by Vicki Green
“I’ll be fine. I promise. I’ll eat as much as I can. You go and take care of our castle and I’ll get cleaned up and call Mom.” I’m a little more relieved with her words and watch her take another bite. She swallows and then gives me a look of a lost little girl. “Just hurry back to me, ok? Don’t be gone too long!”
My heart breaks but I gather my strength and give her my best smile. “Anything for you, my love. Let’s eat up and then I’ll hurry. You know I can’t stay away from you for too long anyway.” Her beautiful face lightens a bit more, and we both begin to eat earnestly. My mind is spinning with thoughts of what I can do to help, to make her happy and carefree again. A light bulb goes off, and now I have some calls to make while I’m out.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I already feel so alone, and it’s only been twenty minutes since Knox left, but I finally get in the shower hoping that it will help me feel better. Once I’ve tended to all my bathroom duties, dried my hair and got a pair of jeans on with one of Knox’s t-shirts that has become my favorite, I walk to my room, sit down in the chair and just look out the window for a few minutes. I need to call Mom back, and I desperately want to but part of me is dreading it. Sitting there and staring out into the bright sunlit garden memories begin overtaking me. My father laughing at something cute I did as a little girl, my mom taking me shopping as a teenager and how close we used to be and my dad actually saying he was proud of me over a paper I did for school. He didn’t say it often but when he did all the love he feels for me would envelope me, and I’d feel so cherished. But that stopped many years ago and then my life changed so drastically. I know he wouldn’t be proud of what I’ve done, what I’ve had to do to survive, and he’d more than likely disown me all over again if he knew. I finally muster up my strength, pick up my phone and hit call on my mother’s name. It barely rings once when she answers.
“Jaden, my baby. Thank you so much for calling me back.” I haven’t heard anyone use my full name in years and it takes me back to a place before all the horrible things that happened in my life. “Your father is asking for you. Now before you get upset please know that he told me that he’s so very sorry for hurting you, for allowing himself to take away the only person he’s loved and…” I hear sniffling and something rustling, a tissue maybe and then she clears her throat. “He feels horrible and so alone right now. Won’t you come and see him? Please? If you can’t do it for him I completely understand. Do it for yourself. Maybe get some closure to the nightmare that happened? Would that help you, baby?”
My mind is full on confusion. Memories keep bombarding it. I want to make amends, especially now, but then I remember all the hurtful things he said when I needed him the most. My eyes move up and stare at the ceiling. Can I forgive him? I’m close to forgiving my mom, at least I’m trying to. Can I do the same with him? I want to but at the same time I can’t. I don’t know what to do.
“Mom,” my voice is cracking with emotion. “I want to but I’m not sure… So much has happened that I’m…” I stumble with my words. Do I tell her everything I’ve done? Will that help make peace or cause more anger and resentment? Damn! I need Knox. I should have talked this through with him before he left. Feeling alone again I try to keep my tears at bay. “I’m getting married,” I blurt. There’s not even a second of silence when she screams in my ear.
“JADE! What? Oh, my God! I’m so very happy for you. Where did you meet him? What’s he like? Oh, I’m sure he’s the most wonderful man in the world if he captured your heart. What…?” I cut off her excitement when a little bit of relief hits me.
“Mom, slow down.” A giggle escapes me, and I’m remembering the times I came home excited from meeting the little boy at the playground, how she sat with me as I talked nonstop about how cute he was. How sweet and so much fun he was. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. “Mom, do you remember that little boy I met at the playground when I was little?”
“Oh, my! Do I? I’ll never forget your face when you came running into the house after you met. I could barely keep you away from there after that. Every day you went. When I told you we were moving you had the world’s worst fit I think ever known to man. And when you went to tell him goodbye the morning we were leaving and he wasn’t there you cried almost all the way to Colorado. You didn’t eat for days once we got there and I thought I’d have to take you to a child psychiatrist to get over him. Such a thing to happen to a four year old, I swear.”
My heart starts racing again with the memories. “Mom, that little boy whom I fell in love with so long ago, it’s the man I’m marrying. His name is Knox Dunway.” Sitting there waiting for her reply is killing me. I hold the phone away from my ear looking to make sure we haven’t gotten disconnected. “Mom?” The sniffles I heard before return.
“What? How?” Great questions that I ask myself every day.
My face brightens and my smile is huge. “Fate is on my side, I guess. He found me and our love is stronger than it ever was at such a young age. Mom?”
“Yes, dear,” she answers through her crying.
“I’m pregnant. It will be the best of Knox and myself and will feel all the love I’ve missed out on. Knox is so excited and worries about me constantly. He may make me crazy until…”
“I’m going to be a grandmother? I’m too young.” She laughs, and I can’t possibly hold my laughter back either. I’m so relieved that I feel like everything just might turn out ok. She becomes quiet, too quiet. “I’ve missed so much in my foolishness, doing whatever that man wanted in staying with him. I’m such an idiot.” The sadness in her voice causing my heart to slow, and I feel like crying again.
“Mother, I want to try and put all that behind us but you have to help me.”
“Anything. I’ll do anything. What do you want me to do and I’ll do it,” she speaks so hurriedly that I barely an understand her.
“I don’t… I don’t want to talk or think about all the horrible things that happened in my past anymore. I’ve moved on and away from them and only want happiness now. I’m having a baby and I have a wonderful man to think about and I want nothing but the best for our lives. If you want forgiveness from me then you have to abide by my wishes and trust me. I can only tell you things that have happened after I left that I choose to, don’t ask for anything more than that from me. There are some things you’ll never know and if you can’t live with that then it will kill me but I can’t have you in my life. Please understand I don’t want that but I won’t have a choice.” My breathing is heavy as I await her answer and the fear of her not being in my life again is beginning to overwhelm me to where I feel nauseous.
I hear her take a deep breath and release it. “My sweet Jade. I won’t ask what you’re not willing to tell me and I’ll respect that. I love you so much and it’s torn me apart not having you in my life. I’ve hated your father for what he’s done. I didn’t just leave him because of that but because of years of unhappiness. In my heart I’ve forgiven him for a lot of it but I won’t ever be able to forgive him for what he did to you nor can I forgive myself but I’ve made strides to have some peace and knowing you’re doing so well helps. I just want you back in my life, sweetheart, and to be able to get to know the man who stole your heart and hold my grandbaby in my arms, make loving and happy memories for them. I want that so much.” Her crying begins again and it breaks my heart.
“Oh, Mom! I’ve missed you so much,” I say through my own sobs. It seems like we’ve been talking and crying for a long time when my head turns around at the sound of someone walking in, and I’m quickly up and running into Knox’s arms. I keep the phone pressed to my ear as his hands rub my back, and his arms squeeze me tight.
“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you so much and I love you with all my heart.” Her words make my heart swell and I’m rendered speechless as I begin to cry into Knox’s chest.
I open my hand, releasing my phone, and he grabs it before it hits the grou
nd. When I hear him talk gently to my mother, I cry even harder. “Mrs. Morley, this is Knox. I’m afraid your daughter is crying with joy right now and cannot continue her conversation. Yes. I know. I’m sure you are. Yes, I’ll have her call you back as soon as she is able to. Thank you, it’s my pleasure speaking with you as well. Take care.” My arms hold his waist even harder, and I can only nod with his next words. “Come. Let me take care of you.” Never releasing me, we walk over to my chair, and he’s sitting with me on his lap in a matter of seconds, my head never leaving his chest. “There now. Better?” I can only nod again, my hair a tangled mess around me and my eyes feeling swollen. “Good. Let’s just sit here and relax for a few minutes. I’ll tell you about our castle.” As he begins in his soft tone my eyes open a little and look up at his gorgeous face, my hand reaching up and wiping some of my tears away. “They are ahead of the deadline and have called in another two crews. I told the contractor I want it done as soon as possible and will pay him three times the agreed price to get it done faster. He has assured me it will be done in four weeks, if at all possible, and will hire even more crews if needed. I’ve brought home some books on decors that you can look through and pick out anything your heart desires. I want to make this as easy on you as possible, Angel.” He pulls back some of my hair that’s fallen over the side of my face and lovingly plays with a strand.
Finally, my speech returns and I clear my throat causing his eyes to look down at me quickly. “You’ll decide with me, right? I want you to love everything as much as I do.” His sexy grin appears, and his eyes soften.
“My love, I’m sure I will love everything you pick out as you have impeccable taste but I would be thrilled to look at your decisions if that will ease your mind.” He leans down and kisses the top of my head, my eyes closing from his touch and then reopen to look into his gleaming blue eyes. “I don’t want you to worry about a thing, promise?” A little giggle breaks free, but I can’t stop it. His smile grows larger, his straight white teeth showing as well as a dimple by the left side of his mouth that I hadn’t noticed before making him look even sexier which I also didn’t realize was possible. “And what made that adorable sound come out of your luscious mouth?”
“I’m just so happy. My day has been a whirlwind of emotions and then you come home and everything is as it should be again.” Now I notice his eyes seem a little wet. Is he crying? “Home. I never thought in a million years my life would take this full circle and end back with the little boy I fell in love with. My first love. My last love.”
He kisses my nose, a tear dropping from his eyes and hitting my shirt. He’s gonna make me cry again. I can’t possibly have any more tears left in me, but yet I can feel the wetness. “Your last love. Your eternal love.”
My mouth can’t find his fast enough, and as we kiss heavily he leans me back and is practically on top of me as he remains seated in the chair. His hand reaches under my shirt pushing the cup of my bra away roughly then his hand kneads my breast as his finger and thumb tweaks my nipple, and I begin squirming in his lap. He can’t seem to do everything he wants so he suddenly lifts me, our mouths still kissing hungrily, and I find myself on the floor, and before I know it, without my jeans and panties. His hardened cock is inside me, my body heating from the inside as my climax quickly approaches. I’m saddened when his mouth leaves mine but when he begins sucking on my nipple, the feeling is replaced with even more passion. My squirming increases as does my heart rate when his thumb finds my swollen and pulsating clit and it takes but only a few seconds before I’m screaming his name, and only a few more when my name leaves his lips in a loud moan. When I open my eyes halfway I see the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, his face is scrunched in heated desire and when he moans I can feel it throughout my entire body, the sensation heightening my climax and causing me to have the hardest orgasm I’ve ever had. My back arches as my head tilts back, and I let out the loudest moan that echoes in the room and feel like I’m losing consciousness.
The hardness of the floor seems to be gone, and softness replaces it. The warmth around my body is so much more than it was before. “Angel? Oh, my God! I’ve hurt you!” The sweetest but concerned voice makes its way to my ears, and I feel comforted and loved. My eyes open as a smile spreads to find Knox staring at me, his eyes full of worry. “Oh, thank God! You scared me. Are you ok?”
His face is right above me, and as I reach up, laying my hand against his flushed skin, he closes his eyes. “I’m perfect. I’ve never been better.” His eyes reopen and are now full of relief. “Knox, you’ll never hurt me especially when you make me orgasm as hard as you just did. I think I left earth for a minute though.” His mouth turns from a frown into the sexiest smile, and I’m lost in him, in us. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, your face when you climaxed was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. If I wouldn’t be raged with jealousy I’d think a portrait of that face should be done for me to stare at whenever I want.” Slowly, his face comes closer, and his mouth kisses me gently, lovingly.
“Baby, you can see that face anytime you wish. But the most beautiful thing was your face. Angelic. It’s the only word to describe your face when you orgasm. There’s no other way to say it, there’s really no correct words. I love you. Marry me.” I start laughing so hard my tears of happiness leak from the sides of my eyes rolling into my hair and onto the pillow beneath my head.
“Oh! How did I get here? I don’t even remember.” I look around and find we’re in our bedroom.
“When I couldn’t get you to respond to me I carried you in here and covered you up. I thought maybe you might start shivering again like before and I got worried.” His fingers lightly move some of my damp hair back from my forehead so gently.
My finger reaches up, and I trace his frown lines on his forehead and over to the few little lines by the corner of his eye. “You’re going to age fast with wrinkles if you don’t quit worrying about every little thing.” He chuckles and turns his head kissing my finger then looks back into my eyes.
“Angel, when it comes to you, I’ll always worry.” His eyes look up at the ceiling. “And when princess graces us with her presence, Lord help me, I’ll be worrying about both of you until the day I die.” He looks back down at me. We just stare at each other, but then he crushes me with his weight and rolls us over so I’m on top of him. Our mouths connecting and we make out like we’ve never been apart all these years. Nothing will tear us apart, ever again.
§ § § §
We spent the rest of the day in bed loving each other. I finally drew a bath for her, with her favorite lilac salts. She sat in front of me in the tub, her back firmly pressing against my chest. I listened to her excitement about her decorating ideas for our castle, finding her tastes are so similar to mine. By the time our skin had pruned we decide to dress in our pajamas, well her in her favorite t-shirt of mine which she looks all kinds of delish in and me in my pajama pants, and we have dinner while looking through the catalogs I brought home. When dinner was done she had a full notepad of things she wants to order for our castle tomorrow on her computer. Since I told her I’m going over early in the morning to go over some things with the crews, she can get busy ordering them. A month is not a whole lot of time. Of course, I’m not really going over to the site but over to Tabbies to speak with her and Amber about a surprise wedding I have set in my head. I’m also stopping by Phillips office first to get my stitches out. Finally.
The next morning before leaving my sleeping Angel, I write a small note and place it beside her on the bed telling her I love her, and that I’ve left my credit card on her laptop for her to order all the things for our castle and to call me if she needs me. After a quick cup of coffee I head over to Phillips, quickly get my stitches removed. I then drive over to Tabbies and as soon as I push the call button in front of their building the front doors unlock. I jog up the stairs, reminding me I need to start working out again and reach the third floor panting for air. Wi
th my hands on my knees and trying to get air into my lungs, I look up when I hear the sounds of the locks all clicking open, the door opens and Tabbie has me in a headlock before I’m able to speak.
“Can’t. Breathe,” I manage to choke out.
She jumps back. “Oh, Knox! Are you ok? You really shouldn’t be overdoing it after what happened.” I look up at her, my eyes wide and I smirk as I take some deep breaths.
Finally able to stand up I follow her into the apartment and look around amazed at how completely different it looks from when Jade lived here. “You’ve done a great job with the place.”
“Thanks! I love it here!” She yells from the kitchen.
When I enter the kitchen, she has breakfast foods laid out on the breakfast bar and a cup of coffee sitting there waiting for me. My stomach growls as I walk over and sit down on the stool, picking up the cup and taking a sip. “I needed that.”
She leans her elbows on the counter in front of me and smiles. “Things keeping you too busy at the office or is it the site that’s wearing you out these days?” She picks up a muffin and pulls off a piece then pops it into her mouth. I grab a plate and fill it with assorted eggs, bacon, a muffin and sausage, set it down in front of me, pick up my fork and take a huge bite. “Hey, are you not getting enough to eat?”