The Boy I Love

by Lynda Bellingham

  Sally did as she was told and sent Pete to the kitchen. She then made her way to the corner.

  ‘Hi, guys! Wow, Dora, you look amazing. That dress is almost finished,’ she quipped.

  ‘Yes, very funny, sister dear. But I could say the same about yours,’ Dora threw back.

  ‘Now, girls, please no scrapping. This evening is all about feeling the “lurve” in the room.’ Rupert was laughing at them.

  ‘Can I get you another drink?’ suggested Dora.

  ‘Or would you like some of my homemade shepherd’s pie? You must be starving,’ ventured Sally.

  Rupert raised his hands in surrender. ‘I give in! Both, please.’

  Sally and Dora exchanged murderous looks and went off to the kitchen. Rupert meanwhile went in search of male support and found Geoffrey and Jeremy in deep conversation about the play.

  ‘Oh, we will miss you, Rupert,’ said Geoffrey, ‘even though the competition has been gruelling, hasn’t it, Jeremy?’

  ‘Indeed it has – from both sides of the fence,’ teased Jeremy. ‘You had the pick of the bunch.’

  ‘Oh don’t,’ groaned Rupert. ‘Sally and Dora have been on the attack already. I am beginning to wonder if this would be my chance to have a random night with two sisters. What do you reckon?’

  ‘Oh, too much information!’ chorused the other two. ‘We will await the results, like two sad old farts.’

  ‘Actually, I must say my farewells, Rupert, as I am off to Manchester tonight,’ Jeremy told him. ‘So good luck, mate, and I hope we meet again very soon. Maybe even in the West End, fingers crossed.’

  ‘Absolutely – wouldn’t that be great? We could knife each other to pieces every night!’

  Jeremy went to find Sally and accosted her on the way to the kitchen. ‘Hey, Sal. Sorry I have to go so early, but Eddie is picking me up in five minutes. Have a great night and see you Monday morning. Love you.’ He gave her a kiss and loped off.

  Peggy and Percy were tucking into the shepherd’s pie at the kitchen table when Sally came in to get her share for Rupert.

  ‘This is spot on, girl,’ mumbled Percy through a large mouthful. ‘You’re not only a lovely actress, but a consummate cook. You’d better watch out, Peggy, you have got competition.’

  ‘Yes, dear – in your dreams. Well done, Sally, it is lovely. Come over here, I want to ask you something.’ She beckoned to Sally, who crossed the kitchen and knelt down at Peggy’s side.

  ‘What’s up?’ she asked.

  ‘Have you see that Sarah tonight anywhere?’ Peggy whispered.

  ‘No – come to think of it, I haven’t. Did she say she couldn’t come?’

  ‘No, but I tell you what, she is up to something. Every Saturday night I notice she is gone a bit quick, and I just wondered where she goes. You mark my words, there is something going on.’

  Sally filled her plate and went in search of her man. Rupert was surrounded by the boys and they seemed to be having such a wonderful time she felt a smidgen of guilt at breaking it up, but once the boys saw the grub they were off!

  ‘Well, you certainly know how to clear a room,’ laughed Rupert. ‘Ooh yummy, is this for me? Sally, you have been so outstanding on everything to do with this job. I really couldn’t have coped without you. I hope we can stay in touch. Do you think Giles might ask you to understudy in the West End? Wouldn’t that be great? Maybe I should mention it to him.’

  ‘Well, it is a kind thought,’ agreed Sally, ‘though it would be great to have a real part in something next. Who knows?’ She knocked back her drink, and decided now was the time for the champagne before everyone was too plastered to enjoy it. ‘Will you excuse me a minute, I have a hostess job to perform,’ she said and reluctantly turned away to see Dora bearing down on him with a bottle of champagne, no less, tucked under her arm.

  ‘Um, just a minute, my girl. That belongs to me and is going to be opened when I say the word and not before. So give it here and go and find some other form of alcohol with which to seduce your prey.’

  ‘My word, aren’t we the Diva tonight? Here, take your miserable champagne. I don’t need any help to seduce a man.’ Dora sashayed across the room and joined Rupert and the boys, who had returned with their spoils.

  Well, that should keep her out of trouble till I return, thought Sally.

  When Sally got back to the kitchen she was greeted by the sight of Janie and Gwendoline laying out an incredibly beautiful cake onto a plate.

  ‘Oh my goodness, where did that come from?’

  ‘Oh no! You were not supposed to come in here until we were ready to present this to you and Rupert. Janie made it and I supplied the ingredients,’ said Gwendoline.

  ‘Oh, girls, what a wonderful idea. And it’s great timing, because I was just about to open the champagne I have bought as my surprise. So we can have cake and champagne to finish off the evening with a bit of class.’

  Sally got all the glasses laid out on the side while the girls finished arranging the cake.

  ‘Shall we carry the cake in last?’ said Gwendoline.

  ‘Absolutely,’ nodded Sally, ‘and I will now go and give everyone a glass of champagne and prepare them for your entrance.’

  She managed to get everyone next door to be quiet, and not sip the champagne until she had said her few words, but first she went to the kitchen door and announced, ‘Ladies and gentlemen! Pray silence for that talented duo in the wardrobe department, with yet another side to their talent. Let them eat cake!’

  The girls entered to wild cheers, and applause at the sight of this huge cake. On top they had written:

  To Rupert and Sally

  What a pair!

  With love from the cast and crew, November 1982

  ‘Would Rupert and Sally please like to come and cut the cake,’ said Janie, producing two big knives, one for each of them.

  Rupert spoke first, saying, ‘I never imagined it was going to be as good as this. All the ups and downs – and that was just my sex-life! No, seriously, we have had our problems, but you have all been so supportive to me and I hope we all meet again one day in the future. But can I say a special thank you to Sally here. She has been my rock.’ Rupert leaned over and gave Sally a big smacker on the lips as everyone cheered with delight. Perhaps Dora less so!

  Sally responded with a short and sweet: ‘Thank you so much, everyone. I am completely overwhelmed. No job will ever compete with this. Thank you.’ She swallowed hard, and raised her glass of champagne to the room. ‘Cheers, everyone, and good luck always!’

  The toast resounded around the room, and then in a flash all was back to normal and the business of eating and drinking was resumed.

  ‘Let’s hope once the champagne dries up they will start to leave,’ said Sally, who was feeling a little tipsy.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry, they will go soon enough, but you and I have some serious drinking to do,’ Rupert said. ‘I have never seen you drunk. It could be quite a surprise, a bit like your lack of underwear in your Ophelia costume. That was so arousing – but you already know that, don’t you?’ He held her gaze.

  Sally did not look away but murmured, ‘Yes, it was very exciting – one of those rare unexpected moments. I love them, and I love to be surprised.’ She turned away to give someone a piece of cake.

  Rupert slipped his arm around her and drew her to him, whispering, ‘Perhaps I can surprise you again tonight?’ It took all of Sally’s self-control not to let out a whoop of delight right there. Instead she looked him straight in the eye and whispered back, ‘Show me.’ And then she walked away, hoping Rupert could not see how her legs were trembling. The next half an hour seemed like an eternity, but eventually everyone was gone except Sally and Rupert and Dora. Oh yes, Sally had forgotten about Dora!

  ‘This is cosy,’ the girl said, opening the last bottle of champagne – the one Sally had been saving to take to bed with Rupert.

  ‘Where did you find that bottle, Dora?’ she asked carefully.


  ‘In your bedroom, for some reason in an ice-bucket ready to go.’

  There was a deafening silence. Then Rupert spoke very quietly, but steadily. He said, ‘Ah yes, Dora, you have caught me out. I was going to spend some time drinking that with Sally tonight before we say our goodbyes. We have been through a great deal, as you know. So no offence to you, but we will say good night now and go in the other room, if you don’t mind.’

  Dora was dumbstruck, probably for the first time in her life. She had nowhere to go with this. So she stood up and put the bottle down on the table, but kept her own glass in her hand.

  ‘Good night then. I am sure you won’t begrudge me this one glass. I raise it to you both, and wish you health, wealth and happiness.’

  And with that she went to her room without a murmur.

  Sally turned and looked at Rupert. ‘I can’t believe you did that,’ she breathed.

  ‘Needs must sometimes. Now come on, take me to your room so we can have that talk, or whatever . . .’ There was a very naughty twinkle in his eye, or so Sally hoped, because quite frankly she was two sheets to the wind and her own eyesight was blurred. She hoped Rupert’s sight might be similarly incapacitated for the rest of the evening, should she have to take her clothes off. But stop! She was getting above her station.

  They adjourned to the bedroom with the bottle. Rupert placed it by the side of the bed and proceeded to take his clothes off.

  Sally was taken aback. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked rather foolishly.

  ‘Isn’t it obvious? I hardly think lying in your bed in my brown boots and Levis is very suitable.’ He had stripped to his pants, and then pulled back the sheets and got into bed.

  ‘Come on then, chop chop, we haven’t got all night. Well, we have – but I have no doubt that at some point you will fall asleep on me.’

  Sally was now completely thrown. She had never undressed in front of anyone before. All her drunken sessions had been with as little light as possible, and as many clothes on as she could reasonably get away with. This was a nightmare. She sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the lamp her side of the bed.

  She had pulled off her dress before she realized she would have to go and turn off the main light, thus exposing her fat stomach and unattractive tights. But at least the tights kept the fat on her legs enclosed and gave them a nice smooth shine. So she was going to have to make a dash for the switch and hope he wasn’t looking. Fat chance of that: he was sitting up sipping his champagne waiting for the floorshow!

  Oh well, here goes nothing, she thought. She had a gorgeous bra on at least, which she had had to go and buy to complement the low dress and get a good cleavage. Janie had chosen it, otherwise she would have been in her usual Marks & Spencer white matching sensible underwear. It was a black lace half-cup bra and she wore a matching black lace thong, which had been annoying her all night, because it was right up her bum! She tried to walk with her stomach turned away from the bed, which gave her a strange look of a lost spider! When she got to the light-switch she lifted her arms above her head in a kind of mock stretch, which gave her the opportunity to breathe in deeply, and hold her stomach in for the final moment in the light. Then, thank God, the light was off and there was only the rosy glow from her little bedside light. She managed to hold her breath all the way back to the bed, where she slipped niftily between the sheets.

  ‘Well, they weren’t exactly the most seductive moves I have seen in a bedroom, Sally,’ came Rupert’s voice, ‘but I guess you have yet to perfect them for professional purposes.’

  ‘What do you mean by that!’ she exclaimed, stung. ‘You think I do this all the time? How dare you suggest I am a slapper – like some girls you know,’ she said pointedly, then regretted it.

  ‘No,’ Rupert said calmly, ‘I mean when you have to do love scenes on camera, you twit. It is horrible, believe me, Sal. You feel such an arse in front of the crew, and everyone is scrutinizing your bits, et cetera. It’s a nightmare. So all I am saying is you should practise a bit more and have your moves ready.’

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t understand what you were driving at, but I can assure you, Rupert, I will not be asked to do those sorts of scenes. I am just not pretty enough. I know my limitations. I am a character actress – I will always be the fat friend, or the mixed-up one who is useless. Honestly, I don’t mind. As long as I can play good parts in prestige productions I will be happy. Give me some champagne, you greedy pig, you have already drunk half the bottle. It was me who was supposed to show you I can get drunk.’ She grabbed the bottle, poured herself a glass and threw it back, then poured another.

  Rupert was leaning on one elbow watching her with a smile on his face. ‘You are such good value, Sally, do you know that? I love being with you, it makes me smile all the time. Isabelle was hard work and I am supposed to be in love with her.’

  Sally sighed inwardly. Oh god, I knew she would have to come up eventually, but how am I going to get rid of her from the conversation.

  ‘Don’t you think, maybe, it was more lust than love? I mean, she is a gorgeous girl and everything, but she is so self-obsessed, Rupert – how could she love anyone back? And all the anorexia and bulimia and the drugs; it is not good for her certainly, nor you. You don’t need that kind of image just as you are about to crack it big on the West End stage. You need a nice calming influence – like me.’

  Sally couldn’t believe she had just come out with that statement, and was about to take it back when Rupert leaned over and kissed her. She waited for him to draw away again, but he didn’t. Instead he moved over to her and slowly began to explore her with his tongue. It was bliss. Sally loved kissing and was always disappointed when boys used to stop as quickly as they could, in order to get to the next part of the proceedings, which was usually to grab a breast. Not so young Rupert. They seemed to kiss for hours, only coming up now and then for air. But suddenly everything changed, for both of them. Sally could feel her need growing inside her. All the doubts and hurts and worries were disappearing, and leaving in their place a hunger. A huge desire to feel another human being. To touch skin and taste salty kisses and burn from his touch. Rupert had slipped on top of her and seemed to have discarded his pants on the way.

  ‘What about precautions?’ she managed to mumble through the kisses.

  ‘Taken care of,’ Rupert’s voice was low and urgent. ‘Sally, you are a beautiful person.’ He gently found her g-string and removed it, and then unclasped her expensive lacy bra with one deft flick of his fingers. But he did not clutch at her boobs, he just kissed her all over, exploring her body. Sally was shy at first because she did not want him to be disappointed. Isabelle she most certainly was not! But whether it was down to the champagne, or Rupert’s power of seduction, slowly she opened up to him. She wanted to explore his body, was hungry for more.

  ‘Hey, take it easy,’ he panted, ‘we have got all night, you know. I want to savour this. Miss Sally Thomas, a tiger in bed.’

  ‘Stop, Rupert, you are embarrassing me now. Please let’s just do it!’

  ‘What a quaint turn of phrase for the excellent lovemaking I had in mind. Do it! Sally Thomas, just lie back and enjoy, you deserve it . . .’

  Chapter 44

  ‘You will both have to have blood tests.’ Giles sat back from the table in a private sitting room of the Queen’s Hotel and watched the two young lovers try to absorb the devastating information he had just imparted to them. There was no other way of doing this except with the brutal and honest truth. All of them, including himself, were in mortal danger. He had discussed it endlessly with Teddie, who had gone off to London immediately to see his private doctor. But this was not something that could be cured with money.

  ‘So is Robert going to die?’ whispered Eddie.

  ‘I am afraid he is very close to the end, and I was going to suggest you both went to visit him to say goodbye. I will pay the train fares for you. You could go down tomorrow and come back Monday morning. Do you have anyw
here you can stay tomorrow night? If not, I will pay for a B&B – there are plenty in the vicinity of the station. Now, is there anything you want to ask me?’ Giles was acutely aware that Eddie was going to have to talk to his father, and God knows how Teddie Graham was going to deal with the fact that his only son and heir was gay; or indeed, that his own secret life was now threatened with exposure.

  ‘Are we going to die?’ Jeremy was holding himself ramrod straight, and his face was white and pinched. He let out a little moan and then covered his mouth with his hand. ‘Oh God, what am I going to tell my parents!’

  ‘I suggest you say nothing to anyone at this juncture,’ advised Giles. ‘First things first. You will go and have blood tests on Monday morning, and then once we have the results we will know better what we have to do. I am so sorry, boys. It is the most frightening and threatening thing to happen to any of us. Everyone in the gay community is going to have to stick together and beat this.’

  He got up from the table and bade them both good night. It was already the early hours of Sunday morning and the boys were exhausted.

  ‘Come on, Eddie, let’s go to bed and try to get some sleep,’ Jeremy said. ‘I will look up the trains for tomorrow.’

  They passed the bar on the way to their room, and heard all the laughter and screams of delight that accompanied a Saturday night at the Queen’s Hotel. How different was life going to be for so many people if this terrible disease got a grip?

  They undressed and prepared for bed in silence. Once under the covers they lay side by side, each with his own thoughts racing through his head. Then very softly Eddie began to cry, just sniffles at first as he brushed away a tear, but then he could not hold in the sobs that racked his body. Jeremy took him in his arms and rocked him gently, ignoring his own tears, wet on his cheek.