by Mandy Baxter
Luke’s expression softened and he sat down in a nearby wing chair as though his legs couldn’t support his weight for another second. His gaze drilled into her, so full of honesty that it stole her breath. “I’m drowning, Kayleigh. I need you to anchor me.”
The desperation in his voice tore her composure to shreds. “I can’t be that for you, Luke.” He’d reduced her importance to that of a security blanket. Something familiar and comforting to help him weather whatever storm he’d found himself in the eye of. “I can’t let you in again just so you can crush me after you get over this hump.”
“I still love you.”
The words eviscerated her. Shredded every ounce of tissue in her body until all that was left was raw nerves and searing pain. “You have no right to show up on my doorstep after eight years of silence and say those words to me. None.”
Luke pushed himself forcefully from the chair. A trickle of fear spiked through Kayleigh’s bloodstream causing her heart to race and her breath to quicken. “And you have no right to tell me what to feel or what time frame I’m allowed to feel it in.”
Kayleigh wasn’t sure what was worse: his ridiculous proclamation of love, or her own foolish desire to want it to be true. “You don’t even know me anymore, Luke! How can you possibly love me?”
“I know you.” His anger was replaced by the trademark Blackwell self-confidence that piqued female interest throughout the county. Hell, the world. In a few quick steps, he’d crossed the living room and stood before her. Kayleigh slid from the arm of the couch down onto the sofa, her brain too full of Luke to function properly and her mouth too damned dry to form a single word.
He braced a heavily muscled arm on the back of the couch behind her and the other on the rest beside her. Kayleigh’s breath stalled as he leaned down, his mouth mere inches from hers. If she leaned in she’d get to kiss those full lips again …
“We’re a force of nature when we’re together. Unmovable. Unstoppable. Fierce and frenetic. You know it as well as I do. Get used to seeing me around, baby. I ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.”
He put his lips to her forehead. Such a simple, innocent kiss compared to what they’d done not thirty minutes ago. There wasn’t an ounce of guile in his expression as his gaze bore into hers. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”
And as easily as he’d breezed through her front door, he took himself back out, closing it silently behind him. Kayleigh released the breath she’d been holding and it vibrated through her in microscopic tremors that tightened her abdomen. He was right. She couldn’t stay away from him any more than she could stop the sun from rising. Her body craved his on a primal level.
Get used to seeing me around … Luke Blackwell was nothing if not stubborn. When he set his sights on something he got it. She’d given him her body easily enough tonight. Would she be able to resist him a second time? Or would she give him the opportunity to break her heart all over again?
FIVE
Luke slumped against the wall in the guest bedroom, his guitar cradled in his lap. He hadn’t slept at all after leaving Kayleigh’s house last night. Too keyed up for rest and much too wound up to just toss one off and call it a night. Going off into his own goddamned fist sounded about as appealing as getting a blowjob from a hammerhead shark. Nothing short of Kayleigh’s tight, wet pussy wrapped around his cock would satisfy him. The night hadn’t been a total loss, though. He hadn’t experienced such a surge of creativity in a long goddamned time. The words flowed, the music trickled from his fingers as though on its own. He had one song completely composed and another nearly finished. All thanks to Kayleigh.
Who knew a serious case of blue balls was the key to great writing?
Hell, there was no use kidding himself at this point. The inspiration that seized him had nothing to do with the need to get off. If that had been the case, he could have marched on down to the bistro and fucked the glossy-mouthed cashier senseless. What he’d gotten from Kayleigh last night was a hell of a lot deeper than a quick orgasm. And he wanted more.
“Lara says to tell you that you’re never allowed to leave.” Ryder poked his head in the doorway and leaned against the jamb.
Luke didn’t look up from his guitar, just kept strumming. “Why’s that?”
“Apparently, she enjoys being serenaded first thing in the morning. I, on the other hand, don’t like it quite as much.”
Luke snorted. He’d learned at an early age that the best way to deflect his classmates’ scorn was to impress them into silence. Girls had especially found his musical abilities swoon-worthy. Kayleigh hadn’t cared about any of that, though. She’d been his friend long before he’d ever picked up a guitar. And after they’d started dating, she’d made it clear that she loved him for himself and not because of his talent. Luke stopped strumming and grabbed his pencil, rearranging the hook and changing the chord to A minor. “I can get a room at the hotel if you want.”
“Mom would have my ass if you did,” Ryder remarked with a laugh. “Besides, I’m just giving you shit. I don’t suppose this sudden surge of inspiration has anything to do with where you went after dinner last night?”
“Maybe.” Not that it would take an investigative genius to figure out where he’d gone, but he didn’t feel like discussing Kayleigh with Ryder—or anyone else—right now.
“You know I’ve got your back, Luke, but…”
Oh great. After their dad had left, Ryder had taken up the role as head of the household. A position he’d taken seriously. You’d think he was decades older than Luke, not just a few years, with his father-knows-best attitude. “I don’t need a lecture, Ryder. My shit is straight.”
“Is it?” Ryder pinned him with a knowing gaze. “Because if you ask me, your shit is as far from straight as it can get.”
Why did he have to be so goddamned parental? “I know what I’m doing.”
“You think you do. And that’s what I’m worried about.”
Luke stopped mid-strum and covered the strings with his palm, creating an abrupt halt to the melody he’d been working on. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Is this meltdown you’re having worth hurting her again? Spencer Jackson was going to propose to her. Did you know that?”
Spencer Jackson? Seriously? That was the douchebag Kayleigh had been seeing? The dude had two first names for Christ’s sake. Good riddance. “What does that have to do with me?”
“According to the local gossip, she interrupted him right in the middle of it last night to tell him that you were back in town.”
Despite his effort, Luke could do nothing to hide the self-satisfied smirk that crept onto his face. He began to strum again and shut his eyes, picturing Kayleigh, soft and willing in his arms, her breath mingling with his as he swallowed her impassioned cries.
“Luke.”
Aaannndd … there it was. The stern, you’d-better-listen-to-me voice that Ryder had perfected over the years. He stopped playing and looked at his brother, his jaw clamped down tight.
“I get that you needed time away to get your head on straight. But I’m warning you, don’t drag her down with you.”
“Duly noted.”
Luke returned to his guitar in earnest, effectively blocking his brother out. Ryder let out a long sigh and closed the door, leaving Luke to his thoughts. He didn’t want to drag Kayleigh anywhere but right on top of his stiff cock. And hurting her was the last thing on his mind. He simply needed a little bit of clarity and for some damned reason, the only place he’d ever been able to find it was with her.
Fucking Ryder.
Guilt twisted Luke’s gut, rose in his throat like bile, and choked the air from his lungs. Had he really hurt Kayleigh’s chance at happiness by inserting himself back into her life? Sure, they had history, but if she could so easily cast Spencer Douche-Canoe Jackson to the curb, then she hadn’t been truly happy with the loser. Right?
He penciled in a revision to the bridge and played i
t over again. Much better. Kayleigh could never have been happy with a guy like Spencer. The dude had no soul. She deserved to be with a man who understood her. Who recognized her dark moods and could pull her out of them. A guy who realized that her supposed scatterbrain wasn’t a result of flakiness, but rather a quick, clever mind that was always thinking one step ahead. What Kayleigh needed was a man like …
Him.
There were worse choices. Luke had money. A decent career. A trust fund that guaranteed security. He could make her come in thirty seconds flat with the right motivation. What was so wrong with him?
Ryder seemed to think he was damaged goods or some shit. Jase had always been the “good” brother. The kind, conscientious one. The kid with good grades and an even more pristine reputation. He never broke hearts or stepped a toe out of line. Never got caught with a bottle of peppermint schnapps at school. Didn’t walk out on people who counted on him.
You’re a first-class fuck-up, dude. His own brother didn’t think he was good enough for Kayleigh. Didn’t he deserve to be happy, though? Ryder had Lara, and Jase had hooked up with a hot little chef who rocked his world. Didn’t Luke deserve that, too?
The doorbell rang, the sound pinging around in his brain like a pinball against the bumpers. Thanks to Ryder’s visit, Luke’s mood had soured past the point of salvation. There was no way he’d be able to work now and the walls of the bedroom were starting to close in on him. Maybe he’d saddle up one of the horses and go for a ride to clear his head. He hadn’t done anything like that in a long time.
From the top of the stairs, the sound of a woman’s voice caught Luke’s undivided attention. It latched onto his heart with sharp hooks, digging deep until he felt the bite. What was Kayleigh doing here? His feet moved of their own accord, taking him down Ryder’s handcrafted staircase. He stopped short of the living room and leaned against the archway, careful to stay out of sight.
“Can’t you make him leave, Ryder?”
Luke’s stomach plummeted to the soles of his feet, taking his heart with it. Kayleigh didn’t want him beneath her, beside her, or anywhere near her.
She wanted him gone.
* * *
Ryder’s lips pursed as he regarded Kayleigh with an emotionless stare. The eldest Blackwell was steel under pressure, never revealing his hand. Not much had changed since they were kids. He was still as intimidating now as he’d been when she was fourteen.
“This is his home, Kayleigh, and he hasn’t been back for so much as a visit since he left. I’m not kicking him to the curb. Sorry.”
She should have known that Ryder would side with his brother. What in the hell was she thinking coming here? “You’re right. I’m the one who should be sorry for suggesting it. It’s just … seeing him again. It’s too much. You know?”
Ryder’s eyes bored through her, the exact whiskey brown of Luke’s. “Just because he’s in town doesn’t mean you have to see him.”
True. But when he showed up on her doorstep looking like sex on a freaking stick, what was she supposed to do? “I’m twenty-six-years old. You’d think I could be an adult.” She gave a rueful laugh. “But there’s something about your brother that turns me into an irresponsible kid. One that can’t make a mature decision to save her life.”
“Is this about Spencer?”
Kayleigh groaned. “You know about Spencer?”
Ryder laughed. “Everyone knows about Spencer. Did you forget what living in a fishbowl is like?”
Their tiny suburb might as well have been freaking Mayberry. Not much had changed in a decade. People still talked. Gossip flowed like a river in spring. “We’d only been dating for a couple of months. Seriously, I have no idea what Spencer was thinking! I would have turned him down either way. I was—Luke just—God, it’s like my brain short-circuits when he’s within a five-mile radius of me.”
Ryder’s brow furrowed and a flush rose to Kayleigh’s cheeks. She was standing here talking to Luke’s older brother like he was her therapist or something! Good Lord, they were friends, but this had to cross some sort of line. “I’m sorry, Ryder. This really isn’t anything you should have to worry about and I’m just standing here blathering like an idiot. I shouldn’t have wasted your time. This is my problem. I’ll deal with it on my own.”
Kayleigh spun on a heel and hightailed it for the foyer. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough and her stomach was churning and bucking like the thirty-year-old washing machine in her basement. The cherry on top of this miserable morning would be to puke all over Ryder’s fancy hardwood floors.
“Oh shit!” Her face met a solid wall of muscle that knocked her off balance. Strong arms reached out to steady her and her previous mortification rose to new heights as she looked up to find Luke staring down at her, his expression pinched.
She’d assumed Luke would be staying with Ryder and she’d come anyway. But hadn’t that been the point? Some small part of her had hoped she’d see him.
His big body crowded her, but Kayleigh stood her ground. She refused to let Luke think he had any effect on her. His expression further darkened and a thrill of anticipation shot through her. He leaned down over her head and his deep, heady words were for her alone. “Back for more? I laid in bed, wide awake all night. The smell of you on my fingers drove me fucking crazy. I’m ready for round two.”
He was trying to shock her, or hell, maybe to embarrass her. To make her pay for throwing him out last night. Well, too damned bad, buddy. “I told Ryder I wanted you to leave town. Unfortunately for me, he likes having you around.” She looked down at his hands still wrapped around her upper arms and he let go, cupping the back of his neck with one large palm. “Rejection hurts like a bitch, doesn’t it?”
His whiskey gaze hardened but he kept his cocky smile intact. “I don’t mind a little pain.” Kayleigh’s eyes met his and a flash of heat licked up her spine. “As long as you promise to follow it up with pleasure.”
So much for standing strong against Luke’s advances. When he talked to her like that, his words smoldering with heat and innuendo, her knees went weak. He leaned back and her body followed, metal drawn to a magnet. How could she possibly keep her distance when everything inside of her screamed to get closer? An uncomfortable silence descended and Kayleigh’s throat went bone dry. “I … um, I was just leaving.”
“Let’s go for a ride.”
She’d just told him that she wanted him to leave town forever and still he was coming on to her? The man was relentless. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
His eyes sparked with mischief, reminding her of the Luke of her childhood. “What’s the matter? Worried you’ve lost your touch in your old age? Or maybe that you can’t keep your hands off of me?”
Kayleigh snorted. As far as keeping her hands off of him went … any time spent with Luke would be a test to her restraint. “Don’t flatter yourself, Lucifer. You’re not that irresistible.” World’s biggest lie, right there. But his ego didn’t need any more stroking.
“Hey, it’s not my mind that’s in the gutter, honey. I was talking about horses. But if you’d prefer to mount up, I’m sure I could—”
“If I’m not mistaken, cattle and horse thievery is still frowned upon around here. I doubt Ryder would appreciate us taking off with any of his stock,” she interrupted with a nervous laugh. Anything to keep him from finishing that sentence.
Luke reached out and took her hand in his. So gentle. So unlike the cocky bravado he readily displayed. It wasn’t that his gentleness was better, just … different. Tentative. His touch was the plea that pride refused to allow him to speak. He didn’t want her to leave. And despite her earlier words to Ryder, Kayleigh wasn’t sure she wanted to leave, either.
“Ryder doesn’t own every horse on this ranch. Come on, do you have something better to do this morning? Maybe a stack of macaroni art that needs to be graded?”
A challenging brow arched over one eye and Kayleigh couldn’t help but laugh. “I can
spare a couple of hours to help you relearn how to ride. L.A. has probably brainwashed every ounce of cowboy out of you.”
He headed for the door and Kayleigh went after him as though she had no other choice. Luke had always had a magnetic pull that was too strong to fight. “There are a lot of things L.A. hasn’t managed to flush out of my system.” She shivered at the dark tenor of his voice and the way his eyes held hers when he turned to hold the door open for her. He leaned in over the top of her head and took a deep breath. Kayleigh’s eyelids fluttered as he released it. “Riding is one of them.”
So much for getting him out of town. At the rate they were going, Luke would be sticking around for good.
And if Luke decided to stay, Kayleigh knew that it would surely ruin them both.
SIX
Luke’s bravado had definitely gotten the better of him. He owned three of the ranch’s stock horses, but it had been almost a decade since he’d saddled up and it showed. His ass was killing him and Lucifer—Ryder’s idea of a joke—was living up to his name, making the trip to the back forty as hard on Luke as possible. Damned gelding nearly threw him after coming to a dead stop at the bottom of the knoll. It had given Kayleigh something to laugh about, though, so he’d let the bastard’s ornery streak slide for now.
It might have been stupid to press his luck with her, especially after hearing her beg Ryder to get him out of town. Short of stripping her naked and licking her from head to toe right there in the foyer, he’d all but dared her to look him in the eye and tell him that she didn’t want him. And the fact that she hadn’t further proved that she couldn’t stay away from him any more than he could from her. He wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet. Not as long as there was still this spark of electricity between them.
Kayleigh brought her mare to a stop near a narrow stream that ran through the pasture. Short, brilliant green spring grass had begun to poke up through the dry white stubble of last season’s hay. In L.A. the seasons weren’t quite so marked. Nothing poked up through the sidewalks to indicate the coming of spring. Luke missed the rolling open fields and quiet solitude. Kayleigh hopped down from her mount and let the mare graze while she walked a few yards to the north and sat down under a giant oak tree, its newly sprouted leaves rustling in the light breeze.