“Okay, I’ll wait for your call then and keep looking. Thanks, Mr. James. Have a great day!” She waves. I nod and close the door. I text Becca, because she left four hours ago.
December 16, 2012 2:15 p.m.
Me: Where r u?
Becca: Boston. Why?
Me: Um ... haven’t heard from u.
Becca: Doesn’t your staff report 2 U?
Me: Yes. But I like to hear from u!
Becca: Oh, sorry. Stacey’s in surgery.
This is stupid! I call Becca.
“Hey, baby.”
“Hey, surgery for what?” I grab my hidden box to start working on Becca’s gift.
“They are sewing her skull back on. There’s no more brain swelling.” Becca yawns.
“That’s good, right, sweetheart? You tired?” I smile at the family picture of us with Mickey Mouse.
“Yeah, it’s really good. I just feel terrible that all this has happened. Steve hasn’t returned any of my phone calls. It’s so weird. I can’t believe he would be like this. He loved her so much. I understand that people fall out of love, but to not even return a phone call to see how she is? That’s just strange. It’s not sitting well with me at all. And yes, I’m very tired. I haven’t the slightest idea why.” She makes a humming sound as if she’s pondering.
“I’m exhausted, too. There was a beautiful woman in my bed who I needed to conquer over and over again.” I chuckle.
“What do you think about the Steve thing?” She ignores my comment.
“I don’t know, Becca. Maybe Stacey hasn’t been very honest with you. Look, I’ve got to go, I’m busy.” I’m very irritated. Maybe we should just stick with texts.
“Well, you called me!” Is she for real? “Are you still looking at houses?” she asks quickly.
“How did you know?”
“Grayson, it’s a small town. I know Maxine. So, did you find anything?” Boy, she’s persistent!
“Only a few. We’ll look at them when you get back. Okay, love?” Love this picture of Becca and I nose to nose with our lips puckered at each other.
“Yes. Gray?”
“Yes, Becca.”
“I’m sorry I got upset with you this morning. I know why you’ve been this way.” She seems almost hesitant.
“Yeah, you going to do something about it, then?” I say, then slap myself upside the head for being a jerk.
“You know ... you are such an asshole!” she snaps, and hangs up. I call her back and get sent straight to her voicemail.
“Sweetheart, I got carried away. You’re right, I’m an arsehole. I love you and I miss you. Bye. Please call me when you’re done being mad.” I hang up.
Back to work, Gray! I start laying everything out on the tables, trying to piece together what I want to go with what.
Claudia pokes her head in.
“Grayson, do you want anything to eat?” She seems a bit concerned.
“Oh, is it dinnertime already?” I look up.
“No, Grayson, it’s ten o’clock. You haven’t even taken a pee break.”
“What? It can’t be!” I look at my watch. “Holy shit! I honestly did not think I’ve been in here that long!” I’m mystified. “Yes, whatever Adam has left over, Claudia! Thank you.” I smile with great appreciation.
“How is it coming along?” She bends her head to the side.
“Actually, pretty well! I have half the book done!” I’m very excited.
“Wow, that’s incredible!” she says in disbelief.
“Oh, well, there’s a lot of pages that don’t have pictures.” I let her glance. “I hope she’ll like it.” I’m a bit nervous. She hasn’t called or texted me again all day.
“I’m sure she’ll love it. You know she’s crazy about you, Gray. I’ve never seen her like this. I know it was rocky in the beginning, but you were definitely the right choice even though you are a controlling bastard!” She laughs.
“That’s it! Bastard! Ugh, Claudia, I could kiss you!” I blow her a kiss and grab my phone.
December 16, 2012 10:15 p.m.
Me: Big British Bastard?
I wait for twenty minutes. My dinner comes. Nothing.
I eat.
Still nothing.
I call Paul. He answers quickly.
“Yes, Mr. James?”
“Where is Becca?” I rub my face.
“In her suite with Melissa, sir. Do you need me to get her for you?”
“No, Paul. Thank you. What time did she leave the hospital?”
“Two hours ago, sir. Mrs. Bergman made it out of surgery just fine,” he adds. He must have guessed my next question.
“Good, thank you. And Becca, how has she been today?” I can’t believe I have to ask a complete stranger how my fiancée is!
“Very weepy, sir ... the whole day. I understand Mrs. Bergman is like a sister to her, and this must be very hard for her.” I have a hunch Stacey’s not the only cause of her weepiness.
“Thanks, Paul. Yes, she’s very upset. I’m driving her crazy with my concern, which is why I thought I’d ask you instead of annoying her.” I chuckle, acting as if it’s the real reason.
“Oh, my wife is the same way. Well, now that you got your answers from me, you can call Mrs. James and just say good night.”
That would be a great suggestion if I wasn’t at the top of her shit list!
“Yes, Paul! Thanks, mate. Have a good night!”
“You too, sir.” We hang up. I text Becca again.
Me: G’nite, love. Glad Stace did well today. I miss u terribly. Can you at least text me and tell me to fuck auff?
Melissa: She’s asleep, sir. Thought you should know.
Me: How is she?
Melissa: Very upset, won’t tell me why. Sorry. :(
Me: Thanks. G’nite.
Melissa: G’nite, sir.
I push my plate to the side and continue to work. I want to get this done and get to her ASAP. Maybe I shouldn’t rush to her side. Maybe she needs this break from me. Well, that’s depressing! I’ll just do one more page, then I’ll only have one, two, three, four, and five. Five ... that’s it! Wow! I’ll have this done tomorrow! I finish the page I’ve started and add it to the book. I pack everything up and put it away.
“Good night, Gray!” Claudia calls from the office.
“‘Night.” I wave to her and head up the stairs. Not looking forward to being here without Becca. I enter our room. Seems so quiet and empty. I strip down and climb into bed. Tomorrow she’ll call. Tomorrow ...
December 17, 2012 8:00 p.m.
Me: Becca ... I miss you ... please.
December 18, 2012 9:00 a.m.
Me: Becca, do you not want me to come?
“Are we going, sir?” Derek pops his head into the office.
“One moment.” I call Becca again. Straight to voicemail. I call Melissa.
“Sir?” She sounds nervous.
“Put her on, please.”
“Sir, she’s in the shower.”
“Melissa, don’t lie to me. Put her on.” I hear her talking to Becca.
“What, Grayson?” Becca snaps.
“Becca, I ... forget it. Morgan will be here Saturday. Will you be home by then?” I can’t believe she’s still this angry with me.
“I’ll be home tomorrow. Will my room be done by then?” What in the hell is she talking about? “I don’t want to share your room with you,” she almost whispers.
“Oh! We’re back to this again? Confused, Becca? Maybe you need to fuck Ray to figure things out, huh?” She hangs up. “Derek, let’s go!” I’m not putting up with this shit!
BECCA
“Becca, don’t cry.” Melissa hugs me.
“Let’s go see Stacey.” I wipe my eyes and grab my purse.
“Is he coming?”
“No. Please, let’s go.” We leave for the hospital.
“Becca, maybe you’re overreacting a bit. I don’t mean to pry, but that seems to be the biggest problem with you
two. You guys are so intense, in every way. When you argue, it’s almost ridiculous.” Okay, Melissa has become a little too comfortable.
“Geez Meliss, tell me how you really feel!” I roll my eyes. She’s right, though. I pull out my cell, take a deep breath, and text.
December 18, 2012 9:22 a.m.
Me: Baby ...
Gray: On my way, sweetheart.
Me: Can’t wait to see you!
Gray: Me too! I miss you so much. Any chance we can forget our behavior?
Me: It’s been brought to my attention that we can be ridiculous!
Gray: Whoever said that is right! We need to stop acting like this! I love you!
Me: I agree! Love you too! BTW ... not Big British Bastard! So close, one word off!
Gray: Ugh!
“Okay, all fixed!” I smile over at Melissa.
“That quick?” She raises her eyebrows in disbelief.
“Yes, I guess we’re both tired of our behavior. By the way, he said you were right, so you may want to mark that down!” I laugh as we walk into Stacey’s room and find Ray. Oh, Christ!
“Oh ... um, I’ll come back in an hour?” I ask Ray.
“Becca, we’re adults. I think we can both visit Stacey at the same time.” He stands up and points to the chair to the other side of her.
“This is pretty early in the day for you to be down here.” I sit. “Hey, Stace, brought you some magazines and the new Jennifer Weiner book.” I grab her hand and squeeze.
“I had to meet a client down here this morning,” he explains when I settle in next to Stacey.
“Oh, well, that’s good! Business is growing for you!” I find it hard to look at him.
“Yeah. So, I see the Brit finally put a ring on your finger.”
I look down at it and over to him.
“Yes, he was designing it, that’s why it took so long.” And I’m explaining this to him why? Ugh! Shut up, Becca!
“Saw you guys in People magazine a month ago, as well as all the others.”
I look over at him again. His hair is getting that wild look I’ve always loved on him.
“You need a haircut, McNeil.” I smile. I miss my friend. Why does it have to be this way?
“Funny, you always loved it at this length.” He smirks.
“You always say it’s unprofessional.”
“It is, but maybe more to me than others.”
“How’s Annie?” Common ground.
“Well, she’s healed up nicely. She’s just a bit depressed.” He frowns slightly.
“Why?” I miss her so much.
“Um, let’s see. The woman who was like a mom to her up and left, taking her best friend with her. You know, you could at least call or drop her a note.” He’s a bit upset, rightfully so. I should’ve kept in contact with her. That wasn’t very fair of me.
“You’re right, Ray. I’m sorry. I will call her tonight. I do miss her terribly. Morgan’s coming home this weekend. Maybe Annie can spend a few days with us.” I think Grayson may strangle me for this.
“I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. Maybe one day, not a few.” He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head at me.
I’m tempted to ask what the headshake is all about, but the song playing on the iPod I left in here distracts me. The Smiths are singing “Girlfriend in a Coma.” I burst into a fit of giggles.
“What’s so funny?”
“Listen to this song. How ironic and awful!” I continue to giggle and turn it up.
Ray chuckles a little.
“That is awful, who sings that? Bec ... oh, baby!” He gets up to comfort me when my giggles turn into sobs. Paul and Melissa jump in front of me.
“Sorry, sir. You may not approach Mrs. James,” Paul states sternly.
“Her name is Ms. Campbell! She’s not married to that asshole yet!” he says through gritted teeth, then takes in a deep breath while clenching his fists. “She has two best friends in this world. One is in that hospital bed, and the other is right here. I am approaching her as a friend who cares deeply for her!” When Paul’s expression remains unchanged, he turns to Melissa. “You know I won’t hurt her!”
“Sorry, Mr. McNeil. Nobody is allowed to approach her.” With a stolid face, Melissa is the most professional I have ever seen her. I feel proud, like an older sister would!
“Becca, this is what you want, baby? To be treated like a prisoner?” Ray sits back down.
“I’m not a prisoner, Ray. They are just protecting me.” I wipe my eyes.
“From me?! I would never hurt you, baby! Becs, c’mon ... this is ridiculous!” How can I possibly tell him that I do need protection from him? It wouldn’t just be a hug. He would try to kiss me. They know it, especially Melissa.
“Ray?” I look up at him.
“Yeah, babe?” He sighs, defeated.
“Why did you and Stacey ... why did you have her text me those questions and behave the way she did?” My chin is quivering because, honestly, I’m still very upset about it.
“What questions?” He closes his eyes.
“McNeil!” I bite.
“Because you do stupid things when you’re in love, I don’t know. I’m not proud of it! Stop biting your lip, baby.” He gives me a half smile. “I love it when you do that,” he murmurs.
“I thought you always hated it.” I shoot him a look of confusion. He flashes me his boyish grin and shakes his head.
“Becca, you are so oblivious, babe! Before we had our first kiss, think about all of the times I would thumb your lip free. You blushed and looked away every time. Damn it! I wish I would’ve just kissed you then instead of waiting for you to be ‘ready.’” His stare is intense. “You’re blushing now, baby.”
“I am not!” Yes I am, damn it! I can feel the fucking heat rise to my face! “Now you’re biting your lip, McNeil,” I point out.
“Jealous?” He smiles.
“No! Stop flirting.” Yes ... maybe a little. Christ, I need my head examined.
“Is that what I’m doing, Becs, baby?” Boyish grin again. I laugh and bite my lower lip. Ray tilts his head, his eyes making a beeline for my lips. Realizing he’s caught my habit again, I bite with a bit more exaggeration and widen my eyes at him—smartass that I am. He wiggles his eyebrows at me in response.
“You are impossible! What am I going to do with you?” I shake my fists.
“Oh, baby, I can think of a few things.” He licks his lips, then shoots me an air kiss and a wink. I just roll my eyes.
“So, Stacey’s husband hasn’t even returned a phone call to me. Isn’t that strange, Ray?” Must. Change. Subject!
“Uh yeah, that is, Becs,” he agrees, then laughs.
“What?”
“Nice left-field action there, babe!”
My cell pings.
“Excuse me.” I look down at it.
December 18, 2012 10:17 a.m.
Gray: If he calls you babe or baby one more time, I’m going to lose my shit!
Me: Mr. James, your stalkerish capabilities never cease to amaze me! I’m a bit turned on by it!
Gray: Really? Very interesting! I thought you would be mad. Will definitely take turned on over pissed off any day!
Me: :)
“Let me guess. Grayson?” Ray sighs.
“Yep. He’s almost here,” I lie.
“Is he being good to you, Becca?” He’s very sincere.
“Yes, very good, Ray. I promise. I am sorry that I hurt you,” I add.
“Well, it is what it is.” He gets up. “I’m going to head back up now. You’ll call for Annie?” He heads over to me. Paul and Melissa step up again. “Ugh! Becs, can I just hug you goodbye?”
“Yes, it’s okay,” I say to them as I stand. My phone pings. I ignore it. “Bye, Ray.”
“Bye, Becs.” He hugs me tightly to him. “I love you. I always will,” he whispers, then kisses my ear.
“Drive safe.” I try to pull away. Ray stares into my eyes. He leans in t
o kiss me. I turn my head so his kiss lands on my cheek.
“Later, babe.” And with that, he’s out the door. I look at my cell and barely get to read Gray’s message telling me “it wasn’t okay to hug him” before it’s ringing.
“Please don’t yell at me.” Not the usual greeting I give when I answer a phone.
“Are you okay?” He’s calm, thankfully.
“It was just a hug.” I nestle the phone in the crook of my shoulder as I grab a nail file out of my purse.
“First of all, I know he tried to kiss you. You were upset and crying before; that’s what I’m actually asking you about.”
Oh.
“I’m okay. That was not a good song to hear. I also feel bad about Annie.” My heart breaks at the thought of how disappointed she must be in me right now.
“He’s using her to get to you.” Grayson’s tone miraculously remains calm. I’m impressed!
“I don’t think so. I asked about her.” I start filing Stacey’s nails.
“He didn’t ask about Morgan.”
I can feel the power behind his arched eyebrow. I see it, though it is not in front of me.
“Uh, I did notice that.”
“Okay, Becs, baby, I’ll be there soon, babe ... to bite your lip.”
Now I sense his teasing smile.
“You’re awful!” I laugh. “When will you be here?”
“I don’t know, an hour maybe. I gotta go, doll—my email alert is going off like crazy.” He sighs.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon then, baby. Love you.” I pull the nail file away from Stacey’s hand to hang up.
“Love you too.” The line goes silent. I throw my phone back into my purse and continue on with her nails.
“So, I need you to wake up now, lazy bones! I’m getting married March ninth and I need my best friend there! C’mon, Stace! We have so much to do!” I lean into her ear. “Stace, I’m having a baby. I need you awake!” Staring at her, I’m just filled with so much sorrow. She’s thirty-five, in the middle of a divorce, and hasn’t had a child yet. An uncomfortable blanket of guilt comes over me. I shouldn’t have told her about the baby. “What will it be? Magazines or a book? Okay, a book it is!” I grab the book and start reading it.
I get as far as chapter six when I feel familiar hands on my shoulders. I lean my head against his arm. He bends down and kisses me.
Goodbye Secrets Page 7