‘They’re going ok,’ I said. ‘Mum and Rupert are handling the food and the decorations so I don’t have much to do. Sam and I are going to put together some good music for the night. Other than that, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope that people actually turn up. Because I haven’t been here very long I’m half afraid that only five people will come.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Ben said reassuringly. ‘We’re all going to bring friends with us, and you’ve asked lots of people in school, right?’
‘Practically every one that I’ve ever said hello to,’ I said wryly.
‘Right, well I’m sure that most of them will come,’ he continued. ‘It’s not every day that they’re invited to a party in a Chesterfield mansion, after all.’
I brightened up a bit at that. He had a point. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a flop after all.
‘Do any of you guys play anything?’ Sam asked. ‘We could get a bit of a jam session going.’
‘I play the guitar,’ Ben said. ‘If you didn’t bring your guitar with you I could lend you one. I collect them.’
‘Oh, man that’s cool. What types do you have?’ Sam asked excitedly. He was in his element.
‘Oh God he’s off! We won’t get another word of sense out him for the rest of the evening,’ I said, rolling my eyes. ‘He’s found someone to play with.’
‘You’re not a guitar fanatic then?’ Jane asked.
‘I love music, don’t get me wrong,’ I said. ‘I just don’t spend hours of my life debating the merits of Gibsons versus Fenders.’
‘Do you play?’ Mei asked me.
I shook my head. ‘Sam tried to teach me, but I didn’t have the attention span.’
‘Hey, Mei,’ Ben interrupted us. ‘Your brother Jian plays the drums, doesn’t he?’
‘I’d use the word ‘play’ quite loosely, but yeah,’ said Mei.
‘He should come on Friday, we could use a drummer. We can’t just have guitars!’
‘Do you think he’d come?’ I asked Mei.
‘Are you kidding?’ she laughed. ‘My brother loves being the centre of attention. He’ll be there in a heartbeat.’
‘Cool,’ Sam said, leaning back in his chair. ‘This whole thing is starting to come together nicely.’
I had to admit that part of me was getting quite excited at the thought of the party. Sam was quite good on the guitar, and with a mixture of other instruments that would be cool. Plus, if the guys stayed true to their promise to bring friends along, then I wouldn’t be left like a little girl lost at my own party.
‘What are you going to wear?’ Cat asked.
‘I’m not getting anything new. I have a purple dress that I’ve only worn a couple of times. I’ll wear that. It goes ok with my hair,’ I told her.
‘Is that the dress that you wore to Lindsay’s sixteenth?’ Sam asked.
‘Yep, that’s the one.’
‘You look beautiful in that dress,’ he said smiling at me.
We had a lovely evening, bantering across the table and laughing. I relaxed and didn’t think about anything sinister or bad. I almost felt like I’d clicked back into being a normal teenager for a while. Until Cat opened her mouth.
‘At least your face healed up before your party,’ she said as she stole one of Ben’s fries. ‘A purple cheek would not have been a good look.’
‘What happened to your face?’ Sam asked.
‘Oh, did she not tell you?’ Cat asked. ‘The week before midterm her, and Mei were coming out of the cinema and they saw a Pagan gang stab this guy with a flick-knife. They were running away and one of them knocked into Scarlett. She fell and hurt her face. It was really nasty’ She looked at me curiously. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell him about it!’
‘I wasn’t that badly hurt,’ I countered.
‘Yeah right, the whole side of your face puffed up,’ Cat scoffed.
‘Was the man who was stabbed badly injured?’ Sam asked.
‘He died,’ I said in a small voice, staring at the table top. ‘They knew exactly where to stab. He died a few hours after he got to the hospital.’
Mei and I exchanged a look. We both knew how traumatic that night had been.
‘You should have told me you were hurt,’ Sam argued. ‘I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me that!’
‘I wasn’t hurt, not like that man. I didn’t want you to fuss over me, because nothing happened. I’m still here, that man isn’t. Getting upset about some bruising just seems unnecessary,’ I muttered.
‘You could have been killed though,’ Sam said. ‘I mean, he could have stabbed you.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It was a revenge thing. They weren’t interested in me.’
‘Yeah but you are a Rationalist,’ said Will. ‘And Rationalists are always in danger from Pagans.’
‘Are Pagans really that dangerous?’ Sam asked.
Cat nodded her head. ‘They talk about harmless things, like fairies and good luck spells, but that isn’t what they’re really about. Most of them want to take power away from the Rationalists and turn us out on the streets. And they use violence to get what they want.’
‘Is that why they’re not allowed into Rationalist areas at night?’ asked Sam.
‘That’s exactly why,’ said Cat. ‘Of course, some do still manage to get in. But at least it keeps us a little bit safer.’
After we finished, Sam and I walked home to Chesterfield hand in hand. We took our time. The sky was cloudless and the light of the silver moon shone on the trees.
‘This is such a beautiful country,’ I said looking around as we walked.
‘Beautiful but dangerous,’ said Sam.
‘Oh come on,’ I said. ‘I know I got knocked over, but that could happen anywhere. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Besides, you heard what Ben said. Most people here are perfectly safe if they keep their head down and don’t get involved with the Pagan groups.’
‘That’s what worries me,’ he said gruffly.
‘What?’ I scrunched up my forehead in confusion. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
He looked at me seriously.
‘You’re not exactly keeping your head down, are you? You’re moving between both sides.’
‘I have friends on both sides,’ I said. ‘I wasn’t born here. I’m called a Rationalist because that’s what Rupert is, but I’m not really anything. I don’t see why I have to choose a side.’
‘Well, do any of your friends hang around with Pagans?’
I didn’t answer.
‘Well, do they?’ he asked again.
I turned on him angrily.
‘What are you trying to say? We went over to see Aradia today, and you said that you liked her. I like her. Other than Mei, she’s my best friend here. And you think that I shouldn’t hang around with her because other people don’t have Pagan friends?’
‘It’s not because other people don’t have Pagan friends,’ he said patiently. ‘It’s because hanging around with Pagans is dangerous.’
‘What?’ I asked incredulously. ‘Dangerous? Dangerous how? I thought you didn’t believe that they had any magic powers.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Well then how can they possibly be dangerous?’ I asked.
‘If they weren’t dangerous, why would the government spend so much time and effort keeping them separate?’ he said, his voice rising in anger.
I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew that Sam was only trying to protect me, but there was no way I was going to give up my friendship with Aradia and Gethan. It was much too important to me.
‘Cat thinks that they’re very dangerous,’ Sam continued.
‘Cat doesn’t think for herself,’ I argued. ‘She takes everything her father says as the gospel truth.’
‘How do you know it isn’t?’ Sam countered. He let out a sigh. ‘In fact I think the whole place is dangerous. I think you should come home to Ireland.’
‘What?’ I said incred
ulously. ‘And leave Mum here?’
‘Yeah. Remember when your Mum first told you that she was moving, and you said that you didn’t want to go? Lindsay said that you could stay with her. You could come home to Ireland. It’s a win-win situation, you’d be safer than you are here and you’d be nearer to me. It’s the perfect solution,’ his gaze was earnest and serious. He was really worried about me.
‘That’s just not going to happen,’ I said firmly. ‘I like it here, and I want to stay. Of course I’ll miss you, but we can visit each other. There’s no way I’m leaving.’ I was surprised to find that I meant it. I might have only come to Ravensborough to please Mum, but I’d come to really like the place. I didn’t want to leave.
His jaw tightened in annoyance. ‘Then I’m going to tell your mother that you’re hanging around with Pagans, and that you have been ever since you arrived here.’
I gaped at him, shocked. ‘Are you threatening me?’ I asked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
‘If I can’t bring you home and keep you safe there, then I have to do what I can to make sure you’re safe here. It’s my job to look out for you. And if that means telling your Mum that you’re being incredibly reckless, so be it.’
I couldn’t believe that he was being so unreasonable! It was none of his business who I chose to see. Even if he thought what I was doing was dangerous, it was my decision to make. I opened my mouth to tell him exactly what I thought of his ultimatum, but something in his expression held me back. He was serious about this. If he told Mum and Rupert that I was hanging around in the Pagan quarter, they would freak. And that would be the end of me seeing Aradia and Gethan. I needed to be very careful how I dealt with this.
With extreme difficulty I bit back the retort that was on my lips. Instead I just sighed and hedged.
‘This is a big decision Sam,’ I said in as level a voice as I could manage. ‘I need some to think about what I’m going to do.’
He gave me a little nod and picked up my hand. I walked back towards the house feeling like a traitor.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The next day in school I tried to push all thoughts of Sam’s ultimatum from my mind. I wasn’t very successful. Whatever hope I had of putting my problems to the back of my mind in other classes, it was impossible in maths.
I was never very switched on in that class at the best of times, but I must have looked more troubled than usual because Mei kept shooting me worried glances. She slipped a piece of paper across the desk to me with a message scrawled on it.
What’s wrong Scarlett?
I just shook my head at her. She wrote another message.
Come on, I know something’s up. You’ve been acting strange all day.
‘Not here,’ I muttered to her when Mr. Schaffer turned his back. ‘I can’t talk now, it’s too dangerous.’
Mei raised her eyebrows in alarm, but said nothing.
When school finished, Mei caught up with me.
‘Where can we talk?’ she asked me in an undertone.
‘I don’t know. It has to be somewhere away from Will, Ben and Cat though. I don’t want to tell them this.’
‘We’ll go to the hockey team locker room,’ said Mei. ‘There’s no practice today so it should be completely deserted.’
It was deserted, apart from a raven sitting on the window-sill and looking in at us. Black birds were supposed to bring bad luck, weren’t they? And the sheer amount of black birds in this country was unnerving.
Mei threw her bag down on the cracked linoleum.
‘Well?’ she asked. ‘What’s bothering you? I thought it might be something fairly straightforward earlier, but I’m guessing it’s not if we’re hiding down here .’
I looked out the window, not sure how to begin explaining. Could I trust Mei? I desperately wanted to tell someone about what was really going on in my life. Keeping so many secrets was exhausting. Sam threatening to tell my Mum about my Pagan friends had made me start to panic.
‘Well, come on?’ she urged me. ‘What is it that has you in such a state?’
I looked at the raven. Its eyes seemed to have sought me out, and he was staring at me as strongly as I was staring at him. There was something both sinister and familiar melded together within its expression. It was disconcerting.
‘Scarlett?’ Mei said again. ‘You’re starting to really worry me now. What is it?’
With difficulty I tore my attention away from the bird and back to her. I sank down onto one of the benches, leaning my head against the cool metal lockers that lined the walls.
‘I need to tell someone,’ I told her slowly. ‘I need to tell someone what’s going on. But I need you to promise that you won’t tell anybody else.’
‘Scarlett, you don’t need to ask me that,’ she said sitting down beside me. ‘Whatever your secret is, it’s safe with me. I won’t tell a soul.’
‘Do you remember I told you about Rupert’s niece? The girl with the colour changing eyes.’
‘The occultist,’ Mei clarified. ‘Yes, I remember.’
‘When Will said that he’d seen me in a record store with a couple of Pagans, he wasn’t mistaken,’ I told her. ‘I really was there. I’ve been seeing them regularly and hanging out with them, they were even on the dig that I went on during the midterm.’
‘Oh my God, Scarlett,’ Mei said, her face a mask of shock. ‘That’s a really dangerous thing to be doing. If you’re caught, Rationalists will treat you like you’re a Pagan. You’ll be ostracised. Why are you doing it? For the thrill?’
‘No, because I like them,’ I said, trying to explain to her how I felt. ‘They’re good people, just like you and Ben. They can’t help being a Pagan any more than you can help being a Rationalist. And it was all working out fine until – well – until things got a bit more complicated.’
‘They got more complicated? Is that even possible?!’
I told her about the dark elf mark on the inside of Gethan’s arm, the explanation that he had given. Once I started talking, everything spilled out of me in a torrent. I told her everything, about the locket, my attraction to Gethan, even my dislike for Liv. I told her about Sam’s ultimatum, and my fear that there was something out there that was planning to hurt me.
‘This is a lot to take in,’ she said looking at me. She looked a bit shocked. ‘You’ve been living quite the double life.’
‘I know, I would have told you but I was afraid...’
‘I know. You were afraid that I’d freak out, tell everyone and that you would ruin our friendship.’
‘You’re not freaking out though,’ I said in surprise.
‘No, I’m not am I? Sam is,’ she said drily.
‘He’s trying to protect me,’ I explained. ‘He thinks that I could be in real danger and he wants to keep me safe.’
‘I’m worried about you too, but at least I’m not threatening you,’ Mei pointed out.
‘You don’t think he’s just worried about my safety?’ I asked.
‘I think his feelings are genuine enough, but I don’t think that justifies it, no. Nobody should put up with that kind of controlling behaviour from their boyfriend. And the funny thing is, I never thought that you would be one of the ones who would put up with it. I guess I thought you were stronger than that.’
There were few things that Mei could have said that could have hurt me more. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. And I knew that she hadn’t said it just to upset me. She genuinely thought that. Which, oddly enough, made it hurt all the more. I stood up and walked towards the window. The bird was still there. Behind it there looked to be hundreds of them stretched across the breadth of the sports fields. What was even stranger was that they were silent, not making a single sound. It was eerie.
‘He’s just trying to protect me,’ I said again. There must have been an edge to my voice because she changed the subject, and spoke in a softer voice.
‘What are you going to do?’ she asked.
/> ‘I don’t know, Mei. I just don’t know.’
Later on, when Sam I returned home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Mei had said. Sam was worried about me, but did that justify him telling me what to do?
I rang Aradia and apologised for cancelling our meet up. I explained what was going on, feeling a little bit embarrassed explaining how Sam refused to meet up with her again, especially considering how welcoming both her and Lavendell had been towards him the day before.
‘It’s ok’, Aradia said quietly. ‘I’m used to it. At least you haven’t turned against me.’
If only she knew. I hadn’t told her about Sam’s ultimatum, and I wasn’t planning on it.
Sam and I spent the rest of the evening going through the last minute details for the party the following night. We made up lists of everyone who I had invited, and I had to admit that, if most of the people I’d invited actually came, it wouldn’t be a bad party after all. I wished that I could invite Aradia and Gethan, but it just wouldn’t work.
We went to the grocery store and picked up some drinks and food for the party. I was actually having a good time. I put Mei’s warnings about his controlling behaviour to the back of my mind, as I tried to relax and enjoy the time that we had before Sam flew back to Ireland. Sam was being his usual charming self, and it was easy to remember why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place. I knew that he had my best interests at heart. No matter what Mei thought.
When we got back to the house there was yet more party planning. Sam and I sat in the living room with my laptop, scrolling through all the songs in my collection. We decided on a mix of different song styles. My taste in music was quite alternative and so was Sam’s. We decided that we should play the music that I liked to listen to, but also some mainstream songs in case my guest’s musical tastes were a little tamer. My guard was completely down when all of a sudden Sam reached across and picked up my locket from where it had worked free of my top.
‘That’s unusual’, he said eyeing it closely. ‘Where did you get it?’
I froze for a second. After the conversation that Sam and I had had the night before, I was reluctant to tell him that I was wearing a Pagan locket. I still didn’t know how I was going to handle the situation. I decided on the easiest explanation, which was also the closest to the truth.
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