“What have you done?” Luz was outside, standing in the rain, looking at the bleeding man. Her eyes went wide when she saw Catrina.
“Did you find her?” Catrina reached a red hand out.
“No. She wasn’t there—” Luz looked between the gangbanger and Catrina and made an assumption. She put her foot on his tattooed neck.
“No! He didn’t shoot her!” I yelled into the rain.
“So?” Luz yelled back. “He’s one of them!”
“Tell her he didn’t hurt you, Catrina!” I sank down to her level inside the car. “Tell her!”
Catrina’s eyes narrowed. It was clear she didn’t want to care.
“Catrina—” I begged.
“Reina—don’t,” Catina whispered.
“Bah!” Luz kicked the man and knelt down, holding his eyelids up with her thumbs and looking into his eyes. He woke up then, when he hadn’t before. Seeing her looming over him, he started to talk—I assumed she was using her glamour on him. She reached for the bandage I’d placed on his leg and pulled it aside. “He doesn’t know where she is. He says he’s never seen her. Let him bleed to death like he deserves to.” I reached out and fought her for control of his leg. “Whose side are you on?” she yelled at me, fangs out.
“The side where no one dies!”
Luz rocked back on her heels and laughed at me. “It is too late for that.”
Acid flushed through my stomach. “Where’s Hector and Ti?”
She smiled, showing fang. “Your zombie friend makes a very effective human shield. They’re slower than me, but I think they’re fine.”
“And she wasn’t there?” I asked again.
“No. All this, for nothing. And Catrina shot.” Luz looked into the car where Catrina was. I couldn’t read what was written in her eyes. “I wanted to save one person. That’s it. Just one. The rest of the world can go fuck itself, if I can save this one. And they still keep her from me. There was a pile of bones there—but no girl.”
“I’m sorry, Luz.” I didn’t know what else to say.
Catrina screamed from inside the car. I didn’t know if it was anguish or pain.
“We’ve got to—” I said, looking at Catrina. If I had to pick between her and the man outside, I’d choose her. “Do you have keys?”
“No. The doctor does.” She squinted into the distance. “He’s on the way.”
Hector and Ti arrived just as sirens started down the street, ambulances and police cars fighting through the rain.
“Who is that?” Ti asked.
“Oh, no—Edie—” Hector said, looking at the man and then at Catrina. He leaned into the car and quickly assessed her.
“She needs help—but he might die. He’s going into shock.”
Of course he was; he’d been bleeding out in the cold rain. Hector pulled his keys out and threw them at me. “I’m a local doctor. I can say I heard shots and came out to help.” He shook his hand, and I handed him his emergency bag.
“In the rain?”
“I know the police. They’ll believe me. Take my car—get Catrina to County. You know where to go.”
I didn’t want to leave him behind with this mess. There was no guarantee more Three Crosses members wouldn’t come out. I almost said his real name, and just barely caught myself in time. “As—Hector—be careful, okay?”
Asher nodded, and Ti put his hand out. I handed him the keys. I knew he’d been to County before.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Luz rode in the front seat while I cradled Catrina’s head on my lap and applied pressure to her side in the back. Was it a good thing there was no exit wound? I didn’t know enough trauma medicine to know. I petted Catrina’s hair with my free hand while she moaned.
“Can’t you just—” I asked Luz. She pulled her head back, as if I’d suggested something offensive to her. “Goddammit, Luz, it’s only a little blood.”
“If I give blood to her, I’ll wake up Anna—and if Anna takes me back, who will rescue Adriana then?”
“How do you think Adriana will feel if you kill her sister?”
“Don’t,” Catrina whispered.
“You stay out of it,” I told her. Her blood was seeping up, gluing her shirt to my thigh. “Ti—what happened in there?”
“Nothing good. Maldonado wasn’t there. And the girl we were looking for wasn’t either. They seemed surprised, so it wasn’t a trap, but nothing was gained.”
It was still pouring outside. Inside, the car smelled like humidity and rain, and blood—and rot.
“Did you get hurt?” I asked Ti.
“A few shots. Nothing I can’t heal.” He pulled us onto the highway, and the rain didn’t stop.
* * *
We were silent on our way to County. I wondered what was happening with Asher, if they would keep him for questioning, if they’d find other members of Three Crosses, and what they would say. Catrina had been quiet—her eyes were open, but I could tell she was thinking, watching lampposts go by, upside down, outside the window in the night. I watched her breathing, and my free hand held her wrist to feel the strength and speed of her pulse.
We pulled into the emergency roundabout, and Luz got out of the car. “I’ll go in with her. You two go on.”
I looked to Ti. He shrugged, and then I looked back to her. “Are you sure?”
“There’s still half the night to go. I can take her in and answer any questions—or stop them from asking them.” Luz tilted her head to indicate what, as a vampire, she could do with her mind.
“Is that okay with you, Catrina?”
She nodded and I relinquished her to Luz, who picked her up easily, although she gasped and groaned. Once she was in Luz’s arms, she looked up at the other woman. “You’ll search again tomorrow night?”
Luz smiled down sadly at her. “Of course.”
* * *
Ti drove me home. I didn’t know what to say, straight up until he put the car into park. I turned toward him. “Do you want to stay here? I’ve got a couch.”
“Sure.” He opened up his door and got out. I trotted up to my apartment and opened the door. Once he was in, I latched all the chain locks again. Ti looked bemused.
“Am I supposed to be keeping an eye on you, or are you supposed to be keeping an eye on me?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. Both, maybe? I need a shower, and I need to sleep. How about you?”
“Just the one. I don’t think I ever want to sleep again.” He waved the thought away. “No offense to people who need to.”
“All right then. Dibs on the shower, because it’s mine.” And because after a wounded zombie showers, there might be … clots. I got a towel out of my linen closet and threw it down on the couch for him. “Wait here.”
I couldn’t help but think about how in other circumstances, if our lives had been different, the chance to take a shower with Ti might have been sexy. Now—no. That door had closed. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, or how, but when I searched my heart, I knew it was true. Maybe because someone else was there instead. My heart always liked to bet on the darker, more damaged horse. I sighed and looked down—my ankles still had red marks on them that were tender to touch after the snakes. At least Asher wasn’t full of snakes—just other people. I got out of the shower, dried my hair, and threw on clothes. Ti stood up when I entered the room.
“Your turn.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You can’t stay out here like you are now.” I pressed a smile on, as if the events of tonight had never happened. As if I hadn’t had my hands covered in other people’s blood.
“Okay.” He nodded and stepped around me. A few seconds later I heard the water running. I went into the kitchen and made myself coffee. There was a knock at my door.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I set my coffee down and walked over to the peephole, barefoot. Asher stood outside, looking bedraggled. I started unlatching the locks.
“Hec-tor.” I stuttered
while saying the right name. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Are you?” His eyes were scanning me, as if to make sure I was still whole. Knowing who he was inside, and who he might be after the seventeenth—I wanted to say more, but the seventeenth was only two days away. Technically, it started at midnight tomorrow night. I shouldn’t want to fall on my sword again, like I had with Ti. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he went on, worried by my silence. “I couldn’t ask you back there, but if anything happened to you—”
“I’m fine. Honest.” I nodded quickly to make him believe.
There’d been familiarity between us before, a willingness to touch each other without fear. I wanted that back, no matter who he looked like now. Screw being afraid of getting hurt.
He stepped in, and I didn’t move—I wanted him to step into me.
“Edie?” Ti asked from the hallway, emerging with a towel wrapped around his waist—and several flesh wounds visible on his chest.
“Ti—” I looked back at him and gestured toward Asher, who was perilously close. “This—Asher’s here—” I explained lamely, then swallowed. Ti didn’t know Hector was Asher yet.
“It’s okay.” Asher looked from Ti to me, and stepped back outside again. “I was just coming for my keys.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to shout out that it wasn’t like that, but I could see his assumptions on his face. “Asher—”
“Asher?” Ti began. I could see the beginning of a change on Asher’s face, as if his other form was being summoned by his name.
“You’ll keep her safe, won’t you?” Asher asked of Ti, taking a step farther back on my stoop, into shadows.
“Asher, don’t go.”
“Don’t apologize, Edie. In a few days—” He held his hand out, not for me to see anything, but because I would know what he meant. On the seventeeth his hands would be fully Hector’s … or no one’s at all. “Keep the car. I’ll take the train.” He turned and went down my stairs.
* * *
Maybe I should have run after him. Or maybe he was right. I was exhausted by too much too fast tonight.
“That was Asher?” Ti asked me. “How long has he been pretending to be the doc?”
“Seven months or so.” I stood in my doorway, looking out, willing Asher to return.
“I didn’t mean to startle him, Edie.”
“No, it’s okay. You were just trying to keep an eye on me is all. And I’m still keeping an eye on you.” I tried to sound as light as I had earlier and failed. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to help me fake it.
“It’s been a long night. You should get to bed.”
“Yeah. I should.”
“I’ve wrung out my clothes. I’ll leave them in your shower to air-dry overnight.”
“I’ll get you sheets for the couch.” I came back with them. He was still wearing just a towel.
“Edie—I’m sorry.” He jerked his chin at the doorway where Asher had been.
I held up my hand and passed the sheets over. “I don’t think I can take any more apologies tonight.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
It was noon when I woke up. The rain had stopped, but it was still gray out, thick clouds with the promise of more to come. I stumbled into my living room, where Ti was lying on my couch. He nodded when I came in.
“Did you have a good night?” I asked him.
“I remember all of it. It’s a start.” He was on top of the sheets and had his clothes on, though they looked worse for the wear. He still had the faint smell of rot. “I need to go now. I thought you should know. I wanted to stay to tell you.” He swung his feet down so he was sitting. “I think we’re going to be fighting again tonight, and I don’t want to be at half speed.”
I read between the lines. He was telling me he was going to go out to feed. If he and I had stayed together, how many times over would we have had that conversation in code? Would I be okay with it? Was I okay with it now? “Thanks for letting me know.”
He stood and started walking toward me for the door at my back. “I didn’t want to just leave this time, you know?”
I nodded and hugged myself with my arms. Better late than never. “Thanks, Ti. I appreciate that.”
“Edie—” he began, drawing up his face to one side like he was going to say something else.
I leaned back and quickly opened up the door. “You should really be going. I have to visit my mom soon. I’ll see you tonight.” I didn’t want to let him in, not even a little bit.
He sighed.
“Okay.” He nodded at me and walked out. I watched him go until the rain began again and hid him from me.
* * *
Once Ti was gone I folded into my couch. Was Asher at work today or not? I sent him a text message, one I probably should have sent last night. “That wasn’t what it seemed,” and “Again, tonight? Reina’s?”
Tonight was likely the last night we could save Adriana. It was officially the seventeenth at midnight tonight. And if we didn’t find Adriana, then I wouldn’t have any leverage over Luz, and Santa Muerte would belong to Maldonado, costing me the only thing I could trade to the Shadows for my mom. Tonight was the night. Wherever we went tonight, whatever we did—I wasn’t going to stay behind again.
I got up, went into the bathroom, brushed out my hair, and put on clothes. And then I made the hardest phone call of my life.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, honey!” She sounded happy to hear from me. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.”
“Awwww, that’s sweet of you. I love you too, dear. Are you coming by tonight?”
“No. We’ve got a meeting scheduled after work.” If I went by now, and I was scared, she’d root me out. Mothers had a kind of magic too. “But I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon, if that’s okay.”
“Sure. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment at three—come over before then, or after six?”
“Can do.”
“I always love hearing from you.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said again, and I hung up. If she knew what I was doing for her, if she understood everything that was involved, she’d tell me to stop it, that she wasn’t worth it.
She’d be wrong.
* * *
My next phone call was going to be to County—I still had their main information line in my phone. But I didn’t know Catrina’s last name, and she might not be able to speak right now besides. I put on all my silver again, grabbed my purse, and ran out to my car in the rain.
The information desk wasn’t much help when I got there, without a last name. But County was a big facility—even though I hit one dead end, it wasn’t hard to leave and loop back in through another unguarded door. I had a suspicion where she’d be at, and it was late enough that some of my old co-workers might remember me as an occasional float nurse there. Through a combination of persistence and luck, I found her in medical ICU. I waved, and she waved back, and it was good enough for her nurse to let me in.
“What’s happening tonight?” she asked slowly as soon as I was close enough to hear her.
“Nothing you’re going to be a part of. How do you feel?” I read the numbers on her monitor. Everything looked fine.
“They found the bullet. It took them a while.” She was pressed flat against the bed like someone who was on the good drugs. I knew if I started fondling IV bags I’d draw her nurse’s ire—but her pupils were wide and her movements slow. Even if she wasn’t on a narcotic drip, she’d been getting them frequently—and understandably, if they’d been fishing inside her guts for a ricocheted round. “What’s going on?”
“You didn’t miss anything else last night. I just wanted to check on you was all. Do you need me to tell your family that you’re here?”
Her dilated eyes slowly fixed on me. “Family? What family? Adriana’s all I have.”
“I’m sorry.” I glanced up at the clock. I probably had an hour, provided I wouldn’t get in the way here. I pulled up a chair. “I can’t believe you got shot.”
Her lips pulled into a low grin. “Me either. Should have been you.” I’d found the small hole in Hector’s door on my way out to my own car. The bullet had gone through the door, through the passenger-side chair, and straight into Catrina.
“Yeah, I know.” I looked around the room—it’d been a while since I’d floated to medical ICU, and a while since I was last here, period. “They treating you right?”
“I don’t hurt much, as long as I don’t move.” She stared off into space. I wondered how long I should stay, if she was tired. Her eyes closed, and I made to stand. The sound of the chair scraping back startled her awake again. “I keep fading off. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll go now. I’ll come back tomorrow and let you know.”
She didn’t respond, but her eyes closed again. Chances were she wouldn’t even remember my being here. I turned around and took a step toward the door.
“Edie?”
I turned around knowing she might not say another word. People on good drugs were sometimes like that. “Yeah?”
She fought to open her eyes again. “She left me there last night, Edie. She didn’t stay.”
“What?” I turned around and crossed the room to stand at her bedside. She was too wasted to lie.
“Reina set me on a chair in the waiting room, bleeding. She left the second after you did.”
“Are you sure?” Bleeding could cause unconsciousness. And unconsciousness felt a lot like time travel when it was happening. “She had to leave before the dawn.”
“No. I could see the windows—it was dark outside. She just left me behind.”
“That’s not like her.”
“I know.” Catrina’s dark gaze wandered around the room, until it finally landed on me. “I just needed to tell someone. It wasn’t … kind of her.”
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