Ryder eases us back onto the road, and Reese follows closely behind us, driving the jeep. “Try and keep an eye out for any vehicles on the side of the road. There’s a lot of open road out here, and unfortunately abandoned cars seem to be few and far in-between. We’re going to need to siphon gas all the way to Chicago, and every drop counts.”
I nod. “I understand. Hopefully we find a town with some stores. The parking lots are always full of vehicles with gas still in them. It should be easy to find some good ones and siphon it out.”
He grabs my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. “Smart girl,” he says, giving me an easy smile. Now that he’s away from Daisy and Hannah, it looks like he’s in a much better mood, and I hope it stays that way. I want Ryder to be happy. We have hope now, and I don’t ever want him to feel miserable or hopeless again. We’re going to fix things, and then he and I are going to settle down and have a normal life, with our friends and family beside us.
I just told Ryder that I wasn’t as naïve as Daisy, and yet here I am thinking something as foolish as that. Unbelievable. Its wishful thinking and I know it. I have no guarantees that any of us are going to come out of this alive, and it’s very likely that Ryder and I are going to lose people that are very important to us. But I can’t let myself worry about it now. If I do, it’ll just make it more likely that something goes wrong and I’ll lose someone important to me, probably through my own doing.
We drive in silence for a couple of hours, stopping to refuel from an abandoned SUV on the side of the road. The owner is still in the front seat, clawing at the window, leaving bloody streaks behind. They probably pulled over during their escape attempt when they got too sick to drive, and just died right here in the front seat. I put my hand on the door’s handle while Ryder readies his weapon. When he gives me the signal, I yank open the door and jump back, giving Ryder room.
The zombie falls out of the car and hits the ground with a wet splat. Rather than waste a bullet, Ryder brings his foot up, stomping down on the zombie’s head until the brains squish out between the cracks in its skull. He looks at me with a grimace as he shakes zombie brains off of his boots. “Check the car for anything we can use while I siphon the gas.” He heads back to the truck and grabs the hose and sets to work.
I head around to the other side of the SUV and open the passenger side door. A stack of CD’s falls out and hit the road with a loud clatter that nearly makes me jump out of my skin.
“You okay?” Ryder asks, his voice high and tense.
“I’m fine. Just tipped some CD’s over when I opened the door.” I reach for the glove compartment, hooking my fingers under the latch and pulling it down. I root through the contents, passing over some long outdated insurance information and some melted gooey candies. There’s nothing of interest in the glove compartment, and I close it with a click and not a second thought.
I search under the seats, moving them back so I can see better. I only find crumbs from every meal he’s ever eaten in this vehicle, along with a half-eaten sucker that’s stuck to the carpet. I resist the urge to shudder. Pigs, I think to myself. I slide the seats back into their original position, even though I know that nobody is ever going to use them again, and close the door behind me. I scan the backseat real quick, but don’t see anything of interest, or anything that might be even remotely useful.
While Ryder finishes siphoning out the gas from the tank, I head over to where the rest of the group is congregating around the jeep. Reese is passing out food, and I notice his eyes flick over to Hannah every so often. She’s hanging back a bit with Daisy by her side, and it looks as if Madison is attempting to stand guard against our judgment, and she still has the same steely gaze on her face that she gave me when we decided Hannah’s fate.
I take a can of chicken and dumplings and two granola bars, heading back over to the SUV. Ryder is bent over with his hands on his knees, trying not to retch at the smell or taste of the gasoline, and I stick the granola bars in my coat pocket so I can rub his back until the feeling of sickness passes. When he finally stands, he turns away from me and spits, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
He gratefully takes a granola bar from me and tears into it like a savage animal while I dig into the chicken and dumplings. When my share of the can is gone, I pass it off to him, and he polishes it off in record time while I nibble on my granola bar. Even when it’s gone, my stomach doesn’t feel full, but it never does anymore. All of us can always eat more, but we have to be responsible and conserve as much of our food as we can, just in case something awful happens and we have to make what we have last.
“So, do you know where we are?” I ask.
He nods. “We’ve already passed into North Dakota, not that that’s really much to write home about because it all seems like one giant barren wasteland, even before the world ended.” I crack a smile, and I’m delighted when I get one in return. “It’s gonna take us a while to get to Chicago, even with the roads as clear as they are.”
I look around, noticing not for the first time that these roads—like many of them—are almost completely devoid of other vehicles. “I don’t know if I’ve ever asked you why the roads are so clear. Do you have any idea why they’re always pushed off to the side and in the ditches?”
“Near the more populated areas, the army went through and tried to keep the roadways clear. Most of the less populated areas weren’t touched by the army; we focused our attention on the places with the most survivors and most zombies, so there aren’t a lot of cars out here even though we never cleared the roads. The smaller cities that weren’t of interest to us still have a lot of cars blocking the roads, and hopefully we’ll be able to find a way around that, cause we’re not gonna be able to force our way through.”
“I hope things go smoothly for us.”
He nods. “Me, too.” He looks at the rest of the group, and when he sees that they’re finishing up their food, he says, “Let’s get back on the road, guys. It’s gonna be dark in the next hour or so, and I want us to have a secure place to sleep for the night.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“I’m not sure yet, but we’ll find something. We always do.”
We get back on the road, and several hours later, we stop for the night at a hunting lodge. It’s back from the road a bit, so we’ll be able to pull our vehicles up into the driveway and away from the road, just in case anyone comes through in the middle of the night and tries to take them. It’s already pitch black out, so we bustle to get our supplies inside once Reese and Madison clear out the inside of the lodge, making sure the area is free of any zombies or threats.
We spread out along the floor, putting blankets from our bags down, along with some pillows we pull from the master bedroom at the back of the house. Ryder grabs his weapon, planning on taking the first watch, but I grab his arm. “No. You drove for damn near eleven hours today. You need to get some rest before your eyes fall out of your head. One of us can do it.”
He sighs, but doesn’t argue with me, which means that he’s even more tired than I think he is. He put his weapon back down, and looks around. “Who wants to take the first watch? Sam won’t let me because of how much driving I did today. That means Reese is out, too.”
“I’ve got it,” Aaron says immediately. “Sam’s right. You two get some much needed rest since we’re gonna go even farther tomorrow, and probably the next day, too.”
“Who do you want to relieve you in a few hours?”
“Madison can do it, or Sam can,” he says. “It doesn’t matter to me, as long as it’s not you or Reese. You two need to get a full night of rest.”
Ryder lies down on the floor beside me, and I give him some of the covers. His arm snakes around my waist, pulling me close against his chest. He falls asleep almost instantly, and I can feel his deep, even breathing as the night wears on. I’m glad he’s finally getting a much needed chance to get some sleep. After about an hour of listening to him breat
h, I feel myself drift off into a dreamless sleep.
*****
In the morning, I help pack up our supplies, even though I’m still tired and I want another couple hours of sleep. Aaron woke me around two am for my turn at watch, and I had to leave Ryder alone for a little while so I could go sit on the porch all bundled up with a shotgun in my lap. Then around five, I woke up Madison to take over, and crawled back into bed with Ryder for another couple hours of sleep.
I could use a couple more, but I’m ready to go for the most part, and I’m glad to see that Ryder is looking refreshed and rejuvenated. He stretches his back until it cracks, lifting his arms above his head and giving me a glimpse of his toned stomach as his shirt rides up a bit. He catches me looking and winks, and I feel my cheeks warm up and duck my head to hide my embarrassment.
“You’re so cute when you blush,” he says quietly, not for the first time.
I duck my head and finish folding our blanket. Ryder helps me stuff it into the bottom of the bag, and we pile the rest of the supplies inside, keeping out our bottles of water and the last of the cereal breakfast bars. We eat together on the couch while everyone else finishes packing, but it’s a slightly uncomfortable silence. I can tell that Ryder has his eyes on Hannah, and I look over to find her talking quietly with Daisy.
Reese spots Ryder watching and comes over. “We’ll take her this morning,” Ryder says, surprising me. “Aaron can go back to being with his own group, and you can ride with us, too. I want to see how Hannah acts without Daisy around.”
“You think it’s just an act?” I ask, looking at Hannah and Daisy again.
“I don’t,” Ryder says, shaking his head. “But I think Daisy is a sort of comfort blanket. And I want to know what this girl is going to be like if Daisy can’t be with her all the time. It’s gonna sound a little mean, but I want to know how she reacts to being in a less forgiving environment, one where she won’t be coddled like Daisy is doing for her. We all live in an unforgiving environment, and she needs to learn to handle that.”
“This could backfire,” Reese points out.
“I know,” Ryder admits. “But I have to know if I’m wrong about her, or if we need to keep a close eye on her for even longer. You don’t have to ride with us if you don’t want to. I can ask Aaron to do it.”
“Nah, man. I’m good. I just wanted to make sure you know there are risks involved. But if you’re sure you wanna do this, then I’m gonna go load my stuff into the truck. But just so you know, Daisy is not gonna like this.”
“Tough shit,” Ryder says, eyes narrowing. “She’s put the safety of this group in enough jeopardy. If she doesn’t like my decision, she can stay here with Hannah.” He turns and storms off, mumbling something about looking for Aaron to tell him the change in plans. Reese and I watch him go, and I get an unsettling feeling in my gut.
“Man, he is fucking pissed at Daisy,” Reese says, almost as if he’s in awe. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this angry in awhile. He’s acting like a bear with a bur under its tail.”
“I don’t blame him,” I say. “The way Daisy spoke to him was bad enough, but to do it in front of the whole group and make him out to be a bad leader was even worse. I don’t even know where that fire came from. She’s normally so timid and quiet, just kind of going with the flow and never speaking out. But she just erupted, and she’s still close to boiling over even now.”
Reese nods. “I know what you mean. I didn’t see it coming, that’s for sure. Who would have thought she was a little spitfire underneath all of that cowering?” He shakes his head, and looks at me. “Why don’t you come help me load up the truck? Standing around and watching Ryder lose his temper isn’t going to help anything.”
I follow Reese out to the truck, carrying my backpack over my shoulder. I sling it into the bed of the truck, next to Reese’s. We hang back by the truck, waiting for Ryder and Hannah. Before they’re even out the front door, I can already hear Daisy throwing a fit. Ryder steps out onto the porch, with Daisy storming out close behind him, grabbing his coat and trying to stop him.
“Ryder—”
“Stop,” he says firmly. “This is my decision to make, and I’ve already made it. Deal with it.”
“No! You’re not doing this!”
Ryder stops in his tracks and Daisy bumps into him, eyes going wide as she quickly backs away. “You need to understand something,” he says dangerously. “I am the leader of this group. If you don’t like it, you and Hannah are more than welcome to stay here.”
“Madison won’t let you—”
He laughs. “Madison knows her place in this group, and you need to learn yours. Aaron and I are in charge, and he agrees with me on this. You’re shit out of luck Daisy. This is what’s happening.”
“You’re gonna scare her,” she says. “I’m not stupid, Ryder. You’re trying to freak her out so you can have an excuse to leave her behind. Just like how you all overreacted earlier when she got scared and scratched me. I won’t let this happen.”
Ryder ignores her, but I can see the tension mounting in his shoulders and face. I hope he isn’t doing this just to get a reaction out of Hannah. I understand why he’s so concerned about her, especially after what happened earlier, but I don’t want him to give Daisy another reason to hate him or disagree with the way he leads our group.
She still looks angry, so I head over and put my hand on her shoulder. “I’ll take care of Hannah today,” I promise.
She looks skeptically at me. “Sure you will.”
I squeeze her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Daisy. Ryder isn’t happy she’s here, but she’s here now and he knows that. She’s his responsibility now, and he’ll take care of her the best he can. You’ve seen how he protects us.”
“He doesn’t want her here,” she says flatly.
“No, he doesn’t,” I admit. “But he won’t just let her die.”
“He let Naomi die,” she says belligerently.
I put my hands on my hips and stare at her until she looks away guiltily. “You know he would have saved her if he could have. He had me and Reese to think about as well. You weren’t there, Daisy. You didn’t see how many zombies were surrounding us. They were coming out of nowhere, like a swarm of angry hornets. And Naomi was already injured.” My voice breaks and I can feel the tears coming.
“Sam—”
I clear my throat, trying to calm myself a little. “Ryder did his best. That’s all you can ask for. Be fair.”
Daisy sighs. “Just take care of her, Sam. Please.”
“You know I will, to the best of my ability. Try not to worry about it too much.”
She heads back inside, probably to talk to Hannah and explain to her what is gonna happen. I’m a little worried how Hannah will react without Daisy there to comfort her. I hope I can keep her calm if anything happens, because even though I don’t want her here any more than Ryder does, I don’t want to give Daisy another reason to ever be sad again. She likes this girl and wants her with us, and I’m trying to accept that.
Hannah comes out, eyes wide and looking like she wants to be anywhere other than here. Daisy puts her hand on Hannah’s shoulder and whispers something to her quickly, obviously trying to calm the girl down. They’re both in tears, and I wish we didn’t have to separate them, but Ryder is right for wanting to see how Hannah does on her own. She comes over to me and sniffs. “I’m ready to go.”
I take her backpack from her and load it into the bed of the truck next to mine and Reese’s. I hold the door open for her, letting her hop into the back seat. Reese climbs in beside her, and I close the door, hopping in the front and grabbing the map off the dashboard. Ryder hops into the driver’s seat and I let him take a quick glance at the map in my hands, trying to give him a rough idea of where we’re going. I’m not much for being a navigator, but Ryder’s been teaching me the basics.
He eases out of the lodge’s driveway, and Aaron follows along closely in the jeep. Once we get back on
the road, I hit the volume button on the radio, and the CD starts where it last left off. It’s Reese’s pick, and I try not to wince when some deep voiced man starts crooning some country ballad. It’s not even the tolerable country that’s more fast paced, but instead the slow, soulful kind I can’t stand.
Reese begins to sing along with the radio, and I resist the urge to bash my head against the window beside me. Ryder smiles and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s your turn to pick next. Just a little bit longer,” he says. “But choose wisely, because after that I get to put mine in, and I know how much you love country.”
Chapter Twenty
About three hours later, Ryder slows the truck and stops in the middle of the road. There’s a black SUV off on the side of the road, which isn’t all that unusual, except there’s a live driver peeking under the hood of it. We can’t see his face, but we see a thin build and a head with greasy blond hair that reaches to his shoulders. He’s fiddling with something under the hood, and I look over at Ryder. “Do we stop and help him?”
He purses his lips, thinking about it. “It might be a trap. He could have friends lying in wait, ready to attack when we get out of the car.”
“We could have Aaron, Todd, and Madison hang back in the truck with their weapons, ready to shoot if anyone comes out of hiding,” Reese says. “There aren’t too many places for them to even hide. I only see two other cars down the road, and they’re burned out and unusable, which means the most people he could have is however many he could fit in that SUV. And there are no trees for any of them to climb. It’s not like they’re gonna fall out of the sky and attack.”
Ryder tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “I don’t like this.”
“It could be nothing,” I say, glancing from him to the man in the road. “He might just be a survivor having a bad day.”
“And he might be like Frank,” Ryder points out. “If he is, there’s no telling what he’ll do to us,” he says, as if I’ve somehow forgotten what men like Frank are capable of.
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