by Mandy Baxter
“Promise me, Luke.” She put a staying hand on his left pec where her name was inked permanently into his skin. “That you haven’t been with anyone else like this. Otherwise…”
“I promise. I’ve never been like this with anyone but you.” Most of Luke’s many hookups had been one-nighters. Anonymous fucks that meant nothing to him. And he never mixed alcohol and sex because it opened the door for mistakes he couldn’t afford to make. Kayleigh was the only woman he’d ever made love to. And the only one he’d been irresponsible enough not to wear protection with.
He hadn’t wanted anything to separate their bodies then, and he didn’t want anything to separate them now.
Kayleigh reached for him, her eyes hooded. Luke slid the head of his cock through her wet folds and a shiver raced down his spine. She bucked from the contact and a quiet whimper escaped her. Her mouth parted and Luke dragged his shaft over her clit once again, his eyes glued to her face as he gauged her response.
She was perfection.
“Luke.” She kept her eyes on his as he continued to tease her. “Ooooh. God. That feels so good.”
Yeah it did. But he wanted more than just a simple tease. He needed all of her. With gentle care he eased himself in, his jaw welded shut as he resisted the urge to pound into her. Impatience had nothing on Luke and he shook with restraint, sliding into her tight slick heat, a groan lodged in his throat. Arms braced on either side of her, he stared down at the woman he’d loved for most of his life.
“I lo—”
“Don’t say it, Luke.” Instead of letting him tell her how he felt, Kayleigh rose up and seized his mouth in a kiss. His arms bent at the elbows as he lowered his weight on her, wrapping her tight in his embrace as he thrust home.
“Fuck.” The word grated in his throat as he pulled out to the tip before driving back in. “Baby, you’re so tight. So fucking wet.” She didn’t want to hear his tender words, and so he held them back until his chest burned from the backup.
He fucked her slowly, enjoying the slide of his flesh on hers, the way her pussy held him tight. Kayleigh’s nails bit into his back and she locked her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his ass. “Harder, Luke. Faster.”
Lust battled with anger as she took one more step at erecting an emotional wall between them. Did she want an emotionless fuck from him? Hard and fast. No loving words spoken softly between them, no chance of being hurt.
Fine. If that’s what she wanted, that’s what he’d give her. “You want to be fucked hard? Tell me, Kayleigh.”
“Yes.” She dug her nails in deeper, the exquisite bite of pain causing his sac to tighten. “Do it.”
He hitched her hips up higher, taking her ass in his palms. His first forceful thrust coaxed a low moan of pleasure from Kayleigh’s throat. On the second, she cried out as her back bowed off the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut, but Luke refused to let her block him out completely. He wound the length of her hair in his fist and gave a little tug at the base of her neck. “Look at me, Kayleigh.”
She refused. Luke pulled out to his engorged head and fucked into her harder. Her fingers curled around his shoulders and she bit down on her bottom lip to quiet the sound of her pleasure. “Look at me.” Another quick, deep thrust and she gasped. “Look at me.”
Luke pulled out and buried his cock as deep as it would go. Kayleigh’s eyes fluttered open as though she fought against her own body for control. He lowered his mouth to hers in a desperate, frenzied kiss as he continued to fuck her. The taste of her mouth intoxicated him. Her scent sent his head to spinning. Harder and faster, his ass clenched on each drive home. When he pulled away, her eyes were wide and smoldering with desire. Her lips swollen from his kisses and her cheeks flushed.
“Don’t stop, Luke,” she said through panting breaths. “God, don’t stop.”
* * *
The moments of intimacy they’d shared scared the shit out of Kayleigh and she needed to put distance between them now before she irrevocably lost her heart to Luke Blackwell once and for all.
His heartfelt words, unabashed honesty, and untamed passion hadn’t changed, nor had Kayleigh’s own recklessness when it came to him. She shouldn’t have been so cavalier in regards to sex with him. She was on the pill, but that was no excuse for being careless. Never once since the day she’d met him had she doubted his honesty, though. He’d never lie to her and she’d been so caught up in the moment. Craved that skin-to-skin closeness that they’d once shared. There was little about Luke that was different from the boy who’d been her first love. Hell, her only love. She couldn’t deal with the emotions he was reawakening in her. So instead of letting him make love to her the way he’d wanted, Kayleigh opted to be treated like a stranger. One of his random hookups.
How could something that felt so damned good, hurt her so badly?
Luke’s firm grip on her was heaven. The heat in his gaze caused her to break out in a sweat that cooled her skin when it met the crisp spring air. His breath sawing in and out of his chest with every hard thrust of his hips sent a riot of butterflies swirling in her stomach. A creature created with the sole purpose of pleasuring a woman, it would be a triumph to belong to a man like Luke. To own him, heart and soul.
Stop.
Kayleigh forced her mind to still and instead shifted her focus to her body. His gaze didn’t break with hers and she allowed herself to drift. To lose herself to sensation and every detail of Luke’s face. He filled her completely, their bodies fitting together as though they were made to be joined. Two pieces of a puzzle locked together to complete the picture.
Her back arched as he pulled out and slid the length of his shaft against her clit. She sucked in a gasp at the intense pleasure and cried out when he once again impaled her on the length of his cock. He bared his teeth with each roll of his hips, a feral expression that squared his jaw and sharpened the angles of his face.
“Is this what you want, Kayleigh?” His body slapped against hers with the force of his thrust and she cried out. “Tell me.”
“Yes!” She couldn’t stop the word from leaving her lips in a desperate shout. “Fuck me.” She couldn’t love him. Couldn’t let him love her. They’d destroy each other if either one of them made a single sacrifice for the other.
It was better this way. They could enjoy each other’s bodies, and let that be enough. He increased his pace, giving her exactly what she wanted. His expression fierce, full of fire and passion, Kayleigh focused on his face and her own pleasure building and coiling low in her core.
So close. His face blurred out of focus as Kayleigh looked up at the light filtering through the leaves, bathing him in a halo of gold. It set fire to his tawny locks, a little too long and shaggy, damp with sweat. She drew a deep breath into her lungs and held it there, her jaw clamped down as the pleasure mounted to an almost unbearable level. Her clit ached and her pussy clenched around him, drawing him even deeper inside of her. A low throb in her core grew to thundering intensity and when she came it shattered her completely.
“Luke!” His name echoed on a desperate shout. She cleaved to him, rising up from the ground as he pounded unmercifully into her. Wave after powerful wave of sensation crested over her and her throat became raw, her voice ragged from her cries.
His mouth covered hers and he kissed her as hard as he was fucking her, swallowing every whimper of sound. Her body jolted from the force of his thrusts and his body went rigid above hers, every inch of him sculpted marble. His grip on the back of her neck tightened and his steady rhythm broke.
His mouth left hers and came to rest at her ear. “Oh, god, Kayleigh.” The emotion in his voice shattered her again, this time breaking her heart into myriad shards that pierced her soul. He pulled out with a quick jerk of his hips and jet after jet of delicious warmth striped her stomach as he came. A low moan vibrated in his chest and Kayleigh shuddered as the remnants of her own orgasm rippled through her, waves on a pond that had yet to subside.
B
efore he left again, Kayleigh knew that Luke would destroy her. And the scary part of that realization was that she was going to let him.
For long moments, Luke lay still, cradling Kayleigh in his arms, his face buried in the crook of her neck. His breath warmed her skin and she shivered when the breeze picked up again, so cool in contrast to Luke’s heat.
“When I left here, I thought I had nothing,” he murmured against her skin. “And now that I have everything, I’ve realized that the only thing I ever needed was right here all along.”
Tears sprang to Kayleigh’s eyes, but she held them at bay. Why couldn’t he have had this epiphany eight years ago? There was no use lamenting their shitty timing, though. All that mattered was this moment. The chance to be with him one more time before he came to his senses and left her behind again.
“We should get back to the house. It looks like a storm might be moving in.” She couldn’t acknowledge his words. Not when the pain of losing him all over again would crush her so completely.
Luke sighed into her hair, laid his lips to her temple in the gentlest of kisses. “All right. I’ll take you back.”
EIGHT
Luke couldn’t remember a time in the past eight years that he’d been so at peace. He was probably rocking a goofy, pussy perma-grin, but he didn’t give a single shit. Nothing else mattered with Kayleigh in his arms. The world could burn around them and he wouldn’t even notice.
They’d tied Tallulah to Lucifer’s saddle and Kayleigh rode in front of Luke, her back molded to his chest. The horse knew his way back to the stable and Luke let the reins out loose. Lucifer didn’t seem any more anxious than Luke to go home. He meandered through the pastures at an easy gait as though sensing Luke’s need for just a few more minutes with her. He didn’t want to face the reality of the situation. No matter how much he wanted to, Luke knew he couldn’t stay there. The life and problems he’d left behind in L.A. hadn’t been put to bed quite yet.
Fucking hell, he was a bastard. And of course, Kayleigh knew it. Why else had she erected an emotional wall between them? But the thought of just turning his back on her and leaving her a second time tied his stomach into an unyielding knot. There was so much more he wanted to do with his career and he couldn’t do it in their sleepy Texas suburb. He wanted a life and successes apart from Ryder and the family’s fortune. He had a hell of a lot more to prove. There were plenty of schools in California. Why couldn’t she come with him? Get a job at some swanky private school or a local public elementary. Hell, she wouldn’t even have to work at all if she didn’t want to. He had more money than he knew what to do with. She could come on tour with the band, see the world. They could be together all the time. As far as he could tell nothing was keeping her in Texas. Her parents weren’t there and she didn’t have any brothers or sisters to worry about. Why the hell couldn’t she leave with him?
Because she doesn’t want the sort of life you’d give her, dipshit.
Even as kids it had been a bone of contention between them. The only one, in fact. He wanted more than to work on the family’s ranch and she craved familiarity. They were the only thing each other needed and at the same time, not enough. But now that he’d come home to her, Luke didn’t think he could live without her. No, he refused to live without her.
“Do you remember the time you tried to get Jase to trade places with you so you wouldn’t have to take the history final?”
Luke smiled at the memory. Their shared history was comforting. Why couldn’t that familiarity be enough to anchor Kayleigh and keep her by his side? “It totally would have worked if Mrs. Baker hadn’t noticed that we’d forgotten to trade shirts.”
Kayleigh laughed, the sweetest music to his ears. “It totally would not have. You sucked at history. She would have been on to your switch after she graded the paper.”
“True.”
“Do you like your job?” Maybe he could use this time to lay the groundwork, convince her that life outside of Texas might be a good thing. “Does hanging out with rug rats all day do it for you?”
She chuckled. “Teaching kindergarten doesn’t make my eyes roll back in my head if that’s what you mean. But I like it. The kids are great and if I can ever get my student loans paid off, I might get to enjoy my summers for once.”
“How much more do you have left to pay?”
“More than I’d like,” she admitted. “But those are the breaks. Tutoring over the summer pays pretty well, though I should get a bonus for dealing with hormonal middle-schoolers.”
“God, I hated middle school.” He’d dealt with his fair share of assholes in his teen years. Smug sons of bitches who had nothing better to do than tease him and Jase for being poor.
“I know.” Kayleigh placed a gentle hand over his. “Kids can be such assholes.”
“The only good thing about it was you. High school, too. I never would’ve gotten through it without you.”
Two peas in pod. That’s what Luke’s mom had called them. The best of friends and later, so much more. “Hey, remember the time we tipped the hay bales off the trailer and Ryder had to pick them all up by himself? He was so mad I thought his head was going to explode.”
On and on it went for the entire ride back to the ranch. One memory relived after another. It was a welcome distraction, one that kept Luke’s mind off the future and what would happen when it was time to return to the real world.
“Luke, what do you want from life?” The question came out of the blue as they made their way to the stables. Her voice was unsure and her body stiffened against his.
“I want to be happy with who I am and what I’ve done. I want to know that I didn’t cut any corners and did my best no matter what. I want my success to be measured by my talent and drive and not by who I know or how much money I have. And I want to share my life with someone I love.”
“Oh,” she said, barely audible over the bluster of wind.
“What do you want?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a rueful laugh. “Pathetic, right? I have no freaking idea what I want out of life. I’m sort of jealous that it’s all so clear for you. But then, it always was. You knew what you wanted, even as a kid, and you weren’t afraid to go after it.”
“You’re talking like you’re old and gray, Kayleigh.” He’d never known her to be so introspective. That was usually his hang-up. “You’re not even thirty. You don’t have to have all of the answers now, you know. You can go after what you want—live the life you want—at any time. You’re in control of your life, baby. No one else.”
“I’m supposed to be the rational voice of reason and you’re supposed to be the dreamer, remember? Not the other way around.”
It was true that she’d always been the calm that balanced him out, but why did it have to be that way? If, in the course of their relationship, he’d made her feel that she had no choice but to be the reason to his chaos, then he’d hurt her far more than he realized. And the thought damned near stopped his heart.
Luke reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear, letting the silky strands pass through his fingers. “You only get one life, Kayleigh. Live it right so you don’t end up with regrets later. Don’t apologize for it, and don’t feel like you owe anyone anything. Ever. Okay?”
He choked up on the reins, bringing Lucifer to a stop inside of Ryder’s posh stable. They sat still for a moment and Luke wrapped one arm around Kayleigh’s waist, hugging her tight against his chest.
“I’ve missed you, Luke,” she said.
He helped her down from the saddle but held onto her hand. When her eyes came up to meet his he replied, “I’ve missed you, too, honey.”
* * *
If she could, Kayleigh would’ve lived today over and over again in a continuous loop. Despite the sadness she felt, she wouldn’t trade today with Luke for anything in the world.
Every day could be like this. All you have to do is ask him to stay.
No matter how badly she wanted to, Kayl
eigh knew she’d ruin him if she asked him to stay just as surely as she would have suffocated if she’d left with him all those years ago. His words of assurance resonated with her, though. Maybe it wasn’t too late to lead the life she wanted. She simply had to be brave enough to go after it. The question was: What did she want?
Luke?
She couldn’t remember a time that she hadn’t wanted him. For a long time she couldn’t imagine a future without him in it. A long-distance relationship never would have worked and it wouldn’t now. Neither of them would be able to cope with the strain of being apart. There was no halfway for them. It had to be all or nothing.
“How was the ride?”
Kayleigh turned with a start at the sound of Ryder’s voice. His knowing smile did little for her already frazzled nerves but she met him look for look, daring the older Blackwell to lend a voice to his suspicious expression. “It was nice.” She flashed him a pleasant smile as she hauled the tack from Tallulah’s back and stowed it. “The creek is high this year.”
“Uh-huh.” Ryder folded his arms over his wide chest and smiled.
“Luke’s putting Lucifer away.” She wished he’d quit looking at her with that know-it-all grin. “Nice name, by the way.”
“I gave him to Luke as a Christmas present a few years back, hoping it might get him to come home for a week or two. Guess what I should have given him was a kindergarten teacher.”
Heat rose to Kayleigh’s cheeks and she averted her gaze.
“Ryder, about what I said earlier, I—”
“Are you harassing this lovely lady?” Luke emerged from the stall at the far end of the stable, dusting his hands off on his jeans. “Leave her alone and go find your own woman to pester.”
“Lara’s making dinner reservations in the city. She wants to know if she should make it for four.”
“Oh. No.” Any more time with the Blackwell clan and she’d be helpless to make a rational decision. She needed to decompress, weed through what she was feeling. “You all go ahead. I think I’m going to—”