“I’m going home to the Coopers’, but not for long. They’re also going on vacation, to visit some relatives.”
“And you’re not going?” he asks, surprised.
“I don’t like to visit Granny Cooper,” I answer in a low voice.
“Why not?”
I swallow. “She and I aren’t on the best of terms,” I answer evasively, “because of her husband.”
Cliff’s eyebrows shoot up. “What’s the problem?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s eat.”
“Can I ask you just one more question?” he asks cautiously.
I cock my head to one side. “What?”
“Did the man touch you or … harass you?”
The fry I’m about to eat falls from my hand. “I … uh … ”
“That’s enough,” he says softly. “You don’t have to say, Shai.” He takes a deep breath. “What a disgusting jerk,” he mumbles before biting into his sandwich.
“Cliff, he was convicted for it and … just don’t think about it, okay?” I suggest, instantly gloomy. “I don’t want to think about it anymore.”
That’s how fast the mood can go downhill. Just great. Why did I even start on the topic? I should have kept silent so Cliff doesn’t get the wrong impression of me. What could I have done? Jim Cooper was stronger than me, and he blackmailed me, telling me he would make sure I went back to an orphanage if I ever told anyone. But Noah found out. He barged into my room when we were spending the summer at our grandparents’ house. I was lucky he walked in just as my grandfather was starting to put his hands on me. Both Grandma and Grandpa said I was lying, but to this day, I am infinitely glad that my foster parents believed me.
My dad still doesn’t speak to his mother’s husband. He’s utterly ashamed such a thing could happen. I went through long-term therapy, making peace with my experience. Psychologically speaking, the kind of pain I experienced cannot be fully healed; I can only learn to live with it, to contain it. It is an awful thing, and I will never forgive my “grandfather,” but I don’t wish his death anymore. I mean, I was seventeen years old when it happened, so of course I could only think that way. Every woman who experiences something like this—or worse—has every right to wish the worst upon her abuser. But at some point I decided I didn’t want to live with the bitterness. I believe karma will get the old man sooner or later, even though the fates often take their time to strike the wicked.
“I still think it’s disgusting,” Cliff mutters.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” I say in a small voice. “But that’s what you get for asking.”
“Shai, it doesn’t change anything about the way I see you,” Cliff says. “I just think that guy is the lowest of the low.”
“Eat, please,” I say sternly, hoping to bury the topic. I’ve dealt with the abuse, and I’m finally able to have consensual sex and enjoy it, but that doesn’t mean I want to talk about it. I mean, who likes talking about sexual assault? Nobody.
Cliff nods and continues to eat. I hope he forgets this whole conversation quickly and that he doesn’t treat me differently or anything like that. Not even Pearl or Cay know the story, and I don’t want them to.
“Please do me a favor and keep it to yourself, okay?” I ask.
“I won’t talk about it with anyone,” he promises with a small smile.
“Thank you,” I say, breathing a sigh of relief. It would have been hell if my best friend suddenly started treating me with kid gloves because he thinks I’m weak or fragile.
“So what are we doing with the rest of the day?” Cliff asks, trying to sound bright again. “Why don’t we go to the beach?”
“I should study,” I answer.
“Shai, you don’t do anything but study, I think you should take a day off and enjoy yourself.”
I look at him like an angel of virtue. “I enjoyed myself yesterday.”
He just rolls his eyes at me. “You went out late at night—I don’t even want to know how little sleep you got last night.”
“Very little,” I allow with a grin, “but tomorrow I have no classes and no work, so I can sleep in.”
“You should take more time for yourself, Shai. It’s good to be hard-working, sure, but I think you’re overdoing it.”
My eyebrows twitch. “I don’t do anything too much. I simply use my days off to sleep in and enjoy life, contrary to other people.” I give him an exaggerated wink.
“You never know when your last day will come around,” Cliff admonishes.
“Jesus, sometimes you sound like an apocalyptic preacher,” I say, rolling my eyes at him now.
“It’s not pessimism, just realism,” he says, trying to sound earnest—and failing, as a giggle escapes.
“Maybe it’s idiotism,” I say sweetly.
He chuckles. “Cow.”
“Elephant.”
“After our stroll through the zoo, are we friends again?” he asks, amused.
“We’re always friends,” I giggle and wipe my mouth with my napkin.
Cliff isn’t done yet, but he eats faster now, while I wave Caydie over to our table so we can pay. If he wants to go to the beach, we’ll go to the beach. I could really do with my feet in the cool water and the wind whipping my hair.
“Was everything okay today?” Caydie asks with a smile.
I nod. “Great, thank you. As always.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“We’d like the bill,” I let her know.
“Okay, let me clear the table and I’ll be back in a sec,” she says, taking our empty plates after Cliff has finally put his napkin down.
“Should I really just give her my number?” he says when she’s gone.
“It’s your decision, but I say go for it,” I reply with conviction. I can definitely see them together, even though she looks to be a little older than him.
He sighs in resignation. “I’m sure this will come back to bite me in the ass.” He takes another napkin from the dispenser and writes down his number.
As he folds it in half, Caydie returns with the bill. “Here you go.” She tells us the total, and we add a generous tip to it. “Thank you and have a beautiful day,” she says.
“You, too, Caydie,” we reply in unison.
Cliff looks at me, and I nod in her direction. Once he gives her his number, he’ll know whether she’s interested at all. “Uh, Caydie?” he says reluctantly.
“Yes?”
“Can I give you my number?”
Facepalm. How can he lose all his eloquence and wit so suddenly?
She offers him a half smile. “Why not, yeah.”
His hand shakes as he holds out the folded napkin.
She takes it. “Thanks, Cliff. I’ll … call you.”
He smiles at her, looking shy and sheepish. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Then Caydie goes back to her work, and I look at Cliff with my eyebrows raised high. “Can I give you my number?” I repeat with disdain.
“So what? It worked.”
“She could have said no, and then that would’ve been it,” I lecture him. “You have to do this differently, Cliff.”
“How?” he asks, sounding irritated.
“Well, differently. For one, you don’t ask questions that can be answered in the negative!”
He sighs. “All right, all right. I just didn’t know what to say, or rather, how to say it. My brain refuses to work as soon as she looks at me or smiles at me.”
I stifle my laughter, because I know what it feels like to be insecure in someone’s presence. Only last night, I experienced the empty brain syndrome when suddenly confronted with Nathaniel. “I know. I won’t harass you any further. I hope she calls you and you guys go out.”
“Thank you, Shai.”
I smirk. “You’re welcome.”
Chapter 3
Why is my phone ringing this early in the morning? “If this isn’t important, I’m going to kill you, whoever you are,
” I grumble sleepily as I grab my phone from the nightstand. My ringtone is an old rock song that Noah set for me, and each time it rings, I vow to change it, but never do. “Hello?”
“Hey, honey!” Pearl’s voice sounds shrilly in my ear. Ever since Colton dumped her, she’s been clingy. I’m getting increasingly annoyed with her fear of loss constantly on display, but I can also understand it. She has nobody but her few female friends—and the men she dates to give her the validation she craves. Pearl’s parents are divorced and she lives with her father, who’s always either busy working or busy vacationing with his new girlfriend. She’s very much on her own, and I pity her for it.
“Hi. Why are you waking me up?” I ask.
“Because I couldn’t find you on campus. Don’t you have classes?”
“Pearl, it’s Monday. My day off.”
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, Shai. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay. Is there anything else?”
“Just the usual shit,” she complains. “I keep being screwed and dumped by the jerks.”
“That’s because you always grab another guy as soon as one of them breaks up with you. They all think you’re easy, and that’s why they treat you the way they do,” I lecture, but in a voice laced with warmth so as not to make her angry. If you anger Pearl, she’s likely to take revenge, and that is not a pretty thing. I know all about how she tried to ostracize Avery’s new girlfriend—no longer that new now—after he broke up with Pearl. She stalked the poor girl on the internet, researching her sad, shitty past, and then proceeded to tell everyone. She almost managed to destroy the budding relationship between Dahlia and Avery. I thought that was a mean thing to do, and Pearl and I had a major argument about it, which was only resolved when I found out Avery had made up with his new girl.
“Oh, so you’re going to judge me for the way I live now?” she asks bitchily.
“No,” I yawn. “I’m just telling you what I think is the main reason for your bad luck with guys.”
She snorts. “Great. Thanks a lot.”
“You’re very welcome. You know I like to help.” I smirk. I love teasing her when she’s annoyed, and I’m usually able to pull her out of her seething, frustrated moods.
She proceeds to giggle. “I can’t stay angry at you, Shai.”
“Because you know I’m right,” I say sweetly, feeling fully awake by now.
“Yeah, maybe. Will I see you later today?”
“I need to study, and I was planning on spending a chill day at home. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Aw, come on, Shai,” she begs. “I want to hit the beach, and Cay’s already told me she’s too busy.”
“I really can’t.”
“Please!” she insists.
I sigh. “Okay. When?”
“I’ll call you when I leave the house, okay?”
“Right, okay. See you later, Pearl.”
“See you, baby girl.”
I hang up, turn around, and try to fall asleep again. The alarm clock seems to be mocking me with its numbers: 8:24. Man, I’m livid with Pearl for waking me up on my one day off. She knows full well which days I have classes and work, but I assume she just doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about much about anything, to be honest.
After half an hour I still haven’t managed to find sleep, so I rise and shuffle into the bathroom.
“Shai!” Noah squeals when I walk in. I blink and realize that he’s stark naked, just out of the shower.
My eyes widen, and then I blush. “Sorry,” I stammer and flee the room. Crap! That’s typical for me when I’m a half-awake zombie, but he normally locks the door so stuff like this doesn’t happen. Well, it just did. With a sigh, I turn and walk into the kitchen, deciding I need coffee. Lots of it.
***
Fifteen minutes later, Noah comes into the kitchen and pours himself a cup. “It would be nice if you could knock next time, Shai.”
“Yeah. It would also be nice if you could lock the door next time, Noah,” I say dryly. “I don’t want to see your junk first thing in the morning.”
He makes a face. “Next time I’ll lock the door.”
“Thanks.”
“Why are you awake anyway?” He asks.
“Pearl called me way too early,” I answer grumpily.
“Oh. Doesn’t she know you’re not supposed to wake a sleeping tiger?”
I return his grin. “Seems that she doesn’t, but the day will come when she’ll learn the hard way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Someday, she’s going to wake someone who doesn’t take it as lightly as I do,” I huff.
Noah grins again. “Let’s hope you and I won’t be around to witness that then.”
My eyebrows twitch. “Exactly. I’m taking a shower now.” I drain the rest of my cup as I rise. On my way out, I dump the cup in the sink.
Once I stand in the shower, the warm water washes away the rest of my sleepiness. I’m more awake with every droplet that hits my body, and more thoughtful, too. Why did I have to run into Nathaniel two days ago? He appeared as soon as I thought about him after the game. I mean, we passed each other on campus a few times, but we never talked, until our encounter at Dizzles. Shit! When I started college, I didn’t know he was studying here, too—otherwise I’d have chosen a different school. I could have gone to Stanford, but no, I had to pick the same college the man who broke my heart attends. After Nathaniel, I had one other boyfriend, who I met after therapy, but Tim and I broke up when we couldn’t get along anymore. Now I do miss him, though we’ve remained friends, sort of. We talk on the phone from time to time, or Skype, but these chats have become rare since we both started college. With a sigh, I turn off the water and step out of the shower.
***
Half an hour later, after breakfast, I make myself comfortable with my books on the balcony. Noah has gone to classes and won’t be back until late. He prefers to study in the library, where he can get any book he might need, but I like to do my research on the Internet whenever possible. Giyf.com is one of my favorite search engines. You should see people’s faces when they ask me something and I tell them go look it up on giyf.com. It’s priceless, since most people think it’s fake. Nobody gets that it simply means “Google is your friend.com.” By now, most of my friends have stopped falling for my recommendation, but it’s still funny when someone pulls out their phone and checks the URL.
I sigh and groan a few times as I try to stay focused on my textbooks. Most of the time I don’t study much, since my memory is really good and I can remember a lot of what the professors say without rereading it. Despite my good memory, however, my grades are only so-so. So I study anyway, hoping to get better. While they’re good enough, I often wish I got higher grades from my professors.
***
My phone rings, giving me a start. With my head on the table, I obviously fell asleep. One of the sheets of my notebook is sticking to my cheek. “Since when do I drool in my sleep?” I ask myself softly, while my phone won’t stop screaming at me. That damn rock song.
“Hello?”
“You ready? I’ve been trying to call you for half an hour!” Pearl complains.
“Oh, I fell asleep again. Give me ten minutes, okay?”
“I’ll wait in front of your house,” she says and hangs up.
I sigh again and stretch. Grabbing all my class materials, I carry them back to my room and drop it all on the bed. I can tidy up the chaos later. I quickly strip down and put on my bikini and a summer dress on top of it. I’m glad Miami is warm year-round, which means a lot less clothing shopping than many other places would require. Though I actually like wearing wide sweaters—the easygoing, can’t-be-bothered look. Raking my hands through my hair, I walk into the bathroom to get some towels, which I stuff into my backpack.
Ten minutes later, I step out the door, and Pearl pulls up in her car. “Wow. I thought I’d have to wait for you.”
“You thought
wrong.” I smile and get into her convertible. “Did you borrow this or is it yours?”
She grins. “My dad had a guilty conscience. Great, isn’t it?”
“Amazing,” I reply, taking it all in as I throw my backpack in the backseat.
“Did you bring any sunscreen?” she asks.
“Pearl, my mom was black,” I say with a smirk. “Even though I may look white to you, I rarely burn.”
Mom—I miss her. I was eleven years old when she died. My parents were amateur pilots, until that fateful day when their small plane crashed. They were both killed instantly. My mother never got to comfort me when I experienced my first heartache. She never saw me graduate high school or comment on my choice of prom date. I can feel the tears well in my eyes, and I close them to get rid of those stinging bastards. I don’t want to cry. I never cry in front of my friends—only when I’m alone. I don’t want to show any emotions that might lead them to think I’m weak. Some jerk once said time heals all wounds. It’s not true. You only learn to live with the pain. I’d like to punch that jerk in the nose and tell him that time heals all wounds, just wait until it doesn’t hurt anymore. I ball my hands into fists in my pockets. I’ve found that this is the best strategy, even though I have to scream my frustration and anger into my pillow later. The recipient of my screams as well as my tears, my poor pillow would be deaf by now if it had ears.
“Earth calling Shailene,” Pearl snaps. “What planet are you on?”
I shake my head to get rid of the dark cloud and the threatening tears, and then I look at her. “Probably Mars,” I smile, not ready to confess my battered emotions. Then I take a look around. “Oh, we’re almost there.”
“Yes, and I told you all kinds of things, and you only muttered ‘uh-huh’ and ‘mm-hm’ and the like. Do I have to tell you all that again?”
“Uh … ”
“I guess that’s a yes,” she snorts.
“Oh, come on, Pearl! You never listen to me either, so let’s call it even. Tell me again.” Good God, if you don’t make her feel that you’re glued to her lips, she immediately gets all diva with you. I’m glad Cay is different.
“I was telling you that I chatted online with a really nice guy last night.”
Nathaniel: True Love: New Adult College Romance Novella (Coral Gables Series Book 4) Page 3