by KyAnn Waters
“I have something for you.” Marion disappeared upstairs and returned with a long boa of died red feathers. “How would you like to play with this?”
Sissy sucked in her breath and rushed to take the boa from Marion. “It’s beautiful.” She draped the feathers around her neck and rubbed her cheek against the soft down.
“TJ is going to kill you,” Allison whispered when Marion sat back down. “He hasn’t seen half of what you’ve given that child to play with, but this--” She shook her head. “This Sissy will parade in front of him with glee.” They both laughed.
“I’m not ready to leave. Can I stay with you a bit longer?”
“That depends on whether you’re biding your time until you leave or if you’re giving Joseph time to come for you.”
“I need him to see me as a woman, not remember I was a whore.”
Allison looked at the dress Marion wore. “Maybe it’s time you stop looking like one. I don’t want to be hurtful, but sometimes the truth is hard to hear.”
“Allison, I’m willing to concede many things, but I will not give up my burgundy dress.” She stood and flipped her hair. “I feel much better.” She took a deep breath. “I guess I’m learning another lesson in marriage. I need to consider his feelings.” She straightened her dress, smoothing the folds. “No one has ever wanted me the way Train does. I’m going to make it right. Don’t worry.”
“Good.”
Later that afternoon, TJ returned with the doctor. Marion waited in the living room with Sissy and Michael while TJ stayed with Allison for the doctor’s examination. Whether the doctor felt it inappropriate or not, he wouldn’t have dared reprimand Mr. Bester.
“Hi.” Train stood in the doorway with his cowboy hat in his hand.
“Hi.” Marion’s breath caught in her throat. She was unprepared for his sudden appearance.
“What did the doctor say?” He came into the house with his jeans covered with black sticky mud. He tracked mud across the floor and stood at the bottom of the stairs. “They’re still up there?”
Concerned about bigger events than their argument, Marion pretended she hadn’t walked away from her marriage. She needed time to fit all the facets of their relationship together. Because he also seemed willing to set aside their differences and put pressing matters first, she said, “It’s been quiet. Do you think we need to be worried? It’s taking a long time.”
Train shrugged. “I know less than you do about babies. At least you’ve seen a few born in the brothel.” He squatted in front of her. He momentarily rested his hand on her knee, then as if realizing he touched her, he moved away and took a few steps back.
“I’m worried.”
“Don’t put the cart before the horse. First, we find out if anything is wrong and then we worry. Allison is young and strong. Both her and the baby are going to be fine.”
Marion glanced anxiously at the stairs. “I hope you’re right.”
“How are you?”
Tightness constricted her throat. She swallowed hard trying to force down the lump. “Scared.”
He tapped his hat against his thigh. “I’ve got to get back to the branding. I’ll stop by and check on Sugar later. If the news isn’t good--” He looked at Sissy watching him intently. “I’m sure everything is fine.” He ruffled Sissy’s hair.
“I’ll find you,” Marion finished. Train gave her a nod. “If I’m not here, I’ll be with Cake.”
He gave her a quirky smile. “Perhaps I’ve been jealous of the wrong man. I’m going to have a talk with the cook.”
Marion stood and put her hands on her hips. “You don’t talk. You fight.” Her eyes narrowed although her face still expressed the humorous bantering in her words. “Don’t you touch one greasy hair on his head!”
He tipped his hat in lieu of saying goodbye. Sissy giggled as he bowed out the door. “I like Train.” She turned and looked at Marion. “I was going to marry him until you did.”
“He would have been lucky to have you.” She took Sissy by the hand. “What do you say we get you and your brother cookies and a glass of milk?”
Sissy ran into the kitchen with Michael desperately trying to keep up on his chubby, toddler legs.
A few minutes later TJ found them. The color had gone from his face, his cheeks hollow. He swallowed hard. “Will you take the children to Betty?” His eyes slowly rose to meet hers. He didn’t hide the moisture glistening on his lashes. “Tell her I don’t know for how long.”
“Train and I will keep them.” She put her hand on Sissy’s shoulder.
“Marion…” A tear spilled onto his cheek. “She needs you.” He went to the cupboard and took a bottle of whiskey from the shelf.
Marion scooted the children through the kitchen door. “I’ll be out in a minute to take you to Betty,” she said to Sissy. “Keep an eye on Michael.” She closed the door and turned to TJ.
“What is it?” She folded her hands across her chest.
“He can’t find the heartbeat.” TJ drank from the bottle as if it were water. “He says he’s going to take the baby out of her.”
“Oh no!” Marion covered her mouth with her hands.
“Doc told me to get out. Said a husband shouldn’t see what he’s about to do.” His eyes were bloodshot when he looked at her. “She doesn’t want to be alone.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Marion went out the back door and took the children to the shack. The tables were deserted. Men who had sons were showing them the finer points of castration and branding. B.R. burned into the flanks of the cattle not going to auction. “Cake, TJ would like Betty to keep Sissy and Michael.”
“Sunshine, what’s wrong?” He came around the stove wiping his hands on his belly.
Marion started to cry. “It’s not good. It’s the baby,” she whispered. “I need to tell Train.”
Marion went around the shack and headed in the directions of loud voices and screaming animals. She hadn’t really wanted the image of castrating bulls in her mind. The air smelled of charred hair and flesh.
Dozens of men circled the paddock where the branding took place. Children hung on the rails of the fence watching in wide-eyed fascination as the work of a rancher passed on to the next generation. In the middle of all the commotion, her husband directed the procession of livestock. Engrossed in his work, he didn’t see her approach.
“Can’t let you in,” Charlie said, keeping her from Train. “One of those bulls gets fired up and you’ll never outrun him in that dress.” His eyes scanned the swell of her breasts.
“I’m not here to disrupt his work, but I do need to speak with him. It’s important.”
Charlie put his pinkies in his mouth and whistled above the noise. “Train, your wife.”
Train had his knee in the neck of a feisty, little calf. The branding only took a couple of seconds before the calf ran down a shoot and into the adjacent pasture. He wiped his hand on a bandana as he approached her.
“Don’t get her all dirty,” one of the hands heckled. He acknowledged the comment with a wave.
“They don’t know you’re already dirty,” he said, leading Marion away from the group. How she wished communication between them could always be easy. In front of the men, he played the attentive husband. Dare she venture into the shack, he’d be full of accusations again.
“Can you leave someone else in charge here? TJ didn’t ask me to come, but he needs you. Allison lost the baby. Her body should have miscarried. The baby is still inside her. The doctor is going to remove it. He won’t let TJ stay in the room so I’m going to be with her. I think you should help TJ finish off the bottle he’s already started.”
Marion waited for Train while he apprised Charlie of the situation. Then they quickly returned to the house. Marion went straight up the stairs to find Allison and the doctor while Train went to TJ to offer emotional support.
* * *
Train jumped onto the kitchen counter and rolled a cigarett
e. Words weren’t necessary. The simple fact that he could sit quietly and get a little corned said there was more between them than friendship.
TJ poured a glass of amber colored liquid for Train. “Did Marion go upstairs?”
Train nodded as he took the glass. “Dropped the kids off with Cake, then came and got me from the branding. Charlie took over.”
“Charlie’s a good man.” TJ looked out the window. “You and Marion seemed to have found middle ground.”
“Might seem that way.”
“No?”
“Nope.” He took another hefty swallow of whiskey.
Allison’s scream cut through the still air of the kitchen. Neither TJ nor Train took a breath.
“Stay here,” Train said as TJ made a move toward the hall.
“She’s my wife!”
“And she’ll need you in a few minutes. Wait for Doc.”
TJ bowed his head attempting to hide the tears filling his eyes. Train realized there was a good chance the next time TJ saw his wife, she might not be alive.
* * *
The doctor ordered Marion to hold Allison down. He had given her a small amount of Ether but she was beginning to break free of the induced sleep.
“I’m scared!” Marion screamed when Allison’s blood soaked the sheets.
The doctor finally had the baby and placed it in a blanket next to him. “Hold her, I’m almost done.” His fingers were sewing as quickly as an expert seamstress stitches a hemline. Taking a deep breath, he wiped his hands on a sheet. “She’ll need to stay in bed until the stitches heal.”
Perspiration dotted Marion’s lip as she released the pressure she had on Allison’s shoulders. Her face was wet with tears she hadn’t realized she was crying. “Will she be able to have another child?”
“Maybe. If she does conceive, she’ll need to rest for the entirety. Her body is damaged.”
Allison stirred, her face contorted with pain. Clammy and pale from the loss of blood and the trauma of surgery, she looked much older than her years.
The doctor quickly covered the baby with a sheet. “I’ll give her morphine for the pain. She’ll need a pinch mixed with water every couple of hours. Morphine can only do so much.”
Marion wiped Allison’s brow with a cool cloth. “Can you tell how long ago the baby died?”
“Several weeks. She never would’ve gone into labor on her own. Sometimes the body makes its own rules. Mr. Bester is worried,” he said heading for the door.
“Before you get TJ, help me change these sheets. So much blood,” she said shaking her head. “Are you sure she’s going to recover?” Please, don’t let her die.
“Physically she’ll recover quickly. It’ll be up to you and her husband to see she doesn’t let sadness take over.”
“She desperately wants children,” Marion said.
“And she will. Stay with her while I get TJ.”
Marion nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. “What are you going to do with the baby? You can’t leave him in here.”
The doctor picked up the tiny bundle. “I’ll put him in the other room.” The doctor left and Marion worked a clean sheet under Allison.
“I’m sorry,” Marion whispered to Allison when she saw tears start to trickle from the corner of her eyes. “I’m trying not to hurt you.”
“What did TJ say?” Allison’s voice was low and scratchy. “Is he angry?”
“Never. He didn’t say much. He’s worried about you.” She wiped Allison’s cheek with the cool cloth. “He knows the baby is gone.”
Allison’s whole body jerked as a fresh wave of tears flowed down her cheeks.
The door opened and TJ cautiously entered the room. Allison tried to turn away from him. She cried out in pain with the movement. Marion held the side of her face with her hand. “It’s his loss, too. Lean on each other.” She kissed Allison on the lips and stood from the bed.
She stopped in front of TJ and wrapped her arms around his neck. “She’s afraid you’re angry,” she whispered.
Marion stepped from the room and closed the door behind her. She leaned her head against the wall. Never had she been so afraid in her life. Allison had been close to dying. The doctor hadn’t had to say anything. Blood pooled on the bed so quickly that he hadn’t been prepared. His fingers had slipped several times while trying to remove the baby.
“Marion,” Train stood at the top of the stairs. He came looking for her when she didn’t return. After sharing the entire bottle with TJ, he was feeling unstable and didn’t want to be left alone in the kitchen. “Do you want to sit on the porch? I could use the fresh air.”
She put her hand on his arm. “I don’t know what to do. Right now Allison needs me and TJ needs you, so lets put our differences aside for a few more days.”
“And then what?” Not even the alcohol numbed the ache in his gut when he considered life without Marion. He couldn’t let her go back to Copper City any more than he could watch her consort with the men on the ranch.
“I don’t know.”
He followed her outside. As they sat on the swing and overlooked the property, Train used the heel of his foot to rock them back and forth. Men smoked and talked outside of the shack after a evening meal prepared by Cake. It had been a long afternoon, and now that it was quitting time, the din of the day was setting with the sun. Even the crisp late fall air, didn’t keep everyone from wanting to know about Allison and the baby. News spread like wildfire.
“All Allison ever wanted was to be a wife and mother,” Marion sadly said.
“The doctor told TJ she could still have children.”
Marion leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I didn’t realize how much I wanted her to have the baby.”
Train waved as Charlie and a couple of the men passed close to the house. Charlie gave Marion a nod of acknowledgement. “Evening, ma’am,” the other gentleman said.
“How’s Sugar?” Charlie asked.
Marion squeezed Train’s fingers. “She lost the baby,” she said. “TJ is with her. The doctor says she’ll be fine in a few weeks.”
They nodded and kept walking.
“Why can’t living be easy?” She turned to Train. “Allison works so hard. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“Never does.”
Chapter Fifteen
Marion spent the next few days by Allison’s side making it possible for TJ to assume some of his duties to the ranch. Train stopped by, but she found a reason to leave the house while he visited. Until she made a decision, she couldn’t be near him. The sadness in his eyes was enough to make her come undone. What kind of life would they have if she had to prove her fidelity daily? She needed distance to think clearly.
The wind blew through the canyons bringing with it the taste of winter, the hollow sound reminiscent of the emptiness inside. She needed to reach some sort of resolution. Maybe it was time to talk to Train.
“Go home,” Allison said, gingerly moving to the kitchen table. “You’re both miserable. I’m capable of taking care of myself and TJ is close. Betty has the children. TJ is doing the housework. Actually, Marion, you’re underfoot. I want to rest, but I can’t because I know you’re here.”
Marion laughed. “I know you’re right. I’ll go home.”
“Is home with Train?”
“I hope so. I think I’ll go to the shack for lunch.” Marion went to find Train.
“Sunshine.” Cake came around the corner of the shack and stopped her before she went in. “It’s not a good day. Your husband doesn’t appreciate you out here all the time.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze.
“That’s only because he doesn’t know what I’m doing.”
“Then tell him.” He followed her into the shack.
“I will, soon,” she promised.
“It’s already been too long.” He gave her a smile with his criticism.
Marion saw Jack the moment she entered the building. Their eyes locked across th
e tables. “You look lovely today,” he said, approaching. He took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“You are a brave man, Jack,” she said with a sultry voice. “I believe my husband issued you a threat.” She pulled her fingers from his hand. “I wouldn’t take his threats too lightly.”
“Perhaps he misunderstood.” He nervously plucked the edge of his mustache.
She spoke so low he had to strain to hear her. “I’d rather bed Cake than be with you.” She turned her most charming smile to the man who had shown her nothing but kindness. Sweat stains under the arms and food stains across his belly from where he either dropped his lunch or wiped his hands, made him the perfect example of filthy. He usually reeked of body odor and his breath smelled like garlic and onion. Cake was unique.
“If you don’t repair my reputation,” she continued, eyes raking downward, “I’ll embellish your story.” She held up her finger and thumb indicating the rumor she’d spread about him and his inadequacies. “How would you like to be known as Jack rabbit, fastest man on the ranch?”
Jack’s eyes darkened and narrowed. “You’d cut off your nose to spite your face? I don’t think so. You’re too eager to dispel the rumors.”
“The damage has already been done. Tell the truth, Jack.” She stepped closer. “I’m sure in your arrogance you think Train is blowing smoke. I assure you, I am not.”
She turned away. A few men in the group gathered around Jack. She heard their laughter when she walked away.
“You’re playing a rough game, sunshine.”
“I know, Cake. But if I win, I get everything I want.” She tied on an apron. “What are we cooking today?”
“I thought it was time you tried fixing your husband’s favorite.” He pointed his pudgy finger at her. “On one condition. You take it out to him this afternoon. No more sneaking around. I’ve loved that boy my whole life and I can’t stand the thought of him out there sulking all afternoon.”
She gave him a salute. “I don’t want to see him hurting either.”
Later in the day, Marion approached the house without a sound. She watched Train drive a post into the ground to form a paddock for him to work the new horses. His shirt was hanging on one of the completed posts. She shivered. It was too cold, yet Train didn’t appear bothered. Beads of perspiration trickled down his back as he lifted the giant hammer and gave the stump a resounding whack.