The only explanation was that it was a hickey. If it looked like one and felt like one most obviously it was one.
Madison got up from under the covers and felt her stomach growl. She had not eaten anything since her appetite was spoilt earlier. She then felt as though she could have consumed an entire turkey.
She placed on her satin robe and exited her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She made sure to quietly head down the steps, so she would not have woken anyone up.
Walking into the kitchen, she turned on the light and sighed as she walked towards the refrigerator.
She opened the refrigerator. All she could see was diet this and diet that which was distasteful enough to cut her appetite again.
She closed the refrigerator in disappointment. Then, turned to see the kitchen clock's time was quarter past midnight. A new day and still the same problems as the one before.
She took a seat on the kitchen island stool and rested her head on her palms of her hands. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Was the quote that explained her days. Happiness was sure to spring since her big sister was getting married. But as for her mother's tantrums, darkness lingered in even the happiness of moments.
She watched the clock tick from seconds to minutes to even hours till it was four in the morning. She felt beneath her eyes plummet each time she blinked but that was usual. She always had a hard time sleeping which helped in writing her bestselling books. But for her mental state it was definitely unhealthy.
She ate sleeping pills prescribed by doctors. But those medications just made her feel even worse when she woke. In actuality, Madison was a monster in disguise. Under the cheery smile and insignificant winks at strangers, she was a lonely person.
She remembered when she used to cut her thighs. She would have cut her wrists, but that part of her body was too noticeable for others to see. The marks healed but she never did.
She soon found it too damaging to her body to cut herself, when she felt like feeling the pain she would go to a tattoo parlor. At that moment she had about three different tattoos on her body. One on her breast, one on her lower back and one below her right hip.
She would have had more tattoos if she did not have to make the decision on where to put them. Her first tattoo was when she was fifteen. It was after she told her mother she was a lesbian and her mother did not take it too well. Meaning her mother never spoke to her about it or explained how to go about it. Her mother's advice was that she was too young to know what she liked and did not. That she did not look like a boy which meant she implied that all lesbians looked like boys. Her mother was ignorant of the knowledge of women. Women did not need to look like men to like other women.
She was always annoyed that her mother thought that there were only butch lesbians. If that were the case, Madison would have been attracted to men, which she found distasteful.
Madison walked up back to her bedroom and stripped from her robe and nightgown as she walked into the shower. She turned the knob and allowed the hot water to cascade down her body. She hugged herself with her arms as she slid down to the floor and closed her eyes.
She stayed in the shower until her entire body was wrinkled to a prune. When she got out she dried her skin with the white, cotton towel before she got dressed for the day.
As she headed down the steps again, she still made sure not to make any noise since it was still early morning. She checked the time on her wrist watch and saw that it was minutes past six. She thought to herself maybe she could have gotten back before anyone even woke up, but nothing turned out as it was hoped.
"Where are you going?" She heard the stern voice of her mother from up the stairs. When did she get out of her bedroom with her noticing? It was like everything seemed to be unnoticed by Madison.
She stepped down the last step and crossed her arms facing her dreadful mother. "What is your concern?" Madison said blatantly earning a deadly glare from her mother.
"Are you going to cause a fight this early in the upstairs.
"You mother questioned standing composed on the corridor of the upstairs.
"You did not seem to mind causing one last night." Madison spat as she felt her insides screaming in hunger. She definitely needed to get some food and fast.
"Have some respect when you talk to me." Her mother commanded making Madison roll her brown eyes.
"I will have respect when you deserve some." With that Madison was out the door and out into the bright sunlight of the London morning.
She walked to a nearby cafe which she used to go before she moved. It was a little place only a few blocks away.
She sat and gave the waitress her order before drifting off into deep thought. Well, then deep since she was always disrupted by the sounds of people's voices.
But with each second being in deep thought, she wondered what she was going to do about Victoria. She more than liked the woman. But she felt guilty if the relationship was to go anywhere. She would just be dragging the woman into the nightmare called her life.
But in any case, Madison was heading back to New York in a short number of days. No relationship could get too complicated in such a short time. Victoria knew that Madison was not staying in London for long. So, to both of them, it would be just a minor fling. That was what it was. A fling. A simple, not committed, no feelings kind of relationship. Crushes are minor things. Victoria must have just thought she was hot or just said that she had a crush on Madison in the heat of the moment, or maybe she was straight and testing the waters with her. Whatever it was nothing serious.
Maybe being occupied would have helped her not to ruin Melody's wedding. If her secret got out it would just ruin everything. She would not have forgiven herself if she caused her family any more pain than they may already have. It was painful enough that they had to handle her mother not liking the way she chose to love, add her excess problems to that and it would have caused a family breakdown.
The waitress came back with her order.
Madison ate in silence filling the empty void that was inside of her stomach.
After finishing eating and paying her bill, she decided to take a walk. She did not feel like having an argument with her mother. It was likely to happen if she went back and she wanted to avoid that for a little while longer.
She walked on familiar streets that had changed a bit. Some new shops and a few renovations but all in all everything seemed the same.
She walked for what seemed like minutes but was actually hours. She just never felt the time as it passed by. She checked her watch again and it was already ten. Thinking it was time to head back, she hailed a cab.
CHAPTER FIVE
Upon entering the house, Madison felt chills run through her body. Something was wrong. She walked into the living room to find her mother and sister sitting. They seemed to be talking before Madison walked in. Were they talking about her?
"You are back." Her mother stated coldly.
Madison did not answer. She just knew nothing good would come of it if she responded.
"We need to get you fitted for the dress," Melody said. "We will head to the bridal shop now, so we can get a head start on the day."
They left their mother and drove to the bridal shop in Melody's car.
Inside there were a lot of dresses on display. All designs to any woman's liking. Then, there were the bridesmaid dresses too, in every color and style which made Madison's head spin. Luckily Melody already chose what the bridesmaids would wear.
She then spotted a familiar brunette. The woman wore a playful smirk as she walked over to where the sisters were standing.
"Should we get started?"
Madison furrowed her eyebrows.
"You work here?"
Madison thought Victoria was supposed to be a lawyer or something since that was what she was aiming for since Madison knew her.
"I own this establishment," Victoria stated as the two women followed her to the back of the shop.
Madison did not take the conversation any further, but she had a lot of questions which were likely to be forgotten by the time she had a chance to ask. Madison had a very forgetful memory.
As Madison changed into a light green dress, all she could have thought about was how much she hated green. There was enough green in the world not to wear green. She felt like a lime green leaf.
She walked out of the changing room with a fake smile on her face.
"Cut the crap. Do not fake smile me. I know you hate green."
Madison scrunched up her nose at her sister’s words. "You know me too well." Madison looked herself in the mirror. "I look awful."
"No, you do not." She heard Victoria immediately say making Madison feel the heat rise to her cheeks. "It just has to be fitted to your curvy body."
Victoria walked over to Madison and placed her hands on Madison's sides. "The dress just needs to be taken in by the waist."
"Can I take it off now? No need to wear it out before the wedding." Madison pleaded, and Melody walked over to unzip her. She immediately took it off and handed it to Victoria who was staring at her awkwardly, especially since Madison was half naked in her bridal shop, what else was the woman supposed to do?
"When did you get that?" Melody pointed to the tattoo below Madison's hip. She touched it trying to remember the exact moment she got it.
"Two weeks after I moved to New York. A girl I met owns a tattoo parlor."
Madison saw Victoria still staring at her, so she decided to get dressed. "And that one?" Madison knew her sister was referring to the one on her back.
As she placed on back her clothes she spoke. "A year ago, when I felt like enhancing how dangerous I looked, but a dragon tail running down my lower back and stopping in between my ass can’t be described much as dangerous, more likely to be...what is the word?" Melody tried to remember the exact word that was in her head. Madison came out dressed. "Provocative. I guess everything looks hot on me." She paused, "trust me the women love it." Madison grinned looking over at Victoria who had her eyes fixated on the ground.
"Maybe one of those many women is the one that gave you that mark on your neck." Madison felt like kicking her sister in the gut but she was pregnant so that was off limits. All she could do was blush till she looked like a clown. She had been doing a lot of blushing. She felt like scraping off the redness from her cheeks because it was so embarrassing.
"Is it serious?" Her sister persisted. Madison just rolled her eyes.
"No. I do not get serious." Her sister gave her the ‘really’ look.
"Whatever you say sis, but no woman can make you blush the way you are blushing now."
Victoria looked at Madison quizzically. Did she make Madison blush so much? Or maybe it was just that she was embarrassed by the mark?"
"Mel, it is nothing and nothing actually happened. You could say we were interrupted." ‘By her,’ Madison thought.
"So, my wedding interrupted you from getting laid?" Melody laughed.
Madison went ahead and played the part. "Yes, if I did not have to fly all the way here I would be doing lots of exercising." Madison winked and picked up her purse from the chair she left it in.
"Well, I am truly sorry. I hope you get laid on your time here." Melody continued to chuckle.
"I am counting on it." She paused and looked over to a blushing Victoria. "And at least there is a possibility that I will." Madison giggled referring to Melody and Troy.
"Whatever." Melody got up from the chair she was sitting on. She grabbed a dress that was right next to her on a rack. "I am going to make sure my dress fits." Madison hoped it did since Melody looked like she had gained a few extra pounds.
As Melody put on the dress, the two were left alone in awkward silence.
When Melody came back out, Victoria walked over to her in front of the mirror to zip up the white dress. It was a lovely piece of work, but Madison would not be caught in a million years wearing one of those. It had too many layers that would have suffocated Madison to death.
"Awe, you look like a fluffy marshmallow." Madison joked. "This reminds me of when I..." She was cut by Melody's words.
"Let me guess, the time you went down on the bride." Madison wanted to kill her sister. She felt her cheeks redden far more than it ever did since she came.
"I need to stop telling you things." Madison almost screamed. Victoria was curious about what bride they were talking about.
"Plus that was not what I was going to say. Camp. I was going to say it reminded me of camp. Why would you think I would bring that up?"
Melody shrugged her shoulders and continued to look herself in the mirror. "So, who was she anyway? You never told me the specifics." Madison rolled her eyes and bit down on her lip. "It is between us two and Victoria. You can tell us." Melody added.
"Whatever, you are not going to believe me anyway." Madison folded her arms and placed her weight on the left side.
"I know you would not lie." Melody shrugged her shoulders. Victoria just stood there staring at Madison waiting for her to continue.
"Well, I was seventeen." Madison paused, and Melody's eyes widened. "I know what you think, and it is exactly what it seems like. She was older by about eleven years." Madison walked over to take a seat. "It was fun. But I doubt you will want to know who it is."
"So, let me get this right, you were having an affair with an older, engaged woman.”
"Gosh Mel, speak any louder and the God that I do not believe in will hear."
"Your fault for telling me things. Anyway, just tell me who she is." Melody pleaded.
"I am still not telling you who she is."
"Well, it happened six years ago, and the woman was thirty-one years old then." Melody paused and glared at her sister. "It cannot be!" Melody almost shouted in amusement.
Madison bit down on her lip. "Well, you tell me." She closed her eyes.
Melody felt her blood exhilarated and amused at the same time. "You fucked mum's best friend? Oh, if she finds out she is going to kill both of you. The two of them are closer than ever. I cannot believe it. That woman has the equal homophobia as mom. Well, I guess she cannot be that homophobic if she banged you."
Madison rolled her eyes. "Not her idiot. I said eleven years not fourteen years. You need to start checking your math. It was our Physics teacher. Plus, you know how much I despise Margaret. That woman is the same comparison to mum. If she came on to me, she must have turned blind and I must have turned butch."
Melody mouthed an ‘oh.’ The realization knocked her straight in the head but then again that was kind of worse.
"I am shocked that you and her... A teacher-student relationship. Fuck Maddy, you go above and beyond when it comes down to sex."
CHAPTER SIX
"You are acting like I was underage Mel, it was six years ago, and the relationship did not last long. I was a lesbian teenager with a homophobic mother. I wanted to feel what it was like to have sex. Also, she was an engaged woman who was getting married because she was afraid to be alone."
Madison drew in the air as she spoke for too long without taking in oxygen.
"I am just saying that she kind of preyed on you since you were confused then."
"Whatever. I have not seen her since I graduated."
Melody walked closer to her sister. "Did you love her?" Melody cooed.
Madison looked over to a still standing Victoria. She seemed to want to continue the topic.
Madison did not know if she loved the older woman. She was young and reckless, and the woman was her first. Everyone had some kind of feelings for the person who took their virginity, but it was not love. It was pure lust and raw, passionate sex with a lot of orgasms.
"No, you know that I do not fall in love and to be honest I do not want to. At least I do not want anyone to fall for me. I am not capable of understanding someone and I would never want to break anyone's heart, especially because I know that..."
Madison stopped talking know
ing that her confession might ruin her sister's entire wedding. "Know what?"
"That I am incapable of monogamy." Madison lied to cover up the truth. "Anyway, go change so we can go for lunch."
"I will be right back."
Melody went into the changing room. "Incapable of monogamy. That does not make me feel any better." Victoria said walking over to Madison.
Madison flashed a smile. "Well, I think I will try a bit of monogamy for a week since I do not have my eyes on any but one person."
"Wow, the seduction goddess is planning on staying monogamous just for me. I am honored." Victoria said jokingly.
"Well, maybe you are special." Victoria blushed. She looked so cute when she blushed. It made Madison's insides tingle.
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