26
‘You couldn’t afford it,’ I said to him and turned back to my chips.
He stepped over to the bar.
‘I’ll have one of what she’s drinking,’ he said, and thumbed in my direction.
The bartender gave me a look that asked if I was okay. I inclined my head that I was. Whatever was going on here, I could more than handle this guy. He returned with a drink in hand; he looked much younger up close. Younger than I was.
He caught me looking and a grin spread across his face. He lifted his beer to me.
‘Cheers, then.’ He smiled. More natural. His dark eyes deep pools I could sink into.
‘I’m Seth, you?’
I looked at him quietly. It had been a long time since I had been chatted up. And that’s what this was, wasn’t it? That’s what he was doing here. He hadn’t split from his group, sidled up to me because he was hungry and didn’t have enough for a bowl of chips for himself. I wasn’t that out of practice.
‘Eating,’ I said.
He laughed.
‘I can see that, but you must have a name. I can’t sit here beside you, ogling…’ he looked into my eyes. ‘Your chips, and not know your name. It’s ever so out of order.’
He got points for trying.
‘Alice,’ I said.
He chinked his bottle against mine. The sound tinkled between us as they touched. ‘Lovely to meet you, Alice.’
Seth was easy enough to talk to. I wasn’t that out of practice that I scared him away. In fact, I found that I didn’t want to scare him away. I liked that I had company, even though I had come here to be alone with my thoughts and to contemplate what had happened today and to brood on my lack of knowledge about events after I left. Seth, it seemed, was the perfect antidote.
‘Won’t your friends be missing you?’ I asked after he’d spent fifteen minutes helping me eat the bowl of chips.
‘Nah, and if they want me, it’s not as if I’ve gone far, they can see where I am.’
I checked his ring finger and saw it was clear and no indentations where a hastily pulled off ring might have been.
He caught me. ‘Fully single.’ A lazy smile. ‘How about you?’
I returned his smile.
‘I’ve been single for a while. You’re quite safe with me.’
Seth twisted the side of his mouth.
‘You sure about that? The safe bit, I mean?’
What did he know?
Then he gave me a cheeky wink.
‘I don’t mind if it’s not so safe.’
I laughed at him. Mostly because he didn’t realise how close he was to the truth and because I quite liked this cheeky good-looking, if a little young, guy who had decided I was his type.
‘What do you do for a living?’ he asked as his group roared with laughter yet again behind us.
‘You sure you’re not missing anything over there?’ I asked him.
He started to pick at the paper label from the beer bottle.
‘You’re ignoring my question.’
‘I’d hate for you to miss something with your mates because of me.’
And I found that I would. I didn’t want him to be here if he would rather be over there having a good time.
He looked me in the eye, his own dark pools serious for a minute.
‘This is where I want to be. Don’t you ever listen to anyone?’
I moved away from him, ordered another couple of beers and returned to perch on the barstool.
He smiled. ‘So, you do?’
‘Do?’ I asked.
‘Yes, I asked you what you do for a living?’
‘Oh, I write.’
I placed the beers down in front of us before taking a swig of the one in front of me. I finished the contents quickly and slammed it down on the table, sliding it away and pulling the new one in front of me.
‘Write? What do you write?’
These conversations always made me uncomfortable. I never knew what to say or how people would react. Mostly they didn’t see it as a real job where you had to sit down and put the hours in. How they thought a ninety-thousand-word novel was written, though, I have no idea.
‘Crime novels, with some articles on the side to keep the money ticking over.’
His smile spread further across his face.
‘That’s so cool. Can you kill me off?’
I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
27
The bar grew busy, unusually so for a midweek day. The noise and bustle, though, seem to be at a distance from me and Seth. We were in our own little bubble. Ensconced in our own world, oblivious to those around us.
‘Pint?’ said one of the guys with whom he had entered, piercing the bubble as he stuck his head between us. Not that there was a lot of room between us. We were close now, talking low and engaged.
‘Not now, Nige,’ Seth said. A look of annoyance flitted across his face.
‘Can’t you see I’m busy?’ The annoyance turned into another smile. The smile I liked to see. The five o’clock shadow pierced by the whiteness of his smile.
Nigel clapped Seth on the shoulder, his elbow catching my arm. I jolted forward.
‘Crap, love, I’m sorry. I’m a big oaf. You okay?’ Nigel patted down my arm as though he had left crumbs there, not elbowed me.
‘Have you seen enough yet?’ Seth said with a laugh. ‘Because when you have you can sod off and report back to the rest of them that all is good here. Alice is gorgeous and I’m fine.’
‘Alice, is it?’ I earned a smile from Nigel.
The beer I had been drinking for the last couple of hours had softened the edges of the evening. Nothing seemed to be in sharp focus anymore. I was well aware that I had had more than I usually drank and I was feeling it. I held out my hand; if the guy wanted to meet me he could meet me.
‘Alice Friend.’ He took my hand and expelled a loud raucous laugh.
‘Is that really your name?’ He still had hold of my hand. Still squeezed between me and Seth.
Now I was puzzled.
‘Friend,’ he clarified.
I rolled my eyes. The room swum out of my vision and with my free hand I clung on to the edge of the table.
‘Yes, it’s really my name.’
Seth leaned forward. Placed a hand on Nigel and turned him around.
‘Time to go, mate. I’ll see you later.’
‘Will you?’ Nigel asked. His back to us now, but he twisted his head enough so we could hear his comment.
‘At some point,’ Seth said as he looked at me.
The room gradually sank back into focus and I let go my grip of the table.
Seth’s dark eyes took me in. I stayed where I was on the bar stool and he leaned forward the short distance he needed, and he kissed me.
I hadn’t been kissed in a very long time.
I hadn’t been kissed since Matt.
He tasted of beer and grease, his lips were soft but insistent. He smelled of summer, light and bright with an undertone of freshness, something green. His hand warm on my hip.
He eased away and looked at me for a few brief seconds, his eyes piercing me, then he leaned in and kissed me again. It was deep, his mouth parted mine and I welcomed him in. Welcomed the warmth and the need in him. His hand snaked its way up my back and clasped the back of my head. His fingers curled up in my hair. I tipped forward and slipped off my barstool and into the gap between his legs.
Eventually we came up for air and Seth laughed.
‘Do you want to get out of here?’ I asked.
‘I think we should go before we do something we shouldn’t in such a public place,’ he said.
I drained what was left in my bottle and Seth emptied his. He grabbed hold of my hand and led me out of the pub. Someone shouted out to him, he raised his spare hand up in acknowledgement but that was all they got. He had a destination he needed to be at.
Halfway to my apartment we got impatient; we passed an alley down
the side of shop and with one look we were several steps in, his mouth hard on mine, my hands reaching up his top, his skin warm and inviting underneath. Our breath was evenly matched, both hot and fast. I slid my hands down and found his belt buckle. His breath caught in his throat. His jeans strained below his belt. Then his hand was on mine.
His voice was raspy. ‘I thought we were headed to yours?’
‘You don’t have a spontaneous bone?’ I asked quietly into his neck.
He groaned. Let go of my hand and allowed me to undo the buckle.
Laughter floated past us as the leather slid out from the buckle. People were moving about near the top of the alley. We paused, foreheads together, our breaths hot against the other’s cheek.
‘We should go,’ Seth said, then gently kissed my lips before buckling himself back up.
Five minutes later I was unlocking the door of the apartment.
Seth looked around, ‘Nice place.’ He nodded in appreciation.
Lilac came running up to greet me, stopped and stared at Seth.
‘Aww, you have a cat. He’s adorable.’ He stopped to fuss her.
‘She,’ I corrected.
‘Huh?’ He twisted his head to look at me as he reached out a hand towards Lilac, who was still staring at him.
‘Lilac is a girl,’ I said.
‘Cool name.’ He nodded again.
I didn’t want to talk about my apartment or Lilac, much as I loved her, I wanted to take this gorgeous looking man to bed and to forget my day.
Lilac wasn’t making it easy for him, she was standing still and not moving forward for him. He leaned towards her and rubbed behind an ear. She accepted it.
I was standing behind him, not understanding how this was supposed to play out. Now we were here it felt weird and unusual. He was being … what? Normal? I had wanted to roll straight into the bedroom. Ignore the apartment and ignore Lilac, after all, that was why we were here.
I kicked off my shoes and kicked them under the table making Lilac jump and stalk away, disgusted with my shoddy behaviour, and Seth straighten up.
He smiled at me. ‘Where were we?’
He moved closer to me and leaned in for a kiss. This was more like it.
‘Shall we take it to the bedroom?’ I asked.
‘With a couple of drinks to replenish ourselves if needed?’ His smile was wide.
I didn’t drink a lot. Living on your own does that to you. But, I did have the occasional glass of wine, so there was a half a bottle in the fridge. I collected it along with a couple of glasses and showed Seth the bedroom.
28
He was still there when daylight woke me up the next morning and Lilac jumped onto the bed, trampling along the edge, uncertain as to who this stranger was who had taken up her space, her pillow. I must have fallen asleep and forgotten to kick him out last night.
There was an arm thrown over me which was heavy and uncomfortable. I lifted it and slid from under him, climbing out of bed.
‘Urgh, did we forget to close the curtains last night?’ He was awake.
‘I don’t sleep with the curtains closed,’ I said. ‘I like to wake up with the sun.’
‘Ah.’
He didn’t move. I pulled on a sweater and a pair of jogging bottoms. My head was pounding and it tasted as though there was a cross between a rabbit hutch and Lilac’s litter tray in my mouth. It wasn’t pleasant.
I padded to the kitchen and ran the cold tap, grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and poured a glass of water.
‘Do you have another one of those?’ Seth asked from behind me.
My skin prickled. I hadn’t expected to wake up to someone else here this morning and it had been a long time since I had woken up with anyone at all. I pulled a second glass from the cupboard, filled it with water and handed it to him. He smiled at me, his fingers lingering on mine as he took the glass. I nearly dropped it as I snatched my hand away. I wasn’t sure he noticed as he thanked me and gulped the water greedily.
When he had finished he placed the glass on the counter and looked at me.
‘You have to go,’ I said.
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’d like to see you again.’
I stayed silent.
‘Can I have your number?’ He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket.
I shook my head.
‘It’s not a good idea.’
I didn’t want to carry this on. It was a one-night thing. I had needed it last night, but he wasn’t what I needed in my life right now.
The smile on his face slipped. He looked more serious.
‘I think it is. We had a good time. I think we clicked last night. Don’t you?’
‘I don’t have space for this in my life at the moment.’ I moved back towards the bedroom and could sense him move behind me.
‘I’m not going to beg, but I think you’re making a mistake.’ He grabbed out and took hold of my hand, twisting me around to face him.
I snatched my hand back and his smile disappeared.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I… I thought…’
I leaned down to the floor and picked up his sweater. Threw it at him.
He caught it and stared at me.
‘You’re seriously kicking me out?’
‘Last night was good, but I can’t.’
He pulled his sweater over his head.
‘If you give me your number we can get together when you have things sorted.’
He was really trying.
‘I have to get on with some work, Seth.’
He looked around at the crumpled bed, at my clothes from the night before strewn around on the floor and then back at me. There was a slight shake of his head.
‘We could have had something good.’
It was quiet, barely there, but I heard it. He sat on the end of the bed and slipped on his trainers.
‘You’re sure?’
‘I have to get on, I’m sorry.’
I hated myself for how I was being with him, this was all my fault, not his, but I wanted him out and this was the quickest and probably cleanest way to do it. As well as the throbbing in my head there was a huge knot gathering in my belly.
He ran a hand through his hair, the other over his stubble then nodded.
‘Okay. It’s your loss, Alice. I had a great evening. Not just back here, but in the bar. I thought we had something. We could have explored that. Together. Had some fun if nothing else.’
I stepped aside for him and he got the message. He picked up his jacket from the back of the chair and then we were at the door. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek.
‘I had a great time. Thank you. Take care of yourself and I do hope we bump into each other again.’
Then he was gone and I was alone again.
Once Seth was out of the door I went back to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of painkillers. I had drunk more than my usual limit yesterday and could feel the effects. There was a deep throbbing behind my temples and eyebrows and a dryness to my eyeballs. With huge gulps I downed the painkillers and leaned against the kitchen worktop. I wanted to curl into a ball and stay there.
With a steaming mug of tea made, I sat at the kitchen table and tried to steady myself. It was as though my body was not my own. My limbs felt as though they belonged to someone else or someone was pulling their strings as I attempted to move them. I should not have taken to drink after the afternoon’s events. There was no need.
I had to look, no matter how much my body was rebelling, I had to check to see if the woman had made it to the news and how it was being reported. If they were suspicious yet and if I should worry.
I pulled the laptop closer, opened it up and logged in, rubbing my eyes at the glare from the screen, then when I’d rubbed them until I could bear the dryness no more I went straight for the news page. Once there I navigated to the Ipswich page and read down. And there it was.
Woman dies in coffee shop.
I
started to shake. Unsure if it was from fear of the article or if it was remnants of the night before. Whatever the reason, I needed to read on.
On Tuesday at Lilly’s Coffee and Cream, a 30-year-old woman collapsed. She died at the scene before paramedics had chance to revive her or take her to the hospital. She has been identified as Christine Rice, an Asset Manager. Her family have been informed. Police attended the scene and are investigating the incident for the coroner. Detective Inspector Heidi Thomas, who is leading the investigation, said that Ms Rice was a young and apparently healthy woman and a post-mortem would be conducted in an attempt to find a cause of death. She would like to speak to any witnesses who were in the coffee shop at the same time as Ms Rice. Witnesses can make contact with her by phoning Suffolk police quoting incident number 18965/19.
I grabbed my mug and drank. The police were involved and if they were doing a post-mortem then it was possible they were going to identify the insulin and realise this was a murder and then the game would be on. Would I get away with it or would they be able to identify me?
I bent over and put my head in my hands. It was throbbing and I couldn’t think straight. This was not how I wanted it to go. I had been stupid to go out yesterday and get drunk. It was careless. I did not want to engage in this experiment in such a reckless way. It was one sure-fire way I would get caught. I needed to be more careful and that was a good reason for getting Seth out of the house and out of my life. I didn’t need the distraction. Yes, he had been right that it had been good. We had connected, and the sex was amazing, but the path I had set myself on left no room for him or for anyone else.
My mobile phone rang and made me jump. A crack splitting through the fuzz of my head. I put a hand up to my head and grabbed my phone with my other hand.
Hashim.
Why was he calling me?
I picked up the call. ‘Hashim?’
‘Hello, Alice.’
‘Are you okay, Hashim?’
He laughed. ‘Me, oh yes, I’m fine. Why do you ask?’
‘You’re calling me,’ I said a little too bluntly.
He laughed again, not perturbed at all by my pointed conversational skills. ‘I’m phoning to ask you the same question, young lady.’
Perfect Murder Page 11