by Andrew Cope
ANDREW COPE
Illustrated by James de la Rue
PUFFIN
Contents
1. Hunter
2. Hunted
3. The Appliance of Science
4. Fishy Business
5. Brainwashed!
6. Eagle-eyed
7. Hide-and-seek
8. Star Turn
9. Zombie Army
10. Oscar
11. Zombie Test
12. Fatal Attraction
13. Prime Minister’s Questions
14. Angry Bird
15. The Signal
16. Queen Kong
17. Tea with the PM
PUFFIN BOOKS
This is how it works, right? You get a dog and train it to do stuff. Fetching a ball is a good start. Or sitting. Or maybe shaking a paw. The general rule is that the mutt does as it’s told.
Err, wrong!
My dog doesn’t do any of that! When I (Andrew Cope, the author of this book!) lob a ball, she just looks at me with her ‘whatever’ face and I end up trudging through the grass to fetch it myself. And she’s trained me to make her dinner when she wants it. She’s even trained me to scoop her poop in the park! So it’s me who does what they’re told! Something inside me tells me it’s not how it should be. I fight the feeling and then I look into her doggy eyes and I’m brainwashed!
If you want Lara or her puppy to visit your school, please email her at [email protected]. She’ll probably have to bring Andrew Cope along too, because she feels a bit sorry for him. He doesn’t get out much, you see. I know you’ll make a big fuss of Lara. Please, please make a big fuss of Andrew too.
www.spydog451.co.uk
Books by Andrew Cope
Spy Dog
Spy Dog Captured!
Spy Dog Unleashed!
Spy Dog Superbrain
Spy Dog Rocket Rider
Spy Dog Secret Santa
Spy Dog Teacher’s Pet
Spy Dog Rollercoaster!
Spy Dog Brainwashed
Spy Pups Treasure Quest
Spy Pups Prison Break
Spy Pups Circus Act
Spy Pups Danger Island
Spy Pups Survival Camp
Spy Dog Joke Book
1. Hunter
The rabbit sat up on its hind legs and scanned the field. It was just before sunrise, the best time for rabbits to be out, when cats and foxes had finished hunting for the night, and humans and dogs were still asleep. That morning, the field seemed as peaceful as ever but the rabbit was nervous; it could sense danger.
It peered at the row of houses on the edge of the field and then turned to gaze at the new building that stood alone on the far side, dark against the lightening sky.
Nothing stirred.
With a final flick of its ears, the rabbit settled down to nibble some juicy dandelion leaves.
Whoosh!
A shadow fell from the sky and slammed into the rabbit; its squeal was cut off as sharp claws gripped its neck. When the shadow rose up again, the rabbit hung limp from its talons.
The sun rose higher, lighting up the flat roof of the new building that stood on the far side of the field. A woman stepped to the edge of the roof and stretched out her arm. She wore a leather gauntlet. The winged shadow flew to the woman, dropped the dead rabbit at her feet and landed on her wrist. It was a huge golden eagle.
‘Well done, my pretty,’ said the woman, holding out her other hand with a strip of raw meat gripped in her long, red-painted fingernails.
The bird gulped down the meat and then lifted its head to stare at the woman with fierce, orange eyes. The woman stared back with eyes just as fierce and bright. Her tawny hair flicked out from her head like two wings, and her nose was hooked like a beak.
‘We are both hunters, you and I,’ rasped the woman. ‘But I hunt for human prey.’ She turned away from the bird and glared at the town spread out in front of her. Curtains were being opened in bedroom windows as people started their day. ‘Soon I, Harriet Hawk, will control them all, and they will make me the richest woman in the world!’
Harriet Hawk let out a harsh, cawing laugh and the bird on her arm spread its massive wings and screeched in reply.
2. Hunted
Lara watched Spud and Star trudge towards her. Star’s sticky-up ear was drooping and Spud’s tail was tucked between his legs. It looked as though their mission had not gone well. She frowned at her pups over the top of her shades. ‘Give me a progress report, Spy Pups.’
‘We lost our target, Ma,’ Star whimpered. ‘He crawled through a hole in the hedge –’
‘– and escaped back into enemy territory,’ finished Spud glumly.
‘How do you know that?’ Lara asked. ‘Did you watch him go all the way through to the other side?’
‘No,’ woofed Star. ‘We only saw him crawl into the hedge.’ She looked at her brother. ‘Ma’s right. He could still be hiding in there …’
‘Probably waiting to ambush us,’ growled Spud. His tail began to wag. ‘But an ambush only works when you’re not expecting it – which means we’re still in the game, sis! Let’s go!’ he yapped, galloping to one end of the hedge.
Star’s sticky-up ear sprang to attention again. ‘Pincer movement!’ she woofed, racing to the other end.
Lara smiled to herself as she watched her pups commando-crawl their way along the bottom of the hedge, with their noses to the ground and their bottoms in the air. For weeks they had been trying to sneak up on Marmalade, next door’s new kitten, but they had never quite managed to catch him.
They won’t catch him today either, Lara thought, looking at the top of the hedge. Neither of her pups had noticed that the kitten had climbed up through the middle of the hedge and was now sitting on the top, calmly cleaning his fur while they searched for him below.
Marmalade, one – Spud and Star, nil! I’ll leave them to it, Lara decided, settling back into her deckchair. Chasing Marmalade will keep them busy until Professor Cortex is ready to show them the new gadgets he’s brought along.
She looked fondly at her old friend, who was sitting in the deckchair next to her in the Cooks’ back garden. She had known Professor Cortex since she was a pup, when he had chosen her to be the world’s first ever Spy Dog. ‘Lara’ had stood for Licensed Assault and Rescue Animal, and her code name had been GM451. A few years – and a few bullet holes – later she had retired from active duty and come to live with the Cooks, her adopted family. Now Professor Cortex was training her pups, Spud and Star. They had already qualified as Spy Dogs and were waiting for Professor Cortex to decide when they would be ready for their first proper mission.
And they’re becoming very impatient, especially since New York! Lara sighed as she remembered that rather too exciting family trip, where Spud and Star had saved her and the whole Cook family from certain death and trapped two baddies for the FBI. I suppose home life must seem very boring to them, after that, thought Lara, looking around the quiet garden where everyone was gathered.
‘Wonderful lunch, Mrs C,’ said Professor Cortex.
‘Thank you,’ said Mrs Cook. ‘The fresh vegetables were from the school allotment. The children grew them.’
Ben, Sophie and Ollie all beamed with pride. They had spent long hours at the allotment after school, digging, planting, watering and fertilizing, but it
had been worth it.
‘Well done, children,’ said Professor Cortex. ‘Super veg! And Mrs C, your apple pie rules the world!’
Mrs Cook blushed. ‘Oh, that old pie? That’s nothing special.’
‘Not true, dear,’ said Mr Cook, from the goldfish pond, where he and Ben were using nets to scoop slimy green pondweed into a bucket. ‘That’s a very special pie. I can never resist a second slice. And it shows,’ he added, patting his belly.
Same here, Lara thought, looking down at her stomach. Even her thick black and white fur could not hide a growing pooch paunch. I may have stopped dodging bullets, but being retired has its own dangers – killer apple pies!
‘Did you two like it?’ asked ten-year-old Sophie, looking up from her book to smile at Agents T and K, Professor Cortex’s personal bodyguards. They were sitting next to her on the picnic blanket, balancing cups of tea on their knees and trying not to crease their smart black suits. Agent K had a slim, black leather case handcuffed to his left wrist. The case held the professor’s prototype gadgets.
‘Affirmative,’ said Agent T.
Agent K gave a satisfied belch. ‘Copy that.’
‘Piepiepie-in-the-sky,’ panted Ollie, bouncing higher and higher on the trampoline.
‘How does he do that after a big meal without throwing up?’ asked Ben, watching his little brother.
‘He’s six years old,’ said Mr Cook, as though that explained everything.
Just then, Ollie bounced high enough to see the top of the hedge. ‘Kittiekittiekittie!’ he shouted, catching sight of Marmalade.
Spud and Star both stopped dead and looked at one another.
‘I think we’ve been Marmalized,’ woofed Spud.
Together, the pups stepped away from the hedge and looked upwards.
‘At last!’ barked Lara. ‘He’s been sitting up there for ages, waiting for you to notice him.’
‘You could’ve told us, Ma,’ spluttered Spud.
‘Where’s the fun in that?’ asked Lara. ‘Besides, you’ve just learnt a good lesson: keep your eyes peeled! A Spy Dog must always be observant.’
‘Watch out!’ barked Star. ‘He’s attacking!’
Spud looked up just as Marmalade knocked an old nest from the top of the hedge. It fell on to his head.
‘Nice hat!’ yapped Star.
An old shuttlecock fell next, landing neatly over Star’s sticky-up ear.
‘Yours is cuter,’ woofed Spud.
‘Mhee-hee-hee-how!’ laughed Marmalade, sticking his head over the edge again.
‘That puss is making us look silly! Let’s shake him down!’ growled Star.
The pups both grabbed a branch of the hedge and shook it as hard as they could. Marmalade yowled as he wobbled on his perch. He scrambled away from them along the top of the hedge. Spud and Star followed, spitting out leaves. As soon as Marmalade stopped, they shook the hedge again.
‘Careful,’ warned Lara.
‘He’s fine,’ yapped Star, through a mouthful of leaves. But this time the kitten did more than wobble; he began to slip off the top of the hedge.
Lara grabbed the cushion from her deckchair and threw it to Spud and Star. ‘Run, pups!’ she barked as Marmalade fell. ‘Break his fall!’
Spud and Star dived under the tumbling kitten, holding the cushion between them. The kitten landed feet first on the cushion with a look of feline superiority on his face.
‘Phew!’ gasped Spud. ‘Marmalade was nearly toast!’
The kitten calmly stepped off the cushion and wandered to the gate at the bottom of the garden. He gave Spud and Star a cheeky glance over his shoulder before flicking his tail at them, slipping under the gate and heading off into the field behind the houses.
‘Cool kittie!’ said Ollie admiringly, gazing after Marmalade. ‘Cats always land on their feet,’ he observed. ‘And toast always lands butter side down. So,’ thought Ollie aloud, ‘what would happen if you strapped buttered toast to a cat’s back and threw it out of a window?’
Professor Cortex’s eyes widened. He reached for his note pad and started scribbling, only to be cut short by Mrs Cook.
‘Silly idea, Ollie,’ she frowned.
The professor sighed in half agreement and put his pencil down. ‘Yes,’ he muttered, ‘quite silly. It would depend entirely on the dexterity of the feline, divided by the length of the fall. Plus you’d have to consider the thickness of the toast …’
‘Thanks, Prof,’ said Ben, rolling his eyes. ‘You don’t have to go into scientific detail about absolutely everything,’ he explained.
The professor nodded once more and pushed his spectacles back up to the bridge of his nose. ‘I appreciate that you might not share my passion for science, young Benjamin. But an enquiring mind is a very healthy thing. It enables me to come up with gadgets. And,’ he said, looking over the top of his specs, ‘I think you might find those very interesting indeed!’
The children swarmed round the professor. ‘Have you brought some new inventions?’ chirped Sophie.
‘Stuff we can use at school?’ beamed Ollie, tugging at the professor’s jumper. ‘Like invisibility ray guns and dinner-lady exterminators.’
Professor Cortex raised an eyebrow. ‘Not quite, Master Oliver.’ He nodded at Agent K, who unclipped the briefcase from his wrist and laid it on the table. The professor fiddled with the combination and the case clicked open. ‘But my enquiring scientific mind has managed to come up with these!’
The puppies and children all gasped.
3. The Appliance of Science
‘I’m not one to boast, but I think I may have come up with my best inventions so far,’ said Professor Cortex proudly as they all gathered round him. ‘And I’ve got one for each of the Spy Pups.’
Star and Spud couldn’t help doing a whole body wag. Lara tried to hide her disappointment but the scientist noticed a slight sag of her shoulders.
‘Plus,’ he beamed, ‘even retired Spy Dogs need to have the latest technology.’ Three tails wagged as the scientist reached into the case. ‘Check this out, my little canine agents. A gadget you wear round your neck. I call it a “tie”.’
Lara raised her eyebrows at her old boss. I hate to break it to you, Prof, but a tie isn’t exactly a new invention.
‘I’m not wearing a silly tie,’ huffed Star, smoothing her fur with a paw. ‘A girl likes to look good while she’s spying!’
‘I can see you’re not impressed, but trust me,’ said the professor, pulling a slim, curved device from his case.
Spud wagged enthusiastically, lifted his chin and allowed Professor Cortex to clip the device to his collar. It fitted like a second collar rather than hanging down like a tie.
‘Good,’ said the professor. ‘Now all you need to do is press your chin down to activate the tie.’
Spud did as he was told. There was a hiss as two telescopic stalks shot out of the device and rose up on each side of his nose. When the stalks reached his eyes, a dark lens opened out from the top of each and clamped into place.
‘Whoa! What’s happening?! Oh …’ Spud stopped moving. His mouth dropped open.
Lara leapt to her feet. ‘Spud! Talk to me!’
‘I’m fine, Ma, but everyone’s turned rainbow-coloured!’
Star was wishing she’d shown more interest. ‘T.I.E. stands for Thermal-imaging Eyepiece,’ explained Professor Cortex. Agent Spud is now seeing us in a very different way.’
‘Are they like night-vision goggles?’ asked Sophie.
‘Good guess, Sophie,’ said Professor Cortex. ‘But dogs already have pretty good night vision – nearly as good as cats.
’
Watch it, Prof! Spud growled. He was still smarting from Ollie’s ‘cool kittie’ comment.
‘These thermal-imaging eyepieces are even better than night-vision goggles,’ explained Professor Cortex. ‘Spud can now see in complete darkness, but he can also see hidden people or animals in daylight. Have a look at the garden hedge, Agent Spud.’
‘Wow!’ gasped the puppy as he gazed at the hedge. ‘It’s full of little orange specks, flitting about. Sparrows! There are loads of them, hiding inside the hedge. We could’ve done with this gadget when we were looking for Marmalade.’
‘Thermal means heat, right?’ said Ben. ‘So Spud can “see” us now, because we’re warm-blooded and hotter than our surroundings?’
‘That’s exactly right, Ben. The hotter the temperature, the hotter the colour. Red is warmest, blue is coldest.’
‘The Prof’s brain must be overheating,’ yapped Spud. ‘His bald bonce is red hot! And Agents K and T have been sitting on the grass too long. They both have blue bums. They look like a pair of baboons!’
Lara gave Professor Cortex an admiring nod. You’ve surpassed yourself, Prof. I can’t wait to see what retired Spy Dogs get!
‘If you liked that, Lara,’ beamed Professor Cortex. ‘Wait till you see the next gadget!’
Spud pressed his chin against his collar again and the TIE folded away. Star stepped eagerly forward as Professor Cortex reached into his case and brought out a tiny cylinder. ‘The world’s smallest torch,’ he announced, glancing over the top of his spectacles. ‘Small enough to be clipped on to a dog collar. But that’s not why it’s special.’
Tell us about the science, Prof, wagged Star.
‘It’s the opposite of a normal torch,’ explained the professor, struggling to find the tiny switch. ‘A sort of “un-torch”, I suppose. Normal torches light up the dark, right?’