She nodded yes, because what good would telling him the truth do?
She squirmed; it took too much effort to sit still. The bench felt much harder than it had on any other day. She should have been used to it; she’d been sitting here every day for the entire four-week trial. Sitting in the place that reminded her of where she sat on Sundays—the first row, first seat—the seat of honor. What she now knew was the seat of horror.
As they waited, the chatter in the courtroom was deafening, intense. She could feel the heat of probing eyes watching her, reporters waiting to get the money shot of the pastor’s wife breaking down. But though she was on the verge, she wasn’t going to give it to them. No matter what the outcome, she would be strong for Hosea and their children.
Their children. Today, for the first time, Jacqueline and Zaya were here at the courthouse. Under guard—with Mae Frances, Mrs. Whittingham, Brother Hill, and Detective Foxx. They never left the house anymore without an entourage. That was the only way that she felt safe.
She had to bring the children today, just in case.
That had been her thought.
It had taken some time, but Jasmine had talked Hosea into it. “Just in case,” were the words that had finally got him to agree. But those words were also the ones that made her tremble when she looked into her husband’s eyes.
From the moment this ordeal had begun, Jasmine had never seen even a flicker of fear from Hosea. But when she told him that she’d wanted to bring the children—just in case—he’d blinked. And a shadow had passed over his eyes. It was there for only for a second, but she had seen it—his doubt that he would be coming home with his family today.
At that moment, Jasmine had rushed into the bathroom and cried, which was exactly what she wanted to do now. But the reporters—they were watching, ready to pounce on any outward display of the terror she felt inside.
So she just waited and calculated the odds. But like Dale had told them almost every day, there was no way to determine what any jury would do. Hadn’t O.J. gotten off ? Hadn’t Heidi Fleiss been convicted?
“All rise!”
It took a moment for Jasmine to realize that the Honorable Lynn Harris was coming into the room; she was the last one to stand on unsteady legs.
Then Judge Harris boomed, “Bring in the jury.”
Jasmine’s heart started that breakout thing again as she watched the men and women stride in, two lines, one after the other. She squinted and searched their faces, sure that she would be able to tell their decision before they spoke it aloud. But not one of them looked her way.
Jasmine didn’t have to worry about her heart punching through her chest. Not anymore. Because now it stopped beating.
They won’t look at me!
She’d seen enough Law & Order episodes to know that if the jury acquitted, someone always gave a signal—a slight smile, a small nod. They always made eye contact.
But today, these people walked in and sat down and gave her nothing.
She wanted to scream. It was over. Hosea was going to prison, and she was going to die.
She bowed her head and her heart when the judge asked Hosea to stand. Hosea did as he was told, buttoning the top button of his jacket as he rose. Dale and Nicholas stood with him.
“Has the jury reached a verdict?”
“We have, Your Honor.”
“In the matter of the People v. Hosea Bush, on the first count—assault with a deadly weapon—how do you find?”
The room was more than silent; it was still.
Then, “We find the defendant, Hosea S. Bush . . . not guilty.”
The room erupted, not so much with cheers but with chatter.
Jasmine breathed, but she still kept her head down. There was still another count—the one that Dale was worried about.
Too. Much. Time.
The judge banged his gavel for order. Then, “In the matter of the People v. Hosea Bush on the second count—reckless endangerment—how do you find?”
Again, that still silence.
“We find the defendant, Hosea S. Bush . . . guilty.”
This time, the eruption was louder, but still, Jasmine’s cries rang out. Hosea turned, reached over the divider that separated him from his wife.
“It’s going to be all right,” he whispered, without a tinge of fear.
But it was fine that he was fearless; she had enough fear for both of them. She couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, couldn’t think—about anything except that her husband was going to jail. Would he even be given the chance to say good-bye to their children before he was dragged away?
“Order! Order!” the judge bellowed.
It took a while before the room was quiet again.
The heavy-cheeked judge faced Hosea. Looked down at him over the rims of his silver glasses. His expression was stern; his eyes were piercing.
His expression alone made Jasmine want to faint.
But she couldn’t. Because of the children. She was all that they had now.
The judge said, “Hosea S. Bush, having been found guilty of the charge of reckless endangerment, is there anything you want to say to the court before your sentencing?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” Hosea responded, his voice as loud and as clear as the judge’s. He paused, then, “I am very sorry for the time and money that my case has cost the city and this court. I am sorry for the suffering of Harvey Jonas’s friends and family. And I am certainly sorry for anyone who felt that they were in danger because of my actions. That was not my intent. I am trained; I knew that no one else would be hurt.
“As I said before, Your Honor, I am nothing more than a man who loves the Lord, a husband, and a father who, on that day, saw only one solution. It is in my heart, it’s part of me, to protect my children, and that is all that I was doing. Thank you.”
That’s it?
Her heart was back, pumping wildly. Now she wished that she had written his speech for him; they should have practiced it together. Because if he had spoken her words, he would have begged for mercy. He would have cried, maybe even apologized to Harvey Jonas.
But that was a dream because Hosea would never do that. And that was the reason he was going to jail.
The Honorable Lynn Harris did not seem impressed as he gazed upon Hosea. “Pastor Bush, you have been found guilty of the charge of reckless endangerment, which in the state of New York can carry a maximum sentence of ten years . . .”
Jasmine cried out.
“Depending on the offense,” the judge finished before he took a peek at Jasmine. After a pause, “As judge for the state of New York, Second District, I hereby sentence you to one year.”
He had to bang his gavel again . . . and again. But that didn’t stop Jasmine—inside Malik’s arms, she cried and cried.
“It’s only a year,” Malik whispered.
It’s only one year. She sniffed as she repeated those words in her mind.
She could survive this. She could—and she would—for the sake of their children. It wasn’t too bad; Jacquie would be not yet seven and Zaya wouldn’t even be three when Hosea got out.
Jasmine trembled as she waited for the court officers to drag Hosea away, but then, through her fog, she realized that the judge was still speaking.
He said, “However, using my judicial discretion, I am suspending your sentence.”
This time, no words, no gavel was able to restore order for minutes.
Jasmine was not understanding and hardly breathing when the judge was finally able to continue. “I am suspending your sentence,” he repeated to Hosea, “because of what I believe are extenuating circumstances. Our prisons are designed to keep dangerous people off the streets. And it is not my belief, Pastor Bush, that you are a dangerous man. I do believe, however, that you can use this situation. There is much that you can do, many things that you can accomplish for the good of the community if you are out speaking about what has happened to you and your family. I will ask that you think about the ways y
ou can help other families, even come up with solutions . . . that do not include carrying a gun.” He paused. “So as I said, your sentence is suspended.” Then he knocked his gavel one final time. “Court adjourned.”
Jasmine jumped from her seat and grabbed her husband. And even though the divider still separated them, he lifted her off her feet.
“Thank God,” she whispered, over and over in his ear.
She held him, even as people clamored around them. She held him, even as photographers blinded them with flashing cameras. She held him, even as reporters assaulted them with questions over questions.
It was Dale who broke them apart. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. He nodded to one of the court officers, and though shouts and camera flashes followed them through the pandemonium, they were led through a side door.
As they rushed down the hall, Jasmine held Hosea’s hand. She couldn’t wait to get to their children. All she wanted to do was take Jacqueline and Zaya into her arms, then go home where they could move forward with their lives.
But then she stopped. Stopped moving, stopped thinking about the future. There was only one thing on her mind.
“What’s wrong?” Hosea asked, his tone filled with worry.
Jasmine stared into her husband’s eyes before she turned to Reverend Bush, Malik, and Dale. “I just think”—she paused for a second—“that we need to pray.”
She couldn’t tell which of them looked more shocked, though she couldn’t figure out why. In these last weeks, if she hadn’t learned anything else, she had certainly learned to pray.
Reverend Bush was the only one who didn’t seem stuck in a stupor, and he stepped toward her first. “That’s a great idea, sweetheart.” He reached out his hand and, with his other, clasped his fingers around his son’s.
Malik and Dale followed, and in the middle of that hallway, in the middle of the courthouse, in the middle of New York City, they bowed their heads and their hearts and gave praise to God. They thanked Him for His grace and His mercy, and they gave Him praise for the outcome—all of it—from Jacqueline to the verdict. This ending wasn’t perfect, but it was faithful.
Never had Jasmine been through something that was so life changing. No longer was she going to think of the former things, the old parts and ways of her life. Tragedy had truly turned her to Christ. And all she wanted to do now was love Him, love Hosea, and love her children.
As Reverend Bush continued their prayer, Jasmine thought of the scripture that he’d given her at church the day Jacqueline had been found. It had taken her a couple of days to look up that verse, but once she had, she had stood on those words daily.
James 5:16 was the truth—the effective, fervent prayer of the righteous man did avail much! Look at what prayer had availed for her.
When Reverend Bush finished with “Amen,” they all said the same.
She squeezed Hosea’s hand, then glanced back at the closed door that led to the courtroom. This horrible part of their lives—from Jacqueline’s abduction to the court case—was over.
The end!
But then, with just a little tug, Hosea made her look forward. Made her look at him. Made her smile and think not about endings, but what was surely their tremendous new beginning.
TOUCHSTONE READING GROUP GUIDE
* * *
Sins of the Mother
After years of lying, cheating, scheming, and stealing, Jasmine Larson Bush has finally settled into a drama-free life as the first lady of one of the largest churches in New York City. She and her husband Hosea have been blessed with the best of everything and have two beautiful and happy children. But just when Jasmine thinks her troubles are over forever, her daughter Jacqueline is kidnapped at a mall in broad daylight. The police and the church community join in a frantic search to find the four-year-old, but as the days pass with no sign of her daughter, Jasmine begins to crack under the pressure. In her despair she turns to Brian Lewis, Jacqueline’s biological father, for solace. As her nerves and her marriage are stretched to the limit, Jasmine wonders if she is being punished for her past sins. Will she and her family pay the ultimate price?
For Discussion
1. Reverend Bush tells Hosea: “Son, I told you before not to judge Jasmine and her grief. Maybe I should have reminded you not to judge yours either. You’re more action oriented—you take charge and do something. Jasmine is more introspective. She’s probably trying to figure out what’s happening to Jacquie every moment of every day. Neither of you is wrong; neither of you is right.” How are Jasmine’s and Hosea’s reactions to their tragedy each valuable? How might these reactions also be destructive?
2. How can loss create rifts between people? Consider some of the issues that Jasmine and Hosea may have had before that reappear as a result of Jacquie’s disappearance.
3. After Brian’s last visit to his therapist he decides not to return and tells Alexis he is “cured.” Do you think there is actually a cure for his problem? Why does he decide not to go back? His therapist warns him, “Be careful. I told you before, don’t make Alexis your new addiction.” Do you think Brian makes Alexis his new addiction, or is he simply expressing his love for her?
4. How would you describe Brian and Alexis’s relationship? Why does she forgive Brian after all he has put her through? Do you think she can really trust him again?
5. In Hosea’s first sermon after Jacqueline’s kidnapping, he discusses the issue of why bad things happen to good people. This is an issue that many people grapple with. How are you able to come to terms with bad things happening to good people and good things happening to bad people? How does Hosea’s faith help him through the situation?
6. How does Jacqueline’s kidnapping bring Brian closer to Alexis? How does it change them both?
7. Consider how Jasmine treated Mae Frances after the kidnapping. Do you think her behavior was justified? Was she too hard on Mae Frances?
8. When Jasmine visits City of Lights at Riverside Church she gets down on her knees to pray. “In the past, she’d knelt on her knees, even closed her eyes and lowered her head. But today she was bowing her heart. For the first time.” What does this passage mean? How is this a transformative experience for Jasmine?
9. Reverend Bush tells Jasmine, “‘Thank Him for His grace, but thank Him even more for His mercy.’ His words reminded her of the first sermon she’d ever heard him preach, when he’d taught the difference between grace and mercy. She hadn’t truly understood then, but in the years that she’d been part of the Bush family, she’d gained an understanding.” What does this passage mean? What is the difference between grace and mercy?
10. Do you agree with Hosea’s decision to take the law into his own hands? Do you agree with the sentence he received? How might his behavior have been justified? Or was it inexcusable? How does his behavior in court help his case?
11. When Jasmine sees Brian in the courthouse, “there was nothing there, not a bit of care—certainly nothing that came close to lust or love. She couldn’t believe it—then, just shrugged it off. She’d been sick out of her mind—that’s why she’d turned to Brian. And when Jacqueline had come home, so had her good sense.” Based on her history with Brian, do you think her feelings were really simply a matter of losing her senses? Why else might Jasmine have developed feelings for Brian again?
12. Do you think that the relationship Brian and Alexis end up in is a healthy one, particularly after his struggle with addiction? Where do you see their relationship going?
13. What do you think lies ahead for the Bush family, considering the horrific circumstances of Jacquie’s kidnapping? At the end of the novel Jasmine is thinking “not about endings, but what was surely their tremendous new beginning.” What are some of the positive and negative aspects of the new beginning the Bush family is about to face?
14. What are the main themes of this novel? Did you find relevance to your own life in these themes?
15. Share some of your favorite scenes and dialogue
from the novel.
16. If you’ve read previous books featuring Jasmine, were you able to sympathize with her less or more in this book? How has she changed? What do you like and dislike most about her?
A Conversation with Victoria Christopher Murray
Kidnapping and child abuse can be difficult to read about. Was this a difficult book to write, particularly the parts about what happened to Jacqueline? Did anything in particular inspire you to explore this topic?
This was a tough, tough book to write, but it’s a subject that has intrigued me for a long time. I lived in New York in the late seventies or early eighties when a young boy by the name of Etan Patz disappeared. It was the first time any of us had heard about a child disappearing. (Unfortunately, it’s all too common now.) I remember praying for days and weeks for this young boy, and especially for his family. I couldn’t imagine how his mother put her head down every night. And since he was never found, I couldn’t imagine how she was able to move forward with her life. It was a subject that I wanted to explore.
After writing a number of books about Jasmine, she must be very close to your heart. How did you come up with this character? Is she based on anyone you know? Do you take any of your characters from real life?
Interestingly enough, Jasmine is not at all close to my heart. I never wanted to write even a second book about her, and definitely not a third or fourth. As she does for most readers, Jasmine got on my nerves—a lot! She’s not based on anyone I know, but as I continued her story through my novels, people told me that they often saw themselves in her. That’s a hard thing to admit, but I do believe there are parts (small parts) of Jasmine in all of us—a woman who is just trying to do good, but is always dragged back (by her own behavior) to what’s familiar. And no, I don’t take characters from real life. Are you kidding me? My imagination is so much more interesting than my friends.
What are you working on now? Are more Jasmine books in the works?
I thought I made it perfectly clear at the end of Sins of the Mother that there will be no more Jasmine books! She is over. At least in her own stand-alone books. I am thinking about doing collaborations with a couple of other authors, and Jasmine may show up in those books. But she will never be the major character in my books again. I am so glad to be working on and discovering new characters. My next book, The Cougar, introduces the readers to characters they’ve never met before. And that’s all I’m going to say.
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