by Katy Jordan
Jack looked at the girl that stood in front of him. He couldn’t help but think how magnificent she was. This girl buried everything to help people without attracting attention.
In his eyes, that was the definition of a hero: someone that just wanted to do good.
“Tell me what happened.”
Bullet walked to the bed and collapsed on to it, Jack right at her back.
He crouched down in front of her, his hand on her knee. She closed her eyes, recalling everything that happened that night and thereafter.
“We went to a friend’s house warming party. Someone we went to school with had just bought this enormous bungalow, and we hadn’t seen him in forever. I remember Jenna was so excited; she used to have this massive crush on him. Watt was at that party,” she said, looking Jack in the eye for the first time since she walked to the window.
“The night went on, both of us were pretty drunk, and I was in the hall waiting for someone to come out of the bathroom. There was this… hellish, horrible scream… that came from the bedroom. I ran in and…” Bullet’s voice faded away as her sobs took over.
Jack got up and sat on the bed next to her, taking her hand.
“You saw them.”
“No, I… I saw her. And someone fleeing out of the bedroom window. But, David Watt was the only one that was missing from that party even before we called the police.”
“And I bet he claimed he left earlier.”
“Yeah, he did,” she confirmed.
Bullet squeezed Jack’s hand. She couldn’t believe she was saying this out loud, let alone to another person.
“After that night, Jenna wasn’t the same,” she continued, “she was jumpy, jittery, quiet and I mean quiet. I was with her for every interview, every appointment, court date, doctor’s visits, you name it. She was scared; everyone constantly asking her ‘are you sure you were raped?’, ‘are you sure you want to press charges?’, ‘are you sure you’re ready for this?’. And these weren’t just people, this was the police and lawyers asking all these questions.”
Jack shook his head in disbelief at her words.
“Anyway,” she began again through her sniffles, “it came to the trial, and he claimed the ‘sex’ was consensual. I was asked for my testimony as a corroborating witness. I didn’t even think about it, I instantly said yes. I was up there and… I was ripped to shreds. They said I was a waste of the court’s time because I didn’t actually see anything, so I couldn’t place Watt in the room, and so I couldn’t prove that Jenna was raped. He walked.”
“Aw, Bullet,” Jack breathed, the hate of seeing her hurt was more than visible, “he didn’t walk because of you. He walked because there was some kind of doubt with the jury. A technicality. Not you.”
“The doubt was my testimony. I didn’t see anything, I couldn’t prove it was him. I let her down,” Bullet sobbed, “and it’s like she knew it was all going to crumble, because she killed herself the day before.”
“Look,” Jack twisted himself on the bed to face her, “what you went through was terrible, and I can’t believe you’ve kept this to yourself for so long. But, Jenna would be proud of you for what you’ve done since.”
Bullet got a fright. She looked at him, wondering how he knew what she had done.
“What do you mean?” she asked forcefully.
“All the good. Helping people, not asking for anything in return, having everyone’s back. Jenna would have forgiven you. Now, you need to forgive yourself.”
Bullet got up and walked over to the chest of drawers, leaning back against it. She shoved her hair out of her face and pulled a tissue out of the tub that sat on top of the unit to dry her eyes.
“Neon found me right after that,” she admitted.
“What?” asked Jack, baffled, “How?”
“I don’t know how he found me, but he did. He knew my name, my history and everything that had happened with the case. He said we were destined to meet because he was going to help me.”
“How was he going to help you?” Jack probed, filled with worry.
“He was going to help me find meaning in my life and find closure. Find myself.”
“Did he?”
Bullet thought about Jack’s question. It was one that she had asked herself a lot over the years, and to this day, had never come up with an answer.
“I used to think he did,” she admitted.
“And what about now?”
“Why?”
“What?” Jack asked, perplexed.
“Why is it so important if I felt like he helped me or not?” Bullet clarified, “I knew him once. That’s it.”
Bullet stormed into the bathroom and started taking her makeup off.
“Seriously?” Jack snapped, following her through and standing in the doorway. “Why do you keep pulling away from me when things get uncomfortable? What have I done to make you think you can’t trust me?”
“You kidnapped Flare and beat the crap out of her, for one!” Bullet burst out.
The flood gates opened and regret filled her to the brim.
Without a word, Jack about turned and went straight for the bedroom door.
“Jack, wait, I’m sorry! I don’t know why I said that!”
“Because you believe it.”
“No, I don’t!”
“Well, what DO you believe?” he yelled.
“That what you did to Flare is literally the only thing you’ve done wrong since I’ve known you, but I completely understand why you did it!” she screamed, begging him with her eyes to forgive her.
Jack shook his head and went to open the door, but Bullet came to the back of him and pushed it closed again.
“Please don’t leave,” she whispered.
They stayed still for a moment, their breathing accelerating drastically.
Bullet leaned on Jack, running her hand down his back.
“What do you believe?” Jack asked again, not moving away, nor turning his head.
Both of them stood exactly where they were.
“I believe you.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Jack sniped.
He turned around so that his face was right in hers. He gazed into those deep, dark eyes that looked back at him.
“How did he help you?”
Bullet held Jack’s gaze, manically trying to figure out what to say to him. Regret had turned into confusion, which turned into anxiety, and back to confusion.
She was drowning.
Bullet tried to turn away, but Jack grabbed her around her waist forcefully and held her close.
“How did he help you?” he snarled.
Bullet closed her eyes. She saw Jenna standing there, smiling at her.
That smile that Bullet never saw in the last year of Jenna’s life.
She nodded her head.
Without opening her eyes, Bullet let it out.
“He helped me to find David Watt… and avenge my best friend.”
Jack’s eyes slowly closed in mental rejection.
“Neon convinced you to, and helped you to kill David Watt,” Jack explicated.
Bullet nodded. Jack let her go.
They stood there staring at one another.
Bullet tried to keep his eye, hold his gaze, but she buckled, the tears still flowing, her anxiety levels through the roof. She was shaking. She folded her arms defensively and looked at the floor.
“He told me after that that it was the beginning of a new era,” she continued, “that the Black Bullet was born.”
“And Georgina Wells was dead,” Jack stated.
Bullet went numb.
She looked at the man facing her. His gaze was different.
It was cold, judgemental, condescending.
“How did you…”
“Neon had a file on you in his office. I managed to take pictures of it on my phone and… I read it,” Jack admitted, shuffling on the spot at her reaction.
“Bullet… I’ve known about yo
ur past the whole time.”
Chapter Thirteen
Jack and Bullet were still in her room on the top floor of Colour Coded headquarters. Much time had passed since Jack revealed that he knew about Bullet’s past.
Bullet was now pacing again; this time angry rather than anxious.
Jack stood still, his eyes following her back and forth like a riveting tennis match.
Occasionally, she would stop and look at him, about to say something, and then change her mind and continue pacing.
It was the most awkward and guilt-stricken that Jack had ever felt.
“Why? Why would you do that?” Bullet burst suddenly, exasperated.
“The file was there, I… I wanted to know who I was working for,” Jack defended.
“You were working for Colour Coded. We told you how we run. No history. Just us.”
“I know. Look, I’m sorry, okay?”
“How much did you read?” Bullet asked, ignoring his apology.
“What?”
“Is that all you know? What else did you find out?”
“I don’t know anything else.”
“Don’t lie to me, Jack.”
“I’m not lying, I swear, that’s all I know! I mean, jeez, how much more could there possibly be after all that?”
Bullet stared at him, waiting for the penny to drop.
“There were two other files in there,” Jack said.
“Mm-hmm, and who were the four people that worked for Neon?”
“You… Rocket, Sparrow and Flare.”
“Okay, so, what do you think was in the other files?” Bullet interrogated him. “Or do you already know?”
“I’m telling you, I don’t. I just looked at yours.”
“Because we all have a past. We give them up because we’re not proud of them; we want a fresh start, we’ve been involved in criminal activity, or, like me, all of the above,” Bullet reiterated. “You’re absolutely sure you didn’t read anyone else’s file?”
“No… but I was going to,” he admitted, “I was planning to take pictures of everything, but all I got was yours and then I heard someone coming so I hid, and that’s when I bumped into Gecko.”
“Gecko said you didn’t find anything,” Bullet stabbed at him, her eyes piercing through him.
She knew, deep down, that if anyone should be bombarding someone with questions, it should be Jack asking her.
“Why, if you knew the whole time, why on earth would you put me through that and make me tell you? Why would you make me say it out loud?” she pleaded.
“Because you had to say it to someone,” Jack explained, coming towards her slowly. “You can’t keep things like that to yourself, it messes with you. It eats you from the inside out.”
Bullet looked at him, calculatively.
She was trying to read him to see if he was lying or if he was sincere.
In all honesty, she didn’t have a clue.
“But, the file… was just a file. It was plain. Black and white. Facts. ‘This is what happened’. Dates, times, locations. There was nothing about you in there.”
“What’re you talking about? The file was about me.”
“There was no emotion. There was nothing of you. The real you.”
Bullet’s heart sank.
The man that entered her room earlier; the one that seemed to care about her, and wanted to know everything about her, appeared to have returned.
“The girl that saves lives and asks for nothing. The girl that does so much good but doesn’t want anyone to know it was her. The girl that blames herself and is ready to give up everything because she made a mistake,” he said, gesturing to his shoulder. “The girl who’s beautiful smile has always hidden a grave and horrible secret. That girl. You. There was nothing in there about her, and that’s the bit I wanted to know about.”
Bullet stared at him completely stunned.
This was NOT the reaction she was expecting. But, she couldn’t deny that her heart was pounding with sheer joy that this was how he was taking it.
“You’re not going to leave?”
Jack smiled at her encouragingly.
“No.”
He made his way towards her again.
This time, Bullet didn’t back away.
With no warning, she burst into tears, and Jack grabbed her, holding her as tight as he could with his one arm. The pressure she was putting on his shoulder was excruciating, but he didn’t care.
He’d go through any amount of pain to be right where he was in that moment.
“Aren’t you glad you got to tell me in your own words?” he whispered.
As the tears still streamed down her cheeks, Bullet couldn’t help but smile.
Someone knew.
Someone knew, and they weren’t mad at her.
They let go.
Jack looked at her with a smile, holding her hand, like he was proud of her.
Bullet felt like a huge weight had been lifted. It was as though she was floating, yet her feet were firmly on the ground.
“How can you be so okay with this?” Bullet said, the voices of disbelief in her head still gnawing at her. “I killed a man, in cold blood, and you’re looking at me like all I’ve said is that I stole a car and took it for a joy ride.”
Jack’s smile faded.
He looked down at the floor, contemplating on how he was going to answer her.
“Because I’ve got a past, too,” he admitted, “I’ve done things that I’m not proud of. I’ve got history, baggage… whatever you want to call it. It’s also the thing that Neon holds against me.”
“He holds what against you?” Bulled pried.
“Everything,” Jack replied, turning away from her and walking aimlessly across her room. “Everything and anything. He used it as leverage against me all the time and he’ll probably continue to do it. So, yeah. I get it.”
Bullet walked up behind him and placed her hands gently on his back. She slid her hands down and around his waist, feeling him tense at her touch, and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe you know and you’re still here.”
“At first, when I read it, I thought: how could someone do something like that?” he explained, “but, when Youth put up those articles about The Lion’s Den and Watt, and then Jenna… I knew. Neon emotionally blackmailed you.”
He turned around to face her again, maintaining her hold on him.
“Tell me how.”
“Jack…”
“Tell me how it happened,” he pleaded, “don’t leave anything out.”
“Jack, I can’t,” Bullet said, starting to pull away from him.
Jack wouldn’t let her.
“Yes, you can. You just did it. You’ve told me the first half, and admitted how good it feels that someone knows. Now, all you have to do is keep going,” he said encouragingly.
“No, I don’t mean it like that,” Bullet explained, “I literally can’t tell you. Not without compromising other people.”
“What other people? There’s a good chance I don’t know them.”
“You do. They’re here,” she said, “they’re members of Colour Coded.”
Jack looked at her, confused, trying to figure out what she was trying to tell him.
Like an avalanche, it occurred to him.
“The other files?”
“Two out of the three original members of Prismatic are involved, yes. One in particular,” she admitted. “That’s why I’m panicking, Jack. It’s not just my life that’s in danger. It’s other people’s, and it’s all because of something I did.”
“Something he encouraged you to do. Something he made you feel like you had to do because there was no other way. He indoctrinated you, Bullet.”
“Yeah, and I let him do it!”
“Not willingly. He was saying all the right things at the right time. You were vulnerable, there’s nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is someone
taking advantage of it. We’re going to fix this.”
“How? We’ve used up every route there was to take. We don’t have any other options left, other than to wait.”
Jack paced the room, deep in thought, figuring out a plan.
“There might be another way,” he informed her.
Bullet watched him pace for a bit and then stop to meet her eye. He raised his eyebrows, flashing her a sheepish smile.
It was like a mental conversation was happening, a wavelength all of their own, as Bullet figured out what he was implying.
“No, Jack.”
“Why not?” Jack exclaimed. “It’s the perfect plan!”
“It’s a stupid plan; he’ll kill you.”
“No, he won’t,” said Jack proudly, “he needs me, remember? I have to get power into his bunker.”
“You’ve been shot in the arm. You didn’t get in touch with him when you were supposed to. What in God’s name would you tell him?”
“That you all held me here. Bound and gagged.”
Suddenly, Jack took his mobile phone out of his pocket, threw it hard to the tiled floor and stomped on it, twisting his foot like a dance.
“You took my phone off of me so that I couldn’t reach out for help. I managed to break free and as I was escaping, someone shot me.”
“You were seen by his guards, there’s a pretty good chance he’s informed Neon that you were helping Gecko to escape.”
“You really think those guards are still alive?” Jack asked, almost mockingly.
“You really think it’s wise to assume they’re not?” Bullet stabbed back.
“Yes.”
“Are you insane?”
“Quite possibly.”
A staring contest ensued.
Bullet was desperate to have Jack back down from his plan while he was trying to suppress the will to smile at her serious face.
Suddenly, Bullet stormed past him and out the door. Without any hesitation, Jack followed her curiously down the spiral staircase, passing by a couple of floors, and along a corridor.
He recognised it.
They were on their way to The Spectrum’s office.
The doors to his room towered high; higher than Jack remembered.
Bullet knocked and awaited an answer.
“Come in,” The Spectrum’s low tones echoed, and Bullet threw open the doors.