by Mia Evans
"Who's Eli?" Lucy asks, looking up from her phone again.
Lucy just started at our office a couple of weeks ago, so she's still learning about all of us in the group. I like her, though. She is funny, and she seems really down to Earth.
"Eli is Sam's best friend and roommate," Sue answers, from the front of the group.
"But, I thought you were dating Zach?" Lucy asks, interested enough that she turns off her phone.
"I am dating Zach," I say, answering before Sue can.
"And he's okay with you living with Eli?" she asks, clearly confused.
I've gotten this question dozens of times since Eli and I moved in together. I know it makes sense to ask -- living with the opposite sex and not dating them is weird to most people, but it annoys me how frequently I have to answer it.
"Well, for one, it wouldn't really matter if he was okay with it or not. Eli and I have been friends for forever. Since first grade. We're just friends, Eli is my closest friend. I didn't want to live alone after college, and I didn't know anyone else in the city looking for a roommate, so it just made sense for us to live together."
"Why don't you live with Zach?"
I sigh, thinking of Zach, my boyfriend of seven months. We started dating in February of my senior year of college. He had just transferred to my school, and even though I wasn't planning on dating anyone, I was drawn to him. I smile, thinking about that time of my life. Everything was so simple back then. Even though it was less than a year ago, it really was a different world for me then. Sure, there were stresses, but I hadn't been through any of the really hard shit that was going to come months later.
"When I graduated, I hadn't been with Zach for that long, and it didn't feel like the right time in our relationship to live together. Besides, he's never said anything about me living with Eli."
Moments of silence tick by between us, and I hope that that is the last thing I have to answer about my relationship with Zach and my friendship with Eli.
Thankfully, Marissa brings up another guy in IT, Roger. And I have to give it to them that Roger is definitely much cuter than Derrick.
Just as we walk up to the fancy restaurant, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I smile, already guessing who it's from.
When I pull my phone out to see, I see that I am correct. Eli.
I open his message and see that it's another meme. Underneath that, he asks me what I want from Romano's, although he knows I get the same thing every time. Still sweet of him to ask. Even though Zach hasn't officially canceled plans on me, both of us know that that's probably where the night is headed. I'm just glad Eli doesn't even try to give me the lecture on whether or not I should still be giving Zach the time of day. He accepts that that conversation won't go well and does his part at being my best friend — wondering what he should order for me.
Although, I think, I haven’t had his grilled cheese in a long time. It’s hard to decide between Romano’s and Eli’s grilled cheese, but we do eat Romano’s a lot. We’ve been going there regularly since our freshman year of college.
I text him back, “What about some of your grilled cheese?” just as we are making our way up the steps to the restaurant.
He texts back right away, “You’re right. Grilled cheese sounds way better than Italian tonight.”
This place has outdoor seating in the front, which we walk through. I am dressed like most of the people sitting outside, and that I'm probably in the same pay grade as most of them, but I still feel like an imposter walking among them. I am still so new to looking like an adult and making adult money.
Sue leads us to a man behind the podium and says we need a table for four. I'm glad that we came right after work because this place seems like it would get packed in the evening.
The man leads us back through the restaurant, where there is a table with plush seats on one side and a black leather booth on the other. Sue and Marissa slide onto the booth, and Lucy and I pull back the chairs. Everything on the menu sounds delicious, but I'm more excited about Eli’s grilled cheese. In the end, I just order a drink, saving my appetite.
After we place our orders, they have had enough talking about cute IT guys. We move on to discussing things that are more interesting to me — the projects we will be completing for the next quarter.
Talking about this stuff makes me feel better, and I relax into my chair. The women around me are creative, brilliant, and inspiring. Talking with them about career goals and projects distracts me from the messy, complicated world of boys. Though I technically have a boy of my own, that doesn't make our relationship any less complicated. The only man that I have that type of relationship with is Eli, and that doesn't really even count, because we're just friends.
About halfway through dinner, my phone vibrates again. I sneak a glance under the table. It's from Zach. Just as I thought he would, he is canceling on me again. A month or so ago, seeing this would have really crushed me. I would have gone into a spiral about how he probably hates being around me after everything that has happened, but at this point, I just feel numb. I should care more. I should at least feel something in response to it, but it's like those emotions were turned off a long time ago. And in all honesty, they were. Not just to Zach, but to the majority of things in my life. Since my mom passed away in April, stuff like that doesn't hit me like it once would have.
"I'm so sorry, babe, but something came up at the office. I promise to make it up to you, but I really need to spend tonight with the boys so we can close this deal. Txt me when you're home, and if you want, we could talk before bed. I love you!!"
Find out what happens next here.