by Fiona Harper
Look at her! Where had the clenched little ballerina he’d shared a helicopter ride with gone? Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were shiny. In a sudden burst of clarity he understood why some people paid hundreds of pounds just for the pleasure of watching her all evening.
He realised that even though he’d thought she was beautiful when she danced, he hadn’t known anything. This was way better, because this time he wasn’t just a spectator, but a participant. They’d joined together and she’d taken him with her on her leap into uncharted territory.
And, as the pounding of his heart subsided, as he watched her standing there, silent now, eyes closed, face to the sun, he realised something else—he very badly wanted to kiss her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
FINN was staring at her, shock written on every single feature, but it was quickly erased and replaced by a frown. Allegra’s stomach felt as if it had plummeted to the bottom of the small cliff. Had she gone too far?
She must have done. Look at his face.
No one who knew the reserved, quiet, unapproachable Allegra Martin back in London would have believed she would have even raised her voice, let alone yelled until her throat was sore and then laughed like a crazy woman.
Maybe she was having a breakdown.
Yes, that must be it. How else could she explain running away to spend a week on a desert island in the middle of a production? And all the not-Allegra type things she’d done since?
But how could this be madness? How could this be wrong? She’d never felt so free. And if sanity was what she’d had before, she wasn’t sure she wanted it back.
She looked at Finn. Instead of the confident, can-do-anything grin he normally wore, his mouth was slightly open and he was looking a little pale. Did he think that what she’d just done had wandered from fun into something…well, more diagnosable? Was that why he’d gone so quiet?
‘Finn, are you okay?’
No mischievous grin, no witty comeback. He merely nodded and turned to face the four men standing on the other end of the rocky peak. ‘Time we got back down to camp and started thinking about food for this evening.’
And then he scrambled down the rocky slope without waiting for her or the crew. It was almost a full two minutes before they caught up with him.
He was weird all the way back to camp, too. Didn’t point out one edible or medicinal plant en route, or catch large wriggling insects and hold them up to the camera. Just kept walking until his feet met sand, and then he threw his boots off and marched into the sea, fully clothed.
Allegra put her hands on her hips and watched him swim furiously until he reached the little rock island with the tree on top, where he hauled himself out of the water and sat down under the sparsely leaved branches and stared out to sea.
Nobody followed him. Not even Dave. To be honest, from the way the crew were looking at each other and shuffling from foot to foot, she’d guess they were just as puzzled as she was.
Maybe she wasn’t the only one going bananas.
He stayed on the island for half an hour. Until he felt a little bit closer to normal. If he hadn’t had to worry about a filming schedule and a celebrity guest star, he might have stayed out there all night.
Where on earth had that come from?
One minute he’d been excited about his protégé’s progress, about her courage to do something way beyond her comfort zone, and the next…?
Well, it hadn’t been an eager student standing beside him, but a captivating woman, one who had so much more potential than she realised, and his testosterone had gone into overdrive. All she’d done was smile at him, and he’d been able to see the thrill of new experiences fresh on her lips, and he’d wanted to share it, to taste it.
And then he hadn’t felt as if he was flying any more, but falling. Into a big dark hole with no way out. That was when he’d started running.
Whatever was going on here was definitely not a good idea.
He’d only just been dumped by his long-term fiancée. Chances were that this was probably just a rebound thing—a reflex. A long-buried caveman instinct to prove himself by finding another woman. Not very evolved, to be sure. But, hey, he was a guy. Not much he could do about that.
He stood up, brushed down the back of his trousers and looked back towards the beach.
It wouldn’t be a good idea to pursue this thing with Allegra.
He had a job to do. And they were in each other’s company every hour of every day for the rest of the week. Hothouse conditions. The result was spectacular, yes, but things were unnaturally accelerated in that kind of environment. There’d be no breathing room, no escape, if things got out of control. Better to leave well enough alone. For both their sakes.
That sorted in his head, he decided he was ready to go back to the beach and face the crew.
What about Allegra? a little voice inside his head said.
What about her? She’s a female of the species, yes. I’ve noticed that now. But I’m not so devoid of self-control that I can’t spend time with her without behaving myself. All I can ever share with her is my skills, my training. And I can share the next three days on this island with her and that will be that.
Good luck with that, the voice said.
Finn ignored it.
He jumped into the turquoise water and swam back to shore at a leisurely pace.
Allegra was collecting firewood. The rest of the crew seemed to be occupied, but the atmosphere was a little too incurious, a little too nonchalant. However, at this present moment, nonchalance suited him just fine, so he went with it.
Dave was the only one to show concern. Trust Dave. Couldn’t he have grumbled about the unexpected jog through the jungle back to the beach?
‘You okay?’ he said.
‘Fine,’ said Finn, grinning. His face felt artificial. ‘You know me. I’m a bit of a loner at times, and I just needed a bit of solitude to recharge my batteries. All charged up now, though…’ And then he surprised himself by dancing around like a boxer to prove it, even jabbed Dave playfully on the shoulder. What was he doing?
‘Yippee,’ Dave said, returning to normal. He gave Finn a look that said, Try that again, mate, and you’ll be fish food.
‘Okay,’ Finn said, clapping his hands together, aware his voice was very loud in his own ears. ‘Next thing we’re going to do is take a more in-depth look at cordage, what kind of ropes can be made from the plants that occur naturally in a habitat like this.’
The crew mumbled out a sarcastic cheer.
Finn turned to the woman he’d avoided looking at so far, who was crouching on the ground, piling kindling for that evening’s fire. ‘Allegra?’
His heart began to thump. Don’t think about it, he told himself.
His smile stayed fixed on his lips and he managed to do just that. For a few seconds. Allegra looked up at him with those big, transparent, unblinking blue eyes. His gaze slid to her lips. She wasn’t smiling with them now. Wasn’t doing anything special at all with them, really. It should have been safe.
But all Finn could think about was how much he really wanted to taste and share.
Finn kept everyone busy all afternoon. They must have collected enough firewood to last them at least two days, and he wasted another hour trying—and mostly failing—to build a raft that fell apart and dunked him in the sea as soon as it encountered a big wave. The crew had found the whole episode highly entertaining.
He tried hard not to think if his celebrity sidekick found it funny. He was trying very hard not to think about her at all. But now and then he forgot himself and glanced in her direction. Each time he saw exactly the same thing: Allegra staring back at him with a hint of bewilderment in her big blue eyes.
In the end he decided to put those eyes where he couldn’t
see them—behind him—and suggested a trek to the other end of the island, where it sharpened into a point. When they’d stood on top of the hill, he thought he’d seen evidence of human occupation at some point, and he wanted to see if he was right.
He’d been spot-on.
There was a ruin there—a stone fort, it looked like. He guessed it had probably been built by the Spanish a few hundred years ago to fend off the pirates who’d wanted to steal their New World gold. Only one wall remained intact, about six feet high, in an L-shape. The rest of the structure had succumbed to the creepers and grass that had pushed between the stones.
He warbled to camera about the history of the area for at least half an hour, even though he knew Simon probably wouldn’t use it. But when the sun started to dip in the sky he reluctantly made the call to return to camp. Once there, he stuck close to the camera crew until they escaped in their tiny white speedboat.
I’m not being cowardly, he told himself. I’m just being sensible. Better to put up a few barriers to protect himself—protect both of them—from one of his sudden and often irresistible urges. Having a dive-in-first, ask-questions-later kind of personality could be an asset in some survival situations, but when it came to relationships he’d learned the hard way that slowly and carefully was the only way to go.
The sun was now setting, and there was an awfully long time to kill before the crew returned in the morning. He poked the fire with a large stick and racked his brain for a plan. Thankfully, it didn’t take long.
‘How do you fancy going for a walk?’ he said, not looking at his sole companion, but concentrating on a glowing bit of timber he was bothering with his makeshift poker. Sparks flew and whirled up into the air.
‘A walk?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’
‘But it’s dark,’ she said. He could hear the frown in her voice. Knew her eyebrows had dipped in the middle as they always did when she was uncertain about something.
‘I have a plan,’ he said, and then went about showing her just how easy it was to make a torch out of a decent-sized stick and some combustible material lashed to the top. Thank goodness, after this afternoon’s mini-lecture on cordage, they had plenty of the stuff lying around.
He made a torch for each of them, dipped them in the fire long enough for them to billow bright flames, and then they set off across the beach towards the headland. Never had Finn been so glad his guest star was a woman of few words.
But as they neared the rock-punctuated sand at the end of the beach, Allegra opened her mouth and spoke.
‘I have a confession to make,’ she said carefully. ‘I should have told you earlier, really, but at first home seemed so far away—both in time and space—but now I’ve suddenly realised I’m only days away from being back there again.’
‘Uh-huh.’ That was right. Keep it light and non-committal.
‘Well…’
Allegra slowed even further. Finn didn’t look at her face, but watched her feet make tiny, delicate dents in the sand.
‘I thought I’d better warn you that there might be a bit of fallout from me being a guest on Fearless Finn. Maybe not for you,’ she added quickly. ‘But definitely for me.’
Finn was so intrigued he forgot he was trying not to look her directly in the eye. He stopped walking and turned to face her. ‘How so?’
Allegra looked down at her feet and traced a tiny precise arc in the sand with her big toe. ‘I did something stupid.’
Finn knew all about stupid. It was his speciality, his father used to say. ‘What sort of stupid? Locked your keys in the car stupid, or fallen off a cliff stupid?’
She sighed and her gaze flicked up to meet his. ‘Definitely the latter.’
He took a few steps up the beach until he was beyond the tide line, plunged the non-flaming end of his torch into the soft sand and sat down. He motioned for her to do the same. They sat about three feet apart, both facing the ocean, with their knees up, staring out into the darkness, trying to figure out where sea met night sky.
‘When I left I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, and—’ she swallowed ‘—I was supposed to be performing this evening.’
He swung round to look at her. She didn’t mirror him but kept looking out into the inky night.
‘You ran away from home?’ he said, his voice high and tight.
Her head snapped round and she glared at him. ‘I did not run away from home. That’s the sort of thing kids do! I’m an adult and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, planning my own life…’
‘Listen, I’m not one to judge—I’ve made plenty of the fall-off-a-cliff stupid decisions in my life. And I have to say, for a first attempt, yours was pretty spectacular.’
She frowned harder. ‘How did you know it was my first attempt?’
His lips spread into a slow smile. ‘Instinct.’
Allegra huffed and looked away again. ‘You and your instinct. I just needed some time off, some space from all my commitments—I’ve been working like a dog since I turned sixteen—and it was about time I…’ She trailed off and rested her chin on her knees.
‘Oh, who am I kidding?’ she snapped, then suddenly sat up again, dropped her knees to one side and turned to face him. ‘Yes. I ran away from home. Okay?’
Finn couldn’t help but smile at her. Who could have known the tiny mouse-like ballerina would turn out to be so fierce and fiery?
‘It’s not funny,’ she said, taking in his smile. And then her mouth began to twitch. ‘Really, it isn’t.’
‘What are you going to do?’ he asked.
Allegra pulled her shoulders up to her ears and let them drop again. ‘Don’t know. I’ve put myself and the company in a rather unique position—there’s no precedent for this. Dancers don’t usually do a runner.’ The corners of her mouth turned down. ‘I could be out of a job.’
‘A job you think you might hate,’ Finn said softly. ‘Maybe that’s the silver lining?’
‘But that’s just it. I don’t know if I do,’ she replied despondently.
He watched the emotions play over her face in the warm orange torchlight. Even her face was exquisitely expressive. She didn’t need to speak when she let the mask slip. He heard every thought. Every word.
‘Then work it out,’ he added. ‘Dance. See if there’s a spark left.’
She stared at the dark beach beyond the glow of their torches. ‘Ugh. Enough of my problems. I came here to escape them.’ She shook her head and then gave him a penetrating look. ‘You know my entire life story now, but I hardly know anything about you. You know how I ended up a disgruntled ballerina. What journey did you take to become Fearless Finn—or did you just pop out of the womb that way?’
He laughed. ‘Do not get my mother started on that subject!’ Then he paused and thought a little. ‘Not much to tell, really. Only child. Dad was in the forces, so I was an army brat and I travelled extensively when I was young. I’d always loved being outdoors, so climbing and hiking were natural interests for me, and with the constant changes of address there was always somewhere new to explore.’
Allegra stretched out and placed her hands behind her to support herself. The neatly crossed legs, with pointed feet, made Finn smile.
Her eyes softened. ‘All that moving around. It must have been tough.’
‘At first,’ he said, nodding. ‘But I got used to it.’
‘Really?’ she said, her brows pinching together. ‘I don’t think I could live like that. How did you cope?’
He grimaced. Lessons had been learned the hard way—dos and don’ts. Not a structured philosophy, more tips and tricks to survive the constant upheaval.
Don’t get too attached to that best friend of yours, because he’s going to have a face change in six months’ time. D
on’t feed that stray cat that hangs around—and certainly don’t fall in love with it—because we can’t take it with us. Don’t cry when you leave and don’t look back. No point pining for what you can’t have. Better to put all those sorts of feelings somewhere, fence them off and forget about them.
But do learn to make friends quickly. Always be cheerful. Always be fun to be with. Nobody wants to play with a sourpuss. Do get used to long distance phone calls and Christmases with relations you don’t really remember. Do put down roots, if you really want to, but make sure they’re shallow and they spread wide; that way you’ll survive when they’re ripped from the ground.
But Allegra didn’t want to hear about all of that when she was thousands of miles from home. It would only make her feel worse. So he shrugged lightly. ‘Hide like an alligator, me. I must just be that type of person who thrives on change.’
Allegra shivered, and at first he thought it might be a reaction to what he’d said; but then he realised the temperature had dropped quite a bit since they’d left camp, the wind had picked up and, without the heat of the roaring fire he’d built, the air was starting to turn chilly. He stood and plucked a torch from the ground, then offered it to Allegra. He waited while she brushed the sand off her long, lean legs and then took the remaining torch for himself and led the way back to camp.
‘What about after that?’ Allegra asked as they fell into an easy stride.
Finn looked straight ahead. ‘I joined the army when I was old enough. It was good for me—taught me how to channel my harem-scarem urges and put all the excess energy to good use.’
Allegra chuckled to herself as she watched where her feet were going. ‘You mean you were worse back then? Lord help your poor mother! I don’t think I would have liked to have met you as a teenage boy.’
No, thought Finn. Nor I you.
Because if he’d met a girl like this, a girl like Allegra, when he’d been a teenager, she’d have been very, very hard to leave behind.
He pushed the fanciful thought away and got back to hard facts. ‘My army career took me all over the world, but I particularly enjoyed learning how to survive in all of those places. There are so many skills we’ve forgotten now we’ve got our microwaves and cable TV and big sprawling cities. Somehow, by learning the skills that had been second nature to our ancestors, I found a sense of…um…connection.’