Jacob stared into the room and couldn’t help but see the dark humor in their situation. “Well, let’s get this thing over with.” He didn’t move.
Will slapped his thighs and stood. “Come on Jake. It’ll be good to see them again, and you can be damn sure we’ll get some decent food out of it. What the hell did we just eat?”
Chapter Forty-three
The first person to step off the front porch was Jacob’s father with his mother all but pushing past him. While he was captured by her embrace, he stuck out his hand to shake his father’s. Withdrawing his sweaty hand first, Jacob patted his mother’s back. Will was next, and he saw his cousin’s expression turn adolescent. “Two hardened cowboys,” Jacob mused to himself. When he looked down at his mother, her eyes full of tears, a wave of emotion took him by surprise. The love he had left behind almost two years ago washed over him. Clearing his throat to release the hard lump in it, he stepped back from his mother and looked around, barely able to meet his father’s eyes which were red-rimmed, and moist. “This is one hell of a surprise, Father.”
“I take it Austin told you,” Burt said from the side of his mouth.
“He did. And it’s still one hell of a surprise.”
“Oh!” June exclaimed. “You both need a shave and haircut before Jessica and Frederick arrive. Burt, give them the name of your man.” Then turning to her brother, “Austin, these boys are handsome under all that hair! Where’s Laura?” Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed her son and nephew by their arms. “Come on now, you two, I have plenty of food and we need to catch up. Is this a surprise to you or not? Oh, how I wish Thomas and Bethany were here. What do you think of the banner?”
Jacob looked at the material stretched across the porch rails painted “Welcome Home!” He smiled at his mother, yet he didn’t feel he had come home. He had no home.
Her energy overwhelmed him. Had he not noticed it growing up, or was he so far removed from her it felt new? In spite of everything, he was glad to see his parents well settled and happy.
Burt finally brought up the subject of his career as Jacob knew he would. Both he and Will started at once to repeat what Will suggested they say earlier, leaving out the unsavory parts. Then Jacob gave the floor to his cousin.
“We caught on fast to the selling and trade business. Many of the homesteaders appreciated our coming around to sell them what they needed and desired. We eventually went out on our own.” Jacob was impressed by Will’s smooth delivery. “It’s small right now, but I think if we work at it, we can make something of it. We were on our way into California on a few leads when we decided it would be nice to stop in and visit some family. And here you all are.” After his speech, Will turned to his cousin with a wide grin. Jacob gave him a slight nod, then looked at his father, who was clearly unimpressed.
The three men retired to Burt’s study. “Thanks for sugarcoating it for June’s sake, Will, but June’s not here, and you look like a couple of cowboys instead of salesmen.” He turned to Jacob. “Whatever it is you do, Son, make sure you don’t bring shame to this family.”
Jacob couldn’t fool his father, and frankly, he didn’t want to. But he couldn’t tell him what his life was really like. Jessica came to his thoughts, and again he wondered what she would think of him now.
~
After a long bath in the large, claw-foot tub, Jacob trimmed his beard and pulled his hair back, securing it with a leather string. He felt almost human again. He let his body succumb to the tiredness that had dogged him lately. He lie on the bed in the guest bedroom, his head on the down pillow, but his mind wouldn’t rest. Will was in the next room. It had been a long time since he’d slept without hearing his cousin’s snoring. Gazing at the flowered ceiling, he wondered how strange it was that someone took the time to paint a ceiling. How did I get here? He couldn’t believe he’d traveled this far only to receive a lecture from his father about his future. He was his own man now. He resolved to make himself a success.
His mind wandered to the times when Will would spend the night at his house or he would spend the night at Will’s. They would stay up half the night planning all the great adventures they would take when they were older, then act them out the next day. He yearned to go back to that time when their childish fantasies would always turn out in their favor, just before they were called in for supper. However blissful it felt to think of those carefree days, he wasn’t able to steer his thoughts away from Jessica for very long. Seeing her would take all his strength. What was she like now? Had Frederick turned her into a female version of himself? He punched the pillow with a curse. As he went over the day’s events, the mattress underneath him invited his body and mind to relax. Finally, he drifted off.
The next morning, Jacob was groggy from the previous evening’s heavy food and wine, and it took strong coffee to bring him around. He rocked in the chair on the porch surveying his parents’ front yard and the stretch of land beyond it, while his mother bustled inside like a squirrel gathering nuts. The scent of roses entwined among the picket fence lingered in the air. He closed his eyes and let the sweet aroma waft over him.
The distant sound of horses’ hooves took him from his serenity. The wheels of the carriage crunching on the dry gravel made him sit up and take notice. It was fancier than most. It came around the circular driveway and stopped at the gate. Jacob stood up. She wasn’t due until tomorrow.
The driver opened the door and assisted a finely dressed young woman down the short step. Once on solid ground, she lifted her head to him. Not trusting his legs, he slowly approached her. This was the moment he’d longed for and dreaded. He tried to calm his tense body, refusing to give in to his emotions. He was a man now, his youth lost to the trails. A smile crossed Jessica’s face and he was lost. His mind said to give her a peck on the cheek, but his heart wanted to take her to him and devour every inch of her.
~
Inside, her head was like a bass drum keeping time. Jacob looked different. His lanky body had filled out with muscle, and the strength of his presence gave her pause. Then he smiled, and she saw the youthful man she loved. She spoke his name, and he took a step forward. Rushing into his arms, she held on to him as if he might not be real.
Her face was cupped in his hands, and his kiss was deep and full of love–a love that haunted her every day. The surge of lust that ran through her entire being was too much, and she gently pulled herself away. He wiped the tears from her cheek, and they examined each other. She began to laugh, releasing the tension.
“God, I missed you,” he said.
Barely able to speak, she whispered, “Oh, how I’ve missed you, too.”
Sam came around with her cases, and she stepped back from Jacob. “We should go inside.” Before they could reach the bottom step of the porch, June came running out.
“Jessica! I didn’t expect you until tomorrow. Is he not a handsome sight to see? Oh, you should have seen him before he trimmed his beard. My Lord, what a fright! I don’t think Will has touched a bit of his own whiskers, so be prepared. Isn’t this just wonderful? No matter the timing, I’m so happy you’re here.” She hurried in the house before them.
Jacob pulled Jessica aside and stole another kiss. She held on tightly until Sam entered the foyer. She felt the heat in her face as she turned to the driver who waited for her instructions. “Thank you, Sam, that will be all.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
As she contemplated what Sam saw, Jacob brushed up against her, and she was taken back to their reunion. Feeling his body next to her brought back the joy she thought she had lost forever. For now, he was safe and they were together.
Her uncle entered from his study and welcomed his niece. “Burt, go wake up Will and tell him his sister is here,” June insisted.
“I’m sure he’s heard you, June. He’ll be down in his own time.”
Before long, Will appeared downstairs. “Hello, Jess.” He grabbed her off the floor and swung her around. “It’s goo
d to see you.”
“Will!” Jessica laughed as he set her back down. She leaned into him. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Sis. You sure are a beautiful sight.” Will glared at Jacob. “I happened to be at the window when your carriage arrived.”
A flush of heat bloomed in her face. Her brother had witnessed their reunion. “My husband arrives tomorrow.” She hooked her arm around her aunt’s thick forearm and guided her to the dining table. “Auntie, the food smells delicious.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Shall we eat?”
The family lingered at the table, reminiscing and sharing their present lives. Jessica was distracted by what thoughts her brother might be thinking. He gave no sign of discord with her, but she noticed he looked severely at Jacob during the entire meal. She sipped her tea as her cousin and brother talked of their adventures.
“Will, tell them about the time we met up with that cougar. I thought he was going to kill us for sure.”
June gasped.
Will amused them with his story, concluding with, “We tried to make ourselves look dangerous, and he finally took off with a growl. I guess he wasn’t too hungry. I doubt we actually scared him off.” Then he quickly changed the subject. “Jess, how’s that husband of yours?”
“He’s fine.” Jessica wiped her mouth with her napkin. “He’s been working at the San Francisco Savings and Loan as a financial investor. He helps people ‘expand’ their money, as he likes to say. He’s quite good at it. Perhaps tomorrow you can talk to him about your own business investments.”
“We might have a few extra pennies to throw in the bank,” Will said, amused.
Jessica noticed Jacob raise his brows. In truth she wanted them to stay clear of Frederick.
Chapter Forty-four
The day’s heat and generous meal made Will and Jacob as lazy as tired pups. June showed them her vegetable garden, tilled and ready for next year’s planting. “The men I hired did a fine job of it, wouldn’t you agree?” She beamed.
Burt showed off his woodworking shed. “I have a woodworker teaching me a few things.” He showed them the rugged beginnings of a tobacco pipe.
Later that day, Jessica, Will, and Jacob sprawled on the green grass under a large weeping willow near the garden. The turned-up earth had crusted over and a breeze swirled up dust like tiny tornados, but the long, sweeping bows of the willow kept the grime away. Jessica inhaled the aroma of good earth and sweet eucalyptus. If she were alone, she would have lounged on the cotton quilt and let sleep take her to a garden of dreams. She sat with her legs to one side, her full yellow print skirt around her. She felt like a child again, free from the weight of the world. Stealing a smile from Jacob when Will was busy swatting a fly, she was eager to relate her love to him. The three talked of younger days, and each one teased the other for doing this or that, which now seemed so long ago.
“Boy, if we’re reminiscing at our age, what are we going to be like when we really get old?” Will remarked.
“We’ll just have a lot more to remember and talk about,” Jessica said. She tried to hold onto the moment before, it too, became a distant memory. She touched a finger to her damp upper lip and caught Jacob looking at her. He closed his eyes and dipped his head. She had to put a hand to her waist to hold back her desire. Her brother spoke, and the wave of lust that nearly crashed onto shore went back out to sea. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I was asking you about your trip across the country. Aunt June said you traveled alone. How did Father permit such a thing?”
She straightened her back. “It’s not what you think. It was all planned. Frederick just wanted to have everything ready for me when I arrived here, and he did. Our house is lovely. I had an earful from Father–and still do–in every letter he sends. Mother’s better about it, though she’s not over it either.”
Her brother and cousin exchanged questioning looks.
“Was it a good trip or not?” Jacob asked.
“There was some discomfort but doesn’t all travel have its bit of discomfort somewhere along the way? It was a little over a week and it went by quickly. …” Her words trailed off as she swept a piece of grass from her skirt. She wondered why she couldn’t tell them of her hardship coming to this place and the life she now led, part in public, part in secret. But they would only challenge Frederick, who would take out his frustration on her. Suddenly chilled, she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. Was the late summer breeze sharpening?
“All right,” Will conceded. “We’re all here now. That’s all that matters.”
Relishing the moment, however brief, Jessica relaxed, and the September heat returned to her body.
“And how is the old man?” Will asked.
“He’s fine, I suppose. Mother hinted he may be working too hard. He hasn’t found a replacement for Uncle Burt, and since Frederick decided to … He’s been taking on too many cases lately, even though the business would do just as well with a lighter load. He’s become even more stubborn.”
“I can imagine him becoming a martyr in his old age. I just hope he doesn’t run himself into the ground trying to prove he can keep the business going by himself.”
Jessica sighed in agreement. “Jacob, your parents are happy here. They’re trying to get our parents out here. I doubt they will succeed, but I do think it would be good for Father.”
“Do you really want them close, Jess?” Will asked. “By God, I can’t think of it.”
“Oh, Will, you’re too hard on them.” Her feelings mirrored her brother’s. How would she be able to keep up her charade with both sets of parents asking about her marriage and her mother hounding her about grandchildren? She didn’t have much freedom in her life, and having her parents near meant she would have even less. She relished the woman she was covertly becoming. “I agree, they are a bit stifling.”
The day turned to evening as the sun dipped behind the eucalyptus. The reddish light peeking through the boughs cast a magical glow. Jessica closed her eyes. She didn’t want the day to end.
“I’m going to the house,” Will announced. “Are you two joining me?”
“We’ll be along,” Jacob said.
“Jake,” Will implored.
“We’ll be along, I said.” Will got up and slowly walked away.
Jessica tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She was alone with Jacob. All the times she had yearned for this, and now she felt self-conscious. Jacob locked onto her eyes, and they were lost in their own world.
He took her hand in his. “What is your life really like, Jess?”
She paused, contemplating what to divulge. “I have a decent life.”
He chuckled. “Decent? That’s not good or bad, but some horrible purgatory.”
Squeezing his hand, she drew closer. “I want you to know that I love you, and I’ve never stopped. I’ve tried. It’s been. …” She turned away, blinking away stinging tears.
Jacob put his arm around her, and she succumbed to his touch. “I know. It’s been difficult for me too. I almost backed out of coming here. I didn’t know if I could bear seeing you, only to walk away–again. I love you, Jess.”
Her body quaked, and he held her tighter. Nestling into him, she felt his hand stroke her hair, yet she couldn’t relax. The shelter of the trees that kept them out of sight of her aunt’s house was too tempting. She moved to rise, and Jacob quickly helped her to her feet. Shaking the quilt out, then brushing her skirt, she let his words resonate through her. He took the blanket from her and tucked it under his arm.
“May I see you tonight?” he whispered.
“Yes.” Her heart quickened from her bold response. She wiped the bead of sweat from her brow, then hooked her arm around his, and they walked back without another word.
Chapter Forty-five
Unable to keep his anticipation in check, Jacob paced the room he shared with Will. It was larger than the other guest room, with two narrow beds and a small table and lamp betwe
en them. The cheery wallpaper and large window reminded him of his childhood home, and indeed, he felt as careless as a teenager. He reviewed the consequences of his planned actions, but they hardly seemed to matter. Living his life on the edge was something he had gotten used to. He settled on the end of the bed, rubbing his whiskers nervously. Jessica was in the room he had just occupied, her body in the bed he had lain in. He ran his fingers through his long hair. In back of him he heard Will fluff a pillow and let out a satisfied groan.
“Don’t get used to this, Cuz. I have no intention of staying here. We need to make some money.”
“Relax, Jake. Let me just get a few more nights’ sleep and more of June’s food, and I think I’ll be ready to go back to selling my soul again.”
For a small price, they had secured the guns and other items left from their recent trades in the safe at the saloon in town. Their cash traveled with them. They kept it out of sight, neatly tucked away in their packs. It was just enough to allow them to continue on, yet not enough to give them much incentive to keep doing what they had grown weary of. They had to find it in themselves to stick with it–and with each other–until they could hatch a better plan.
“If we head into the northern interior, we might be able to make some easy dough,” Will began. “There are plenty of farmers who need guns. Maybe some Indians, too. If we make enough, let’s come back and invest with Freddie.”
“We’ll see.” Jacob grabbed his pack and pulled out a map. “Let’s stay away from unfriendly territories. I’m not up for any confrontations. We’ll ask around. I don’t know about Frederick. I don’t trust him.”
Will pulled himself up and cleared his throat. “You have to let her go. Stop imagining that this might all turn out for the best because it won’t.”
The stinging weight of Will’s words cut sharply into Jacob’s gut. He continued to study the map. He knew what it took for his cousin to knock on that beehive. “Hey, I’m the one who wants to move on as fast as possible. Besides, this has nothing to do with you.”
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