by Nikki Carter
“Well, then you wouldn’t be Sunday Tolliver, pop star, right? So, I guess everything is as it should be.”
I inhale deeply and consider this. My destiny is definitely connected to Sam’s. He wouldn’t be the producer he is without me, and I couldn’t write the hits without him. DeShawn is right.
“So, just to make it official, I choose Sam. I love him, DeShawn. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. I’ll move out soon. I know that’s going to be the next request.”
I shake my head. “I’m not in a hurry for you to move. You can wait until the beginning of the school year if you want.”
“That would really help me get my money together. Thanks.”
I touch DeShawn’s arm lightly. He pulls away again. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yes, I will. Just don’t try to smooth it over. Don’t be sweet to me, because I couldn’t stand that. Just leave it the way it is, and go be with your producer.”
His voice trembles a bit at the end and it touches me deeply. Considering the heart has such strong feelings that reach out to the world, it is such a fragile organ. I want to do something or say something to make this all okay for DeShawn. But the one who breaks the heart can’t be the one to mend it.
22
Gia, Ricky, and I are at another sorority house off campus, namely the Kappa Betas. These girls are usually the laughingstock of the Spring Step Show. They didn’t even sign up to be in it this year. The sorority is made up of future engineers and scientists, so their grades are more important than stepping.
Their president, Kita, says, “Sunday, I mean we love your music, but we don’t step.”
“But you could! Gia and Ricky are going to help you!” I say.
“But why do you want us to do this?” Kita asks.
I tell them all about the prank that the Gamma Girls played on Piper. Jaws drop around the room.
“That was awful,” one of the Betas says. “How do you want us to help again? I’ll try to learn your step.”
The plan is to turn the worst step squad in the school into the winning step squad and take every ounce of shine away from Gamma Phi Gamma. In one week.
“I’m going to sing while you step!” I say. “We wrote a song just for you.”
“But what about the stepping part?” Kita asks.
Gia says, “So look, most of your step consists of synchronized running in double time.”
Kita looks really confused now. “We need to see that.”
Gia and Ricky get up and demonstrate the step. It really is easy, even for a non-dancer like me, but it will look really slick when all the girls do it together.
“We don’t have time to get anything to wear, though!” Kita says. “The step show is in a week.”
“I’m gonna have a seamstress do a custom order for you,” I explain. “She’ll be here this evening to measure everyone.”
“You’ve got this all planned out, don’t you?” Kita asks.
“Yes. They really hurt my friend, so I want them to see how it feels.”
Gia says, “Come on, Betas, let’s line up. We’re gonna work hard, and you guys will win the money!”
A pleasingly plump and short Beta smiles at Ricky. “Do you have a girlfriend?” she asks.
“I do,” Ricky replies.
“Watch it, lil’ girl. This is my boyfriend,” Gia says.
The little soror puts both hands up in surrender. “I’m so sorry. We don’t get too many cute boys around here.”
“Enough about boys!” Gia says. “Right now, Ricky is not cute to you. He is not even a boy! He is a choreographer that’s going to whip your non-stepping butts into shape.”
I sit back and watch Gia and Ricky work with these girls all day until the step really starts to come together. They’re even getting a little bit excited. I bet they never thought they had a chance to win before. Me singing is going to put them over the top.
Ironically, while I’m sitting on the couch at the Beta house, I get a text message from Sharday. Please tell Piper to call me. She won’t answer my calls.
Why would Piper want to call her or any of those other Gamma Phi Gamma chicks? I quickly delete the text without a second thought. My girl doesn’t have to worry about being a part of anything like that. She’s got us. We’re her sisters.
After hanging out all day with the Betas, I have a rehearsal at my house for our solidarity concert with Dreya and Bethany. Bethany is out for the show, and she will go right back to the rehab immediately following the show.
Bethany’s sponsor wasn’t happy about her doing the show. She thinks that the environment will tempt Bethany to use drugs, and since she’s newly detoxed that wouldn’t be a good thing. But Bethany is contractually obligated to do the show, so we all promise (except Dreya) to help keep Bethany sober for the evening.
“I thought we might do one of our songs from back in the day,” I say. “One of our Daddy’s Little Girls songs.”
“They were pretty whack,” Dreya says. “I can’t think of one that I’d want to do.”
I smile at Dreya as she absentmindedly strokes her stomach. It’s amazing to me that she’s pregnant, and that she seems to really be happy about the baby coming into the world.
She throws a couch pillow at me. “Ew. What are you looking at, loser?”
“I’m looking at the mommy-to-be,” I tease. “Do you talk to your baby?”
“Yes, to tell her to sit herself down somewhere. I think all that flipping around they caught her doing on the ultrasound is what has my stomach all messed up. She needs to chill.”
“Can you feel her move yet?” Bethany asks.
“No, not yet. She’s not big enough yet. But I will soon.”
“That is so beautiful,” I say. “The gift of life.”
“Stop being a lame! What song are we singing?” Dreya asks.
Instead of saying the song title, I start singing, “We are family/we got each other/no matter what/no one can come between us/we are family/we’re standing strong/no matter what/we’re sticking tough.”
As I sing the verse again, Bethany and Dreya hit all the harmony parts like we just practiced it yesterday. It sounds perfect. As soon as Evan hears it, he’s going to want us to record it.
“We sound good, but why that Goody Two-shoes song?” Dreya asks.
“Because the song is about solidarity. So we should be singing about sticking up for one another, you know? I think it’s a perfect choice.”
“Well, okay, then. Let’s get the entire song as perfect as that little hook we just sang,” Bethany says. “I can’t wait to be on stage with y’all again.”
“You okay?” Dreya asks.
Bethany’s eyes widen at Dreya’s concern. “Yeah, thanks to Sunday and my sponsor. I’m okay.”
“Good, ’cause even though you get on my nerves, I still got love for you,” Dreya says.
Bethany jumps up and hugs Dreya. “I love you too, girl!”
Dreya looks ready to pop Bethany upside the head, but instead she hugs her back. That’s Dreya’s version of love. Sometimes instead of hugging back, it bites back, but you always know it’s there.
23
The night of the step show has finally arrived and Club Pyramids is packed with students from all over Atlanta. Each Greek organization is dressed to the nines in their colors. Every time I see a flash of turquoise I cringe, because I definitely don’t want to run into Gamma Phi Gamma.
They’ve been blowing up my phone and Gia’s phone ever since the club incident with Piper. Mostly, they wanted Gia to come back and help them, but a few of them wanted to express an apology to Piper.
Speaking of Piper, we couldn’t get her to come out of the house to view the demise of the Gamma Girls. She’s convinced that they’ll figure out a way to turn it around and embarrass her yet again. She’s got post-traumatic stress syndrome when it comes to those Gammas.
The concert is immediately following the step show, but I’m more nervous about the st
ep than I am the concert. I’ve sung with Dreya and Bethany hundreds maybe thousands of times. It’s almost as natural as breathing.
The step show competition gets under way, and the girls are first. There are some groups that have very simple steps, and you can just tell they’re there to represent their organization, and not necessarily there to win. Then, you’ve got groups like the Gamma Phi Gammas who have practiced so hard, that you know exactly what they came to do.
Speaking of the Gamma Girls, their performance was okay. They seemed to have had some of the girls sit out and only the strongest are stepping. The smiles are bittersweet when they miss a couple of steps, but they got a round of applause anyway, if for nothing but the skin-tight sports bra and biker short outfits they have on. Some of those girls actually look obscene in that outfit, like a video vixen in a video.
The Betas drew the straw for the last performance, so they have the entire time to stand there and get nervous.
Gia reassures them. “You guys are better than them, plus you have a Grammy-winning artist singing up there with you. Take advantage of it.”
When it’s the Betas’ turn, they run onto the stage in their red and white like a tightly knit platoon squad. Their steps are so synchronized that, instead of separate girls, they look like one combined creature with multiple legs.
I get up on the stage in the corner and say, “Hey, everybody! We’re going to party it up for the last step. And while we party, we want everybody to know that hazing is wrong! Bullying is not okay. This one is for you, Piper.”
A huge round of applause comes from the audience. It’s applause I wish Piper could’ve heard. These people support her. They have no love for the mean girls who hurt my friend.
The beat that Sam prepared specifically for this event kicks in and the Betas start to step. Their moves are flawless as I wait for them to hit my part—the musical part.
I sing, “Watch us step to the left, then we hit the right/we can we can party, we can party all night/but first we get our grades up ’cause we always on our grind/ and we come lookin’ fly ’cause the boys are on our mind/ Step it, step it, step it, step it up/We don’t, we don’t, we don’t give it up.”
Now everyone is on their feet! This was totally unexpected! The Betas have the entire room rocking to their beat.
Then, I hit verse two, “We the, we the, flyest, flyest chicks in the South/we came to blow yo’ mind and to turn this party out/They keep talkin’ ’bout us, don’t know what they talkin’ ’bout/They like the Gammas, they got diarrhea of the mouth/ Step it, step it, step it, step it up/We don’t, we don’t, we don’t give it up.”
The best part of the step is the diarrhea of the mouth line. Each of the Betas pulled out paper puppets that look like a Gamma Girl, except with a really huge mouth. The crowd roars with laughter, and the Gamma Phi Gammas look mad as all get out, all except Sharday, who bursts into laughter with everybody else.
After we’re done, the fraternities get up and do their thing. The boys are definitely more serious with their steps. They dance hard and do tricks that look like they defy gravity.
Before they give the prizes to the winners, Sharday and the campus advisor of Gamma Phi Gamma take the stage. A hush falls over the room as the advisor takes the microphone.
She says, “As some of you know, there have been a few unfortunate hazing incidents that have taken place either on campus or off campus at events attended by students of the Atlanta University Center. The Gamma Phi Gamma organization does not condone these activities and would like to personally extend an apology to all of those involved. Furthermore, all Greek-affiliated students who participated in the humiliation and degradation of a fellow student will be stripped of their Greek affiliation, and not be allowed to join any other sorority or fraternity, either in an undergrad chapter or graduate chapter. Because of activities responsibly reported by members of Gamma Phi Gamma, the sorority is unfortunately disqualified from this year’s step show competition, but will be allowed to retain its charter after proper removal of the at-fault sorors. Thank you for your time and attention. Please carry on with the festivities.”
From my place on the side of the stage, I look for Peony. Her face is as white as a sheet and she seems very small from where I’m standing. She knows what it is. Her Greek days are over. She’ll have to finish out her last two years of college, just being a regular non-Greek.
The Betas win second place in the step show, finishing behind Delta Zeta. The Delta Zeta girls are primarily cheerleaders, and their step had complex acrobatics in it. They were supposed to win, and would’ve beat everyone anyway, including Gamma Phi Gamma.
After the step show, Sharday finally catches up with me backstage. She says, “Hey, Sunday.”
“What’s going on, Sharday? Why did you want to see me?” I ask.
Sharday says, “Well, I wanted to tell you that we’re kicking Peony out of the sorority.”
“I figured that much after your advisor’s speech. I actually feel kind of sorry for her. Isn’t Gamma Phi Gamma her life?”
“Yeah, but she’ll get over it. She’ll find something else to do where she can bully people around.”
I say, “I just hope Piper gets over it. Every time she sees turquoise I think she wants to vomit.”
“That’s too bad, because I was going to invite her to cross the burning sands with the other pledges and become a member of Gamma Phi Gamma.”
“What makes you think she wants that?” I ask.
“She does, more than anything. She was even willing to put up with Meagan’s white girl jokes that got really bad.”
“I’ll let her know you want to talk to her,” I say. “Maybe she will be interested in being a part of your sorority. I’m not sure.”
“She didn’t come tonight?” Sharday asks.
“No. Technically, she’s banned from the club because of what happened and she was drinking underage and all that. So, she’s at home.”
“Well, please let her know what happened.”
When I see Kevin coming toward me like he’s on a mission, I know that I must be running late for a sound check for the concert.
“Come on, Sunday, you guys are up in like ten minutes,” Kevin says.
“Oh! Somebody could’ve gotten me. I’m ready to practice.”
We do a few minutes of sound checking, before it’s time to get ready for the show. Backstage, we’ve got a stylist running around with outfits, a makeup artist waving a brush in the air, and Evan pacing back and forth like Dreya’s in labor instead of doing a concert.
“Let’s go!” Evan says. “Someone needs to get a size-four dress that fits my pregnant wife. Room in the stomach and snug everywhere else! Where’s the stylist?”
I ignore Evan’s pleas for a stylist and I get myself dressed to go out on the stage. I’m fully dressed and in makeup before Evan locates the stylist for Dreya’s outfit. Bethany does what I do, and flits from here to there looking for someone who’ll put some makeup on her face.
Out on stage, first I sing one of my songs, then Bethany sings one, and finally Dreya. We all take our time singing our favorite beats because we have no idea when we’ll be here again, all singing together.
When we get to our “family” song, there isn’t a dry eye in the house. Bethany sings her part with such raw emotion that I think the college students really felt that. Bethany’s voice is very mature, and it sounds like she’s been singing for a hundred years.
At the end of the set, we all, including Evan, come out on the stage. He takes the microphone from Dreya’s hand and says, “Hey, everybody, I hope you enjoyed the show. These three work together, sing together, and play together. They are sisters in every way but blood. This is what Reign Records stands for. Family and togetherness. Give it up for these ladies!”
A round of applause rings through the club. I hug Bethany and hold her tight, reminding myself to make sure she gets back to the rehab place after we leave her.
We take a bo
w and head off the stage when the shots ring out. I hear a bullet buzz so close to my face that I think I’m hit, only to realize that it was nothing. It is chaos all around and everyone drops to the floor. Bullets are flying all over, from both sides of the club! I see Big D waving a gun around, and Bryce’s bodyguards are knocking people to the ground.
I hear Dreya screaming, “Help! Help me!”
I rush over to her, and ask, “What is wrong? Did you get shot?”
“No.” She points at Evan’s crumpled-up body on the floor.
I run over to Evan’s bleeding body. He’s been shot in the neck and blood is spurting out all over the place. “Somebody call 9-1-1! Please!”
I tear off a piece of Evan’s shirt and try to apply pressure to his neck so he doesn’t bleed out completely.
He takes my hand and says, “Take care of Dreya and my baby.”
“No, I will not. You’re going to take care of them yourself because you’re going to be there to do it yourself.”
Someone yells, “The shooter is still in the building!”
People run in every different direction. Some out of the club, and some must feel safer in the interior of the club. We’re still stuck on stage right on display for everyone.
The paramedics give Evan medicine for pain, and put an oxygen mask across his face just as he drifts away into unconsciousness.
Sam runs from backstage and takes me by the arm. “Come on! Let me get you to safety.”
“What about Dreya?” I ask.
Sam says, “Okay, let’s get her too.”
So Sam ends up leading a group of three women, including Bethany, off stage.
Once we’re all safe from any shooter that could still be inside, Sam goes outside to investigate. Jonah and Bryce run around the club getting people out.
“Is Evan going to be okay?” Dreya asks. “I need for him to be okay for this baby.”
“He will be,” I say. “Why don’t you send up a prayer for him?”
I do send a prayer up for Dreya. And I also send it up for Evan too, and for all of us. Because, I don’t know how we’re going to hold it all together if Evan is murdered. This is a tragedy outside of the scope of our understanding.