Dakota

by Karen Baker

  Three years together, and their special day had finally come. Dakota didn’t want to be anywhere else. Right here, right now, living in this moment. That’s all that mattered.

  Janie and Valerie stood beside Dakota, while Rayne and Desiree stood beside Beth on this most important day of their lives. Friends surrounded them in a circle, a circle filled with love and joy. Rose petals, in a multitude of colors, encircled the couple.

  Beth dressed in a long white dress, while white flowers adorned her blond hair, and the only splash of color was a light blue garter that only she, Dakota, and the family knew about. Dakota, unlike Beth, was wearing white cowboy boots, white pants, and a white shirt and vest. She wore a matching light blue garter high on her right arm. Dakota was so nervous she was shaking. Beth was her rock, but today she noticed her rock was trembling.

  Beth and Dakota held hands while facing one another, as the Reverend Mary Jo Griggs started the ceremony. “What a beautiful day for a beautiful wedding, between two incredibly beautiful and well-deserving women. We’ve been invited here today to share a very important moment in their lives, with Beth and Dakota. In the time they have been together, their love and understanding for and, of each, other has grown by leaps and bounds, and now they have decided to live their lives together as a loving, married couple.”

  A tearful Janie said to the guests, “As friends and family, we form the community of support that surrounds Beth and Dakota. Through our presence here today, we are called upon to uphold them in honoring and loving each other.”

  Following Janie, Rayne spoke to Beth and Dakota, “On behalf of everyone here today, we promise to always stand beside you, never between you, offering our love and support.”

  “May we return to you the love you have given us, the love that has brought us together here today,” Beth returned the gesture to all.

  “And may that love, for all those here today grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year,” Dakota responded.

  Looking to Beth and Dakota, Reverend Mary Jo continued, “Love is perhaps the most profound experience that we can have. The sensual part of love is one of life's greatest joys, and when this is combined with real friendship, both are infinitely enhanced. The day-to-day companionship, the pleasure in doing things together, or in doing separate things, but delighting each other in exchanging experiences, is a continuous and central joy that those in love share.”

  “Beth and Dakota, your marriage offers you the most intimate experience of love that we know. A growing bond of affection, trust, and mutual concern, can bring you into a fuller life than either of you could achieve alone. As you share with each other your individual differences, your life together can become richer and more complete. A marriage, in such a sense, will entail uniting on all the levels of your being: body and mind, heart and spirit. Then, the longer that you are together, the more you grow and develop together, the deeper will be your lives together in union.”

  “Even now, love is calling for the best qualities deep within each of you, seeking to break down barriers of fear, selfishness, or anything that would keep you apart. This love opens a way of understanding, sensitivity, and courage, enabling you to be more responsive to the desires and the needs of one another.”

  “Remember always that love, loyalty, and trust are the foundations of a lasting and happy marriage. As you strive to fulfill the commitment that you declare to one another here, your life together can be increasingly full of joy, satisfaction, and peace. I hope that you will hold fast to the vision and the promise of this special day.”

  Mary Jo spoke directly to Beth, “Bethany Reanne Kendrick, do you take Dakota Ansleigh McKnight as your spouse in life, promising to tenderly care for her, to respect her individuality, to cherish her as she is, to love her with compassion and fidelity?”

  “I do,” Beth answered.

  “And do you, Dakota Ansleigh McKnight, take Bethany Reanne Kendrick as your spouse in life, promising to tenderly care for her, to respect her individuality, to cherish her as she is, to love her with compassion and fidelity?” asked Mary Jo.

  Sliding her eyes sideways to look at Beth, Dakota responded quietly, “I do.”

  “Beth and Dakota have prepared their own vows,” Mary Jo continued.

  Beth went first. “Dakota, I love you, unconditionally, and without hesitation. You are my best friend. Because of you, I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream again. When I look into your eyes, I see our future. With you I am whole, full, and alive. You make me laugh, let me cry, and teach me love. With you I am complete. The joy and love you have brought to my life, no words do them justice. Today, I promise you this: to love you in word and in deed; to honor the divinity in you, and around you; to be your kin and partner in all life’s adventures; and to stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will love you completely and faithfully. For what may come, I will always be there. Know my love for you will never die. As I give you my hand to hold today, so I give you my heart and life to keep, for now and forever, from this day forward.”

  Dakota looked into Beth’s eyes. She started quietly, “Beth, I love you, unconditionally and without hesitation. From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life. I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you, and respect you. I vow to care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities, and all of its joys. You have helped me become the person I am today, and with your further help, I will be a better person tomorrow. In your eyes, I have found my home. In your heart, I have found my love. In your soul, I have found my soul mate. You provide a safe place for me, unlike any other I have known. You are my breath, my every heartbeat. I am yours. You are mine. You are lodged in my heart and forever there you will stay. In front of family and friends, I declare my love to only you. With these words and all the words in my heart, I marry you and bind my life to yours, for now and forever, from this day forward.”

  “Wow!” Mary Jo said, and she continued with the ceremony, “Rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. A circle for love that is given and comes back again. Beth and Dakota, may these rings remind you that your love, like the sun, illuminates; that your love, like the eye, must see clearly; and that your love, like the arms which embrace, is a grace upon this world. And for all those in attendance, and for the world to see, please present your rings to one another and say your final vows.”

  Beth stated to all, “As Ruth said to Naomi…”

  Beth and Dakota, in unison, finished the saying together, while slipping rings on each other’s ring fingers, “Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following after you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die and I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you from me.”

  “All of you will be an important part of Beth's and Dakota's life together, and for that reason, friends and family members have been asked to offer them a blessing,” Mary Jo said. “A blessing is created from the heart, comes with our love and support, and is given over to our Higher Power as a sacred gesture. The Seven Blessings.”

  Valerie started with the First Blessing, “May the power of your love bring you health and wellbeing throughout your lives.”

  “May you have wisdom in the ordering of your common life, that you may each be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, and a companion in joy,” Janie followed.

  Then Eric said, “May you have the grace, when you hurt each other, to recognize your faults, and to seek each other’s forgiveness.”

  Desiree followed with the Fourth Blessing, “May your life together be a vessel of divine love and a symbol of peace to our struggling world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair.”

  Rayne had the fifth, “May you be ever thoughtful and
gentle, patient and forbearing, regardful of each other’s feelings and opinions, and lenient to each other’s infirmities.”

  “Despite whatever challenges and struggles lie upon your relationship’s path, may you always find life good and worth celebrating,” Amy said.

  And Valerie finished with the Seventh Blessing, “And may you discover such deep fulfillment of your mutual affection, that you may always be inspired to reach out in love and concern for others.”

  With all Seven Blessing said, Beth, Dakota, Valerie, Janie, Eric, Desiree, Rayne, Amy, and Mary Jo all responded with, “Amen.”

  “To close, an Apache tribal tradition is the final prayer.” Mary Jo was almost through the ceremony. “Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now you will feel no loneliness, for each of you will be companionship to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is one life between you. So go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.”

  “Now, by the power and faith invested in me by the State of Oregon, I pronounce you a married couple. Dakota, you may kiss your beautiful wife!”

  Dakota scooped Beth into her arms, whispered, “I love you, sweetheart,” and then tenderly kissed her.

  Mary Jo took Beth and Dakota’s hands. “Family and friends, I give you the newly formed Kendrick-McKnight family. Bring forth the love from all that are here today.”

  Beth and Dakota took the time to shake everyone’s hand before heading to the back of the closed off tent, for a few minutes alone before the festivities continued. Dakota had barely entered the small room, when Beth swung around, took her in her arms, and kissed her. “That’s for the wedding.” Beth kissed her again. “That’s for the vows.” Beth kissed her for a third time, this time more passionately. “And that…well…that’s for later.”

  “Knock me out of my boots why don’t ya?”

  “That’s what I was going for.” There were chairs so they could sit down and catch their breath before heading back out. They just sat there and stared into each other’s eyes, not wanting this moment to end. Finally Dakota said, “Okay, wife, let’s go finish this party so I can enjoy you later!”

  Beth jumped up and took Dakota by the hand. “A woman after my own heart. Until later.” She placed a gentle kiss upon Dakota’s lips and, hand in hand, they walked out of the little room, a newly married couple.

  * * * * *

  On the fourth night of their honeymoon, Dakota leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom, watching Beth as she slept. The gentle slope of Beth’s hips, her arms crossed in front of her body, the light, teasing smile on her face, reminded Dakota why she fell in love with Beth in the first place. Beth’s body was extremely pleasant to look at, but it was Beth’s eyes that captivated and held Dakota. Those gray, piercing eyes, which were the windows to Beth’s heart and soul.

  As Beth shifted on the bed, the sheet drifted down, exposing her naked, ample breasts. She noticed Dakota watching her. “Keep looking at me in that tone of voice,” Beth said, “and I’ll come over there and jump your bones.” They both laughed. Beth pulled the sheets up over her head.

  “Keep hiding under the sheets, and I just might have to join you,” Dakota responded.

  Without a stitch of clothing on, Beth rose from the bed, and sauntered over to Dakota, rose to her tip-toes, placed her arms around Dakota’s neck, and placed a toe-curling kiss on Dakota’s lips. Beth walked away, leaving her wanting more. And since it was their honeymoon, there would be a lot more of love…and teasing.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  City dignitaries, veterans, and their families, stood at the door of the four story building. Dakota, along with Beth, Janie, and Robert, stood at the entrance of the building. Dakota started, “Today is the birthday of Robert Shelby Parker and the official opening of the Shelby Parker Counseling Center. What better way to honor a fallen marine than on his birthday, the Marine Corps way? Shelby was my best friend. He died in my arms in Iraq, but today we are here to celebrate. Shelby devoted his life to the Corps and his fellow marines. This Center is being devoted to those fellow marines, soldiers, sailors, and airmen. PTSD has affected most ‘of us’ that have served during the current war across the world. It affects my family and me, but it doesn’t dictate my life as it once did. This is mainly due to the care and counseling I have received from my counselor, Janie Parker, Shelby’s mother. As a licensed clinical social worker, Janie has devoted her life to serving those who have served their country.”

  “At this time, approximately twenty-two veterans commit suicide each day. That’s an average of over 8,000 veterans lost per year. At least twenty percent of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans have PTSD and/or depression. Many counselors in the VA Healthcare system believe the percentage is much higher. Rates of PTSD are greater in these wars than past conflicts, and approximately eight percent of Americans have PTSD at some point their life. Operation Iraqi Freedom deaths total 4,412; the number of wounded is 31,949. Countless other lives have been affected by these wars.”

  “This Center will change lives, much like Shelby and Janie have changed mine. By opening this Center, we hope to provide those needed services not only to veterans, but their families too. There will be counseling services, peer-to-peer groups, and valuable skill and job training. The only thing missing today is Shelby, but by paying tribute to him, he will always live on. So with that said, I officially open the Shelby Parker Counseling Center.” She cut the big yellow ribbon blocking the front door. “Thank you for being here today. God bless this Center, our veterans, and their families. And God bless America. Thank you.”

  Applause rose from the crowd. People walked up and shook their hands. Dakota could hardly believe it was actually happening. A year of preparation was coming to a close, but she knew the hard work was just beginning.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  Ten years later, at the yearly Portland Community Humanitarian Awards Banquet, Dakota was set to receive the community’s highest achievement, the Henry Otis Walker Humanitarian Achievement Award, aptly known as the HOW Award. Dakota’s work brought the community, as a whole, closer together in support of veteran’s mental health, LGBTQI, and teen physical abuse issues.

  Her knees were shaking so hard that the table shook. Beth reached under the tablecloth and placed her hand on Dakota’s knee. She looked into Dakota’s eyes and noticed something she hadn’t seen in a while. Beth leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Voices?”

  Dakota could only nod in response. The ever so light touch by Beth calmed her nerves immediately, but did nothing for the voices.

  “Breathe, sweetheart, breathe,” whispered Beth.

  The next thing Dakota heard was, “Presented to Dakota Ansleigh McKnight!” Everyone around her stood, clapping, expecting her to walk to the stage, and give a speech. But for some reason, Dakota stood up and ran out the door. Beth rose and stated, “We’ll be right back.” Luckily, most of the crowd knew of Dakota’s mental health struggles, and that this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

  Beth found her wife in the closest restroom, throwing up. “I’m right here, Dakota, just let it out.”

  Between the heaves, Dakota found her voice, “Aren’t you…tired of…this shit? I definitely am. So embarrassed!”

  Beth wiped Dakota’s hair out of her face while she held a wet towel to Dakota’s neck. “Never. As long as I have you in my life, we’ll deal with the voices. I’m just worried about you.”

  Flushing the toilet, Dakota stretched her six-foot frame out. “Nice time for them to rear their ugly heads, but I knew the reprieve would only last a short while. The new medication is working a little better, but I still have my moments, and what a moment!” She washed her hands and face. “Let’s try that again.”

  Walking hand in hand back into the reception hall, they were greeted by a standing ovation. Up on her ti
ptoes, Beth again whispered, “I love you, Dakota Ansleigh McKnight.” She gave Dakota a gentle kiss on the lips and then returned to her seat.

  Dakota made her way to the podium. Reaching inside her vest pocket for her speech, she stopped and said, “Thank you.” She waited for everyone to return to their seats before continuing. “Thank you so much for the warm welcome and I apologize for the delay. Mental health issues come first.” Laughter filled the hall.

  Dakota continued, “Tonight…” She stopped. She looked down at her hands. They had stopped trembling. No longer did the voices invade her thoughts. Her thoughts were of the three most loving women she had ever met. Tonight was it. This was the moment she had been waiting for. Several things needed to be said. She composed her thoughts and started again.

  Beth leaned over to Janie, “She’s going off script. I’ve never seen her do this.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Janie encouraged Beth.

  “Tonight, I want to do something a little different than the normal acceptance speech. I want to tell you about three women who made tonight possible. First, my best friend since grade school, Valerie Anderson. If it weren’t for her, I most certainly wouldn’t be here. When I had my first mental breakdown after returning from Iraq, Valerie took me the VA hospital. Because of this, I was introduced to Janie Parker, my therapist, and the second woman who has made this possible. Valerie also introduced me to the third woman in my life, my wife, Beth Kendrick. It is only due to the unconditional love of these three incredible, strong women that I am her tonight. I know it takes a great deal of strength and resolve on my part, but these women have literally kept me alive. They fought for me, loved me, and fought for me some more, never giving up on me, even when I did.”