by W. J. May
Fodder nodded automatically, but it didn’t register. Instead, he whipped out his phone. “I think I’ll give her a call. See if she’s in the area.”
“No, that’s really all right. If I could just get some…” she trailed off as her shoes clattered to the floor, turning to Luke instead. “Uh, honey? You know I’m in the air, right?”
Julian and Angel said not a word as they came together in the center of the floor. They simply embraced. Staring so deep into each other’s eyes, Rae could swear they could read minds.
Okay…we obviously missed a step…
The only person who hadn’t rushed forward was Gabriel.
He was in the kitchen, a little farther back. But he looked no less anxious. The second the four of them had stumbled inside, he slowly lowered his mug of coffee and took a step forward.
Green eyes locked onto blue as he and Rae shared a long look.
“Are you all right?” he said softly. His voice was intentionally lost amongst the clamor of the crowd, but they both knew that Rae could hear him.
“I’m fine,” she whispered, peering out over her mother’s shoulder as Beth’s tears tangled in her raven hair. “I’m fine.”
“That’s not what they told us.” Beth clutched her impossibly tighter, thinking her daughter had been speaking to her. “They told us that you were last seen being dragged into a room. That the door closed and no one else could get to you. That there was gunfire…” She broke off with a shudder, unable to say the rest. Around the room, her silent terror was reflected in the faces of everyone else who had been left behind. Staring at their phones. Bracing themselves for the worst. Powerless to do anything except wait.
The gang shared a fleeting look as they suddenly understood.
“I’m sorry,” Rae murmured, slipping into a strength tatù to gently ease away. “We were taken straight to a debriefing, but someone should have called you. We didn’t know you hadn’t heard anything at all, or else I would have called myself.”
The words were heartfelt, but they had little effect on the other people in the room. It was as if merely seeing that the four of them were alive was no longer enough. They had to feel it. They had to prove it. Anything to make the nightmare of the last few hours go away.
“You’re bleeding,” Tristan murmured, pulling back to examine Devon’s neck. In a blur of speed he tilted his son’s head, only to discover the injection site. A strange stillness came over him, and his face darkened with a look of scarcely controlled rage. “What happened to you?”
Devon stared back helplessly, completely at a loss as to what to do.
And he wasn’t the only one.
On the other side of the room, Molly was being lovingly accosted. Luke had yet to release her from his arms, but the commander had managed to force them both down into a chair. While his son merely gripped onto the tiny girl like his life depended on it, Fodder carefully slid a hand in between to take her pulse, moving so casually it was like he hoped they wouldn’t notice.
Luke didn’t. Molly most certainly did.
“Guys, I’m…” She craned her neck upwards, choking slightly on a lock of Luke’s golden brown hair before cartoonishly spitting it from her mouth. “I told you, I’m—”
“Let me see that.”
Angel and Julian had finally broken their silent embrace, and she was perched on a stool to get a better look at the gash running along the side of his head. He was clearly in no mood to be coddled, but she just as clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer. “It doesn’t look terribly deep…” she murmured under her breath.
“I told you,” Julian inserted quietly.
“…but I’m still going to clean it out. In the meantime, Gabriel can fix your wrist.”
Julian stiffened in dismay as she vanished into the kitchen, only to be replaced immediately by her brother. Most people would have taken the swap. But, ironically enough, given the personality of the brother in question, Julian didn’t have much more leeway than he did with Angel. “It’s fine,” he muttered half-heartedly, cradling the arm in question against his chest. “I don’t need any help.”
Gabriel nodded briskly. “Do you want me to tell her that? Or would you prefer to do it yourself?”
There was a beat of silence.
Then Julian reluctantly extended his arm.
Rae looked away before she could see the snap that followed. Before she could hear the muffled cry. It was a running joke with the gang that there was rarely a day when at least one of them wasn’t covered in somebody else’s blood. And somebody else’s were the good days. Most of the time, they were covered in their own.
It was a testament to how long they’d been living under those bizarre conditions that she hadn’t even noticed what a bedraggled bunch they were until they got home. Until they were contrasted sharply against the others who’d been waiting in the living room.
It doesn’t help that we’re in black tie, she thought sullenly as her mother began going over every inch of skin with the unyielding efficiency of a battlefield medic. Blood always looks worse in black tie.
“Dad, please. Enough.”
Rae glanced over, her arms lifted obediently out to her sides, to see Devon still trying to escape the concerned grasp of his father.
By now, the dean had somehow removed Devon’s jacket and was examining a cut on his shoulder with a paternal frown. “What happened here?” He completely ignored his son’s requests and focused on the wound, expertly prodding around the edges to judge the depth.
Devon flinched painfully and bit down on his lip. “I got grazed by a bullet,” he admitted under his breath, still trying to tug himself free. “It’s not a big deal, all right? Nothing actually—”
Tristan held him steady, forcing Devon to look him in the eyes. “You got grazed by a bullet as someone fired a gun at you. But it’s not a big deal. Right.”
Devon held his gaze for only a second before looking away with a flush. The mere concept of his father expressing any sort of parental concern for him was still completely foreign to him. He didn’t know how to handle it on the best of days, let alone while suffering from mild blood loss.
His eyes flew desperately around the room before finding his fiancée’s. He held them there for a moment, a silent cry for help. But Rae was in the exact same boat herself.
“And what about this?” Beth muttered, sweeping her daughter’s hair back to look at a severe discoloration snaking up the back of her neck. “Honey, this looks like the imprint of a boot—”
Rae sighed, trying her best to keep it together. “I’m sure that was there before.”
Beth’s eyes narrowed as the poorly-timed joke died in the air between them. “Rae Kerrigan, up until ten minutes ago I was under the impression you were dead.” Her voice was flat and expressionless, yet carried a haunting weight at the same time. “Given that information, I’m sure you’ll find it in your impatient heart to allow your mother the time she needs to see you safe and alive.”
Rae gulped and nodded, dropping her eyes to the floor in silent surrender.
All around the room, her friends were doing the same thing.
They stood there quietly. Letting themselves be fussed over, and coddled, and prodded until the collective heartbeat of the room returned to normal. Once it had, they remained were they were as the process repeated itself. Several more times.
Finally, when the day’s overwhelming fatigue was threatening to drop them where they stood, Molly pulled out the pregnancy card.
“I think I should probably get to bed,” she said cautiously, gazing around with wide eyes as she lowered a deliberate hand to her belly. “We’ve all had a really long day…”
It was kind of her to use the plural, including the others in their plan. Their heads snapped up and they looked around as well, almost afraid to hope as the others silently conceded the point.
“Of course,” Fodder said quickly, taking a step back as Luke swept Molly off her feet. “We’ll pick back up
in the morning. You can see the doctor then.”
Only Rae, Devon, and Tristan could hear her mumble, “Can’t wait” as she was carried off to bed.
When the dean realized how tired they all were, he bowed his head apologetically and turned to his son. “I’m sorry,” he said softly as Julian and Angel breezed past on their way upstairs. “I didn’t mean to overstep, I just…” His voice tightened and he made a visible effort to keep steady. “I’ve just never been so afraid in my entire life.”
It was this moment of quiet honesty that broke through to Devon.
His lips parted in surprise as a very peculiar expression flickered across his face. For a second, he merely stared. Then he stepped forward and gave his father a tight hug.
Would you look at that? Miracles do happen.
Now it was Tristan’s turn to be surprised. His face went white with it before warming with a radiant smile as his arms slowly came down to complete the embrace. “I love you, Devon,” he murmured into his son’s hair. Softer than a whisper. More powerful than if he’d shouted it. “You know that, right?”
Devon nodded silently, gripping harder onto his father’s coat. When he finally stepped back, he looked almost as shaken as his father.
“Can we find a minute to talk in the morning?” he asked quietly. “Before you head back?” A little tremor ran through his hands, and he nervously smoothed them flat. “I wanted…I wanted to tell you something.”
Rae’s eyes widened as the dean gave his son a reassuring smile. Rae made a mental note to start calling him Tristan. Not just Dean Wardell.
The dean—Tristan nodded again. “Of course. Anything you like.”
With that the men parted, having both reached their emotional limit for the day. Devon flashed Rae a fleeting grin as he headed up the stairs, cocking his head towards the bedroom. She nodded once, and returned her attention to Beth.
They were the only two people left standing. And while Rae was hyper-aware of it, staring at her mother with a tender smile, Beth was still in her own little world.
“Well, that should do it…” she murmured, looking her daughter up and down. “I mean, it’s not to the level of quality that I’d like, but…”
For the last twenty minutes she’d cleaned, and sterilized, and braced, and bandaged to her heart’s content. Reaching out her hand automatically as her daughter patiently conjured her enough medical supplies to service an entire platoon. No cut was too small to escape her attention. There wasn’t a single bruise that didn’t demand her immediate focus and care.
By the time she was finished, Rae looked like some kind of incomplete mummy. One that people had begun wrapping, but had given up on halfway through.
“Mom,” she began slowly, holding out her arms with a hidden smile, “I’m going to go to bed now, all right? So that you can get back to the asylum with the rest of the crazy people.”
Half an hour ago, that joke would have gotten her an extra splash of rubbing alcohol. Now, Beth lifted her eyes with a tired smile.
“I’m sorry, honey.” She gave her daughter one last hug, careful to avoid any gauze. “But every mother turns out to be a little crazy. You’ll figure that out when you have a child yourself.”
Rae’s heart skipped a beat, as her stomach dropped down to the floor.
There had been about five minutes. Five minutes where she forgot it was happening. Forgot that her entire world had turned upside-down leaving her spinning in the middle. “Yeah, I…I guess I will.”
Beth stroked back her hair, and quickly kissed her on the forehead before going to get her coat. While the commander and Devon’s father were staying the night, Beth had apparently left Simon under the supervision of some incredibly jumpy Privy Council guards. She had to get back.
“I’ll see you in a few days,” she promised. “In the meantime, please try to fight all those awful instincts of yours and get some rest. You’re going to need it.”
Rae paled, instinctively clutching a hand to her stomach. “…I am?”
Beth was too distracted to notice. She simply pulled out her car keys and pushed open the door, glancing back over her shoulder with a chilling smile. “We’ve got a bad guy to kill.”
Rae dropped her hand immediately. Almost relieved to be talking about something normal. “Oh, right. Yeah.” She lifted her hand in a farewell wave. “On that note, sweet dreams.”
Beth laughed quietly as she vanished up the darkening street. “Sweet dreams.”
* * *
Rae stood alone in the living room for a long time. Hand on her stomach. Eyes on the road. Every minute or so she would slip back into Alicia’s tatù, spreading her fingers tentatively over her abdomen, stunned senseless every time she was greeted with a tiny spark of life.
When the clock on the wall chimed two, she jumped in her skin.
How the hell did that happen?! Have I really been down here that long?!
She rushed up the stairs, slipping back into the fennec fox so as not to disturb anyone, but she needn’t have bothered. The house was fast asleep. And when she pushed open the door to her room and gazed down at the bed, Devon was fast asleep, too.
She stared at him for a full minute. Re-memorizing the lines of his face. Soaking in every beautiful detail. Trying to imagine them on a child.
Then a little ball of golden fur wriggled up from in his arms, and she snapped back to the present. Her lips curled up into an automatic smile as she slipped into her pajamas and climbed under the covers. There wasn’t a square inch of her body that had escaped her mother’s medical assault, and Annie instantly wormed her way over, nibbling curiously at the tips of the gauze.
Rae kissed her gently on the nose before looking back up at Devon. The few streaks of moonlight able to get through their curtains painted silver lines down his face, making him look like some fairytale prince. The kind who’d had an especially rough day, and needed to sleep it off with his girl and his puppy.
The corners of her mouth curled up in a little smile as she slipped her hand into his.
“Devon,” she whispered, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sweetie, wake up.”
He stirred faintly, but didn’t wake. Sleep had caught him firmly in its grasp, and every bone in his body was heavy with it.
Rae stroked his hair and tried again. “Honey…I need to tell you something.”
This time, his eyes fluttered open. He looked around for a second, unsure whether he was asleep or awake, before turning to Rae.
“Did you say something?” he murmured in a disoriented daze. “Is everything okay?”
He could barely get the words out without slurring them, and Rae let out a silent sigh.
This wasn’t going to happen tonight.
Tonight had put them through enough.
Maybe tomorrow?
“Everything’s fine,” she whispered, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “I didn’t say anything. Go back to sleep.”
He stared dazed for another split second before nodding slowly as his head sank back into the pillow. His eyes fluttered heavy, then shut. And a few seconds later, he was asleep.
“I just thought you might want to know…”
Rae lay back on the mattress beside him, both hands clutched tightly across her stomach.
“…I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 2
Devon wasn’t beside her when Rae woke the next morning. She groped around blindly for him on the sheets, and came up empty. Then an over-excited puppy jumped onto her face.
“Annie!” she gasped, extinguishing the ice blue flames that had sprung immediately from her hands. “You scared me!”
There comes a point after enough people have tried to kill you that you start to develop certain habits. Lethal little reflexes like conjuring a grenade, only to discover that the ‘intruder in the garden’ was actually the mailman.
Or accidentally setting the mattress on fire when surprised.
Rae held up the dog with one hand, using a handy water tatù to
put out the flames with the other. When she was finished, nothing but a soggy scorch mark remained.
“Sorry about that,” she murmured as she and the puppy stared down at it. At the same time, they tilted their heads speculatively to the side. “Guess it’s a good thing you’re here. I only have a few months to stamp those instincts out of me…” She trailed off, feeling suddenly lost, then the puppy licked the entire length of her face. Her lips curved up into a wide grin, and she held it still long enough to plant a kiss on its forehead. “That’s the spirit. We can train each other.”
Annie yipped cheerfully in response.
With a giggle, Rae forgot about the problems of the present and dropped the puppy back onto the bed, rolling the two of them all over the mattress as they began to play.
She hadn’t realized it when she got Annie, but there was something delightfully therapeutic about spending time with something so innocent. Something so prone to fits of uncontrollable joy and tempered with blinding, unconditional adoration. She could see why Devon was so taken with her. It was addictive, that kind of release. Like coming up for air after a long day.
She wondered if a child would be the same way…
Secretly thrilled with the idea she redoubled her efforts, crouching down with a playful growl as Annie pulled herself up to her full height, puffing out her little chest like a lion. Rae countered by conjuring a bouquet of flowers, driving the dog crazy as she dangled them just out of reach. Annie promptly retaliated by throwing up the handful of treats Rae conjured as well.
The two of them had just locked into a ferocious game of tug-of-war, featuring Devon’s favorite shirt, when the door opened and Molly swept inside.
“Finally, you’re awake!” She dropped down onto the bed beside them, running her fingers back through her perfect hair as if she’d already had a rather trying morning. “I need some back-up here; the boys are getting out of control.”
Annie hiccupped and then snorted. Tail wagging, she stopped moving long enough to give Molly a cheerful bark. Rae sat up against the headboard with a smile.