“What is it with this room?” he mutters against my ear. I turn my face to him and give in to his touch.
“Mom, Grammy Hazel said Aunt Stacey needs you!” Morgan yells into the stockroom. Grayson and I jump.
“Ugh!” He groans. “Go see what she wants. I’ll get these down, love.”
“Okay, baby.” I try to regroup. I free myself and head out of the stockroom.
“Ms. Campbell!” Grayson yells before I’m out the door. I turn around. “Shag you later?” He smiles.
“As always, Mr. James.” I return the expression. I’ve decided that we are a very cute couple!
“Hey, way to get out of baking today, you hermit!” I tease Stacey as I head into her room.
“Sorry, I’ve been on the phone with Ray. We need to talk.” She sighs.
“You know what, Stacey? I’m not doing this! I’m having a wonderful evening with my family, and I’m not going to ruin it by discussing Ray with you! You know what you can do, though? You can sit back and think about where your fucking loyalty lies! I have been your best friend for twenty-three years! If that means nothing to you anymore and your friendship with Ray is more important, then maybe you should go and recoup at his house! I’m done trying to figure you out, Stacey! I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but I’m done!” I yell like a crazy lady and storm out of her room, slamming the door.
“Sweetheart, what the hell is going on?” Grayson grabs me in the hall.
“I can’t do this anymore, Gray!” I yell at him without meaning to and start crying.
“What? Wait ... what did I do, sweetheart?” He grabs my arms and searches my eyes.
“Huh?” I look at him with complete confusion.
“What did I do?” He asks me again. What the hell is he talking about? “Becca, you said you couldn’t do this anymore. What did I do wrong, love?”
“Oh. No, baby, not you. I’m sorry.” I touch his face and kiss him. He visibly relaxes. “It’s Stacey. She avoids us all day, and then the moment she shows signs of life, she wants to talk to me about Ray!” I let my emotions win.
“Go out there with the others, love. I’m going to have a chat with your friend.” His words are calm, but there’s all kinds of flaring and twitching going on.
“No, I’ll handle this, Gray. You can’t take care of everything for me.” I bring his face back to mine.
“Yes I can, and I most certainly intend to, doll. So, unless you want to argue with me as well, I suggest you follow my orders.” He’s terse.
“Your orders?” I snap, but quietly. Women’s-Lib Sybecca is burning her bra in protest. All of the other Sybeccas sneak up behind her and hit her over the head with their rolling pins. She’s rendered unconscious.
“Yes! My orders!” he says again through gritted teeth. Cautionary Sybecca stands with the red ticker board. “Go now!” runs across it.
“Okay ... sir.” I quickly grasp his lips with mine before I follow his orders. He swats my ass as I leave. It’s not the playful type. It’s more the painful, full-of-promise type. I should’ve known it was coming. Ever since he read my books, whenever I call him sir it’s like a gateway drug for him. He’s gotta push the envelope. Hmm ... love the envelope-pushing around here!
GRAYSON
“Stacey, it’s Grayson. Are you decent?” I ask before I stroll in.
“Depends on your definition, gorgeous!” she replies. Always fucking flirting, this one!
“I’m coming in,” I state.
“Oh, Grayson, I wish you would, honey.”
Christ!
“Just what are you playing at, lady?” I lay right into her. She’s taken aback.
“What do you mean, Grayson?”
“Becca flew three thousand miles to be by your side! She spent countless hours at the hospital and hotel, never mind the weeks she spent away from Morgan! I want to know what you are playing at. You two have been best friends more than half of your lives, but I only see one of you fulfilling that role! Now, what say you?” I could choke her for the pain she has caused Becca.
Stacey is sitting upright in her bed in her pink robe and matching turban.
“I say, I guess I haven’t been a very good friend.” She looks down at her hands. “Becca’s always been the strong one, Gray. I’ve always been the flirty and fun one. That usually worked for me, until the guys I dated realized I was actually smarter than them. Then I was all wrong. No problem, I always had a backup—until Steve. Steve was the first guy who was fascinated by the whole package.”
I try waiting for her to reveal her big aha moment, but I’m not known for my patience.
“Stacey! What the hell does that have to do with anything I’ve just said?”
“I don’t know, Gray! I’m trying to figure it out myself!” she snaps back, sounding frustrated. “I guess I’m jealous. The only guy who appreciated the whole package no longer appreciates it! I come here and here’s Becca—sweet, doe-eyed Becca—with two incredible guys fighting over her like she’s Bridget Jones and this is her fucking diary! I just don’t get it! Becca and I are very similar in every way. Well, except for our looks, and the fact that I’m flirty and she’s not. But both of us are outgoing, funny, and smart. We’re so much alike it’s ridiculous, and yet half the fucking men around here have it bad for her! Why, because she’s the mysterious Becca Campbell? Well, mystery solved—there is no mystery! She’s just fucking oblivious, and all you fucking morons romanticize it into being mysterious! What a fucking joke!” she yells through her tears.
“Well, she is oblivious, I’ll give you that. But, Stace, maybe you should take this time for you. You were with Steve for so long. Maybe your needs and wants are different now. I bet if you take this time to just concentrate on yourself and where you are in life, the other stuff with fall into place. From what Becca’s told me—and even what you just said yourself—maybe you need to figure out who Stacey is without being on the arm of a gentleman. You know, the whole mystery of Becca is not just her being oblivious, it’s that she was not looking for any of this. She just wanted to raise her daughter right. She wanted to be a positive part of the community and to be a good person. She’s a challenge to men—that’s why we all want her. She doesn’t need us. We want her to need us.” I’m amazed this is all coming out of my mouth, because I haven’t put much thought into it. I just knew she was going to be mine.
“Everybody thought she would end up with Ray. He’s been in her life pretty steadily for the past five years. So how did you win her over so quickly, Gray?” She crosses her arms, waiting.
“Chemistry ... moth to flame ... love at first sight. Whatever you want to call it, we have it. And I’m selfish and persistent. I wanted her. I gave her no chance to think about it—that’s all.” I shrug.
“Speaking of selfish, Ray told me what happened today. Grayson, he really is beside himself for so many different reasons. I can’t believe he did what he did, but I can see why, as inexcusable as it is. He’s worried about Annie.” She grabs a tissue and dabs her eyes.
“Why is he worried about Annie?” I’m puzzled.
“Well, if he’s arrested for what he did, it will destroy her. He’s also worried that with his parents away, Annie will have to go to Child Protective Services. That’s why I wanted to talk to Becca to see if she would wait at least until after Christmas. He wants Annie to have a good Christmas and his parents will be back by then.” Hmm ... Becca and I haven’t even talked about what she is going to do, although I’d be very surprised if she pressed charges.
“I think that is something Ray and Becca should discuss together. Speaking of Ray, why were you trying to help him break us up?” I’m not leaving here without getting some old questions finally answered.
“I wanted Ray. I’ve always had a crush on him. So I pushed Becca toward you. Honestly, she made it easy—it was so obvious that she’s in love with you. Then I finally realized he just wanted her, so I thought I could win you over if I helped him break yo
u guys up. How am I doing by the way—winning yet?” She smirks. I pat her knee and smile. “I’m sorry, Grayson. I do feel terrible about it all.” Her chin quivers.
“Well, tomorrow’s a new day! Start over. Just be her friend. She needs you. Why don’t you come out and join us for carols, pizza, and ornaments?” I offer. She nods.
“Okay. I’ll be out in a bit.”
“All right, then, I’ll see you out there.” I get up and head out.
Becca, Morgan, and Annie are sitting in front of the Christmas tree I had some of the detail get.
“Hey, what do you girls think?” I ask cheerfully. I think they chose a magnificent tree! I turn to them, only to have the smile fall off my face. Becca’s expression is flat. Morgan looks like she’s on the verge of tears, and Annie’s more interested in playing with the zipper on her sweater. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong with it?” I look back to the tree.
“Nothing, Gray, it’s a beautiful tree.” Becca sighs.
“Then what is it?” I can’t help feeling annoyed.
“It’s not our tree, Daddy. We didn’t pick it out together. We always pick out our tree. It’s our tradition,” Morgan says through her tears.
“Oh,” is all I can say. “Well, we can go tomorrow and pick out a tree. We can donate this one, or we can have two.” I feel awful. I didn’t even think to ask what their traditions are. I’m so focused on trying not to be depressed about my parents, mainly my mother, that I haven’t even thought about what Becca may be feeling.
“Grayson, it’s a lovely tree and it will be fine.” Becca grabs my hand and squeezes. “Hey, Morgy, it’s okay. It’s a special tree because the people that are here to protect us picked it out. Maybe they do that at home, and since they can’t be there for Christmas, it brought them some joy. Remember, it’s not just our tree this year.”
No mystery here ... she’s absolutely wonderful! Morgan cheers up with a smile and hugs me.
“Sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“Next year will be different, little sweetheart. I promise.”
“Hey! Pizza’s here!” Aunt Hazel announces. Derek, Joshua, and Ryan carry in several pies each and bring them to the dining room. I grab Becca’s arm before she follows everybody in.
“Becca, I am sorry.” I pull her to me.
“It’s okay, baby. You’re doing and worrying about so much. Please don’t give it another thought. Hey, how did everything go in there?” She kisses me and glances toward Stacey’s room.
“She was a bit all over the place, really. But the gist of it is that she’s upset with where her life is at. And she’s a bit jealous of you. There is some merit there, but I don’t think it’s everything. Something’s off.” I shake my head. I just can’t put my finger on it.
“I definitely agree with you there. Did you get that info from Jake?”
“Hmm, no, I haven’t heard. Say, listen, sweetheart. She did mention Ray and what she wanted to talk to you about,” I say. Becca rolls her eyes and takes in a deep breath. “He’s worried you are going to press charges. With his parents away until Christmas, if you press charges and have him arrested, Annie will go with Child Protective Services until he posts bail. He’s hoping you’ll wait until after Christmas.” I rub the top of Becca’s arms.
“Uh, Gray, I haven’t even though that much about it yet.” Her eyes are wide and she has a trace of panic on her face. Panic? Why panic?
“Well, I told her that was a discussion for you and Ray to have,” I add.
“You did? That’s what you think?” She furrows her brow at me.
“Yes. Why, what did you think I was thinking?” I hold her at arm’s length.
“I ... I don’t know, Gray. I’m really not sure of how you feel about this whole thing.” She looks down.
“Well, I’m pissed about what he did. Yet I feel sorry for him. I’m actually quite confused regarding how I feel. It’s very strange, very unlike me. Becca, whatever you want to do, I’ll support you, sweetheart.” I pull her back to me.
“I just wish I could talk to him. Without him trying to touch me or kiss me.” She sighs.
“Becca, how do you feel?” I tilt her face up to mine.
“I’m mad as hell. And hurt. I get that I’ve led him on terribly over the years, but I’m confused. I just want to understand why he did that to me. It was really out of character. Does this sound weird? I feel like I shouldn’t be concerned with it, though. That I should just have him locked up and throw away the key.” I thumb away her tears.
“But you didn’t even think of pressing charges?” I ask gently. She shakes her head. “I think, sweetheart, that’s because it was Ray who did it, not some random bloke. Ray has had a big and lengthy investment in you and your well-being. Becca, I know he loves you very deeply. I knew that from the moment I met him. That’s why even though most arrows point to him, something’s not sitting right with me.” I suddenly feel as if we’re being watched. I glance up. “Stacey—come to join us now?” I ask, almost too loudly.
“Uh, yes, if that’s okay.” She seems very fidgety. Hmm. Something is really off with her, and I don’t like it.
“We’ll finish up our conversation later, sweetheart,” I whisper in Becca’s ear.
“Okay, baby.” She turns her head and kisses the corner of my mouth ... then my lips. She’s not interested in stopping. I know what she’s doing—and I’m always willing to play. Stacey watches us as we devour each other.
“Ugh! C’mon, you two!” Morgan yells. We laugh a little as we pull away.
“Oh, man, do I have an itch I need you to scratch,” Becca says breathlessly before she quickly lays another one on me.
“Oh, I’m itching to scratch it, love!” I smack her lovely arse before we head to the dining room. “Come, Stacey.” I hold my hand out to her.
“I’m okay.” She smiles and limps along.
They are quiet all through dinner, allowing only a glance or two toward each other. I wish I could fix this for them, that I could figure out what is going on with Stacey.
“Becca, can I stay for the weekend?” Annie asks quietly. Becca looks to me. I nod. I’m falling for Annie—she’s quite the girl.
“I’ll talk to your father and ask him,” she offers as she collects everyone’s plates.
Stacey looks at me, her eyes wide. I give her a quizzical look. She mouths, She’s calling him? I ignore her.
“Come, let’s all go to the lounge and sing some Christmas carols.” I get up and lead the parade in there while Becca brings the leftover pizza to the kitchen. “What shall we sing first?” I strum my fingers down the keys of the piano.
“How about something fun like ‘Dominick the Donkey’?” Stacey suggests. Annie cheers.
“Well, I know the jingle, but not all of the words.” I play around with the keys ‘til I get it right. Everyone starts singing except for Morgan and Aunt Hazel. I follow Morgan’s glance and see Becca. Her face distorts a bit, like she’s about to cry. She shakes her head as if she’s trying to push off whatever is bothering her and promptly turns to go back into the kitchen. “Scott, can you take over for a moment, please?” I ask. He’s one of the guys on our team—plays pretty well.
“Becca, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” I follow her into the kitchen.
“Oh, nothing. It’s silly, really.” She wipes her tears.
“No it’s not. Tell me, please.” I grab her hands.
“That song reminds me of my dad. He loved it. Loved to sing it. He would really make an ass out of himself.” She giggles, a bit lost in the memory, I think. “It’s such a silly song to get sad over. I do like to hear it, though, because it makes me feel close to him. What made you play that?” she asks, and I feel my concern turn toward anger.
“Somebody requested it.” I won’t dare give Stacey the satisfaction.
“Oh. Well, come on, maestro. There are many other songs I’d like to hear!” She pulls me back out. “Hey, Stace.” Becca gra
bs her hand. “Let’s sing. Gray, can you play ‘Merry Christmas with Love’?” She pulls out sheet music. I guess she had Melissa pick it up for her.
“Sure, baby.” I put it up in front of me. Becca walks around to the other side so she and Stacey are facing each other.
“Our usual?” Becca smiles.
“Okay, Becca.” Stacey seems unsure and emotional at the same time. I start playing. Becca sings the first verse, Stacey does the next. They take turns with the lines in the third verse and join together for the chorus. They sound lovely. They are having quite the moment with each other. I can see their connection again. They finish to a round of applause. After another hour or so, we’re all caroled out. The girls grab me to watch A Christmas Story.
“I should go call Ray,” Becca says with a sigh.
“Okay, love, then you’ll join us?” I rub her back. She nods and leans into my chest. “Take as long as you need. He can’t try to physically persuade you over the phone.” I kiss her hair.
“You’re right.” She plants a kiss on my chest and heads off to her office.
BECCA
I take several deep breaths before I dial the familiar number I’ve been dialing for five years.
“Hello?” Ray answers. I can sense his guard is up.
“Um, hi.” I swallow.
“Becca, is Annie okay?” His voice shakes, as if he’s nervous. I guess he thinks the only reason I’d call him myself is if something was wrong with her.
“She’s fine. She’s having a great time. She’d like to stay the whole weekend, if that’s okay with you.” I’m deafened by the silence on the other end. “McNeil, stop thinking so hard ... there’s smoke coming through the receiver over here.” I try to break the ice. “I’m not pressing charges against you.” That should do it! I hear a sigh of relief on his end.
“Not that I want you to, but why?” he asks. I can picture his furrowed brow on the other side.
Goodbye Secrets Page 16