by Beth Michele
He had me at fucking lemons.
Truth be told, he had me long before that. But the lemons sealed the deal. How could lemons make anyone this fucking happy? I didn’t have the answer. All I could go by was the fucking marathon my heart was running.
Sam paid attention. He cared enough to notice. He saw me, and he didn’t look away. Instead, he dug deeper.
My lips wanted to utter words they never had before. My body was out of control with want for him. I couldn’t make sense of anything I was feeling. Like a jumbled fucking ball of emotion, I was picking up momentum. Unable to stop it. Just praying I didn’t crash land.
I brought my other hand up to cradle his face. His cheek was partially smooth, partially rough. The day-old stubble lining his jaw prickled my fingers. I let my hand slide lower, thumb pressing into the pulse point at his neck. I wanted to lick him there. Suck the salt from his skin. But my tongue didn’t want to leave his mouth. He was so fucking warm, and wet, and I was hard. But we were in broad daylight and the things I wanted to do to him were not gonna fly on the beach. Backing away from his mouth, I smiled.
I fucking smiled.
And I couldn’t do a thing about it. Nor did I want to. Sam smiled back, his eyes deep pools of brown. God, I loved his eyes. It was hard to look into them because I saw so much there. Even after all the time we’d spent together and everything he’d expressed, a part of me still didn’t feel worthy of him. I was just this loner with shitty baggage, and he was… well, he was Sam. Smart and caring, and funny.
My forehead dropped to his, needing to escape his gaze. I was panting, as was Sam. Our noses touching, breathing unable to be kept quiet. My hands fell to his shoulders, like I had to ground myself for fear I’d float away.
I’d known a similar feeling once before. Back when I was ten years old. Sitting on the creaky, rusted swings at Tolfield Park. The forgotten playground with brown grass and a moldy water fountain that doubled as a bird bath. I sat on that decrepit piece of metal for hours on end, eyes closed, legs reaching for the clouds. Flying. At the time, I didn’t think anything could beat that feeling.
I was wrong.
Sam was the first one to pull away. He placed his hand over mine and leaned in to touch his lips to my brow. I shut my eyes, trying to get my breathing to level out. Deciding instead to push past the fear pressing on my chest.
“I want… no I need… to be alone with you,” I whispered. “To be close to you.”
“I’m right here, Drew. And I’m ready whenever you are.”
I didn’t need to hear anything else.
Making sure to keep a firm hold of Sam’s fingers, I pushed off the sand and pulled him up before we started the long trek back to the hotel. We were both lost in our own thoughts as anticipation drummed through my veins. The closer we got to our destination, the more wound up I became. I wasn’t used to expressing myself physically. It was always just an outlet for me, a mode of revenge or release. But now it was something entirely different. And I wanted it with every fiber of my fucking being.
As we entered the lobby, Sam broke our extended silence. “My room?”
“Nah. My room.” I grinned. “For a change of pace.”
“Yes, change is good,” he volleyed back, and then we were both laughing. Because we were so fucking ridiculous.
Our amusement was short-lived though. Because the moment Sam walked into my room, I didn’t allow him a second to breathe. I pressed my palms flat against his chest and shoved him back toward the wall, crowding him. My mouth was on his, fast and furious, as I took what I wanted. For an instant, I felt my old self poke through and was afraid to overwhelm him, didn’t want him thinking this was just about sex for me. But it was the only way I knew to show him how I felt. To say with my body what I couldn’t seem to express with words.
I parted his lips with my eager tongue then slipped inside to lick every corner of his willing mouth. He moaned and my dick responded, pushing tight against the zipper of my shorts. I pictured dragging the head of my cock down the taut skin of his stomach and leaving a sticky trail of arousal. The visual made me groan and I wanted to rip our fucking clothes off. But I told myself to calm the fuck down. That there was no rush. And I didn’t want to speed through things with Sam. I wanted to make them last.
As I eased out of his mouth, I sucked on the sweet curve of his bottom lip. Drifting lower, I let my tongue skim over his rough, unshaven jaw, edging my way across the tender flesh of his neck. Using teeth and lips to leave an impression. Needing to claim all that smooth, flawless skin. His head dropped back against the wall, giving me more access I took full advantage of. I brought my hands up to frame his neck, rotating between kissing and biting. He smelled like some kind of citrusy fruit and tasted like salt and fucking sunshine. Sam made me crazy, and my nerves left me awkward and desperate. I grabbed hold of his biceps and spun him around, guiding him until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he fell onto the mattress.
I was usually a lot sexier in my efforts, but it was all going to shit. Especially when Sam shot me a knowing smile. “You don’t have to work so hard. I’m already a foregone conclusion, and I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone. Ever.”
All the air got sucked out of my lungs. I was stunned speechless. Sam just, well, he knocked me the fuck over with his bluntness.
I laughed then, maybe to relieve my nerves, or maybe because Sam was fucking funny. But there was nothing funny about the way he looked—leaning back on his elbows, eyes bright as fuck, lips mischievous and happy. Not to mention the massive bulge in his shorts that was hard to miss.
Without another thought, I crawled onto the bed. Keeping my hands on either side of him, I used my knee to wedge his firm thighs apart so I could fit between them. Even through our clothes, there was enough heat to start a fucking inferno. Couple that with the alignment of our erections, and I couldn’t help but grind against him.
I lowered my head to take his lips in a hard kiss, swallowing his surprised breath. Sam groaned, the vibration in my throat made me fucking insane with want and I severed our connection.
“I want you naked.” I panted.
“Ditto.”
From here on out, I would forever be the fucking poster boy for island apparel and the ease it took to remove it. The second we were both naked, I bunched our clothes together and tossed them over my shoulder. Sam laughed.
“A bit of a neat freak, are you?”
I chuckled, hitching a leg over his incredibly naked body and straddled him. His cock nestled between the crack of my ass and I couldn’t suppress my groan. My body longed for friction—for Sam—for the release of all this caged emotion. He glanced down at my arousal, the tip already glistening with moisture. My dick was so hard it could’ve cut steel.
“Impressive, isn’t it?”
The amusement deepening his smile tapered off. “I was thinking more along the lines of beautiful.”
His words made me choke on my fucking humor. It was impossible to be funny when Sam was staring at me with those dancing eyes.
I leaned over, bringing my mouth to the sweet spot of his pulse that drew me in earlier. My lips opened against his skin and I inhaled through my nose. “God, you smell good,” I whispered, before my tongue darted out, forging a messy trail of saliva down his throat, behind his ear, over the smooth expanse of his neck. I moved down, circling his nipple and capturing it between my teeth. Sam was starting to squirm beneath me, rubbing up against my dick. I had to slide off of him, otherwise I was gonna come.
“Please don’t stop, baby,” he moaned.
I paused, realizing what he’d said. Not knowing where it came from or why it was doing strange fucking things to my chest. But I ignored it, focusing on all of Sam beneath my lips. His smooth skin pleading for my tongue. When I reached his belly button, he lifted his hips. So eager.
“Scooch higher,” I whispered, and he shimmied his body nearer to the headboard. With my hands braced on his strong, muscular
thighs, I settled between his legs. Unable to resist leaning closer to breathe in his musky scent. Coarse hair tickled my nose and I buried my face there before teasing his balls with my tongue. The soft moans leaving his mouth were making me crazy hard and I rutted up against the blanket to find temporary relief.
My balls tightened. Sam was turning me the fuck on and he wasn’t even touching me. I flicked my tongue against his shaft, gliding it back and forth from base to tip. Once, twice, three times, until his cock jumped and a trail of sticky pre-come seeped from his slit.
“Drew, please.” He begged. I knew what he wanted, but I loved hearing the hoarse need in his tone. My tongue swirled around his smooth head, lapping up the wetness. “Take me in your mouth.”
His words, sweet and gravelly, ignited my own need. I wrapped my lips around his thick crown and took him deep. Hollowed my cheeks as I sucked. Leaned one arm against his leg and brought my other hand up to stroke him. I watched his fingers clutching at the sheet, hips flexing. He wanted more and I wanted to give him more—to give him the parts of me I was unwilling to share with anyone else.
Saliva pooled in my throat and leaked from the corner of my mouth as my lips slid over his cock. Sam let out a long, uneven groan, so close to his own release I could taste it. I sped up, reaching down to cup his balls. He cried out through heavy breaths and I kept going, sucking harder, faster, wanting to swallow it all. To see him reckless and undone.
“Oh, fuck.”
I didn’t let go of him until I had milked him dry. Even then, I pressed kisses along his length while his breathing returned to normal. When I lifted my gaze, Sam was staring. He motioned me forward with his finger.
“Come here.”
How he made two words feel like an invisible string tugging me forward, I’d never know. It was impossible to explain. In such a short time, Sam had become someone to me. I’d never had a someone before.
I skimmed along his stomach until we were eye to eye, my body blanketing his, hands anchored on either side of his head. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, but his gaze on my face was like a fucking caress. My back felt the weight of his hand as his fingers skated up and down my spine.
“That was amazing.”
I hoped my grin masked the fear hiding behind it. “It was, wasn’t it?”
“Drew.” The way he said my name told me the jig was up. That he could see right through me. My heart thundered in my chest as he leaned up to kiss me. It was too soft—too real—filled with too many things someone like me wasn’t capable of. I pulled back. My eyes found a spot on the blanket and I rolled away from him. But he didn’t let me get far. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.” I sat up along the edge of the bed, giving Sam my back. It was so much less than he deserved. Jesus, I was all over the fucking place. It would’ve served me right if he’d gotten up and left.
He placed his hand on my shoulder and I shivered from that simple touch alone. “You need to tell me what you’re thinking. I mean,” he clarified, “I’m not trying to push you, but don’t keep it in. Let’s at least talk about it.”
Sam was so fucking level-headed. Whereas me, I was everywhere and nowhere all at once. I knew I wanted him, but didn’t deserve him. But he did deserve to know what I was thinking. I owed him that much.
I shifted my body to face him and sat with my legs crossed. My erection had withered, and surprisingly, was the least of my concerns. Sam squeezed my knee and I released a breath that did nothing to calm me down. Nerves raced through me as he held my gaze. I licked my dry lips. “We haven’t known each other for long, and yet, I feel so connected to you. I can’t fucking explain it. And I… don’t know how to be… what to do.”
“You don’t need to do,” he whispered on a soft smile. “You just need to feel.” He tilted his head, gaze warm. “Now come here.”
My mouth pulled up on one side. “You said that already.”
He let out a short laugh as he shook his head. “You are such a smartass.”
My grin spread wider. “You know you love it.”
Flecks of gold brightened his eyes. “I do.” He bent his head, taking my lips in a kiss that sealed his words. My heart exploded. Because all I did was feel with Sam. As much as I tried not to, it was fucking futile.
I was scared to want this. But here I was, entrenched in it. Wanting it. Wanting him. And so I gave in, my body going limp against him as he wrapped an arm around my chest, as his hand closed around my cheek and he angled my head. His tongue ravaged my mouth yet he was still so gentle. My fingers dug into his waist, trying to anchor him to me. I never knew a kiss could bind two people together. But this one did.
Sam backed out of my mouth, his breath heavy against my lips. He held my face, his voice was soft. “You have to know I’m falling for you, Drew.”
He wasn’t the only one falling. But I was afraid that I was going to be the one to crash and burn.
IT WAS EFFORTLESS to say the words. And for once in my life, I refused to overanalyze it. To think about how little time had passed. Because why did that even matter? The heart isn’t controlled by time or external forces. But it would take a lot more work to convince Drew.
In many ways, he was like a scared little boy. I saw it in the fear sitting behind his eyes. He was world-weary, and I couldn’t blame him. From the pieces of information he’d shared with me, his life had been a hard one. While mine, for the most part, had been a walk in the park.
My brain was such a scary place to be right now. Inside, I was spiraling. Wanting Drew, having Drew, losing Drew. I needed to know how all this was going to play out. In less than a week, we’d both be headed home. A knot formed in my stomach and I told myself to stop. This wasn’t something I could arrange like the shirts in my closet. Similar to my stories, it couldn’t be manipulated.
Drew lured me back. “I want ice cream.”
From anyone else, that request at this exact moment would’ve given me pause. But with Drew, I’d come to expect the unexpected. Besides, I knew he needed a reprieve. Even if it was in the form of ice cream.
“Okay.” I clapped my hands. “What flavor?”
“YOU THINK YOU have enough cherries on there?” Drew teased, attempting to spoon one off my bowl of vanilla. We were sitting side by side in our boxers, reclining against a heap of pillows.
I clinked my spoon against his, trying to block his attempt. “I have a thing for cherries like you have a thing for lemons.”
“I guess it’s safe to say you won’t be sharing?”
“You already have one,” I countered. But then I lifted the ice-cream covered cherry away from my bowl and threw it into his. Enormous scoops of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry sat on top of two long strips of banana. Three different sauces dripped from the sides. “Do you know I’ve never had a banana split before?”
Drew shot me a one-eyed glance. “Never?”
“Nope. I don’t like anything mixed with my ice cream.”
He grinned. “Except cherries.”
“Well, those aren’t mixed in, they’re just on top.” It struck me how ridiculous that sounded. Glenn used to razz me about it, but Drew, he didn’t bat an eyelash. He shrugged, shoveling in more ice cream.
“Whatever floats your boat.”
I wanted to tell Drew he floated my boat, but that would’ve sounded stupid. Instead, I decided to put the focus on him. “So, I was wondering something?” He nodded, too busy swimming in ice cream to lift his head. “I know you said that you grew up poor. I was just curious how you and your mom made it to Hawaii?”
He paused with the spoon halfway to his mouth before sending it back into the bowl with a thunk. “My grandfather, actually. Remember how I mentioned he had money? Well, when my mom was growing up, he was set in his ways and very strict. He had a lot of rules and one of them was if she ever married outside of the Catholic faith he would cut her off. My father was Italian and part Jewish. He also came from a poor family which my grandfat
her didn’t like. He wanted her to marry someone who met his standards. Basically, he wanted her to be happy as long as it was happiness according to his fucking rules.”
Drew sighed, deep from his chest. “After she graduated high school, she married my father and that was it. She sealed her fate and ended up cleaning houses and living in a piss-poor section of the Bronx. But eventually when my grandfather found out he had cancer, he tried to make amends. A few months before she died he brought us here.”
He went on, swirling the spoon around his ice cream. “I never understood it, you know. I mean, I totally get the part about him not liking my father. Fuck, I didn’t like my father. But not for the same reasons. And to cut her off like that, and see her living in such bad conditions when he could’ve helped her. I’ll never understand it. And yet, I’m grateful to him. Because the money he left me allowed me to go to college and have a better life. I didn’t want to take it at first, but I wanted the hell out of there. I just wish…” He cleared his throat and started again. “I just wish my mom could’ve had the same. She was such a good person and she worked so hard.”
My fingers crawled over to his on the blanket and he looked down. “I bet wherever your mom is now she’s smiling, knowing you have that better life she wanted for you.”
His gaze slowly climbed to mine. “Yeah. And she did have one hell of a smile.”
“I bet. Just like her son,” I added, nudging his foot with my own. Red bloomed on his cheeks and he dug into his bowl, quiet as he scooped more ice cream.
“What about your folks?”
“Mine?” I chuckled. “If I had to describe them in a word, I’d say characters.” The smile on his face told me he wanted to hear more and for some reason that pleased me. “Let’s see. You already know my mother is a psychologist so she likes to talk. Although I think in another life she wanted to be an actress. She has a tendency to reminisce about her high school days where she was in drama club and did local shows. But she’s funny and she doesn’t take herself too seriously. And my father, he’s this big, burly guy, but he’s a total softie. He has this weird obsession with video recordings and he literally walks around with an old recorder getting us on film randomly.”