by HJ Bellus
It hurts and is blissful all at the same moment. Jag roars, signaling me to his release. I clench around him, so close to my own. One pulse then two and I’m losing all control with the man I love more than my destiny. Only if it could be enough. Not even a fool would believe it because reality always catches up with former sins. I never knew it was so damn close. If I did, I’d love this man until my lips were raw.
They say hindsight is twenty-twenty. I wouldn’t believe it until tomorrow when all my yesterdays were torn away from me. Life is a cruel bitch. That’s the only lesson I’ve taken away from my days on this earth.
Chapter 23
Jag
The cheers when I open the door to Diablo’s Throne are deafening. I’ve never felt like a king in all my days until now. The morning after the fight of my life is more gratifying than beating the sin out of the Titan douche.
I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing my birth father and not allowing him to affect me. It was a victory on its own. The night after solidified everything. I’m just a simple man who found an amazing woman. I have my family and the gym. This should be a rest day, but Sunni had to work, and I was revved up to get back in the gym and train.
I have my sight set on two things—the title and putting a ring on Sunni’s finger. She has secrets and a past that I won’t allow to taunt me. I’ve learned to trust my gut over the years, and I’ll continue down that path.
After few back slaps and congrats, I head into the locker room and change into my workout clothes. The loyal locker that’s held my trust for years holds its steady door open for me. I whip into my workout clothes with nothing but peace in my soul.
The workout is grueling. You’d never know Boss was arrested and bailed out.
“Again!” He slams the weights in my arms.
I do ten more reps with no sign of giving up. It doesn’t please him, and he demands more. The same happens at the punching bags and in the ring. Boss doesn’t relent. I don’t take it as a putdown but an outpouring of love, and even though every single last muscle in my body screams to give up, I push on. The end goal is in sight, and that’s all I focus on as my body refuses to continue on. With each aching muscle and stumbling leg, I punch and fight, never giving up.
The bell above the door rings. Nobody should be walking into Diablo’s right now, making everyone turn. Police officers flip their badges, followed by men in suits. It gains everyone’s attention. The momentum of the gym is stalled. Boss is the first one to approach.
His arrest is on all our minds. It’s the furthest from our reality. I yank off my sweat-soaked shredded t-shirt and strip away the wraps on my fists. I stomp to Boss, ready to defend his honor.
“Need to speak to José.”
My blood freezes in my warm veins at the name spoken. Layla, Cruz, and Boss are at my side as I stand with my head raised high, knowing this has something to do with the scum known as my birth father.
“We are here to discuss the matter of Sasha Brown.” The detective adjusts his tie as the man next to him portrays a pompous motherfucker. He steps up to us and begins talking. It takes me several long beats to catch up since I led the pack to defend Boss’ honor.
“I’m Officer Jaco, and we have reports to support a Sasha Brown is in your town.”
I cut the prick off. “Don’t know any Sasha, asshole, so unless you have something else to say, get your ass out of this gym.”
I’m yanked back into Boss’ solid chest. He hisses in my ear. “Shut the fuck up, boy.”
My mouth snaps shut even though I want nothing more than to lay into the smug asshole. He’s a dick, and it’s printed all over his face. I could spot a dick like this a mile away. This guy is the loud, obnoxious asshole from elementary school who seeks out more attention than anyone else. My reaction doesn’t stop him. This asshole loves the sound of his voice.
“Sasha Brown is a registered sex offender, and we’ve had information given to us she’s been living here under a different name.” The bitch flashes a printed mug shot.
Sunni’s face smiles back at me. I take a step back, feeling the sucker punch to my gut. Layla, Boss, and Cruz do the same thing. Jaco steps forward and waves the paper in my face. The other man who claimed he’s a detective remains in his place, not taking further action. He’s not as insistent. Something is off. It doesn’t stop Jaco.
“Sasha is a registered sex offender. It has come to our attention she hasn’t reported this fact to local authorities and has been in the presence of underage children. Also, she has been paid under the table while living here. If you know of her whereabouts, you need to tell us since there’s a warrant out for her arrest.” He pauses for a beat. “It was Landon Chandler that identified her, and we understand you have your differences. However, we are here to protect you from a predator.”
I cross my arms over my chest, struggling to digest his bullshit. The paper has Sunni’s face plastered on it, but none of the facts match up.
Jaco continues, “Sasha Brown was prosecuted and served a sentence pertaining to the molestation of an underage child. You’re more than welcome to search the case. It hit national news. She served her time, and we tracked her after she was released since the case was so sensitive and hit close to home. Sasha disappeared off the radar. You can understand our concern since she’s a proven predator. I’ve seen the case and aftermath she left behind. No one is safe around her.”
Jaco keeps the legal-size paper in my face with Sunni’s face staring back at me. The life and laughter that lingers in her eyes aren’t there. Worry and hurt cover her features. Lines of stress frame her perfect lips. It’s the woman I love, and in the same beat of time, it’s a different woman I don’t recognize. Jaco continues, going on in detail about the horrendous crime against a thirteen-year-old innocent boy.
With each word, Layla begins to cry and recoil. Bella is on her mind and has been with Sunni. I listen, process, and refuse to believe a word. Jaco picks up on that fact, so he pushes on, providing intricate detail of Sasha or Sunni’s crime. It hits too close to home. Former memories rewind in my memory, the ones where Abraham let his friends abuse and use me. They didn’t care I was a little boy; those monsters took what they wanted, tearing my flesh apart.
I stare at the picture in Jaco’s hand. I see the woman I love, then those memories replay over and over. The pain strikes me in the gut. The helplessness invades, and all of a sudden, I’m that little boy all over again with the demons using me. Minutes ago, I was the king on top of the world, and now I’m the victim feeling every strike of agonizing pain. I believed in her. Gave her time to tell me her secrets only to be slapped in the face. I might as well have let Abraham win last night because Sunni just took me down, crushing me at the kneecaps. I’ll never be the same.
Chapter 24
Sunni
The morning at the diner sucked. It was slammed. All morning, I meant to text Jag. It never happened. I know we need to have the talk tonight. I’m confident he’ll never understand my past. Hell, I can Google his name and see all his past sins, and it’s nothing compared to mine. Once he knows my real name and Googles me, then it’s game over.
I had a handful of chances to slip out of work this morning. My palms would grow sweaty, and my heart rate picked up at the thought of facing my reality. I’d allow outside stressing factors of the diner to distract me. It was so much easier to serve another customer, put in an order, or pour a mug of coffee, and that’s what I grounded myself in instead of facing my reality. The same reality that was about to rip everything from under my feet.
Time’s up. The sand in the hourglass has poured its last grain. I relish every single memory with Jag as I stride down the sidewalk, and now it’s over. He deserves to hear the truth from me, and that’s what I’m going to do.
I grasp the chilled door handle with my sweaty palm and swing it open. I walk into a scene that’s not typical. There are no swinging or throttling sounds on the punching bags; it’s dead silent. All eyes turn o
n me. I freeze.
The truth of the presence of my past stares me in the face. Jaco whips around. Jag steps in front of him, striding toward me. There’s not a single emotion to be read on his face. His signature shit-eating grin has long vanished, leaving behind determination. Jag has never scared me until now.
Jaco cuts him off, pushing him to the side. A stranger who must be his partner strides up next to him.
“Sasha Brown, we have a warrant out for your arrest. You have the right to remain silent and everything…”
Jaco’s old and abused words dull into a cyclone of nonsense I’ve heard so many times on repeat. It’s not the fact he’s here for me that crushes the remaining pieces of my soul, but Jag’s defeated look on his face.
My wrists are ripped from my sides and whipped around my back. The familiar feel of cold metal clasps around my bones. I don’t fight. I refuse to, because every single time he wins. Fighting is worthless. A lost cause for the believers who refuse to quit believing. I knew it was coming, could’ve predicted it from the beginning of this story. It was Jag who pried and tugged out the hopeless romantic in me.
And it’s the same reason I never lift my head to look at him. It’s a cycle. I’m on wash, rinse, and repeat. I dared to hope things would be different because I felt loved, only to have it ripped away.
Jaco stops and turns back to the gym. “Thank you for your cooperation in putting this menace to society back in jail. Your community is now safe.”
He jerks on my hands, causing the metal of the cuffs to bite into my flesh. I don’t wince or react, not giving this sick fuck a reaction he’s craving. It doesn’t stop him from leaning forward just enough to hiss in my ear.
“Got you, Sasha. I said you can run, but I’d always find you.” His tongue darts out, licking the shell of my ear. “Seems another little boy has been found abused and broken, and you match the identity.”
The sunlight that just warmed my skin as I walked to the gym freezes me to the core. The unidentified car comes into view. Before I’m stuffed in the back seat, Landon steps in front of us, cool as ever.
“Glad it worked out, nephew. Crazy how life crosses paths. Justice has been served.”
“You’re right, uncle. I won’t ever be able to repay you.”
“Jag will never come back from this one. My brother, God rest his soul, would be proud of you, Jaco.”
I glance over at the other cop or detective. He’s older with salt and pepper hair; aviators cover his eyes with the only sign of his anger in the form of his ticking jaw. He doesn’t seem pleased at all as he scrolls on his iPhone.
Landon pats Jaco on his back and strides away. Their exchange sinks in. None of it makes sense. Jaco doesn’t have the last name Chandler, and he was adopted. He didn’t have an uncle named Landon. The shards of the puzzle fall together in hazy view.
Their identical sharp jawlines, hysterical laugh, and glinting eyes. I don’t ask questions. But I know those two are related somehow. I wrack my brain, processing the years we were married. Jaco’s adopted parents died in a house fire when he graduated from the force. He had no other immediate family members. The entire town in Iowa worshipped at his feet, expressing their sympathy.
The doors slam as the metal cuffs bite into my wrists. Jaco chuckles as he puts the car in drive.
“Who knew finding my birth father would lead me to my uncle helping to bring down that cunt?” He hitches a thumb over his shoulder.
“No shit,” the other man responds.
“Yeah, found out about six months ago there’s a shit long story about the gym we just walked into and my birth family.”
“Makes sense why we made it out here from Iowa. Glad there’s a good story behind it all.” The other man glances over to Jaco.
“Yeah, my birth father died three years ago in a fatal car crash. He left behind two brothers, Monty and Landon Chandler. Dumb bitch in the back ran right into their hands.” Jaco glances at me in the rearview mirror. “Two birds with one stone. Landon needs Jag out of the picture to make better odds for his fighter in Vegas, and Sasha here needs her ass behind bars for the rest of her days.”
They continue talking as if I wasn’t listening, not leaving out any details.
The unknown detective runs his hands through his coarse salt and pepper hair. “And you married that bitch not knowing the monster she was?”
Jaco flicks on the turn signal. “Yeah, fucking nuts, man. I walked in on her one day with a little boy stripped down and Sasha on her knees.”
I force it out. Guilt washes over me knowing Jag is believing all of this since everyone else did. There’s no point in arguing. My past caught up with me, and it was all over Jag’s face. He believed them.
Out of nowhere, Jaco erupts in manic laughter. “Dude, you should see the look on your face. Priceless. Naw, man, set the cunt up after I found out she was leaving me. Had the entire town eating out of the palm of my hand. They all felt sorry for the distraught husband when he found out how big of a monster he was married to. The meals didn’t stop for months, and the number of women willing to spread their legs to soothe my sorrow via their pussies was endless.”
“Don’t you ever worry about getting caught?” The man in the passenger seat stiffens.
“It’s all a façade I’ve perfected over the years. It’s a talent I mastered at a young age. I’ve got my shit on a tight lockdown. Don’t you worry about me.”
The car takes a swift turn into a well-lit parking lot. I recognize the building from when I encouraged Layla to bail out Boss only mere hours ago. Ironic. I’m yanked from the backseat without warning. Warm streams of blood run down my wrists. Jaco slams me against the harsh metal of the car.
He chuckles like the genuine maniac he is. People always warn you about the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Some believe it to be an old wives’ tale, and I did too, until I married the man tossing me around like a rag doll.
“Quit resisting,” Jaco seethes in my ear.
Not one muscle in my body has protested his harsh jerks. It hasn’t stopped him from yanking me around. I glance up at the other man who stands back with his cellphone in his hand. He’s immersed in whatever social media site he’s scrolling.
“Didn’t think you’d see me, now did you, wifey?” Jaco’s palm stings the tender skin on my cheek. “Bitch, I’ll follow you and whatever other scum crosses my path. Nothing will stop me. Can’t believe you had the nerve to rape another little boy and possibly a toddler, you monster.”
Jaco whirls me around and plants a palm between my shoulder blades. I sail forward with the asphalt in view. I turn my face in time so my cheek, jawline, and temple catch the brunt of the fall.
“Quit resisting an officer.” Jaco rips me up by a fistful of hair. “Told you to never think about leaving me, you cunt! And what did you do? File for divorce! Big mistake making me look like a damn fool in our hometown.”
I glance over to the other man, hoping to plead for help. He’s still obsessed with his phone. I barely catch it out of one eye since the other has nearly swollen shut.
“Gonna be on every front page and big news channels in the morning, Sasha. Smile real pretty for the camera in that mug shot.” Jaco slaps his hand over my crotch, cupping my core and pressing me back into his chest. “Should fuck you before I put you back where you belong. Cock is getting hard thinking about it. Thank hell I’ve been paying off the night guard. Going to pay you a little visit tonight. Miss that tight little ass.”
“Why?” The simple word escapes my lips, and I don’t stop. “Why me? You loved me at one point and then snapped. I’ve never done one damn thing to you or anyone.”
My head snaps back as fire blazes across the back of my skull. Jaco grips onto another chunk of my hair, ripping me in whatever direction he pleases.
“You crossed me. Worked too many hours in your salon and was packing to leave me. You knew fucking better. You saw firsthand how powerful I was and the game I was playing. I could pin anyone for any c
rime of my choice. You’re a loser, and that’s why I married you. Nobody cares about you, Sasha. You have no family who’d come to your rescue. You will forever be my pawn. The gift that keeps on giving.”
“I have a family,” I whisper.
“Excuse me, cunt?” I’m shoved to the ground again. The same side of my face crashes into the unforgiving surface. The old familiar sound of bones cracking crescendos in my skull. My tongue is trapped between my teeth, causing blood to pool in my mouth.
Jaco is a maniac determined to take me down. He’s winning and always will.
“Tomorrow your lover boy will be down here along with your new friends. It seems they’ve found some bruises on their daughter. I generously planted a seed of how it could’ve come about.”
“Fuck you!” Blood spits out between my lips.
“Yeah, Sasha, you’re about to be fucked. That sweet little girl of theirs will make the perfect poster child to pin you with a crime that will put you behind bars for life. Nobody will be on your side once I frame you up nice and good for raping a toddler, you fucking monster.”
This time, I keep my mouth shut. I’m numb. He’s won. The worst part is knowing he’s charming enough to convince the nation I hurt Bella. I’m processed and stripped of my rights and tossed in a stale, cold cell. I find comfort in the bars and pray Jaco stays away when the sun goes to sleep.
The side of my face throbs with a steady rhythm of pain. I close my eyes and pray upon a deaf God for Jag to come save me. I know it won’t happen. The hurt and pain reflected back in his once caring and loving eyes told me everything I needed to know. He fell for Jaco’s bullshit. The tears never come. They’re useless when your future days are filled with nothing but darkness.