He’d sell his soul to get one more chance. He had to get her back. She was his lifeline. His sanity depended on it.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The sky was as white as milk. Clouds gathered and thickened, as Julie pulled up outside of Avery’s Tudor home.
A burst of cold wind almost blew her through the half-open doorway. Excited cheers and boos from the direction of the family room made her smile. Garrett no doubt was ensconced in his easy chair, catching the last quarter of the football game and rooting for his idols.
In the kitchen, Julie discovered Avery, with tell-tale pony tail askew, bent over the oven.
“My, but that smells delicious,” Julie said, taking in a deep breath of the aromas of turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie.
Avery straightened. “Oh, hi, Julie. I didn’t hear you come in. Everything’s about done. Could you bring your salad out to the dining room?”
“Sure. Anything else?”
“How about the mashed potatoes? They’re set to go.”
Julie nodded and headed in the direction of the dining room. With the salad in place, she returned to the kitchen and reached on the counter for the bowl of mashed potatoes. A warm hand enveloped hers. A shock rippled through her arm. The bowl almost dropped.
“Steady. Hey, that looks heavy,” Dade said. “Let me carry it.”
She mutely passed it over. She couldn’t say a word if her life depended on it. This was too much. Why, after all these years, was she reacting like this?
It was Thanksgiving, one of the many holidays she enjoyed with her adopted family. It was time to relax. Instead, her face felt hot and her hands trembled. She needed to act normal, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Could she do it?
The transfer made, she flashed Dade a smile of thanks. Their eyes met. His were as warm as a fireplace, as deep as Lake Michigan. As usual, his dark hair stuck up at impossible angles. His jeans molded to his muscular thighs. She glanced away, but had to look back.
This was bad. Maybe keeping busy would help.
While Dade carried out the mashed potatoes, Julie glanced around and found a platter of dressing she could bring into the living room. That should distract her from eyeing Dade.
When she reached the connecting door, he swung it open. They stood face-to-face. Her breath caught. She felt like running, but couldn’t move. Where would she go? What excuse could she give? She was not a coward. She could handle this. Sure.
“On the way over, I heard the forecast. All hell’s about to break loose,” Dade said. “High winds, blowing and drifting snow.”
He was right. Any minute all hell would break loose, but it had nothing to do with the weather. Something was welling up deep inside of her, so powerful that soon she couldn’t hold it back.
“I hope the storm waits a little while. I’d hate for the lights to go out. I like to see what I’m eating.”
“There’s always candles.” Dade flashed her a look which made her heart stop.
Her mind supplied the details. The two of them were alone, bathed in reflected candlelight, maybe from a nightstand. Not here, but somewhere more comfortable, say in her bed, or his.
She glanced at Dade out of the corner of her eye. His expression was innocent. She’d probably made too much of what he’d said. He liked saying silly suggestive things for a laugh. He couldn’t be thinking the same wild thoughts.
“Well, we better get the rest of the goodies on the table,” she said in her most cheerful voice.
“While we can still see.”
They laughed. The tension was broken. He’d teased her, nothing more.
She had to eat. She always coped better on a full stomach. When she was hungry and her blood sugar dipped, she got all shaky and nervous, like now.
“Happy Thanksgiving, everybody,” a cheerful voice called out from the living room.
“I better help Mom,” Dade said, darting away.
Julie stood still, biting her lip. He’d sounded awfully eager to escape. Maybe he had read her mind and didn’t want to embarrass her. Maybe he’d guessed she cared more for him than she should. If only she could crawl under the dining room table like a dog. Then someone could just pass down a plate with food on it, so she wouldn’t have to meet Dade’s eyes.
She smiled at the absurd thought, as she also went out to greet Dade’s Mom in the hallway.
Marcia’s cheeks were rosy. Her usually dark hair and coat were plastered with a white film, signaling the start of the snowstorm.
“You’re here just in time,” Garrett said, coming up from behind them. “The food’s ready. The team’s losing. We may as well eat.”
“Thank goodness the game isn’t close or we’d starve to death,” Marcia said in a mock severe tone.
“I’d never do that to my favorite mother-in-law.” Garrett placed a welcoming kiss on Marcia’s cheek before divesting her of her coat. “You can all go into the dining room.”
“Before you disappear with that, young man, tell me where you’re hiding my daughter.”
“Where else? She’s in the kitchen.”
“I’m her mom. I know better.”
Dade rejoined them in the dining room, where Avery appeared, turkey platter in hand. Gazing at her mother, her eyes were lit with a secret smile. They’d always been close. Watching them together brought back memories of Julie’s own mother. She swallowed past a lump in her throat. If only she could get Mom back, for even one moment.
* * *
“Here goes nothing,” Garrett said, standing at the head of the table and brandishing the electric knife.
Dade sat across from Julie. She tried to limit the hungry looks she cast in his direction and pretended interest in Garrett’s finesse at carving the turkey. After that she studied Avery, who stood at attention beside her husband, gathering the slices onto the waiting platter.
“Cooked to perfection,” Garrett pronounced, depositing the knife on the table.
“Of course it is. I expect nothing less from my multi-talented husband.” Avery leaned against Garrett and planted a large wet kiss across his mouth.
“Aha, the truth comes out. It was Garrett who did the work. He must have gotten the turkey ready before slipping into the family room to watch the game. I should have known,” Dade said with a laugh.
“For that, you don’t get food,” Avery said, kicking her brother lightly in the shin.
“Only kidding.”
“Well, I didn’t do it all, but I do deserve some credit. I poured the melted butter and kept the turkey from getting dry.”
“I must say, you do have your talents.”
“That’s only a small portion of them. If you’d like, I could go into more detail,” Garrett said, leering at his wife, who looked back at him in amusement.
“Spare me, please. I’m her brother. I don’t want to know.”
Listening to the banter, Julie felt a stab of jealousy, along with a feeling of warmth. The lovebirds had been married over a year, yet they couldn’t get enough of each other.
She told herself she was happy for her friend. Garrett was a good man and a wonderful husband. It was a natural progression that he should assume the role of Avery’s confidant which had been previously occupied by Julie. Still it hurt to lose the special closeness she and Avery had shared.
She felt a little at odds. Happy couples always made her wish she were a part of a twosome. She glanced at Dade. If only some day it could be she and Dade.
Marcia took that moment to hold out the corn dish to her. Soon, Julie was so busy passing around plates and platters she had no time to feast her eyes on Dade.
After the main course, she helped clear up. She grimaced as she spread out the desserts. It was hard not to feel let down as she viewed the off limit confections.
Still, she didn’t feel right about leaving the table. She had willpower. She could resist. She had to, for her health’s sake.
Julie declined the pumpkin pie, which looked scrumptious. Then
Avery reached for the plate of chocolate chip cookies. “I live for these, Mom. I was hoping you’d make them.”
As Avery handed the plate to Dade, the tempting aroma of milk chocolate wafted through the air. Julie breathed in deeply and eyed the cookies wistfully. She was dying to take a bite, but dare not break down.
Dade caught her longing gaze. “Poor Julie, you do miss your chocolate, don’t you?”
“I’d kill for a cookie right now, but if I had one, I’d feel lousy tomorrow.”
“I’ll pass them up too and join you in your abstinence.”
“You don’t have to. Your mother made those. You should have some.”
“But I insist. Mom understands.”
As if hypnotized, she stared into Dade’s deep blue eyes. His look took her breath away. Cookies forgotten, she felt the heat rise up from her neck to her face.
“Hey, pass them over. I’ll do justice to those cookies,” Garrett said.
As the cookies and the other desserts made their rounds, Marcia turned to Julie. “I’m sorry. I should have remembered. Next time I’ll make sugar free.”
“You don’t have to change your recipe for me.”
It was embarrassing to be made a fuss over.
“You’re family, Julie. You deserve to be considered. Remember that,” Marcia said.
“She’s right and don’t you forget it. You’re very important,” Dade said, giving Julie another look that made her heart flip.
“And all of you are very special to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Why don’t you sit back and enjoy your dessert. I’ll clear up in the kitchen.”
She washed the bowls and platters, loaded the dishwasher and then turned to head back. The room turned dark. She thought she’d blacked out, but then realized the electricity had failed. It was hard to get her bearings. Where was the door to the dining room? Amazing how she couldn’t remember, though she’d been here often enough.
A warm hand encircled her waist, making her stomach do a nosedive like on a roller coaster.
“Hey, little girl. Are you lost,” a soft voice asked.
Yes, hopelessly. “Will you rescue me?”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Then don’t.” She knew full well what she was implying.
His arms tightened around her waist. She could barely breathe. Her lips trembled, straining to touch his. It didn’t matter who or where she was. She was lost and never wanted to be found.
The door from the kitchen creaked. As it swung open, Julie and Dade sprang apart.
“I’ve got the matches. I know there are some candles in the hutch somewhere,” Avery said. “Mom, do you know where you got them before? I can’t remember where I put them.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find them. Why don’t you sit down?” Garrett said.
“Well, at least we got dinner in,” Julie said quickly.
“But there’s more,” Avery said. “Mom, sit over here, okay?”
In the surreal glow of candlelight, Avery turned to her mother. Taking her hand, she said with a wide smile, “I won’t be the baby of the family much longer.”
“You don’t mean?”
“Yes, yes, I do. You’re going to be a grandmother.”
“Oh, my God,” Marcia said with a squeal. She reached over and enveloped her daughter in a bear hug.
As if to join the celebration, the lights burst on.
“Avery, that’s wonderful,” Julie said.
Marcia moved back so Julie could get her hugs in. Now Avery had it all.
Dade gave up in his attempt to reach his sister and headed toward Garrett instead. “Congratulations. No one’s paying attention to you, but I know you had a hand in this.” He slapped Garrett on the back.
“That’s not all it was,” Avery said.
“Hey, potty mouth, careful of what you say. You’re going to be a mother.”
“I’m still me. Besides, it’s a long way off. A whole six months. Anyway, we want you and Julie to be the godparents, okay?”
“Fine,” they answered in unison.
Dade’s eyes held a speculative gleam. Julie would give anything to know what he was thinking. Was it crossing his mind as it did hers that by being godparents they’d be bonded in a special way, almost as if the child were their own?
Dade’s child -- it would have dark hair and blue eyes, unless the mother’s genes were dominant. Then it would have blonde hair and green eyes. A fierce surge of possessiveness swept Julie, as if the imaginary child were hers. Dade couldn’t have a baby without her. She wouldn’t let him. But how could she stop that?
“We godparents will handle our end of the deal, but you’ve got to promise something,” Dade said.
Julie interrupted her daydream to listen to Dade, who’d turned serious.
“Sis, promise you won’t take chances. Don’t let anything happen to you or the baby. It’s bad enough with you and Garrett to worry about.”
Tears welled in Avery’s eyes. In a choked voice she said, “I’ll be careful. And thanks, Dade. I kid around a lot, but I do appreciate everything you’ve done. You’re like the father I never had.”
A lump formed in Julie’s throat. She blinked rapidly. Kurt Donovan was a sore subject. No one had any idea where Avery and Dade’s father had disappeared. One day, while his children were in grammar school and his wife at work, he’d slipped out of their lives, leaving a scribbled goodbye saying, “I can’t handle this family thing. I’m going solo.”
They’d seen him drunk too many times not to know what he meant. He loved the bottle more than his family.
Though Julie had lost her own father, at least she’d been fortunate enough to experience his love. She had some wonderful memories to fall back on and that meant a lot. Her heart ached for the Donovans, who’d not been as lucky.
Garrett, attuned to his wife’s feelings, placed a protective arm around her. “I’ll always be there for you, hon. I guarantee our kid will have both parents. And you’ll be a great mother. I know you’ll do things right, before and after the baby is born.”
Avery turned her lips up in a weak smile.
Julie caught the flicker of doubt in Dade’s eyes and knew what he was thinking. He wouldn’t be a wet blanket and emphasize his doubts, yet he was worried. Garrett’s concept of being careful was way too close to Avery’s.
As reporters, the two were addicted to drama. They lived for the beat, following their news leads relentlessly. Pregnancy would be a contest to the finish. Which would win, Avery’s maternal instincts or her ambition?
“Hey, guys, relax. We’ll be fine,” Avery said.
“That’s my girl.” Her mother gently removed a strand of hair from her daughter’s cheek and tucked it back safely inside the pony tail.
“I wonder if I’ll be a worrywart too, when I’m a mom,” Avery said. Her shining eyes belied the criticism of her words.
“You’ll be a great mother. I just know it,” Marcia said, with tears welling.
Watching Marcia, Julie felt a fresh onslaught of emotion. How it must hurt to know your husband didn’t care enough to be with you at important moments like this.
It was especially sad because in all the years since her husband had left, Marcia had never shown any interest in another man.
There were many lonely people out there. Thank God, at least Dade was here with her now. Julie snuck a sideways glance at him to reaffirm his presence.
Their eyes met. What she saw took her breath away. Right then she knew that no one else would do. Like Marcia, she’d found her man.
Chapter Twenty-Six
With goodbyes singing in his ears, Dade stepped onto the front stoop. His gaze lit appreciatively on the virginal snowfall. He was a sucker for beauty and this was a dilly. Puffs like shaving cream perched on the tree branches and nearby roofs, spilling over onto the ground, hiding the hibernating grass, transforming the evening’s darkness into glorious brilliance.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
” Julie said, slipping out to join him.
So was she. She smelled good, too.
“Yeah, people in California don’t know what they’re missing.”
“That’s good and bad. The boy who does the snow blowing for me left for the holidays along with his snow blower.”
“You’re not that far from here. I’m capable.”
“I wasn’t fishing for help.”
“I know you weren’t. The fact remains, I’m willing and available.”
“In that case, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
He followed her in his new BMW, planning his moves. He’d clear away the snow. To show appreciation, she’d invite him in. Once inside, anything could happen. Damn, he wanted her.
They pulled up beside her driveway and picked their way through the snowdrifts to the garage. Julie pulled out two red shovels.
Some women would have waited where it was warm and let the man take over the heavy work, but Julie hated being helpless and preferred to do her share. He respected her fair-mindedness and didn’t argue.
They shoveled alongside each other.
“I didn’t know Avery had it in her,” he shouted above a gust of wind.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, you know Avery can’t keep a secret. I’m amazed she lasted this long without spilling the beans about the baby.”
Julie paused in her shoveling and gave him an amused glance. “You’re right. Remember the time with the basketball? As I recall, it was supposed to be a surprise present for your twelfth birthday, but she caved in and gave it to you early.”
“Yeah, well that was different. It was kind of a mercy gift because Chokowski ran over my old one with his pickup truck.”
“That’s true, but what about the time she had such a crush on that weirdo? What was his name? You know, the one with the tattoos everywhere you could see? Avery made me promise not to tell you, but then she said straight to your face that you couldn’t stop her from seeing him.”
“Oh, yeah, she called him Heath or something like that. He always reminded me of a stale candy bar. Fortunately, the situation worked out by itself and I didn’t have to intervene. To quote Avery, his personality was a ‘big, fat zero.’”
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