by T. S. Joyce
Her heart was pounding out of her chest right now. Could he hear it? No one had ever said something so meaningful to her before. No compliment had ever really touched her…until now.
Luna turned and straddled his lap. The walls of the tub were stone hard against the outsides of her legs, but she didn’t feel that so much right now.
Tuff cupped the side of her neck, and God, the way he looked at her. She’d always prayed for a man to look at her like her dad looked at her mom that day her brother was born.
And now that story belonged to her.
She cupped his face, leaned in, and kissed him gently. The pad of his thumb stroked her cheek. She leaned in closer and pressed her breasts against his bare chest. Gah, the feel of him. The warmth and strength that emanated from him eased every doubt that had lingered in her heart. She’d never been so comfortable with another person in her entire existence.
His arms felt like home.
She rolled her hips against him and he sighed against her lips. His arms tightened around her, pulling her in closer. It still wasn’t enough.
The warm water sloshed around them and spilled from the tub as they moved together, but they didn’t care. Nothing else existed but the bond they were building between them.
Tuff pushed his tongue past her lips and she melted into the taste of him. Easing up, she pressed her entrance against the head of his swollen cock. She could feel the growl rattle from his chest and fill her up. She smiled against his kiss and then she pressed down harder. His cock slid into her another inch and the growl turned into a groan. She could tell. She could feel it. She could feel everything.
Every inch of skin she possessed was so sensitive to his touch. He dragged his hands down her neck to her breasts, and he massaged her there. Luna gasped out his name and threw her head back. His lips met the taut bud of her nipple and she couldn’t take it anymore. She rolled her hips harder and pushed down farther on his shaft.
And that was the last of her control.
From there, Tuff took over. He clamped his teeth gently over her breast and ran his fingers down her waist to her hips, gripped her, and pulled her down hard on him. He slid completely into her, burying himself inside her body. He stayed deep as her pulled her hips, pushed them, pulled them.
Harder. Harder. Faster.
She lowered her face to his and pressed her lips to his, consumed by all the friction he was causing between them.
Her legs were shaking from how good he felt buried this deep in her.
Harder. Harder. Faster.
She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him close. She cried out as her body caved. It just buckled and gave in to his powerful thrusts. Tuff stayed deep. So deep. His dick pulsed inside of her and the growl in his throat filled the whole room. It vibrated against her skin, right into her soul.
That was hers. That wolf was hers. Tuff was hers.
And now?
She eased back and rested her forehead against his.
That look in his eyes.
That look…
Now, she was his, too.
Chapter Nine
The halter irritated her skin. It had rubbed her raw. How long had she worn it? How long had she been the animal? Where was Mom?
Luna locked her legs against the forward motion and Dr. Lankaster yelled at her. She wasn’t behaving lately. He got angrier and angrier when he came to her stall to grab her.
She was scared. She wished she could talk in this body. Wished she could ask him why he was doing this. Why had she been a calf so long? Was she stuck like this forever? She didn’t feel good.
He tugged the rope attached to her halter and she walked past a window with a woman in it. She had red hair and cradled her belly. Maybe it hurt her. Everything in here hurt. Luna had learned that.
That woman…that lady…that red-haired woman…she was an angel.
She always, always waved to Luna when she passed by.
Now was no different. Luna locked her legs again and watched the woman through the window. The room was white and there were bars behind the window. She was crying, but when she saw Luna, she forced a smile. It trembled, but it counted. She lifted two fingers and waved.
Luna caught a glimpse of herself in the window reflection. She was a white calf with a black nose, and both of her ears drooped. Her horns were just coming in. Mom had said that was good. Mom had said her horns looked even and pretty.
“Let’s go,” Dr. Lankaster barked out. He used to be nicer.
She wished she could wave back to the lady, but all she had were hooves. All she ever had were hooves.
He led her past all the holding rooms, and she could smell the storage pens outside the sliding barn doors at the end of the hallway. She’d been held there for three days in a pen all by herself before she’d been given her own room.
She wished she wasn’t always scared.
Being scared made her tired.
At the end of the hall, right before the sliding doors, Dr. Lankaster took a left.
No. No, no, no. She knew that room. That room hurt. They did mean things in that room.
She bleated out her loudest moo, but Dr. Lankaster yanked on the rope and the halter dug into her bleeding skin.
Bulls bellowed from holding pens she couldn’t see as she was dragged across the white tiles. The air was deafening with their answering calls. She mooed again, but Dr. Lankaster wouldn’t slow down.
He dragged her right through those awful swinging doors…
“Luna?”
She could hear the woman’s voice echoing in her head.
“Luna?”
Luna squeezed her eyes closed. Her head hurt so bad. When she eased them open to wave at the woman, she wasn’t in that awful room anymore. She was in the dark, staring at a line of trees in front of her.
With a gasp, she looked at her hand. She was reaching toward the moon in the night sky, her fingers outstretched.
Where am I?
She turned, confused, and there stood Tuff.
He was crouched on his porch, his head cocked, his eyes glowing nearly white.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
She read his lips in panic. How did she get out here? The dream…it had felt so real.
The same fear that had taken her as a calf was pulsing through her body. She crouched down and buried her face in her hands. She repeated her mantra—the one she always did after a dream of the lab. “I am away from there. I am safe. I am okay. I am Luna. I am Luna. I am Luna. I’m not helpless anymore.”
A force of nature picked her off the ground, picked her up and walked with her. He hugged all her shattering pieces together.
She couldn’t understand what he was saying. He was speaking but she couldn’t hear. She couldn’t hear. Dr. Lankaster’s voice was the last thing she remembered. And the woman’s wave. That red-haired woman took her in. That woman turned into ‘mom’.
That stupid calf.
That stupid calf with its two ears and two perfect little nub horns. Now she had to look at her goddamn lopsided face every time she looked in the mirror and try to remember the dreams and what happened because her stupid brain had blocked out memories of the lab.
She didn’t know what she was saying. She was crying and holding onto Tuff so tight. Just squeezing him hard like it would keep her whole, but it wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she chanted.
He set her down in the snow and held her so tight. “Shhhhh.” She could feel his shush against her chest. Could feel the sound from his lips against her chilled cheek.
Sobs clawed their way up the back of her throat. She was broken. Couldn’t he see she was broken?
He was asking something. Tuff had leaned back and was cupping her face and asking her something. She could barely see him through the tears. “W-what?”
“You were sleep walking. I followed you. Luna, you see something different than what is here when you are sleeping. How often does this ha
ppen?”
His eyes were so worried. So worried. She didn’t want to worry him! This was just her life. This was normal.
“How often?” he asked again, his hands firm on her face so she couldn’t escape and look down. Look away from him. Look anywhere that he couldn’t see her. Really see her.
“Every night.”
She dashed her hands across her damp cheeks and then repeated it, because it felt so damn good to say it out loud to someone else. “Every single night.”
“Have you gone back?” he asked her.
She shook her head because she’d read his lips wrong and didn’t understand. “What?”
“Have you gone back to the lab since you were a kid?”
“No. No, no, no I don’t ever want to go back. I don’t want to see it.”
His frost-blue eyes held anguish as he searched her face. He parted his lips like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled her in close. Straddling his lap in the snow, she was rocked into relief by the man she’d grown to love.
And that’s what love was. It was showing someone the worst part of you and asking them to accept it. And if they still hugged you? If they still stuck around? Even after seeing the ugly side?
Well, then everything was going to be okay somehow. She had to believe that.
Chapter Ten
Luna hugged Duke’s neck and closed her eyes as he rested his chin on her back. It was hard to leave him, sure, but it was even harder to leave Tuff.
He’d been so quiet this morning.
Duke was fine. He was with a trio of colts that he apparently got along great with. They’d been trotting around the corral all morning, ears up, tails flowing behind them, chests out like they knew they were handsome. This was good for him. Tuff would take good care of him and get him trained for her to ride.
Going back to real life after these last couple of days with Tuff seemed impossible somehow.
Duke lifted his head and blew out a steaming snort in the cold morning air. Luna cupped his face and then twisted around to see Tuff perched on the fence watching her. It startled her the first time he’d done that, but now? It was just part of Tuff. His animal was a watcher.
“I made coffee and biscuits before you go,” he murmured.
“We had a party of nine book a snow ride,” she said apologetically. “It’s an evening ride so we’ll cook them dinner on a campfire afterward.” She shrugged. “I’m good at the private evening rides. The trail boss likes when I ride in the back and watch the riders.”
“You’re reliable. Like a safety net.”
She nodded. “It’s good pay, and I haven’t worked in a few days, and I guess—”
“I don’t want you to go, but I understand. Work is work. When bucking season is on, I have to go. I have to. You have to, too.”
She nodded and kicked at the snow with her boot. “I wish I could stay.”
“It doesn’t surprise me that you’re the safety net,” he said, forming the words carefully for her to read on his lips.
She signed with her hands, “You’re very special to me, Tuff. I wish you would ask me to stay forever.”
He cocked his head the other way then jumped off the top of the fence and landed without impact in the snow. “What did you just say?”
She inhaled the crisp air and looked around the beautiful snow-covered ranch. “Oh, just that you have a gorgeous home.”
“You’re only an hour away,” he murmured. “And besides. I’ve got your horse. You’re going to have to see me again at some point.”
“Yeah.” Why did her insides feel so hollow right now, like a cavern? “You’ll do so good with my boy.” She patted Duke’s neck and made her way toward the gate. She didn’t really want him to see her tear up like a wuss right now. An hour away might as well be a thousand miles. That’s what it felt like.
She crunched through the melting snow and pulled open the door to her High Boy, then climbed in. If she was lucky, the truck wouldn’t start.
It started right away. Great.
Luna rolled her window down and leaned her elbow out of it. “I think you’re pretty swell, cowboy.”
Tuff grinned. “I’ll see you before you know it.”
Not soon enough. He didn’t need to know how badly she wanted to stay at his home though, so she gave him a little wave and put her truck in reverse. “Thank you for letting me crash here.”
Tuff shoved his hands in his pockets. He was only wearing a black sweatshirt and a pair of jeans in the cold morning breeze. His breath steamed out in front of him. “You can crash here any time you want. Door’s always open.”
I’m going to miss you. I don’t want to go. Driving away will hurt me.
So many things she wished she could say, but it would only make this harder.
He had her number and could text whenever he wanted to. She had to get back home and get ready for work. She had a long day ahead of finding the trail in the melting snow and clearing it of branches before she helped saddle and prepare nine horses for the ride.
The last two days had been a dream, but the thing about dreams is they didn’t last forever.
Every dream had an end.
Up until this moment, she’d been grateful that dreams had conclusions. That had been her saving grace every night she’d had those nightmares. But as she watched him standing there in the snow in her rearview mirror as she drove away, for the first time ever…she wished this dream didn’t have to end.
Chapter Eleven
Luna tightened the cinch on Meg again. Her favorite mare always held her breath while she was saddling her and she had to tighten it up later or slide right off her ribs, saddle and all.
Stephanie, her boss, peeked her head around the corner of the barn. “They’re here.” There was a strange smile on her lips as she formed those words.
“Why are you smiling like that?”
Stephanie shrugged. “You’ll see.”
Luna huffed a laugh and shook her head. Okay. Swinging her leg over the saddle, she mounted Meg and reprimanded her as she gave a little bunny hop and kicked back. She was such a brat sometimes, but geez, Luna adored the heck out of her. The red-maned mare was hard to get working, but once she was? Meg was awesome.
She guided her around the side of the barn and pulled her to an abrupt stop when she saw who was leaning against the fence near the saddled horses staring back at her.
Tuff was wearing a dark brown Stetson, his brown Carhart jacket with the wool lining, and wranglers that hugged his powerful legs just right. That handsome cowboy wasn’t the only thing that had startled her to a stop. Filing out of a trio of trucks in the gravel parking area was Quickdraw Slow Burn, Dead of Winter, First Time Train Wreck, Two Shots Down, and all of their mates.
Stunned, she pressed her heels on Meg’s side and closed the space between her and Tuff. She couldn’t help the grin on her face if she tried. They were the party of nine?
“You look fuckin’ good up in that saddle,” he said, making the words each crisp and clear for her to read. He was such a natural at remembering she couldn’t hear him.
She dismounted and tied Meg off near the horse at the end of the fence, then turned and jumped in his arms. He caught her like he’d expected it.
“What are you doing, crazy boy?” she asked, settling on her feet and cupping his cheeks.
Tuff looked behind him where his herd was gathering. “I called my parents after you told me you’d met with them. When you fell asleep, I went outside and talked with them. I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t tell me you’d come to see them.”
“Did you figure it out?”
Tuff kicked gently at a fence post with the toe of his boot. “Well apparently my mom has a sense for what’s good for me. Or so she says. She had a feeling it would affect me more if you just showed up without any warning.” He twitched his head toward the herd. “We figured we could use some quality time with you. They want to get to know you better. They thought
of you over the years and wondered how you turned out.” Tuff pulled something out of his back pocket. It was a folded photograph.
Curious, Luna opened it up, and she gasped at what she saw. It was a picture of Quickdraw Slow Burn carrying a little white calf against his chest down a dirty alleyway of the lab. He was saying something to the calf, and in the picture, his eyes were rimmed with tears. The calf was missing an ear and a little nub horn on one side.
“That’s me.” She swallowed hard and looked at Tuff, and then at Quickdraw, who had come to a stop with the herd a few yards away. “That’s me,” she repeated. She stared down at the picture again. “I was pretty cute,” she joked around the lump in her throat.
When she looked up at them, they were chuckling, and their smiles unfurled something that had been tight in her chest. She waved to them and pressed the photograph to her chest as she tried to keep the burning sensation out of her eyes. “Hi, Quickdraw.”
Quickdraw tipped his white cowboy hat. “Luna, you were thought about over the years. We sure were happy you came by to see us the other day.” He tilted his head toward his son. “You be sure to keep this one in line, okay?”
She thought she read that right. His silver-streaked dark beard was very thick and made it harder to read his lips. “Keep him in line?”
“Please, keep that hellion in line!” Annabelle, Tuff’s momma, said. Her grin was contagious.
“I’ll do my best, but that boy is wild.”
“Oh,” Dead said, stepping into her line of sight. “You can just fuck the wild out of a man. I learned that.” He pointed to Raven. “She did that to me.”
Raven shoved him, and she was pretty sure Two Shots Down told Dead, “You don’t have to yell. She reads lips, you fart-dick.”
Fart-dick. Luna belted out laughing. If that’s really what he’d said, that was awesome.
The next half an hour flew by as she and Stephanie got everyone paired with a good horse that fit them and tightened everything up.