Through the Glass

by Lisa J. Hobman

  “Isn’t it breath-taking?” Jim turned to her. His heart pounded and his head was filled with a million different emotions all vying for the surface.

  “Oh, Jim. It’s…I can’t… Wow.” Her garbled words came out in a breathy whisper. They stood side by side, looking down to where the trees lined a little loch or pond. It was hard to tell as they were quite high up. The mountains in the distance created the perfect backdrop to the vista, their rocky surface still dusted in the sparkling white, frosty layer.

  Jim nodded and smiled and without turning to face Felicity said, “I know how it happened now… Many years ago when we were packing to leave uni…you and I went through my old childhood photos. I came here with my Mum, Dad, and Euan on holiday when I was about eight. My dad took the photo and I always treasured it. I’d completely forgotten about it and always wondered why I was so drawn to this place. I haven’t looked through those photos since you and I did all those years ago. I can’t believe it stuck with you too…but clearly it did… You painted it, Flick.” He paused to glance at her.

  She stood with tears glistening in her eyes as she listened and realisation appeared to dawn on her. He must have been right. There was something distinctly magical about the place, otherworldly even.

  Jim took a lung full of the crisp, wintery air. “I come up here in the good weather usually. Flask of coffee, blanket, and a good book. I read for a wee while and then sit and drink my coffee, just staring at the view. It’s the closest thing to paradise I can think of.”

  He turned his head slightly and smiled warmly. “When I saw your painting I couldn’t figure it out, but then I came up here and I realised. It’s…it’s like you’d been here before. But then again you have…in a way. We shared the memory back at university and you couldn’t get the place out of your mind…you said so. We’d both just forgotten why that was.”

  He turned now to look at her fully. She turned to face him with anticipation in her wide eyes as if she was wondering what would happen next. He stepped toward her but then something flashed through his mind. He couldn’t do this…not again. His heart wouldn’t take it. He turned away, his jaw clenching, as he tried to get a handle on his emotions. At that moment, Felicity’s mobile phone rang.

  “Oh good grief…who would have thought I’d get a signal up here?” she mumbled. “I only charged it because I thought I was going home and might need it.” She looked blankly at the handset in her hand. “I don’t even know why I brought it out with me to be honest. I’ve enjoyed the peace and quiet.”

  Jim gestured toward the buzzing handset. “Aren’t you going to answer it? It might be important.” He knew his voice was flat. He’d shut down again and was back to the emotionless state that he’d managed to maintain for most of the past few days. Self-preservation.

  “Oh…right…yes, I suppose I should.” She lifted the handset to her ear. “H-hello? Felicity Johnston-Hart speaking.” She stepped a few feet away. Jim inadvertently listened to the one sided conversation.

  “Really? Oh my. That’s incredible, Franco! I can’t quite believe it…it’s just quite sudden…I know…yes an amazing opportunity. Oh yes most definitely…I see…yes…oh right. So when do you need to know by? Gosh…that soon? Oh…okay, leave it with me…yes, I’ll be home in the next day or so, weather permitting… Thanks Franco…see you soon, bye.” She hung up and looked over to Jim. She looked stunned and the colour flushing her cheeks had paled significantly.

  “Are you okay?” Jim asked, keeping his face blank, an expressionless mask.

  She frowned. “Yes…yes…fine…just got some thinking to do, I suppose.” She stared off into the distance at the stunning view once again.

  “Oh? How come?” Jim was intrigued now.

  “Well…I’ve been offered a job in New York. Starting in a month.”

  His heart sank. “New York? Wow…sounds like a fantastic opportunity.” He tried to sound bright, breezy, and positive but failed miserably.

  “Yes…yes it’s fantastic. But…I just have two days to think about it.” She turned to Jim again. “It’s not long, eh?” He could tell her smile was forced, and he could see pain in her eyes. Why, he didn’t really know but the enthusiasm she should have been feeling just didn’t appear to be manifesting itself.

  He cleared his throat. “No…no it’s not long at all really. But you’ve always dreamed of working in New York. Right back when you first joined the Art world it was always a dream of yours. What is there to consider?” He knew what he wanted the answer to be, but the answer never came. She just stared blankly over the beautiful view. After a few silent moments, he touched her arm. “We should get back and eat. You’ve an early start in the morning, eh?”

  “Yes…we better had.”

  They walked slowly back toward home. Jasper covered twice the distance, running away and then back to them again, his tail wagging frantically.

  ~~~~~

  Back at the house, Felicity disappeared to her room to pack the rest of her belongings whilst Jim concocted something that smelled delicious down in the kitchen. She wandered down when she was finished and leaned against the doorframe in the kitchen.

  “Mmmm, something smells good,” she said as she watched Jim working.

  “Aye, I made us a nice beef stew with a hint of red wine. It’ll be ready in around an hour.” He smiled back over his shoulder. He looked more relaxed now. His dark hair was deliciously shaggy and he wore his favourite Soundgarden T-shirt with his tattered old black jeans that had almost faded to grey. His feet were bare. She watched his sculpted arm muscles as he worked. His backside looked good in those tired old jeans, too. He hadn’t lost his draw for her. She still found him so very attractive. It was almost an invisible pull that had only faded with distance temporarily but was back with a vengeance in the close confines of the cottage. She allowed herself to hope that when she left it would fade again. But deep down she knew that wouldn’t likely happen.

  ~~~~~

  The table was set and the wine bottle stood in the middle, a little of its contents sacrificed to the stew. Just as Jim put the plates on the table, the lights went out. Felicity jumped.

  “What’s happening?” Her voice wavered, and if Jim wasn’t mistaken, he’d swear she sounded scared.

  “Don’t tell me you’re still afraid of the dark, Felicity?” Jim chuckled.

  “Ahem…no…course not. I just can’t see what I’m eating…that’s all.” There was annoyance in her tone, but he had a huge grin on his face. It was wrong to find pleasure in her discomfort, but thankfully the lack of light meant she couldn’t see.

  “It’s just a power cut. Hang on…I have some candles…here…somewhere.” He fumbled around in a drawer. “Ahhh, gotcha.” There was a crackle and suddenly the faint glow of candles began to brighten the room. Jim placed tea lights on every surface. “Thank goodness for IKEA, eh?” He chuckled again. “It’s funny, whenever I go to that place I always seem to come away with a bag of tea lights or a few pillar candles. Now I know why.”

  Felicity giggled. “Gosh, I thought I was the only one who did that.” She looked around the room. “This is nice, actually…the candle light,” she said as she sipped her wine.

  “Aye…kind of…ah, never mind.” He shook his head.

  “Kind of what?” she asked.

  “Och, I was going to say romantic but…I don’t know…didn’t feel like the right thing to say.” He shrugged.

  “Ah.” She smiled.

  “Sooo…any more thoughts on the new job? How did it come about anyway?” He decided to gloss over the awkward pause that hung in the air.

  “Well…the guy who was heading up the new gallery in New York…a guy called Chester Withers…he’s had a kind of…nervous breakdown by the sound of it, poor thing. It must be the stress. To be honest though, from what I’d heard, he’d been losing his touch. His last few acquisitions weren’t up to standard, and Franco was unhappy but couldn’t really do much. Anyway…when Chester got too bogged
down with the stress he walked…or he was fired…I’m not that sure. Anyway, Franco wants me to take over as soon as possible.”

  “And if you say no?” Jim chewed on a mouthful of beef as he spoke.

  “Don’t know…I suppose they’d advertise. Someone would snap it up. I’m very lucky to be offered the position.”

  “Franco clearly has faith on your abilities,” Jim offered, positively.

  “Oh yes. There’s no doubt about that.” She cringed at her response and added, “Yikes, did that sound terribly conceited of me?” Her fork was halfway to her mouth.

  He winked. “Aye…but you’re allowed.”

  Felicity hit his arm playfully. “That’s it…I’m full to bursting!” She patted her tummy as she leaned back in her chair. “It was delicious. Thank you.”

  “Aye…it was rather good, wasn’t it?” he said pushing his plate away.

  Felicity giggled. “Humph…now who’s the conceited one?”

  “Touché.” Jim laughed. “Come on, let’s go sit by the fire. I’ll do the dishes in the morning when I can see.”

  ~~~~~

  The pair retired to the cosy lounge where the fire and the addition of a few tea lights gave a warm glow to the room. They sat in silence with the remainder of the bottle of wine in their glasses. The flames were quite hypnotic in their dance around the large lump of wood they surrounded. Jim watched Felicity as she watched the flames. Her loose knitted top had slipped down off her shoulder revealing her collarbone and the curve of her slender neck. He felt an aching deep inside and reached out absentmindedly to touch her there.

  She turned quickly to look at him as if shocked by the tender contact. “Jim?”

  He looked into her eyes. They looked like they were on fire as the flames were reflected back at him. He placed his glass on the table beside him and took her glass from her hand placing it next to his. Without stopping to think things through, he took her hands in his and kissed them both. She inhaled sharply as his eyes stared deep into hers.

  He leaned forward until their mouths were almost touching, anticipation building deep in the pit of his stomach. Her breathing had become a series of short inhales and exhales. He knew she felt it too, whatever the hell it was. Before he had time to consider the consequence of his actions he took her mouth with his. His hands slipped into her hair and his tongue into her mouth. She returned the kiss with as much fervour as it was being given, breaking away only to remove her top, revealing her beautiful, naked breasts. He stifled the groan bubbling up from within and pulled her to him. He kissed her again, feeling her softness again his hard chest.

  ~~~~~

  Felicity’s body ached for his touch as it had since she arrived at his door a few days ago. He didn’t disappoint her, caressing her face, neck, arms, and breasts. There was a hunger in his eyes that she had missed so, so much.

  She tugged his T-shirt over his head and stroked her hands down his torso. His body was still the most sensual thing she had ever touched, smooth skin over taut muscles. He laid her backward effortlessly and removed her yoga pants and panties until she was lying there, bared in front of him, waiting, anticipating, hoping.

  He lowered himself onto her and kissed her neck. She groaned, grasping at his back and running her hands slowly downward as he shivered under her fingertips. His jeans were soon discarded along with the other items of relinquished clothing. Neither said a word. Their eyes remained locked unless one or the other was closing them to revel in the ecstasy of their caresses. Now do you see Jim? Now do you get it?

  His now prominent desire pressed against the apex of her thighs as he rocked his pelvis back and forth, mirroring her movements. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around him and it was then that he thrust inside her. The air escaped her lungs in a breathy moan as she accepted him. Still neither of them said a word. Their bodies were connected in the most intimate way and they revelled in it. He bent to her breasts and took a tightened bud in his mouth, pulling it deep. The moan that this elicited seemed to spur him on. He stroked her face tenderly and kissed her with such passion. Felicity felt the tightening deep within her as her orgasm quickly began to take hold and she grabbed at Jim as she was overtaken by the most delicious sensations and emotions coursing through her body. It felt good. It felt amazing.

  She felt like she was home.

  ~~~~~

  Jim felt her tighten around him as he moved between her thighs, and he felt completely overwhelmed, lost in her, captivated. He gasped and groaned, locked intently onto her fiery blue gaze. As the pressure built, he nuzzled her neck, his movements becoming more urgent and rapid, nibbling and sucking at her tender flesh. The most exquisite sensations radiated throughout his body until he climaxed, shattering into a billion microscopic pieces, grasping at her hair with one hand and the other lifting her up onto him by her buttocks. He didn’t say any definable words, just noise, desperation-fuelled noise.

  He collapsed onto her and she clung onto him. He was still inside her and he didn’t want to leave. It had felt so good, so very right despite how wrong it had been. A sinking feeling set in and he knew immediately he had made a terrible mistake. This wasn’t meant to happen. They were over a long time ago. His feelings didn’t count. They never had. And he couldn’t stand to go through losing her again. It had taken years to get over her and—whom was he kidding? He had never fully gotten over her.

  ~~~~~

  She held him as he laid there, his heart pounding against her. She was desperate for him to realise how she felt. She hoped that now she’d made it clear. This was where she wanted to be, in his arms. This was the only place she had ever been truly happy. If only she could voice it, say the words.

  The fire had begun to die down as they lay there, still saying nothing. She stroked her fingers lazily up and down his spine as he remained inside her, his body slowly returning to normal. But he shifted and stood suddenly, clearly unable to make the eye contact that had been so direct only moments before.

  He pointed awkwardly toward the stairs. “I’m going to…take a quick shower and then I…I think I’ll turn in,” he announced.

  She tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling churning within and pushed it away. They had just shared such intimacy for the first time in years. Of course it would feel strange. “Okay…I’ll be up soon.” She smiled.

  When he had left the room she gathered her clothing together and slipped them back on. Her muscles ached in the best possible way. She never thought that being with him again could be possible. And she had never expected that it would feel so right. She had hoped but never really expected it. But he had instigated it so there was hope. Wasn’t there? It must have meant something…surely?

  She finished off her wine and blew out the candles. The cottage wasn’t a scary place, but she really didn’t like the dark. Much the same as she really didn’t like flying. The thought of taking the job in New York preyed on her mind for a few moments until she pushed that aside too. She went upstairs, and finding that Jim had finished, she climbed into the shower. The bathroom was still steamy. Once finished, she tiptoed along the short hallway, opened the door, and slipped into bed, naked. Beside Jim.

  Chapter 14

  When Felicity awoke she was alone. She felt a little disappointed, as she had rather hoped for a repeat of last night’s passionate lovemaking. Because that’s what it had been…hadn’t it? She heard Jim clattering about downstairs. She guessed he was in need of a hearty breakfast after the night before and smiled at the delectable memories as she stretched. She refused to think there could possibly be any other reason for his absence.

  Once she had showered and dressed in a comfy sweater and jeans, she went downstairs to where he stood. He was at the sink finishing off the dishes from their wonderful evening together. She slid her arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder.

  “Good morning, you,” she whispered, nuzzling into him.

  “Oh…good morning, Felicity,” he replied rather stoically. She f
elt him tense under her arms. He paused, keeping very still as if afraid to move. “I’ve made…some porridge. It’s keeping warm on the cooker.” He pointed in the direction of the stove. “There’s syrup…or…or I have jam?”

  “Oooh, yummy. Thank you.” She felt his eyes on her as she almost skipped over to the cooker and dished some of the gooey mixture into the bowl that he had left out for her. She drizzled golden syrup on top and sat down at the table. “So…did you sleep well?” She grinned.

  His face remained the usual impassive mask. “Aye…I did, thanks. Ahem…what time are you setting off?” he asked avoiding eye contact. He took a sip of the coffee in his mug.

  She stopped eating and looked up at him. “Oh…I…erm… Oh,” was all the response she could manage. She bit her lip as confusion and embarrassment washed over her whole body, followed by hurt. She felt her cheeks heat.

  “It’s just that it’s eight o’clock now, and I think you should get a good run at it…you know…so you don’t get caught in traffic,” Jim stated, rubbing his forehead and appearing unsettled by her reaction.

  Her eyes began to sting yet again. “Yes…yes…I suppose I should get going.” She stood to leave the room. Her chest hurt and she felt light headed.

  “Are you okay? You’ve gone pale.” Jim’s face was filled with concern.

  She nodded vehemently. “Yes…I feel a bit…dizzy that’s all. I think I stood up too quickly.”

  Jim nodded his understanding. “Aye…well finish your porridge. You can’t leave on an empty stomach, eh?”

  “Suddenly, I’m not hungry anymore.” She left the room and went upstairs.

  She sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a mixture of anger, pain, and sadness. He didn’t get it. But how could he? He was so fucking dense! Maybe it had meant nothing to him? The anger began to rise inside her as she grabbed her things together. She stomped downstairs, dragging her case behind her.