Stunned, she froze. The slow and thoughtful movement of his lips on hers filled her with a hunger like she’d never experienced. A delicious sensation, this kiss, forbidden and daring, making her burn. Alternatively both heady and tender, he seemed to be holding himself in check, as if he thought he needed to be careful with her.
Suddenly, achingly, she realized she didn’t want tender. She wanted passion and fierceness, craving and wild desire. Everything she would be missing the rest of her life if she were to marry Ezekiel.
She wanted Jack. And she wanted him now. Her blood heated, her head pounded and her knees weakened.
Curling into the curve of his body, she gave herself over to him. Where he led, she would follow. And if he didn’t lead, then she’d figure out a way to do so.
Her breasts ached for his touch, but since he didn’t reach for them, she pressed them into the rock-hard muscle of his chest. Her heart pounded and her breath caught. Trembling, she tried to figure out how to ask him for more.
Continuing to kiss her, he moved his hands down to the small of her back, holding her in place. Still gentle, still restrained. As if he held a part of himself distant from her. But then she felt the swell of his arousal and realized he held himself in control with an iron strength of will. While she wasn’t at all experienced, she knew enough to understand that a simple move, a wiggle and a squirm, could escalate his desire.
So she did. He made a low sound, something guttural, and raised his mouth from hers. She was gratified to see how hard he was breathing. “Sophia?” he asked, a thousand questions in the simple act of saying her name.
Chapter 9
“Yes,” Sophia breathed, daring to use her hands to caress him. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”
“Someone might see us,” he protested, though heat blazed from his gaze. “I don’t know what the punishment is for something like this, but I have a feeling we don’t want to find out.”
“I don’t care,” she declared, her chest heaving. “I want this. I want you.”
The heart-rending tenderness in his expression made her throat catch. “And I want you, Sophia. But not like this. Not standing in the dirt, with the smell of manure fresh in the air. We deserve more than this—hell, you deserve more than this.”
Did she? Her body aching, she nodded. She buried her face in his broad chest, hoping she could hide her dejection. “You’re right,” she admitted. Though she hated the fact, it was the truth. If she actually did give in to temptation, the situation would need to be extra special. Not blind and crazed passion in a public greenhouse. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.”
“No.” He cupped her chin in his large hand, raising her face to his so he could kiss the tip of her nose. “Don’t apologize. Not for this. In fact, not ever. You’re warm and beautiful and a damn desirable woman, Sophia Hannah. Don’t ever forget that. And no matter what, don’t you ever change.”
She wanted to agree but couldn’t. How could she not change, now that everyone she loved seemed to find it perfectly acceptable that she was to become the newest wife of a man old enough to be her grandfather? Did they not care or understand how her spirit would wither and die after she’d been relegated to a place in his harem?
Ever finding happiness didn’t seem possible. Unless it was with Jack. The inexplicable connection that blazed between them gave her a glimpse at what might be possible, if she were to take a different path. And that somehow was worse, much, much worse, than never knowing.
“Baby, don’t cry,” he rasped. The endearment—or maybe the tone, or both—undid her, making it impossible to hold the tears in.
He held her while she wept, letting her soak the front of his shirt. And then he continued to keep her close while she attempted to get herself together, gathering her shredded composure around her like a cloak.
“I’m...” She shook her head. “Not going to apologize.”
“Good.” The approval in his warm smile lifted her spirits. “That’s my girl.”
If only she was, she thought. Right now, she’d give anything to be his girl.
And maybe such a thing might still be possible. Refusing to allow herself to even hope, she took a deep breath. Even if it was not, she needed his help. “Would you do me a favor?”
Without asking what, he nodded. “Anything.”
“Tell me what it’s like outside. I’ve never left COE and I’m curious. I need to know what to expect.”
“Let’s walk,” he said, taking her arm and steering her toward the doorway. “I should warn you. I have no idea what it would be like from the perspective of someone innocent, like you.”
Still wiping at her eyes, she grimaced. “Please, go ahead and tell me what’s different out there from in here.”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“Please try.”
And so he did, listing things succinctly, in a way she appreciated. While inside the compound they had vehicles and computers, their use was limited to people higher up in the organization. He told her about something called television and movies, and made comments on the different way women dressed out there. She listened, partly intrigued, partly appalled. Though she hadn’t thought much further than escaping her impending marriage, the more Jack talked, the more she realized a completely different world would be opening up to her.
As long as she had Jack by her side, she thought navigating it would be amazing.
* * *
Later, after leaving Sophia and returning to his house, Jack gave himself a stern tongue-lashing. What the heck was he thinking? He’d actually been given the chance to talk to the children. He was so close to learning if any of them had been brought there from elsewhere, and specifically, if one of them might be the Bartlett boy. While Sophia Hannah made him feel things he’d never felt, he couldn’t allow her to distract him from his mission inside COE.
But if she truly wanted to leave... The thought, like a seed sowed in fertile earth, took root. He couldn’t discard it, couldn’t let it go. Because not only was she sweet and beautiful, but her situation right now was terrible. As far as he could tell, she hadn’t done a thing to deserve such a fate, other than being extraordinarily beautiful. Unfortunately that, itself, was often enough—whether in the outside world or here in COE.
But he knew one thing. If he could help her in any way possible without jeopardizing the reason he was there, he would. Until he found what he was looking for, he’d figure out a way to keep her safe.
The next morning he woke with a sense of anticipation. Today he’d be meeting Sophia’s roommate Rachel and finally seeing the elusive children that were kept so isolated. But why?
Phillip strolled into the kitchen as Jack made himself a second cup of coffee. “Hadn’t you better get going?” he asked, yawning. “You’re usually gone when I get up. You’re going to be late.”
“I’m fine.” Jack smiled. “I have a new, temporary gig. Today I’m meeting Rachel and going to the school to help with some of the kids.”
Phillip did a double-take. “Really? That’s kind of odd. Who decided this?”
“Thomas.” As he’d suspected he would, mentioning Ezekiel’s right-hand man’s name immediately soothed Phillip’s fears. “I did some therapy work when I was in the military. He thought I might be able to help Rachel with a special situation.”
“I see.” Phillip nodded. “I really like Rachel,” he said, a note of warning in his tone. “I’ve been thinking about courting her. Just so you know.”
“So you’re saying you’ve got dibs?”
Phillip’s frown wasn’t quite the reaction Jack had been expecting. “What do you mean?”
“Dibs. As in, you’ve got the first claim to her.”
“Oh.” Phillip’s expression cleared. “Sure. But I promise if I change my mind, you�
��ll be the first to know.”
“What about Rachel?” Jack couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Does she have any say in this at all?”
From his roommate’s incredulous expression, apparently he found Jack’s remark bizarre.
“Why would she?” Phillip asked. “I know you’re new here, but I have to imagine it’s the same everywhere. Women are just grateful to be claimed. That’s all they live for. They can’t wait to be a wife and hopefully a mother. That’s fulfillment of their purpose in this world, the reason they were born.”
Maybe a century or more ago, Jack thought, though he wisely kept the observation to himself. He finished his coffee and stood. “She’s meeting me here,” he said. “Just in case you want to come outside and speak to her.”
For a second he thought Phillip might take him up on his offer. But then the other man shook his head. “No time. I need to shower and get ready for work.”
Exiting the kitchen, he gave Jack’s upper bicep a quick cuff. “Have a good day,” he said. “And good luck with the kiddos. Being around that many children would give me a headache, that’s for sure.”
Once Phillip had disappeared down the hall, Jack took a deep breath and headed for the front door. Time to meet Rachel. He hoped he could convince her that he knew what he was doing. In reality, he didn’t have the slightest idea.
Though he supposed he’d seen her from a distance, up close Sophia’s roommate was not at all what he’d expected. Short and curvy, she strode toward him with a quiet self-assurance that seemed all business.
“Jack Moreno?” She spoke with a pleasing lilt to her voice. “I’m Rachel.”
They shook hands. Her firm grip and cool skin made him smile. Already he liked her. He could see why Phillip had been considering dating her.
“I understand you’re to be our new therapist?” she asked as they walked toward the center of the compound.
He nodded. “I confess, I’ve never worked with children. In fact, I’ve never been around many kids at all. Can you tell me a little bit about what this boy’s issues are?”
Her smile lit up her entire face. “Oh, I can do better than that. I’ve got an entire file on him for you to read. After you’ve done that, I’ll let you observe him in class. We’ll take it slow, if that’s all right with you. That is, as slow as possible. If he has another outburst, you may need to intervene.”
“Sounds good.”
Rachel stopped at a large square building. Though constructed from the same concrete material as the others, this one had only smallish windows, up near the top where they were way too high to be opened. They’d let the light in, but little else. He guessed the powers that be didn’t want the little students to be distracted by being able to see outside.
“He’s attempted to run away several times now,” Rachel informed him. “He bolts and runs. Of course, with the way our school building is designed, he doesn’t get far. But it’s disruptive to the rest of the children. And worrisome. I’ve taught for seven years and nothing like this has ever happened before.”
Thinking it better not to comment, he watched as she dug a key from her pocket and unlocked the door. Gesturing at him to precede her, once they were inside, she secured the lock after them.
“You lock them inside?” he asked. “Or are you locking them out until it’s time to open the school?”
The cool, measuring look she gave him made him think she found his question out of line, so he decided to let it go.
When they entered the classroom, the noise level hit him. And the kids—there were so many of them. Some were seated, others were running and jostling each other, and yelling. Laughter, shouts and so many little voices all speaking at once assaulted his ears.
Or at least they did, until they caught sight of their teacher. Without Rachel saying a word, immediately every single student rushed to their desk, going as quiet as if a switch had been flipped.
“Thank you,” Rachel said, her satisfied smile letting him know this behavior was expected. “Everyone, this is Jack.”
“Hello, Jack,” thirty young voices chorused.
“He’ll be observing us today,” she continued. “If everyone would get out their books and turn to page twenty-one, please.”
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, though Jack learned one new thing about himself. Being around this many kids did give him a headache. He and Phillip had that in common, at least.
Apparently, Rachel taught certain subjects to different groups of children, clustered together by age. She exhibited amazing patience, which he couldn’t help but admire. She never pointed out the boy who needed counseling, so he had no idea which one it was or in which group. Though he studied each child carefully, he couldn’t exactly pull out the sketch artist’s rendition of what the Bartlett boy would look like now, so he couldn’t tell if any of the boys might be him. He himself could barely remember it, even though he’d glanced at it before going to that fateful meeting where he’d met Thomas.
Despite doing nothing but observing, by the time the school day ended, Jack was exhausted. He watched as the children filed out of the room, wondering where they went. Finally he asked.
“To the dorms, of course.” The matter-of-fact way Rachel answered let him know this was ordinary to her.
“Dorms? I thought the children stayed with family groups.”
Continuing to straighten up her desk, she didn’t even look at him. “They do, until they’re old enough to start walking. They are sent to the nursery then and they live in the dorms. When they turn five, they start school.”
“I bet the youngest ones have a hard time.” He’d spoken without thinking. “Being without family.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes they do. But the older children comfort the younger ones. And if things get really bad, one of us teachers make sure to comfort them and dry their tears.” She flashed a rueful smile. “You don’t know how many times I end up spending the night with the younger children at the beginning of the school year.”
“That’s dedication,” he said, meaning it.
Cocking her head, she slowly nodded. “Yes,” she answered. “Yes, it is.” She considered him for another moment. “Do you mind if I ask you something personal?”
“Sure.”
She glanced back toward the doorway as if she needed to make sure no one else was listening. “What are your intentions toward Sophia?”
At first he’d thought he’d heard wrong. Or, alternatively, that she might be joking. But her serious expression told him she really wanted to know.
“We’re friends,” he said. “I like Sophia. A lot.”
Fixing him with a stern gaze, she swallowed. “I do, too. And she and I have known each other all our lives. And while you seem like a perfectly nice man, understand I mean this with every fiber of my being. If you hurt her, I will make you pay.”
Fierce and fiery, just like Sophia. He liked that about her. “Rachel, the last thing I would ever do is hurt Sophia. I can promise you that.”
After a moment her expression cleared as she appeared to accept his words. He wanted to ask her what she thought about Sophia’s arranged marriage, but didn’t dare. What he and Sophia discussed in private would stay between them only, and he felt certain Rachel felt the same.
“Now, about your class,” he began, changing the subject. “When can I meet privately with the boy who needs counseling?”
“There are several, but we’ll start with the most severe. That would be Benjamin.” Apparently she’d decided to trust him.
“Which one was he?”
“The stout little boy with the curly dark hair. He insists on sitting alone at the back table.”
Now he remembered. He’d thought it odd that the kid didn’t interact with any of his classmates. He’d sat stone-faced, arms crossed, while
he’d listened to Rachel’s lesson. He’d listened, but that had been about as far as he’d gone. Even better, both the Bartletts had dark brown, curly hair. There might be a very real chance that this Benjamin was their missing son.
He struggled to contain his excitement.
“You’re going to be here tomorrow, right?”
“Yes. I’ll be helping here for however long it takes.”
“Good.” She smiled. “Then why don’t we let you meet with him for a little bit tomorrow morning?”
“Perfect.” It took an effort to appear calm, cool and collected, but he did it.
“All right, then.” She seemed to be waiting for something, but he had no idea what. Since he didn’t want to blow his one opportunity, he stayed silent.
Eventually, Rachel sighed. “You can go ahead and leave now. I’ve got a few things I want to do around here before I call it a day. Plus, I always check in with the children before I go.”
“Could I go with you?” He’d love to see where the kids lived and what type of security features the cult employed.
“I’m sorry, but no.” The watchful look had come back into her eyes. “You need to leave now. I’ll see you again in the morning, all right?”
“Of course.” Without waiting for a second prompting, he turned and made his way to the door.
He felt like grinning, but couldn’t shake the feeling that someone could be watching. He wished he could share his good news with someone. More specifically, with Sophia. But he couldn’t. Not yet. Not now. Maybe not ever.
* * *
The next day, with Jack once again back at the school with Rachel, the atmosphere at the clinic seemed dull, less interesting. Sophia missed having him at work far more than she knew she should. She actually ached for him, like a lovesick puppy or something. After the kiss they’d shared, she found herself wandering around in a daze.
The things he’d told her about the outside world seemed fantastical, almost like the kinds of dreams she’d once had as a small girl.
While she knew he hadn’t made the details up, with her limited experience, she couldn’t imagine them. Starting with this thing called television. Moving images on a screen? She didn’t even know what a television was, until he’d explained it to her. There’d been more, so much more that she couldn’t even remember. She’d seen Dr. Drew using his communication device, but she’d never asked to see it or how it worked. Jack had said these were numerous in the outside world, that everyone had communication devices you could use anywhere, something to do with blue teeth, and the idea that many people lived their lives in a mad rush.
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