4.Don’t hang on him too possessively.
5.Don’t have him fetch and carry just to create an impression.
6.Make up if you like, but do not try to make over what you are.
7.Be popular with girls as well as boys.
8.Learn to like sports—it’s an all-American topic in which boys are interested.
9.Don’t be too self-sufficient; boys like to feel needed.
10.Be natural.
The average cat brain is as big as a marble; the average ostrich’s eyes are as big as tennis balls.
MYTH AMERICA
Do you think all cowboys in the Old West looked like John Wayne? Here’s some info about at least one important difference.
THE MYTH
All the cowboys in the American West were white.
BACKGROUND
Most of what Americans “know” about the Wild West comes from movies, TV, and popular authors. For years, these media have portrayed the Old West as virtually lily-white.
For example: Seven of the top 10 television shows of the 1958-1959 season were Westerns: Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, Have Gun Will Travel The Rifleman, Maverick, Tales of Wells Fargo, and Wyatt Earp. All of them featured all-white regular casts.
Hollywood even went so far as to cast white actors to play the parts of real-life black cowboys, as in the 1951 film Tomahawk. The film featured Jim Beckwourth, a legendary black frontiersman... but the part was played by Jack Oakie, a white actor.
THE TRUTH
Nearly one in three cowboys in the American West were black, with the ratio higher in some states. Oklahoma, for example, saw 30 all-black towns spring up between 1890 and 1910, and 26 of the first 44 settlers of Los Angeles were black.
In fact, many of the most celebrated American cowboys were black, including:
• Bill Pickett, a rodeo star who toured under the name Will Pickett the Dusty Demon. He was a huge rodeo star in the early 1900s (Will Rogers was one of his early assistants) and starred in several silent films. He also invented the sport of “bulldogging”—wrestling a bull to the ground by its horns—although his preferred method, biting the bull’s lip as he threw it to the ground, never caught on with other rodeo stars.
• Nat Love, also known as “Deadwood Dick,” was a unique character who got his start as a cowboy in Dodge City at the age of 15 and went on to become a rodeo star. A friend of the famous lawman Bat Masterson, Love boasted of having 14 bullet wounds, and was famous for an incident in a Mexican bar in which he ordered drinks for his horse.
Good news? Marriages lasting more than 13 years are more likely to end in death than in divorce.
• Cherokee Bill, an Indian scout and notorious outlaw who in his day was as well known as Billy the Kid. His luck was just about as bad as Kid’s was, too: His run-ins with the law resulted in his being hanged one month shy of his 20th birthday.
• Mary Fields, better known as Stagecoach Mary, a “strapping 6-footer who never shied from a shootout. A fearless mail carrier while in her 60s, she spent much of her final years in a Cascade, Montana, saloon playing cards with the boys.”
• Isom Dart, a former slave who became famous as a rodeo clown, cattle rustler, prospector, and broncobuster.
BLACK WESTERNS
Hollywood has, on occasion, featured blacks in Westerns, but the depictions have rarely been historically accurate. The ’30s and ’40s saw a spate of cowboy ‘race’ films, including Bronze Buckaroo and Harlem Rides the Range; the ’60s saw some racially relevant Westerns like Major Dundee and The Professionals... and the “blaxploitation” wave of the ’70s even resulted in some patronizing black Westerns, the worst of which was probably The Legend of Nigger Charlie.
In the 1980s it became common to cast blacks in Westerns without referring to their race in the film, but it wasn’t until the 1990s—when independent black filmmakers began directing their own Westerns—that films like Mario Van Peebles’s Posse (1993) began to feature blacks as they really were in the West, a development that has been lauded by filmmakers, historians, and sociologists alike. “It’s so important that the West be pictured as it was, not some lily-white John Wayne adventure story,” says William Loren Katz, author of The Black West and Black People Who Made the Old West. “Books make it seem like, after the Civil War, blacks went home and went to sleep and didn’t wake up until Martin Luther King. A whole heritage has been lost to generation after generation of schoolchildren, black and white.”
American tables are set with salt and pepper; in Hungary it’s salt and paprika.
ROBIN’S RAVINGS
Crazy comments from comedian Robin Williams.
On Princess Di: “She is exquisite. She is porcelain. She has that look, like some incredible cocker spaniel.”
“I love San Francisco. It’s a human game preserve.”
When asked if he had a political consciousness during the Vietnam War: “I had only a genital consciousness during those years.”
“The French are going the Americans one better with their Michelin bomb: it destroys only restaurants under four stars.”
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.”
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
WILLIAMS: Next thing I knew, I was in New York.
INTERVIEWER: Was that a heavy adjustment for you to make?
WILLIAMS: I was the walking epitome of furshirrr meets yo’ass. On my first day in New York, I went to school dressed like a typical California kid: I wore tie-up yoga pants and a Hawaiian shirt, and I kept stepping in dog shit with my thongs.”
On Ronald Reagan: “I still think Nancy does most of his talking; you’ll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.”
“The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material.”
On birth: “She’s screaming like crazy....You have this myth you’re sharing the birth experience. Unless you’re passing a bowling ball, I don’t think so. Unless you’re circumcising yourself with a chainsaw, I don’t think so. Unless you’re opening an umbrella up your ass, I don’t think so.”
“What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.”
“Death is nature’s way of saying ‘Your table is ready.’”
Uneven stats: There are about 10,700 births and 5,700 deaths every day in the United States.
KNITTING WITH
DOG HAIR
When we heard about this “hobby,” we couldn’t believe it. But sure enough, it’s real. First we found a book called Knitting with Dog Hair, by Kendall Crolius...then several web pages on the subject. All are apparently serious, so here are some ideas if you’re interested in “Putting on the dog.”
MY DOG HAS FLEECE
“Let’s be honest,” writes Kendall Crolius in her book Knitting with Dog Hair. “Everything in your house is probably covered with a fine coat of pet hair. Now all that fuzz that used to clog up your vacuum cleaner can be put to good use. In fact, you’ll probably want to brush your dog more often—you’ll not only have gorgeous new clothes but a better-groomed pet and a cleaner house.”
Gorgeous new clothes? Is she really suggesting we make clothes out of dog hair? You bet. And why not? After all, before there were sheep in Scandanavia and on the American continent, there were canines. While other animals were killed for their fur, prehistoric natives on both continents considered dogs too valuable as hunters and companions for that. So, she informs us, they saved dog hair and knitted it into fabrics.
PUBLIC OPINION
Dedicated dog hair knitters have learned from experience that other people think they’re weird.
“When you first tell your friends that the garment you’re wearing was previously worn by your dog, you’re bound to get some raised eyebrows, not to mention a few shrieks of horror,” Crolius writes. That’s why most of them have learned that it’s a better idea not to say “dog hair” at all when showing off a new hand-knitted sweater. After all, most people immediat
ely think of fleas, itching and doggy smells when they think of canine fur.
Some even ask, with eyes wide, “How many dogs have to be killed to make a sweater?”
Q: What kind of wood is used to make Scrabble letters? A: Vermont Maple.
DOG HAIR BY ANY OTHER NAME SMELLS AS SWEET?
• Faced with such reactions from friends, family and neighbors, knitters have dealt with the issue...by avoiding it—they’ve come up with a new name.
• Combining the French word for “dog” with the name of another natural hair fiber, angora, they’ve coined a fashion euphemism that’s nearly as good as the day that furriers discovered that “ermine” sounds more luxurious than “white weasel.” The new name for dog-hair creations...“Chiengora.”
• In fact, in her Merry Spinster web page, Patty Lee Dranchak insists that dog hair should be considered a luxury fiber, like all the others that come from humble origins including cashmere and angora (goat) and mohair (rabbit).
Reasons to Bark
• The hardcore dog-lovers who practice the art have created sweaters, hats, mittens and pantsuits from the hair of their beloved pets.
• They report that chiengora is—to quote Dranchak—“soft and fluffy, lovely and lustrous, incredibly warm and it sheds water. This furry look just seems to invite touching. Wearing it invites comments, questions and even an occasional pat on the back to see if it is really as soft as it looks.”
• Besides that, Dranchak says, dog lovers have sentimental reasons: “By having a pet’s hair spun, dog lovers will always have a part of their treasured companion with them—a reminder of the love, loyalty and good times they shared together.”
• Jerilyn Monroe, who makes yarn out of her half-wolf dogs, agrees: “Having a scarf, blanket or hat made from a special pet can be a lovely way to remember them.”
A SHAGGY DOG YARN
• The key to knitting with dog hair is its length. “Rule number one is that you should never shear, cut, or shave fur from your pet,” says Crolius. “Not only would such a radical approach seriously humiliate your companion and render him exceedingly unattractive, it is counterproductive. To spin a really nice yarn, you need the longest, softest fibers your pet can grow. It’s best if the hair is two inches or longer if you want a pure chiengora yarn, so collies, Afghans, poodles, samoyeds, golden retrievers, sheepdogs and huskies work better than basset hounds or chihuahuas.”
The stirrup, the tiniest bone in your body (it’s in your ear), is smaller than an ant.
• Shorter hair has to be blended with wool, silk or other fibers to hold it together. “Properly blended and spun, it’s difficult to tell that the resulting yarn isn’t all dog hair,” observes Dranchak.
THE HARVEST
However, unlike sheep, you don’t shear your dog—you merely collect hair from brushes and combs. So even with the hairiest dog, it can take several years to collect enough hair for a major project like a sweater or a blanket.
• After you gather it, you should store it dry in a paper bag—never plastic, say some dog hair experts.
• However, other experts disagree, saying it should be stored tightly sealed in a plastic bag to keep out fleas and moths. “Moths love dog hair,” says one, who recommends zip-lock bags.
• Regardless, paper grocery bags make a good standard of measure: a knitted sweater takes about two bags, a vest about one and a hat about 1/3 of a bag. Crocheting adds another 33% for each garment; weaving about 33% less.
WARP AND WOOF...WOOF...WOOF
• Once you have your big bags of hair, how do you turn it into yarn? Dog hair requires gently hand-spindling with a weighted drop spindle—none of these newfangled machines like the spinning wheel. The result comes from twisting the hairs around each other.
• The good thing about fibers like dog hair is that if the yarn breaks, you just fluff up the end and begin again, adding fibers. “This is a craft that the whole family can participate in,” suggests Crolius. “The younger kids can help brush the dog, and the older kids can help prepare the fiber for spinning. It’s a terrific way to spend time together.”
ODDS & ODDS
• If you have a multi-colored dog, experts suggest keeping the colors somewhat separate to give an interesting graduated color effect.
• Mixing the hair together yields a uniform gray-beige color
• Like the dogs it came from, dog-hair garments should be hand-washed—not thrown into a washing machine. Unlike the dogs, the fabrics can be dry-cleaned. Dog-hair garments can last 20 years.
The automobile “population” of Seoul, South Korea, increases by 800 cars every day.
IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD
IDEA AT THE TIME
What if they minted a coin and no one would use it? That’s what happened with the Susan B. Anthony dollar.
BACKGROUND
In the mid-1970s, the demand for dollar bills was increasing at a rate of about 10% a year. Each bill cost the government 2¢ to make...but lasted only about 18 months. Treasury officials figured they could save taxpayers about $50 million a year if they replaced the $1 bill with a $1 coin—which would last about 14 years and cost only 3¢ to make. They were confident that the American public would make the change.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Responding to the political currents of the mid-’70s, U.S. Mint officials told chief designer Frank Gasparro to draw a portrait of a woman for the proposed new dollar coin. “I decided to draw Miss Liberty,” he says, “but they told me they didn’t want Miss Liberty. It had to be Susan B. Anthony.” Gasparro had no idea what Anthony, an activist for women’s rights in the late 1800s, looked like. So he went down to the local newspaper and looked at the photograph files. They contained two portraits of Anthony: one taken at the age of 28, and the other at age 84. “I chose the younger one,” he recalls. “She was a very attractive woman at 28.”
But feminists complained that it was “too pretty.” So Gasparro drew a new portrait of Anthony, trying to approximate what she looked like in middle age. He gave her a square jaw, a hooked nose, a heavy browline, and a drooping right eye. Though he succeeded at his task (hardly anyone accuses the Susan B. Anthony dollar of being “too pretty” anymore), he had reservations about the final design. But the U.S. Treasury approved it.
DAMSEL IN DISTRESS
Introduced on July 2, 1979, the Susan B. Anthony dollar was an instant failure. Everybody hated it—people said it was too small to be a dollar and too ugly to represent the United States.
Twenty-five percent of U.S. prescription drugs contain compounds from plants.
But the biggest problem with the coin was that it looked and felt like a quarter. Many businesses refused to accept them, fearing that cashiers would mistake them for quarters and give them away as change.
STOPGAP MEASURES
Government officials fought hard to keep the coin alive, spending more than $600,000 on a nationwide campaign to increase public acceptance. Then they brought in a New York public relations firm to help—the first time in history that a coin had to be promoted. But it was hopeless. “Our job was to get the good story out about the coin,” said a spokesman for the PR firm,
But we made a false assumption. We assumed that there would be good stories to get out. There weren’t. We were looking for any little piece of good news about the coin, so we could feed it to the networks and the wire services. The stories didn’t have to come from big cities; we were looking for the little town that decided to pay everyone in Susan B. Anthony coins—that kind of thing. We’d take anything. Spokane, San Luis Obispo, Dover-Foxcroft, Mobile...our feeling was that as soon as something good happened, we could start to build a success. But nothing good ever happened. Anywhere.
FEMME FATAL
By the time production was halted in the spring of 1980, more than 840 million coins had been minted...but only 315 million had made it into circulation. “There is an extraordinary amount of resistance to this coin,” a U.S. Mint official admitte
d. “As far as I can tell, it isn’t being accepted anywhere.”
Esquire magazine reported in April 1981 that, “Most Americans refuse to carry the coins. Bank tellers and cashiers in stores have learned not to even try to give them out as change; people won’t take them. People...don’t even like to touch them.”
The Treasury department suspended production in 1981, estimating they had enough of them on hand to last 40 to 50 years.
“I think we will just let sleeping dogs lie,” the Secretary of the Treasury said.
The world’s five smallest countries would easily fit inside of Walt Disney World.
PIRATE LORE
We’ve all got an idea of what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700s—but a lot of it is pure Hollywood hooey. Here are a few of our most common misconceptions about pirates...and the truth about them.
NICKNAMES
Why did so many pirates have colorful nicknames like “Blackbeard” and “Half Bottom”? The main reason was to prevent government officials from identifying and persecuting their relatives back home. (How did “Half Bottom” get his nickname? A cannonball shot half his bottom off.)
WALKING THE PLANK
Few (if any) pirate ships ever used “the plank.” When pirates took over a ship, they usually let the captured crewmembers choose between joining the pirate crew or jumping overboard. Why go to all the trouble of setting up a plank to walk off? As historian Hugh Rankin put it: “The formality of a plank seems a bit absurd when it was so much easier just to toss a prisoner overboard.”
BURIED TREASURE
Another myth. No pirate would have trusted his captain to bury treasure for him. According to pirate expert Robert Ritchie, “The men who turned to piracy did so because they wanted money. As soon as possible after capturing a prize they insisted on dividing the loot, which they could then gamble with or carry home. The idea of burying booty on a tropical island would have struck them as insane.”
Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader Page 58