by Mia Evans
Me: Are you up?
I didn't expect to see her chat bubbles right after I hit 'send.' She usually is never awake at this hour, especially on a Monday.
Violet: Can you FaceTime?
She doesn't wait for my response before she calls me. I swipe to accept her call. Her scream jolts me awake even more.
"Girl, tell me everything! Tell me everything right now!" she squeals.
"Okay, okay," I laugh, "but stop shouting!"
"How are you not shouting! You just had the best weekend of your life with one of the hottest guys in the neighborhood. This is definitely shout worthy!"
She squeals again, and seeing how excited she is helps me feel the giddy excitement I felt before.
I tell her about how Will picked me up, how he had packed breakfast for me, how we sang and laughed the entire way to the campsite, how cool his friends were, the things that we did, how good Will is at an assortment of things that I could never be good at, and how we kissed. And more.
"OhmygoshIcan'tbelieveyouandWillhadsex!" Violet shouts.
She gets so excited that her phone clatters to the ground, and I laugh as I can see her lean over the edge of her bed and reach for me, showing me a very unflattering angle of the underside of her nose.
"How was it? Describe every little detail right now!"
"It was perfect," I say. I don't know what else to say without sounding like a pervert.
"Eileen Corren, absolutely not! Tell me more!"
I blush and tell her about how Will hugged me from behind in the van, how we fooled around a little on the beach, how we fooled around in my bed even more last night, and I watch as Violet's face gets progressively happier and brighter. It feels good to talk to her about it.
I don't tell her some things. Like the way I started crying when Will said all those sweet things to me and made sure that I was okay every step of the way or that all of this stuff is Will's first time doing things either. Those types of things I want to keep to myself. But, I tell her the main things that make her squeal in happiness for me.
"Eileen Corren," she gasps, "one weekend with Will Keely, and you've moved through all of the bases."
"Ew, don't say it like that," I cringe.
She laughs again, and I can see in her eyes how happy she is for me. For years I have lived vicariously through her stories, and now I have interesting stories of my own to tell her.
"He sounds like a really great guy, Ella," she says.
I smile at her calling me that. For the hundredth time since she moved away for college, I wish that she could teleport back here so that I could hug her.
"He is," I say, smiling so big my cheeks hurt.
"I think he's really good for you," she says. "I think he's helping you out of your shell. I think that you've wanted to get out for a while now, but Will has been the kick in the butt you needed."
I nod, agreeing with her. I ask her if there's anything new going on with her, although we only talked four days ago. She starts telling me a couple of stories.
Apparently, she went to a party with a new group of girls over the weekend, and it was interesting because it was a dry party, but it was one of the best she's been to in a while. She tells me about a guy she kept playing Uno games with, and the way she talks about him, I can tell that UnoGuy is her new fixation. It makes me worried, although I try to match her excited vibe.
"I have to go pretty early today," she says, finishing her makeup. "UnoGuy, Lucas, wants to take me out to breakfast. So that's why I'm up so damn early."
I smile and wish her well on her breakfast date.
In the back of my mind, I hope that UnoGuy will be different than the others. Regardless, I will be there for her no matter what.
We say we love each other and hang up. I finish eating my toast with a smile.
Just as I am cleaning up my plate, my phone buzzes again. I guess that it's going to be a text from Violet, wanting me to approve of her outfit for her date, but instead, it's a text from Maddie.
Maddie: Hey there! I got your number from Will. He told me that you're ready to start self-publishing. I wanted to see if there was anything I could help you with!
I set my plate in the sink, fully smiling now. Even when he's not here, Will can warm my heart.
Me: Yea, Will showed me how easy it looked last night, and I've always wanted to be a writer, so I think I'm finally ready to try. I'm just the type of person that needs a concrete plan. I have no idea how to do any of the techy stuff.
Maddie: I totally get you. I'm the exact same way. Let me send you a couple of websites and books, so you can get started in the right direction.
Before I can send her a "thank you," she has sent me two websites and five links to books on self-publishing. I take screenshots of all of them so that I can buy them later and favorite the websites.
Me: I'm going to look through all of these things. Thank you so much!
Maddie: No problem. Let me know if I can help you with anything or if you have any questions. Will told me that you already have a lot written, so you really just need to learn about marketing and formatting.
Me: I will definitely reach out if I have any questions. Thank you again!
She sends me a smiley face back.
I take my cup of water and start buying the ebooks. I settle back into my bed and start reading, taking notes with one of my spare notebooks. I am so glad that I don't have to work today so I can dedicate a whole day to this.
Just a week ago, I wouldn't have tried any of this. I would have just worked on uploading new chapter installments to BookCookie, replied to comments, and worked on schoolwork. I didn't realize how painfully stuck inside my bubble I truly was. But because of Will, I am getting out of that bubble and doing something I've always dreamed of. It feels so damn exciting.
I try to start every book Maddie sent me with the mindset that I'm not going to be perfect right off the bat. I'm excited that I'm doing this in the first place.
After I am through the first book (a short one on marketing), I close out of my Kindle app and text Will.
Me: Thank you.
Will: What for?
Me: For helping me realize that my dreams are more possible than I thought.
Will: Anytime, love.
I smile and get back to reading the second book, already knowing a couple of different things I want to do with Because of You. I know that story is my strongest work, and I know it's the one I want to publish first. And reading what these books are saying about writing to market, it'll fit right in. It's a classic trope.
The third book is a walkthrough on how to publish on Amazon. For a second, I want to skip to the fifth book and read about actually publishing later, but something in me tells me that it's now or never.
I log back into my account and click through what Will showed me this morning. I start putting in information about Because of You.
On BookCookie, I go into my settings and make every chapter after the first unable to be seen to readers. I write a quick message on my page telling people that I will be moving on to paid work and that I will update soon with a link to where they can find more of my stories.
I move with such speed that it surprises me. Usually, doing something like this would have had me in an anxious fit of indecision, and as a result, I would have been stuck, making no progress. But I feel like Will is right here next to me, cheering me on. Also, I feel a younger version of myself that wanted these dreams so badly is there cheering me on too.
I also try not to take what I'm doing too seriously. I know that the first thing I self publish isn't going to be perfect, and that's okay. What matters is that I put myself out there and learn a little bit every day to get better.
Even if I don't make the type of money that Maddie makes or what Will believes I could make, I am proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone.
I love this story so much. I am excited to finally share it with a larger portion of the world and potentially get p
aid for it.
My nerves tell me that I need to stop and that I shouldn't put myself out there like this. But the hopeful part of myself that is starting to come back tells me that I need to believe in myself and that my talents are worthy of being published and paid. They tell me to press 'publish.'
And so I do.
17
I look at the status of my book — in review.
Maddie told me my book could be in review for forty-eight hours to a week. It all just depends on the people who are looking through my book.
For a second, a nervous thought tells me that I should delete everything, but I don't. I stare at the screen, feeling a type of pride that no amount of publishing on BookCookie has ever given me.
I did it. I took the first step in putting myself out there.
I look at the time in the corner of my laptop. It's three o'clock in the afternoon.
Damn. I think to myself. Today has gone by fast. It felt like I was only working at my laptop for a couple of hours; I didn't realize it was past noon.
I reach for my phone at my side and see that Maddie has sent me more resources. I text her that my book is 'in review,' and she sends me a comically long paragraph of smiley faces.
I ask Violet how her breakfast date went, and she sends me back the purple devil smiling emoji. I pray again that UnoGuy will be different than the rest. However, I don't feel so sure.
When I get to Will's name, I see that he has texted me three things. One is a thumbs-up emoji, and the other two are different motivational quotes. I smirk at his cheesiness and open our conversation. I hope he's not doing anything. I'm in the mood to see him, eat, and celebrate.
Me: What are you doing?
Will: Waiting on your beck and call. What do you want to do, m'lady?
Me: I want to get something to eat. I've just published my first book.
Will sends me three paragraphs of different variations of smiling and thumbs-up emojis. He sends so many that for a second, I think my phone is going to glitch.
Will: Yes! A million times, yes! Get ready, my treat. We're going to go to The Crown Factory.
I raise my eyebrow. The Crown Factory is one of the most expensive diners in our neighborhood. Not that I'm complaining, but I can't believe Will's taking me there.
Violet and I always used to go there for special occasions, either real or last-minute made-up ones, because they have amazing food there.
The idea of going there with Will makes me feel warm inside. I don't know what I'm more excited for — seeing him or their delicious strawberry cream cheese crepes.
I speed around my room, plugging my laptop into its charger before changing into a cute summer dress and some wedges. I split my hair down the middle and twist each side into a flat roll, pinning them against the sides of my head.
I spray on some perfume and reapply deodorant. I grab my purse and make sure everything I need is inside. Doing a once over of myself in my mirror, I grab my house key and rush out the door, excited to see Will. I know that I saw him just this morning, but I always crave more.
He's waiting for me, leaning against Matilda. He waves when I step off my porch, and I hurry as fast as I can to him.
"Hey there, author," Will exclaims, wrapping me up in a hug.
I let out a strangled noise as he squeezes me to his chest.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispers in my ear, pecking me on the cheek before letting me go.
I flush as my stomach goes all liquid and warm.
"Thank you," I say, squeezing his hand.
"You better order the whole damn menu at The Crown Factory. You deserve it," Will says, heading around to his side of the van.
I head to my side and slip into my seat. When I go to sit, I feel my butt hit something hard and lumpy. I reach under myself and pull out a troll, its hair and face smushed from my butt.
It has wild wispy green hair and big green eyes. It is naked, though its plastic bits don't give anything away besides a smoothed out belly button.
"What's this?" I laugh, holding it between us.
"Your new writing troll. It'll bring you good luck for all future books to come," Will says, simply, as if it should be obvious.
Will's love for these creepy dolls has not grown on me even though I spent a weekend camping in a vehicle full of them.
"And why is it naked?" I ask.
"Because I wanted it to remind you of me. See the green eyes?"
I cackle with Will and put the creepy little man with the rest of Will's troll collection on Matilda's dashboard. They seem to welcome the newcomer with their equally creepy eyes.
"I thought that you could put that little guy next to you while you write. Before you know it, you'll make a million dollars. Or something like that. I made sure to infuse it with plenty of good energy before giving it to you. Although your butt might have crushed some of it."
I smooth out the troll's hair as Will pulls Matilda away from the curb. He rolls slowly down our block and goes straight after the stop sign. The Crown Factory isn't too far of a drive from here, but I can tell that Will is purposely taking the long way.
"What's its name?" I ask, playing along.
Even though I know Will is joking a little bit, the trolls do mean something to him. And it's a sweet gesture of him to get me one, even if they do creep me out a little.
"I was thinking of Ollie. Doesn't he look like an Ollie?"
I peer into the troll's shining eyes and honestly feel like it doesn't look like an anything, though I don't tell Will that.
"I think Ollie is perfect. I'm sure he'll help me very much with my writing. Thank you," I say, tucking Ollie into my purse for safekeeping.
Will beams at me and opens his window, letting the warm summer air into Matilda.
"So what have you been up to today?" I ask.
We drive by the hospital. Tomorrow I'm going to have to go to work, and I'm already dreading it. I worry that everyone is going to say something about me missing my last shift. I hope that something else happens on the unit and people don't even remember me not being there.
"I hung out with my dad for a little bit. He's redoing the upstairs bathroom and asked me for some help. I went and helped him with the flooring for a couple hours."
I nod. It's sweet that Will and his dad have such a great relationship. Also, it's sexy that Will is handy and knows how to do stuff like that.
"Mostly though," Will continues, turning right, "I was thinking about how much I missed you and couldn't wait to hang out with you later."
"How did you know that we were going to be hanging out today?"
"Because, how could you stay away from my naturally charming good looks?" Will jokes, puffing out his chest.
I laugh, though I do admire his chest and how muscular it is. I won't admit how much I've missed him today, but driving with him in Matilda now, off to eat some of my favorite food, is one of the best parts of my day. Being around Will gives me the exact same type of high that pressing 'publish' did.
"But seriously though," he says, pulling into the parking lot, "I'm really proud of you. It's amazing to see that you're finally following your dreams, and I'm so happy to be by your side throughout it."
The sincerity in his eyes compels me to lean in and kiss him, so I do. His lips are warm and make me want more. I unbuckle my seatbelt so that I can lean against the middle console and kiss him fully.
Will wraps his hands in my hair. I notice he is careful not to unroot any of my pins. I open my mouth wider for him, and he slips his tongue in, heating the kiss.
Will is the first one to pull away. When I lean back in my seat, I see that he looks just as breathless as I do.
"You are tempting, Ella Corren," he says, taking a deep breath. "Tempting." He shakes his head as if to clear it and then opens his door. "Let's go eat some awesome food."
After gorging myself on two servings of strawberry cream cheese crepes, I feel like I could sleep for a year in the diner's small booth. Will
had chocolate coconut pancakes, which were yummy from the bit that I tried, but nothing compared to my crepes.
Will insisted on treating, swatting away my hand when I offered to split it. We were at the diner for a couple of hours, laughing and enjoying ourselves probably too much for the fancy atmosphere.
Back in the van, I slouch down in my seat, holding my food baby.
"Their crepes are just too good," I moan, rubbing my stomach.
Will laughs at me, and I envy him not getting a food baby even though he probably ate more than me. He just always has to look good, no matter how unfair it is.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, baby," he says. He makes my stomach feel even more topsy turvy when he leans over to kiss me.
I taste chocolate on his lips. I wonder if he can taste the strawberries and cream on mine.
"Am I taking you home now?" he asks.
I think about it. It's five o'clock exact. My mom probably isn't home by now, which is good because I didn't tell her I was going out. I don't want to give her even more fuel for her annoyed-at-me-fire. Will probably should take me home, even though I don't want him to.
"Yea," I say. "I should probably beat my mom home."
Will nods and drives Matilda out of the parking lot. We take the short way home. We don't talk much, both of us in mini food comas.
"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I ask, leaning across the seat for a quick kiss.
"Nah, I'll see you later," Will emphasizes.
My cheeks heat, and I don't correct him. The thought of him coming in my window like last night and sleeping beside me again is too appealing.
I unbuckle myself and start to head inside. When my keys are in the lock, I can hear one of my mom's Westerns blaring on the TV, and dread fills my stomach. Mentally I curse myself. I hope that she's asleep because maybe I could sneak to my room and she wouldn't hear me, but I know that's just wishful thinking.