Lyfe Changing

by Desirae Williams

  After much begging and pleading at the hospital with the doctors they finally gave me an address as to where to find Derrick. I drove a little way out of the city to a lovely home that belonged to his grandmother and late grandfather. I spotted the truck I normally saw Derrick in and was happy to know he was home safe. I parked my Mercedes in the driveway and slowly got out with my heart pounding every step I took toward the door. I took deep breathes before knocking, not really knowing what to say or why I was there but determined to see this through. I knocked three times on the door before I heard Derrick’s voice. “Who is it?” I opened my mouth to speak but the words were just not coming out, it was like I had lost my voice or something. “Who is it?” He repeated more sternly this time. C’mon on Des say something, I thought. I felt like a brick was in my throat and it wouldn’t allow me to talk, my nervousness was getting the best of me. It was not long before I heard his thunderous footsteps making his way to the door. I stepped back as he opened the door roughly. Derrick seemed surprised to see me there but that didn’t change the annoyance that was on his face. “What are you doing here?”

  He asked less sternly but still stern. I finally swallowed and looked him square in the eye. “I…I heard about what happened and I wanted to see if you are ok.” I tried to flash a nice smile at him but he still seemed unwelcoming. “Well as you can see I’m just fucking peachy…” Derrick turned back into the living room leaving the door open for me to decide whether to come in or not. I gently closed the door behind me as I made my way in. I looked around the house, I could tell it belonged to an older lady; it was so nice and clean with a Martha Stewart vibe and old perfume smell. I smiled when I saw pictures of Derrick when he was younger, in one of the photos there was a man standing next him that could have been his father if he wasn’t so aged. Clearly it must have been his grandfather who appeared to be full blood Native American with his long hair in one braid behind his back. But one photo in particular held my focus; it was of a young woman with a fair complexion, long dark hair, almond eyes, and plump shaped lips. In her lap was a small child who looked more like her than she probably ever realized.

  “My mother…” I turned and realized Derrick was standing behind me. “That’s my mother…” He said again pulling up a chair and sitting down. “I figured she looks just like you.” I said with a nervous laugh. Derrick just tilted back in his chair and stared at the ceiling as if he was trying to figure something out in his head. I just watched for a minute wondering what I could say to him to make him feel better. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” “Nope…” He said still looking at the ceiling. I sighed then crazily giggled at the situation. “You’re really not going to make this easy for me are you?” Derrick finally brought his attention to me. “Make what easy for you?” I just shook my head at his stubbornness. “Derrick I’m sorry…” I finally came out and said. He looked at me and just sighed.

  “No you’re not…and you don’t have to be.”

  “I didn’t mean what I said, I just was uneasy about our relationship.”

  “Look Destiny I really don’t want to do this shit with you again…especially not today.”

  I walked closer to him fiddling with the buckle of my purse. “Look I know I have been playing hot and cold lately but I really want to see where this goes….” “Well I don’t…” He said boldly. I felt like a knife was thrown at my chest at the sound of his cruel words. “Were obviously are two totally different people and I can’t deal with your ass any more than you can deal with me so just…” Without a moment hesitation I tackled him back and captured his mouth with mine. I didn’t care what he said, I didn’t care what anyone else thought, I wanted this man and I was going to have him. Our tongues continued to mingle together building up the magic and passion that we shared. Derrick finally stopped resisting me and soon picked me up and took me to his bedroom. I laid down on the bed and watched him as he removed his shirt and jeans along with boxers. My mouth went dry once again focusing on the full length of his glorious manhood. He smirked a bit looking at my expression and came down to me slowly finding my mouth again.

  I didn’t resist when his lips found that spot on my neck, instead I buried my hands in those long dark flowing locks of his unable to control the urgency for us to be intertwined together. I felt his strong hands pull down my panties as I unzipped and lifted my dress over my head. I sat up in the bed and began to un-hook my bra when Derrick stopped me. “No…let me do that.” As his hands found their way behind my back our eyes never left each other. It was as if we could see the raw passion and desire we had for one another reflected in the other’s eyes. I couldn’t fight the need to taste those lips that I had dreamed about since the day we met. The heat between us was so real I could feel the burning past my skin to my bones as his rough hands kneaded my small breast. I leaned back on the bed letting him over power me.

  Derrick had put me in a sexual trance and I was his to do as ever he wished. I let him touch and taste every inch of my skin while his tongue circled by hardened nipples, I sucked in breath. His hands gripped and caressed my body as his mouth left pleasurable bites of passion that marked his territory. I felt him trail kisses down my stomach to my pool of heat making it boil like lava. My heart beat rapidly with every lick, suck, and kiss of my labia. “Ooooh…” Cries of passion escaped my lips as he continued to pleasure me, but I needed more, I needed him deep inside me. “Derrick.” I called for him as he raised his head from between my legs. Sensing my need for him he towered over my body and buried his shaft inside me. I tensed up a bit but soon found comfort as our bodies connected. I searched for Derrick’s eyes which were filled with hunger and lust which excited and scarred me at the same time. “I want you.” He whispered softly. “Show me.” I begged. I clung to him tightly as he continuously plunged deep into me. My body shook with every stroke enjoying the feel of him.

  All we could hear was the music of the bed shaking, the slapping of our bodies together, and the deep panting of our breath. “Aaaaaaagh…” I moaned as his speed increased making my eyes water, but instead of running from him I matched his rhythm wrapping my legs around his waist. “Hmmmm…” I heard him groan as he leaned over me. I could feel it coming, I was losing myself the more he penetrated me, being completely overpowered me with pleasure. “Derrick…” I called out to him as I felt the little ounce of control I had left slipping has he took me further into ecstasy. He gripped my hips and I tightened my muscles around him as we slammed into each other. “Oh Shit!” He cried out as my nails tore into his biceps. I felt us both release as he collapsed on top of me. I clung to him as if my life depended on it feeling the dampness of his sweaty back and hair. I had never felt this way about a man ever before in my life. Derrick was everything I had been looking for and I sure as hell was never letting him go again.

  17

  Who’s in control?

  Derrick

  I could tell Destiny was exhausted by the way she rested her head on my arm. I finally laid down beside her while we relaxed in the after math of what just went down. We rested our eyes for about a half hour but we weren’t really sleep. Destiny finally looked up at me to make sure I was awake and placed a quick kiss on my lips. I looked down at her beautifully face and could tell she wanted to say something. “What’s on your mind baby?” I whispered to her kissing her cheek. She rubbed her hand across the bandage on my shoulder and looked back up at me. “Tell me what happened?” I sighed and laid my head back on the pillow not even wanting to think about the church incident. “Nothing you need to worry about.” I murmured. Destiny scowled at me for refusing to answer her question.

  “Derrick somebody carved a knife into your shoulder and you’re telling me not to worry about it.” She huffed. I rolled my eyes not wanting to hear this shit right now, I really just wanted to enjoy being with her and forgetting about my troubles…so much for that. “Look…” I said grabbing her face with my hands gently to get her attention. “I really don’t want
to talk about this now…ok.” Destiny sighed and eventually let it go. I pulled her down to me and kissed her lips knowing that would finally shut her up.

  Destiny smiled and made her way on top of me still having a firm grip on my bottom lip. I wrapped my arms around her tightly enjoying the feel of her small body over mine. The feel of her full mouth was so tantalizing it practically was addictive. I pushed her back down on the bed and leaned over her not breaking the sweet music our lips were making together. I felt her hands in my hair as I continued to taste her mouth. My lips searched for that soft spot behind her ear which I knew made her weak and I felt her quiver underneath me as if a cold chill hit her soft ebony skin. The connection between us was so powerful it was as if the outside world was nonexistent, which would probably explain why I didn’t suspect that we weren’t alone.

  “Derrick…Derrick…Derrick are you ok, I was just about to…AAAAAAaaaahh.”

  “Woah!”

  I yelled as I threw Destiny to the other side of the bed. She quickly covered herself as my grandmother barged into the room. “Derrick…what in the hell…Boy what in God’s name are you doing?” My grandma whooped in hollered, the look on her face was indiscernible. “Oh my word what is wrong with you… Lord I can’t even deal with this…” Grandma said as she finally walked out of the room. There was a moment of silence after she left, I looked at Destiny and she looked at me absolutely mortified. I couldn’t help the slight chuckle that escaped my mouth. Destiny gave me a cold glare. “Don’t you even…” She said sternly. I kissed her neck trying to soothe her embarrassment. “Oh come on…she’s gone now.” I guess I spoke to soon because right at that moment my grandmother came barging right inside looking mad as hell. “Oh hell no...hell no, y’all get your asses out of that damn bed and put some clothes on…and to believe I came all this way home from my church bingo night to see about you and you up in here bumping and grinding with some hooker…”

  “What!” Destiny scoffed with her neck cocked at my grandmother like she was crazy. My grandmother shot her a look and I quickly covered Destiny’s mouth not wanting to start more problems than necessary. “Look you aint about to do all this fornicating in my house…get y’all asses out that bed and come in this kitchen. NOW!” She yelled at us like we were some freaky teenagers who got caught messing around. With one final I’m not playing look she walked out of the room. I turned and look at Destiny who was in total disbelief at the situation and smiled finding the whole damn day incredibly humorous. Destiny plopped back against the bed. “I can’t believe that just happened.” I just shook my head and searched for our clothes. “Well it did…now get your ass out the bed and come in the kitchen.” I said mocking my grandmother; Destiny couldn’t help but crack a smile. Man, I thought. This day is going down in the books.

  Destiny

  Derrick and I had been spending a lot off time together since my unexpected visit at his grandmother’s house. Speaking of that horrific night, it actually ended quite well. After the humiliation died away I finally emerged from Derrick’s bedroom and came face to face with his grandmother. I was a little taken back by how youthful she looked for someone her age but I guess black just don’t crack. Within the first few hours we somehow became very fond of each other…I helped her out with dinner and we talked about everything. From favorite spices we used when we cooked, to politics, even to the poor taste in women Derrick usually dated. He would shoot us a dirty looks when the topic of the discussion would be on him but we just ignored him. I was starting to feel comfortable about being around Derrick and his family… maybe to comfortable.

  We met up today and walked through the park. He was his usual self but here and there a distant look would appear across his handsome face and I didn’t like it. “Derrick what’s wrong?” I asked him finally unable to take his constant wandering attention. He looked at me shocked that I asked him that question. He looked down at his feet while putting his hands in his pockets. “Nothing girl…I’m good.” He tried to crack a smile like everything was ok but I wasn’t buying it. I pulled on his arm and sat him down on a nearby bench. He reluctantly sat beside me and looked as if he was annoyed.

  “What?” He asked rudely. I just shook my head and stared at the beautiful scenery hoping to find a moment of peace. “Derrick…are you in trouble?” He rolled his eyes and chuckled at my question. “I’m fine…” I nodded trying to hide my frustration, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t come on out and tell me what was going on. “You’re fine huh? You’re so fine that people are attacking you with sharp objects in public places.” I stared at him with concern, hoping that he could see that he could trust me with anything. “Derrick talk to me…I want to know what is going on.” He stood up abruptly and leaned over the railing. He sighed and finally looked back to me.

  “You don’t really know me do you?” He asked with a strange look on his face that I couldn’t place. I laughed nervously. “What do you mean I don’t know you…have we not been together for the past several months.”

  “Yea…but you don’t really know me.”

  “So tell me what I don’t know?”

  Derrick took a deep breath and stood tall against the railing. “Do you remember that night?” “That night,” I repeated. “You mean the night of the accident…how could I forget? It was the event that brought us together.” He nodded. “The night of the accident I was on the road… because I just got finished stealing five million dollars away from a well-known drug dealer.” My eyes widened and my throat dried at his admission. I expected to hear the worse but I still struggled to digest it. Regardless of my un-comfortability, I took a deep breath, nodded and pushed him to go on further. “That’s who I am…a crook, robber, thief…been that way all my life, even back in high school.” I could see in Derrick’s eyes he was beginning to hesitate, but I wanted the truth and he didn’t spare me.

  “Robbing people became the story of my life for years…almost second nature. It was easy for me to stay in the shadows, creep up on my target, and when they least expected it…boom!”

  He said taking his fist and punching his hand. “I would take everything they had.” He continued to watch me freeze up under his glaring eye as he explained to me who he really was. I didn’t know if I could take it, this wasn’t my world. I had never in my life interacted with a person who would do the things he was telling me he did…until now. I continued to listen as he went on. “Instead of hitting up common folks, I decided to move up to the real money tycoons…drug dealers. They were less likely to go to the cops and report drug money missing and most of them were stupid as hell anyway…The night of the accident I was driving faster than a Nascar racer trying to get away with my heist… I couldn’t believe I actually did it…I remember being so shaky, my hands were shaky, my heart was pounding out of my chest, I didn’t understand why I was feeling like that…”

  Derrick said grabbing his chest as if he were in pain. “Then I saw that semi staring me right in my face ready to knock the wind out of me…I thought it was over. I just sat there body busted up, bleeding just waiting…waiting to die.” He looked a far as if he were in another world. “It wasn’t until then that I realized what I had been feeling…scared…I was scared my life was about to end and there was nothing I could do about it… I was scared.”

  Derrick looked at me really wanting me to understand what he was saying, I didn’t know what to think, and I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was listen to him try to express to me what’s was going on with him. He started to chuckle. “You probably don’t think so highly of me any more do you?” He asked noticing my silence. I inhaled deeply licking my dry lips. Hell I had to be honest with myself and with him. I swiped a piece of hair from my face and looked at him. “Derrick I can’t pretend that I am not bothered by what you just told me… I am. But I also knew you weren’t a saint when we first met. What I am trying to say is I am not so concerned with who you used to be but what you are now. So who are you?” Derrick rubbed is he
ad as if it were aching. “Shit I don’t even know. I can’t think straight, sometimes I can’t breathe, I just remember being in those woods hurt and alone not being able to do anything about it…nobody could help me…except for you.” I stood up, walked over to the railway and stood right beside him. I placed my hands inside of his and kissed the roughness of his skin. “We’ll let me tell you what I know….I know I love you.” I couldn’t help but chuckles as his face turned completely pale white at the sound of those words. “You what?” He asked in shock. “I said I love you…you can relax I’m not asking you to say it back I just….I just wanted you to know how I feel.” Derrick nodded nervously and looked away as if he didn’t know how to react. There was a minute of silence between us before I thought of something. “Tell to you what…lets go out tonight. I’m feeling very I don’t know reckless.” I smiled. Derrick couldn’t help but chuckle at me. “Whatever you want baby.” He grabbed my face and planted a passionate kiss on my lips. I fell into his arms trying to comfort him letting him know that I was still there for him regardless of his past or who used to be.

  18

  What do you want from me?

  Derrick

  “Good job boys…you keep this up we can build our own Taj Mahal.” I joked with the fellas. We had finally completed the necessary expansion of the church and just needed to add the flooring and paint. We had worked from sun up to sun down and the outline was finally finished. “You really think we did a good job boss?” Clay asked looking at the building admiring the work we did. “Think…I don’t think I know…you guys will be licensed contractors before your twenty five.” I slapped Clay’s arm as we headed over to the picnic tables for a breather. “Hey boss man…” Lil Luther called out to me.