Robert told him that all that was being taken care of by the nurse, and said that hopefully, his friend from Crewe would ring, and would be able to make a visit. No, there was no family member he wished to inform.
So now he was alone, and acutely aware of his body. There is something about lying in a hospital bed with few distractions that encourages self-examination. Robert could feel a tingling in his toes and in his mind’s eye he traced a route up his legs past the lesions, which he had tried to ignore, up through his groin which was aching, no longer with lust or love, just regret at what had been. Across his stomach which was churning with fear, up through his chest and heart, which was hurting with sadness and self-pity, up through his neck which ached, and into his mouth which was ulcerated and dry with panic. His brain was jampacked with too many thoughts jostling for position. He tried to swallow and drew in a sharp breath of pain. Then the tears flowed, slowly at first and then in a torrent – unstoppable, like his demise. Did anyone care?
Chapter 42
Sally spent the week in a dream. It flew by way too quickly for her. Every night she learned something new about a scene or an emotion, and every night she drew closer to Rupert. Her initial nerves, about being naked under the dress, were soon forgotten, but there had been one moment in the wings when Rupert had come up behind her and put his arms around her, and she could feel him hesitate as he became aware of her nakedness through the dress.
‘Wow!’ he whispered in her ear. ‘You feel amazing. I could stand here all evening and explore you.’
Sally shivered and moved away quickly, wrapping her cloak around her. ‘It is so cold in these draughty old wings,’ she whispered back. ‘I can think of better places to be.’ In my bed, she thought. Holding me, making love to me. All thoughts of Isabelle expunged from your mind.
Onstage, she and Rupert were a good team, and had created a chemistry between them, even if it was not quite as charged as before. Friday night had been a scary evening, when James Langton arrived with the agent from William Morris. The latter was a very charming urbane man who pulled no punches. After the show they met in the bar. Giles had arranged a light supper to be served, and had gone to town with smoked salmon and oysters, and champagne. Jeremy and Sally and Rupert were invited with Giles, James and Peter Stone, as he was introduced to them. He was very laidback and looked just like Sally had imagined a big London agent would: wearing a trendy, expensive suit, handmade shoes and silk shirt, and with distinguished grey hair and a slight Californian tan.
‘A pleasure to meet you both, Sally and Rupert. And you are Jeremy – that’s right, Laertes. A very exciting and enlightening performance, if I may say so, young man. You have a future ahead of you. Would you like to do more Shakespeare?’
‘Oh, absolutely,’ enthused Jeremy. ‘I would love to get into the RSC and do a season at Stratford. That is my goal.’ He laughed nervously, wondering if he had gone too far, but Peter seemed to be genuinely interested.
‘And you, Sally, what are you hoping to do after your season here?’
Sally found it more difficult to express her desires. She had been so sure when she left drama school that she would work her way up through rep to a play in the West End, or maybe join the company at the National, but since she had been watching Dora work the system here, and all her talk about exposure on TV, she was not so sure where she belonged. Did she have enough talent, as Jeremy seemed to possess, to crack the big companies? She suddenly felt very shy, and hesitated before she replied. She looked at them round the table waiting for her to speak.
‘I am not sure, to be honest. In the last three months working here, so much has happened to me, and I probably need time to absorb everything I have experienced. I know I am a good actress, but maybe not good enough.’ She looked round the table and smiled. ‘Not exactly selling myself, am I?’ she said.
Peter Stone answered her. ‘No, you are not, but I like your honesty, and you have an understanding of yourself and the business which is intelligent and useful. Too many young actresses just think their looks will see them through. There are many ways of getting a foot on the ladder, young lady, but many of those ladders lead to nowhere. If you are really serious about staying in the game you have to want it more than life itself, and accept that it is ultimately down to luck. You must have heard the cliché “right time, right place” – but that is exactly what it boils down to in this game. Now enough talk, let’s eat this delicious supper you have provided, Giles.’
Everyone relaxed and the evening seemed to go well. Giles and James were an odd couple, and Sally wondered if they had ever had a relationship, but when she whispered her query to Jeremy, he giggled into his napkin, replying, ‘He would never come out of the closet, Sally. Do you remember when we were at the British Drama League? He went on and on about the wife, even though he was desperate to get into my knickers, I now realize.’
‘I am so naïve,’ sighed Sally. She watched Rupert talking to Peter Stone about films in the pipeline, and casting opportunities, and could see how well he played the game. He was flirting with Giles and Jeremy, and at the same time being the serious Young Pretender to the throne. Everybody put on a face – except her! Once supper was done, Sally was more than ready to leave, glad of the excuse of two shows tomorrow as it was Saturday, and tomorrow night was her last performance.
She thanked Giles for the lovely dinner and the opportunity to see James again. Made her farewell to Peter, who gave her his card and said, ‘Ring me and make an appointment when you are back in Town and we can see what’s on offer.’ Well, at least she had not been a complete failure. She gave Jeremy a big kiss and said goodbye. Thank God Giles had ordered her a taxi, and she was able to sit back on the short journey home and try to assess the night. She started to fall asleep and decided to leave it all for the morning. Too much to cope with now.
She was relieved to find Dora in bed asleep, as she had wondered whether her sister would wake up and give her a grilling about the night. Needless to say, Dora had begged Sally to ask if she could come to the supper as well to meet Peter Stone, but Sally had refused point blank.
‘You will just have to wait your turn. I am sure it will come soon enough. Isn’t that casting woman coming to watch you next week?’ she had asked.
‘Well yes, but that is not the same as a top London agent, is it?’ Dora sulked. ‘Anyway, I get the message.’
Sally woke early on Saturday. She got up and made a cup of tea then sat in the kitchen trying to sort out her thoughts. She found the card Peter Stone had given her and turned it over and over in her hand. She would go and see him, she decided, as soon as she finished here. She needed an agent, that was for sure, because she was not capable of doing all the chat-up stuff. Yet she just had a gut feeling that Peter Stone found her a little dull for his style of agency, and maybe Dora would be more to his liking. She got up to go and get ready, leaving the card on the table.
When she arrived at the theatre, she found a huge bunch of flowers at the stage door.
‘Here, you must have a secret admirer, love,’ grinned Gladys. ‘I can’t find a note anywhere.’ It was accepted by everyone in the theatre that there were no secrets from her, at least not anything that could be pried open to divulge a name. It was all fair game to Our Lady of the Door.
‘Oh wow! How lovely. I will have another look and let you know,’ said Sally with a wink. She also had several cards in her pigeonhole which was a new experience for our budding actress. She loved opening them. They were all so different and always kind. She made sure she responded wherever there was an address, and sent one of the little postcard-sized photos she had had printed before she left home. It was her mother who had suggested she do them.
‘Oh, Mum, don’t be daft!’ she had retorted. ‘Who is going to want a picture of me?’
‘Your fans, you stupid girl. You wait and see, they will be thronging round that stage door like bees to a honey pot.’
Well, that hadn’t quite happened,
but Patricia had been right about the fan letters and Sally was very glad she had taken her mother’s advice. The thought of her mother suddenly made her very homesick. Unfortunately, her parents had not been able to come this week as Dad could not get the time off from school, and Mum was nervous about coming up on her own. It was a big blow, but Sally had stuffed her disappointment to the back of her mind and got on with the job. There would be other times. In fact, it now looked like they would come up to watch the Christmas show, Wind in the Willows, because both Sally and Dora had lovely parts. Sally had been cast as the water rat and Dora was the gaoler’s sexy daughter. So the plan was for her parents to come to the last show on Christmas Eve which finished early so they could drive home and be back for Midnight Mass, followed by champagne and hot mince pies; then a bit of a sleep-in, before indulging in a perfect family Christmas Day. Jeremy was going to pick them up on the motorway somewhere very early on Boxing Day morning so they would be back for the two o’clock matinée. God forbid anything went wrong, as most of the leading players would be in the car. Short and sweet though the holiday might be, it was worth every wink of sleep lost to Sally, who could not conceive of Christmas anywhere else on earth. She was also secretly hoping that she might be able to see Mack. He had rung her to wish her luck, explaining that he would be away until Christmas, but would make sure they met at some point during the holiday. Her Christmas reverie was interrupted by Jeremy, who was in early, as usual.
‘Good night last night, wasn’t it?’ he said. ‘That Peter Stone seems to have his finger on the pulse. And guess what? Giles has invited me and Eddie to have dinner with him tonight in Manchester, so I will be off for another night of debauchery.’
‘Not with Giles, surely?’ asked Sally. ‘He wouldn’t let himself be that vulnerable to a cast member, would be?’
‘Well, he already has to a certain extent, because we have seen him several times in the club with His Lordship and Robert.’ He stopped short. ‘Oops, I have just committed a huge boo boo! Sally, you must swear on your life not to tell anyone. Please swear. It is the best-kept secret in the gay world that Lord Graham and Giles Longfellow are a couple.’
Sally was completely dumbstruck. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she whispered. ‘But what about his wife, Tanya, and his daughter? What about Eddie? Oh my Lord, Jeremy, does his father know his son is gay? What happens to the Graham line if Eddie is the only son and heir? Difficult to continue if you are gay.’
It was something that Jeremy and Eddie tried not to think about too often.
‘Will he get married and have an heir and a spare like his father has done, do you think?’ she continued. The complications were growing by the minute. ‘Would he have to give you up for the time being?’
Jeremy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I just don’t know, Sal. It is my worst nightmare. Let’s face it, the aristocracy have their own rules. It is a bit like the mafia. They have the money and the power. Eddie may well be forced to make decisions against his will, and you can bet your bottom dollar I will be out of the picture.’
‘So why do you think Giles wants to see you this weekend?’ asked Sally.
‘Probably to warn me off, I don’t know. Maybe he is going to talk to Lord Graham – who can tell? It is a bit scary, I admit, and I haven’t been able to get hold of Eddie since yesterday to see if he knows anything. In fact, I am going to the pub now to use their telephone. Gladys does not need to know about this conversation. I am hoping to catch Eddie at lunch. I’ll see you later.’ He kissed her on the top of her head and left.
What a tangled web we weave, thought Sally.
She made her way up to Wardrobe to search out Janie. They had decided to give a party tonight by way of saying goodbye to Rupert and ‘well done’ to Sally. It was going to be hard for Sally but she was prepared – had been all along in a way. Through this week she had wondered if there was a smidgeon of hope that she might be in with a chance, as ever since their moment in the wings when Rupert had put his arms around her, she had felt a frisson between them. Maybe tonight she would ply him with drink and seduce him. The problem was, she would have to have had a few drinks herself to find the courage!
After the show tonight Pete and the boys planned to go back to her flat and get everything ready for the party. Sally had made a big shepherd’s pie, and there were lots of nibbles, and they had all clubbed together for the booze, but the champagne that Sally had bought was going to be the surprise. Janie had also hinted that she had a surprise too, so it was going to be fun.
The matinée was full of schoolchildren, which was always hard work, because they would chatter all the way through the play, and whoop and holler at any suggested sexual innuendo. Sometimes the actors just longed to go to the front of the stage and yell ‘SHUTUP!’ But this company had mostly been very good about their behaviour, although the skeleton of Yorick was sometimes written on, and displayed to the rest of the cast onstage by Rupert turning his back on the audience. The first time he did it, Pete and Simon giggled so much they both jumped into the grave and stayed there until they could control themselves. The Ghost, while waiting in the wings one day, had decided to lift his gown and flash his parts at Charmaine, who was just about to go onstage. She was so shocked she practically leaped ten feet in the air and landed with a bump on the stage. There had been strict instructions from Giles that there were to be no dirty tricks on the last night as it was very unprofessional, and the audience tonight had paid their money like everyone else and deserved a good show.
Well, we will see, thought Sally nervously.
Sally spent the time between the shows packing up. She would be out of this dressing room and back up with the girls next week. She wondered if Dora would be in here as she was headlining in the music hall. They were certainly chasing each other. Maybe they would share a dressing room for Wind in the Willows, although the role of the rat was considerably bigger than the washerwoman’s daughter, so it would seem fair Sally got the dressing room to herself. Oh stop it, you silly cow, you are turning into a right old diva. This is Crewe Repertory Theatre, not the Haymarket.
‘Beginners Act One, please,’ came the call. Everybody involved in the play came down to the stage and had a group cuddle. It was such a lovely moment, and the kind of thing that only happened in the theatre – real company spirit. Sally went to her usual corner to catch the beginning of the play and Rupert came to give her his customary hug.
‘Mmmm, you feel better than ever tonight, Miss Thomas. The vibes are positively jumping.’ He kissed her ear, and Sally had to hold herself together so as not to melt in his arms. It must be all the adrenalin coursing through her body that created this sensual thrill. Use it well, Sally, make it work for you onstage.
She turned round and embraced Rupert, clinging to him so he would remember her through her thin silk dress. ‘Good luck. It has been an amazing experience for me, I will never forget this moment.’ She kissed him gently on the lips and then pulled away. ‘Off you go – the curtain is rising!’
The performance went like clockwork. Everybody upped their game. The only mishap was that having never injured each other in the duelling scene, Rupert nicked Jeremy on the neck. There was real blood! Although it looked very dramatic from the wings, and poor Heather was trying to get first aid organized and stay on the book, disaster was averted as Jeremy pulled a silk hankie from his pocket and used it to good effect to stop the blood. Thank God for the hankie. Later that night, a toast was proposed to the indomitable Gwendoline, who had a policy of always secreting hankies on her actors for just such emergencies.
As soon as the curtain came down, the boys were off to set up the shindig. The crew were in, already tearing down the walls of Elsinor. It was an easy get out tonight as there was no real set to erect for the Victorian Music Hall. So they had high hopes of making the party before all the food and drink had gone, which is what usually happened, though Sally and Janie had made a pact to hold some back for the workers.
‘Where’s Geoffrey? Isn’t he going to escort us ladies then?’ enquired Sally as she appeared at the door. Gwendoline managed a tight smile and replied, ‘He has escorted his opposite number, the Queen of Denmark, to the party. Felt he couldn’t leave her to walk on her own. So come on, girls, let’s give it all we’ve got.’
Chapter 43
The party was in full swing when they got back to the flat. The music was very loud, and could be heard halfway down the street, but everyone reckoned that for one night only, Crewe and their downstairs neighbours would have to put up with it. Sally put her shepherd’s pie in the oven to warm up, with mountains of garlic bread to sop up the drink later. She dropped her stuff in her bedroom and then went to find Rupert. She should have known he would be pinned in a corner by her dear sister. Where Sally had gone for cleavage, Dora had gone for a plunging backless dress. She looked stunning, and Sally’s heart sank. Here we go again. I can’t compete with that. She went to the kitchen to get a drink and Janie caught her grim expression.
‘Not fed up already, surely?’ she commented.
‘Oh no, just feeling inadequate as usual. Darling Dora has set her sights on Rupert tonight – she obviously has intentions of giving him a good send-off.’
Janie came and gave Sally a hug. ‘Listen to me. You have a bond with Rupert, you always have, and that counts for a lot. I don’t know if it can go anywhere – let’s face it, a week ago he was wildly in love with Isabelle – but don’t let Dora muscle in on your night, and it is your night, Sally. You have been a triumph in every way on this production, and saved a lot of people’s arses. You go for it and enjoy. You look gorgeous. Now please find my errant boyfriend, and tell him I need him for five minutes.’
The Boy I Love Page 29