainment news articles shared all over social media about my infidelity to Tony. My infidelity. It makes me sick.
Doug wraps his arms around me, and it warms my heart. I’m not surprised by his affection. He’s has always been fatherly toward me, less so now that I’m an adult, but at times like this, the comfort is appreciated. “Let’s go grab a drink.”
I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye. “It’s nine in the morning.”
He winks. “As good a time as any. Come. We only have an hour.”
He leads me to the hotel bar and orders us drinks and some food before turning to me with a sigh. “How are you holding up?”
I shrug. “I woke up to a million messages telling me I’m an asshole for cheating on Tony with Wolf and that I’m off the tour. Doug, the media can say whatever they want about me. I don’t care. But they should know that Tony and I have been over for a while now. And Wolf—I think I really fucked things up with him. My career too.” I bury my face in my hands. “If this is the end of my career, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Are you and Wolf really a thing?”
His question doesn’t surprise me. I guess I’ll be asked this a lot. I nod. “It surprised me too.”
“That’s new for Wolf, but I’m not surprised he fell for you.” I want to smile at the compliment, but my heart still hurts. “I guess you knew it wasn’t going to last with the way his reputation precedes him.”
I can’t agree with Doug on this one. I’ve gotten to know Wolf pretty damn well, and he’s done nothing but prove everyone wrong. He’s never once hurt me—except for today when he called my secrets ridiculous. My secrets being my lyrics. I know it wasn’t his intention, and in his defense, I haven’t exactly confessed my reasons for keeping my lyrics private. I wasn’t ready to go there. Even after he told me about his parents . . . it just wasn’t the right time.
“I don’t believe rumors anymore.”
“Really?” Doug asks, but I can tell he’s reading in between the lines. “Okay, then, care to tell me who the mystery songwriter is? This ‘Dangerous Heart’ song is a sensation, and it hasn’t even been recorded yet.”
My face heats. Doug is one of the few people who knows about my songs. “It’s a mystery for a reason.”
He sucks in a breath. “Holy shit, Lyric. I’m right. Your dad would be so proud.”
“The point of the mystery,” I say dryly.
He sighs. “Lyric, you’ve got to let it go, don’t you think? This grudge you’re holding against your parents. It’s only hurting you. Maybe they deserve to suffer for everything they’ve put you through, but you deserve to be happy.”
“I was happy until Tony showed up and I got kicked off the tour.”
“This isn’t about one tour. This is about your life and understanding your self-worth. You had a unique situation growing up; it wasn’t the best—I get that. You’ve done pretty damn well for yourself despite it all, and that’s something to be proud of. But you’re holding yourself back. Settling on these one-off road jobs for what? To get away from your problems? They’re never going to go away. Why don’t you take this time for yourself? Deal with the heavy shit and then come back?”
“Come back on tour?”
He shrugs. “Maybe after you deal with all of this, you’ll have a better idea of what you want for yourself. I can tell you one thing—suppressing your songwriting is a mistake. A huge mistake.”
“I’m not suppressing it,” I say. “I’m just hiding it. I don’t need that kind of attention on myself.”
Doug groans. “Hiding it is suppressing it. Writing for yourself may be healing, but that kind of talent should be shared with the world. Shit, Lyric. You don’t see it, do you? What you can do with words?”
“You sound like my father. Doug, really. I get what you’re doing, but right now, all I can think about is what the fuck I’m going to do once I leave this tour.” And how much I’m going to miss Wolf.
Doug’s hand reaches the back of my neck and squeezes. “Okay. I’ll let up on you. Just go talk to the executives. I don’t think your career is over unless you want it to be. I was only trying to convince you that maybe this was all for the best. Sometimes you need hurdles like this, the kind that come out of nowhere and make you stumble. Because when you get back up you have a chance to dust yourself off and change direction. But it’s your life, and the path you choose is your choice to make.”
My car is waiting for me when Doug and I finish breakfast. I’m buzzing from the alcohol, too, which is probably a good thing, because it helps when I see the buses pulled up to the side of the hotel. Band and crew are already stepping onto them. I try not to pay attention to who is getting on, afraid to make eye contact with one person in particular. And then a warm body rushes past me and my heart stops. I know it’s Wolf by the smell of his aftershave and the electricity that moves with him. When he continues walking without a word to me, my heart cracks a little. I know the silence is my doing. This time, I have no one to blame but myself.
I want to reach out to him, to run after him when he nears Bus #1. I want to jump on it with him and say to hell with my career. He deserves an apology, at least. An explanation. He’s earned so much more than I’m giving him right now. I know that getting in the company car without talking to him could be the absolute end of any communication between us from here on out. My throat constricts at the thought. My chest is heavy, making breathing the most difficult fucking thing in the world.
“Do you want to say good-bye?” Doug asks.
I take a step toward the bus, my eyes never leaving Wolf’s back, even when he steps onto the bus. My eyes follow the faint outline of his body as he walks straight down the narrow passageway toward his room. And then I stop myself and swallow, knowing there’s too much damage to try to undo right now. There are no promises that can possibly make anything better.
I shake my head and face Doug, running a finger below my eye to catch a falling teardrop. “Oh, sweetie.” Doug pulls me in and holds me for a minute, but it only makes the tears fall harder. “I’ll call you in a few days, okay? Everything will be okay.”
With a final nod, I push my shoulders back and slide into the backseat of the car. My eyes return to the rear windows of the bus, hoping to catch another glimpse of Wolf. At this point it’s hard to make anything out through the tinted windows, but I know he’s there. I know he’s already shredding every last thought of me, because while I came on this tour to run from one dangerous heart, I smacked right
into another, and then I became my own dangerous heart in the process.
Next in the Lyric & Wolf Series . . . COMING SOON! Keep reading for more.
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Next in the Lyric & Wolf Rock Star Romance Series
A Rock Star Romance #2
A Rock Star Romance #2
Lyric Cassidy is off the tour, lost as to what her next career move will be, and certain that she’ll never love again after Wolf. All because of a social media scandal that left her with no choice but to pack up and face the consequences. When she learns that the fate of her career is in her hands, she has a difficult decision to make. Step back on the tour bus with Wolf and deal with the mess she left behind, or end her contract early and lose her job at Perform Live?
Wolf’s shattered heart finds no resolve in learning that Lyric’s chosen to come back to the tour. She shouldn’t have left to begin with. His damaged heart is conflicted with wants and needs, and he struggles to remember who Wolf was before Lyric. That’s what he needs to become again. Now that Lyric will be back on tour, sleeping on a separate tour bus, and spending less time with the band, maybe his heart will be safe.
Or maybe there’s no home for the damaged.
Mia McAdams, Romance Author of Dangerous Hearts (Book 1 of 3 in the Lyric & Wolf Rock Star Romance series) is known for concocting recipes for heart pounding romance, suspenseful drama, and unforeseeable twists. Music has always been a huge part of her life. She’s forever had a thing for rocker dudes, as long as they sported really cool hair, and she may have dated a pop star once upon a time (wink).