by Aratare, X.
What am I thinking? That I’ll meet a mystery lover in the water? So crazy.
He firmly looked away from the sea. Besides the fact that such a thought was crazy, finding any pleasure in the ocean felt like a betrayal of his parents.
They wouldn’t have been out there that day but for me. They wouldn’t have gone to that spot. They wouldn’t have died.
“Gabe? You still with me?” Corey glanced over at him.
“Yeah, yeah, still a little zoned. I don’t think I’ll be going swimming for fun just yet,” he said, yet even as his lips formed the word “swimming” his heart gave a fluttering leap as he imagined running into the water and diving into the waves and then … then someone’s arms embracing him, welcoming him home.
Someone amazing.
“Here’s our exit,” Corey said as he steered the van to the right and followed the sloping exit ramp towards Ocean Side.
“Turn left at the bottom of the ramp then keep going straight. The cottage is right on the ocean. You won’t be able to miss it,” Gabriel said.
“Affirmative.” Corey was practically bouncing in his seat as he took that final turn.
Gabriel knew that Corey loved his grandmother as much as Gabriel himself did. Sometimes he thought Grace loved Corey just a little more than she loved even him, which Gabriel completely understood. Corey was family in every sense of the word.
“You know, I wanted you to come with us that summer,” Gabriel said, his throat going tight as he made that confession.
Corey’s bright brown gaze skittered over to him. “What?”
“The year my parents died, I wanted you to come with us. You could have been with us on the boat that day if I’d had my way. At the time, I was really bummed you weren’t there. Now, of course, I’m so glad you weren’t,” Gabriel explained. His hands tightened into fists in his lap. He could have lost both his parents and Corey. He wouldn’t have survived that.
“Gabe.” Corey looked and sounded like a wounded puppy.
“It’s just, you’re finally here, you know? In Ocean Side. You and me. Just like I wanted back then. I hope this is a good time for you. I want it to be.” Gabriel shifted in his seat. “I don’t want this all to be about me remembering my parents and—and mourning them, you know?”
Corey squeezed his shoulder. “You can mourn them as much as you need to. If you want to talk about them, I’m ready to listen. It’s healthy.”
“I’m not going to spend our vacation being maudlin. It’s just—look, there’s the cottage!” Gabriel didn’t finish his thought, instead he just pointed through the windshield to a small blue and white cottage that sat out on a jut of land. It was isolated from the rest of the town by the road and the water. It was a beautiful spot, though Gabriel’s stomach seemed to drop into his feet at the sight.
Corey slowed the van down and pulled into the short gravel drive. The front door opened as soon as he turned off the engine. Gabriel’s grandmother stepped out onto the front porch. She waved happily. Her white hair was cut in a sleek bob that accentuated her beautiful face.
“Gabriel! Corey! Oh, I’m so glad you’re both here!” she cried out.
Both young men tumbled out of the van. Corey was closest to Grace, and he immediately swept the small woman up in a bear hug and spun her around. She squealed in pleasure like a young girl instead of the sixty-five year old librarian and town councilwoman she was.
“Corey! Put me down, you silly boy,” she laughed, not sounding like she wanted him to release her at all, but Corey complied. As soon as she was let go, she raced over to Gabriel and cupped his face in her hands. “Oh, Gabriel, how I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too, Grandma,” he responded softly.
She kissed him on the cheek gently then pulled back and gazed at him with such love that he found himself looking down uncomfortably.
“Well, let’s not stand around out here. I’ve got dinner cooking!” she said, sparing him.
“Oooh! What did you make?” Corey asked.
“Your favorites. Beef stew, homemade mashed potatoes, sweet corn on the cob and for dessert ...”
“Cherry pie? Please tell me you made your world-famous pie!” Corey rocked forwards and backwards in excitement.
“Yes, of course. Always for you.” She patted Corey’s shoulder.
“If you start giggling like a little girl right now, Corey, I promise to record you and post it all over the Internet. You’ll never live it down,” Gabriel said.
“For your grandmother’s pie, I’d post it myself,” Corey said sagely.
“Well, get on in then!” She shooed the boys towards the house.
“Wait, we’ve got to bring our stuff in,” Gabriel said. He almost laughed when he saw Corey’s crestfallen face. “How about you go inside, Corey, and I’ll grab a few things we’ll need for tonight?”
Corey immediately brightened, but then he said, “No, Gabe, you should go in. I know you’re, uh …” He paused. He then glanced at Grace and then back at Gabe meaningfully, before adding, “I know you’re not feeling too good after … your incredible rescue of those people last night!”
“What? Rescue?” His grandmother looked between the two young men, wanting an explanation.
“Oh, it was epic, Grandma G! Gabriel saved two people’s lives! He saved them from drowning!” Corey exclaimed, even though he looked slightly shamefaced as he then said to Gabriel, “I know you probably wanted to be the one to tell her, but I just couldn’t hold it in.”
“It’s fine, Corey. You’ll tell it better than I would anyways,” Gabriel said with an understanding smile.
“Gabriel went into the water?” his grandmother asked. One of her hands actually crept up to her throat as if she could feel the water rising around her.
Corey nodded. “He swam out to them!”
“That’s—that’s incredible, Gabriel!” Grace stared at him with a mixture of shock and pride on her face.
“But it sort of took it out of him,” Corey said. “He’s been pretty run down since then.”
“Corey!” Gabriel hissed. Why did his best friend have to say that?”
His grandmother immediately put one of her delicate hands against his forehead, feeling for a fever. He gently shook her off.
“You do look a little peaked. Do you want to go lie down?” she asked.
Gabriel shook his head and took a step back. “No, I’m good. Seriously. I just want to stretch my legs a bit before going in.”
“If you’re sure,” she said uncertainly.
Corey, too, looked unconvinced, but Gabriel said, “Go on. I’m fine. Really. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Corey put an arm around Grace’s shoulders and they both headed inside as he told her more about Gabriel’s amazing rescue. Gabriel let out a soft sigh as soon as the door closed. His shoulders slumped and he raked a hand through his hair. He was glad to have a moment alone. It was exhausting trying to act normal in front of his grandmother. He closed his eyes, and suddenly, the sound of the waves was all he could hear. He roused himself and went quickly to the back of the van. He would get the bags and be done with it. However, he found himself casting one last look back at the ocean.
The sea was a dark blue going towards black in the light of the dying day. The whitecaps were creamy like the foam on a cappuccino. He saw a single light shining at the top of a sailboat’s mast in the far distance. He started walking towards the water. He didn’t notice when the gravel turned to soft sand. He only stopped when the sand became hard and packed from being soaked by the waves. He could feel the pull again, that tug at the center of his chest towards that same spot.
That boat is right over where ours went down. Our boat is still there. In the darkness. Crushed by the pressure. Are my parents’ bodies down there, too? No, they would have floated. Been eaten by fish and—
“Gabriel?” His grandmother’s voice broke him out of his dark thoughts. He spun around. His grandmother was standing a few feet away fro
m him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but I was calling for some time. Dinner’s on the table.”
Gabriel blinked. Over her shoulder, he saw Corey getting their things out of the van. He glanced back out at the water. It was too dark to see anything anymore. He had been standing there far longer than he thought.
“Sorry, Grandma. I sort of lost track of time.”
She put a comforting hand on his arm. “Corey told me more about what happened last night. You saved those people, Gabriel. You leaped into that water and saved them,” she said. “What was it like getting back in the water after all these years?”
Gabriel again remembered the thrum. It and the pull seemed related somehow. For one moment, he was tempted to dip his foot into the water to see if it happened again.
If it is a signal then he’ll know I’m here. Wait, he? The man in my dream or someone else?
He shook himself again. “It was … good, I guess?”
“Are you all right, Gabriel?” she asked.
He shrugged, giving her his most bland look. “I’m good. Just a little tired after finals. But like I told Corey, a few days in the sun and I’ll be back to myself in no time.”
“Will you?” She put a hand on his arm. “I was worried about moving back here.”
“Grandma, I’m fine with it—”
“It wasn’t just you I was worried about. I was worried about myself, too.” She drew her thin white sweater closer around her. “I couldn’t even look at the sea for years after—after it happened. I was almost grateful when the doctor advised us to move away for your sake. So you see, it wasn’t only for you that we did that. I know now it was very unfair of me to act as if it was.”
Gabriel was quiet for a moment before saying, “I was having screaming nightmares. I was a mess. You were holding everything together. You had already raised your son. Suddenly, you had another one to raise, but unlike Dad, I was a basket case.”
She cupped his cheek. “Losing John and Kate was the worst moment of my life. But having you, in my house, with me every day, has been one of life’s greatest blessings.”
Gabriel swallowed hard. “I know that it was a burden to bring me up.”
“Burden? No, Gabriel, it’s been a joy!” she cried. “And I’m so proud of you. The only thing I wish …”
He looked up at her. She had caught her lower lip in her teeth, and her doubt about saying whatever was on her mind was as clear as day for him to read. Something clenched in his chest.
“What do you wish, Grandma?” he asked softly, even as he dug his fingernails into his palms.
“That you could meet someone special. John’s life was so very happy after he met Kate. Your mother made him … shine,” she said with a fond smile on her face.
He smiled, remembering how his parents had still been so in love after fifteen years of marriage that it was like no one else existed at times. They knew what each other was thinking without the other one ever having to say it. His father would suddenly break away from whatever he was doing to seek his mother out whenever she needed him, even though she hadn’t asked for help. But it was always exactly when she had needed him. For one moment, he thought of his dream from the night before. It was ridiculous to compare a dream to his parents’ everyday reality, but the caring words, the statement that the man would never leave him, was exactly like something his father and mother would say to one another. He felt his chest tighten.
“I used to be so embarrassed by them acting all lovey dovey. Why couldn’t they ignore one another like other kids’ parents did? I didn’t get it back then how special that was. How rare,” Gabriel murmured.
“I want you to have that love for yourself, Gabriel. I see how you keep yourself apart from others. It’s as if you’re observing life from a safe distance. I don’t want that isolation for you,” she said softly.
“I’m not alone, Grandma. I have you. I have Corey,” Gabriel told her, trying to make her understand that it was enough. He wasn’t going to find a love like his parents had had. Even if there was someone out there for him, they would have to get through his Fort Knox-like defenses, and who would want to spend their time doing that? No one in their right mind. He would just forever have his longing, his writing and, maybe, his occasional vivid dreams to release the pressure of being alone whenever it built up too much. That was enough.
“Corey is a dear. Speaking of which, he probably has gotten his fingers in the cherry pie already. We had best go in before he devours the whole thing,” his grandmother said. Then she got a mischievous look on her face. “Lucky for us, I baked two and hid the other one in the refrigerator behind the milk!”
Gabriel laughed. He linked his arm with hers and they walked back to the cottage.
5
HISTORY IS PRICELESS
After dinner, Gabriel helped Corey bring the rest of their stuff in from the van and then collapsed on his bed in his old room. Not even the sound of the waves, or Corey’s snoring in the room next door, could keep him up. Unlike the night before, he had no dreams, which was only slightly depressing. He slept like the dead until after ten o’clock and awoke to blue skies and sunshine pouring through his bedroom windows. He quickly showered and dressed before taking the stairs two at a time to the ground floor. He found Corey at the kitchen table with the remnants of breakfast before him and his grandmother at the sink.
For one moment, his mind flashed back to the last time he had breakfast in this kitchen: his parents looking at each other over their coffee cups, his grandmother smiling and shaking her head at the three of them, and the eternal lure of the sea. His old seat was vacant. As he looked at it, he felt a stirring in his chest. It was the old excitement.
Something is going to happen. Something amazing. Gabriel swallowed the thick bile that suddenly rose up in his throat. God, I hope not.
“Gabriel! You’re up!” his grandmother called brightly.
Gabriel’s gaze snapped up from his old chair to her. He tried to remember the good feeling he had had before coming into the kitchen and put it in a smile for her. He only half succeeded. “Not quite as bright and early as the two of you.”
Corey had evidently already polished off a plate of scrambled eggs. He was looking mournfully at his last piece of toast, clearly debating whether he wanted another piece after this one. His grandmother’s dishes were already clean and drying beside the sink. The smell of eggs, bacon and butter hung pleasantly in the air. Gabriel’s stomach rumbled.
His grandmother let out a laugh when she heard it. “What would you like to eat, Gabriel?”
“Oh, I can get myself something,” he assured her.
“No, let me.” She held up a hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “I’m not offering to feed you for totally altruistic purposes.” She lit a burner under a fresh pan. “I have plenty of work for you today. If you’re feeling up to it.”
His grandmother and Corey’s gazes met for a brief moment. They had clearly been talking about his poor health. Corey hadn’t completely bought the adrenaline explanation for why he had become so sick after swimming.
Gabriel did some jumping jacks to demonstrate how well he felt. He was slightly breathless afterwards, but he quickly hid it. “I feel fantastic, actually. A good night’s sleep did the trick.”
She looked him over critically, but finally nodded. “All right, but I want you to stop and rest if you start to feel ill again.”
“I promise.”
“I need you to sort through the basement. The entire history of the Braven clan is down there,” she said.
Gabriel felt a stirring of excitement at the thought of digging through the Braven family’s history. His grandmother’s love of the past had rubbed off on him. “I’m ready to begin.”
“You might not be so eager after you are covered in the dirt and grime of several decades. That’s minimally how long some of that stuff has been down there. So we need to fortify you,” she said. “Eggs and toast?”
“Sounds great.
” Gabriel avoided his old chair and sat instead in the one his mother had always occupied. He wished he could feel her presence through it, but it was just a piece of wood and held nothing of her spirit.
“You made your husband take the Braven name, didn’t you, Grandma G?” Corey asked, then gave a hoot when she put another hot piece of buttered toast on his plate.
“I did.” She nodded.
“That was very modern of you,” Corey said.
“The Bravens have been here for over three hundred years. I would have been the last otherwise. Besides, his surname was Smith. Nothing wrong with Smith, but it didn’t quite have the same ring to it,” she said.
“Grace Smith. Gabriel Smith. John Smith. Nah, definitely doesn’t have the same ring as Braven,” Corey agreed.
“How did you sleep, Corey?” Gabriel asked.
“Like a baby on Nyquil,” he laughed. “I got up at the same time as Grandma G a couple hours ago. We’ve been talking about the dig. Man, I think you’re going to need to write a sequel to Swimmers.”
“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked.
“Johnson has fully unearthed the temple and I’ve already been inside.” His grandmother set a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice down in front of him. “It’s magnificent.”
“Sounds amazing. But I thought they just started the excavation. Don’t archeologists dig down like one inch at a time and then sift the dirt so they don’t miss anything?” Gabriel asked as his forehead furrowed. From his grandmother’s description of the temple, he imagined it must be several stories tall.
“Johnson has ruffled some feathers with his aggressive techniques at the site. But how long do people think the developers are going to wait before bulldozing the whole thing?” She shook her head. “The developers are already in court seeking a ruling that they be allowed to get back to work building their condos. Miskatonic has a lot of pull, but it isn’t infinite. The more Johnson uncovers of the settlement, the more weight will be given to this being a unique historical site. And it is unique.”