‘And your niece?’ she asked tentatively.
He grimaced. ‘I haven’t got high hopes on that score.’
‘Well, you know what?’ she said brightly. ‘Kids grow up. One day she’s going to start asking questions about her father and when her mother doesn’t give her all the answers she’s going to come looking for you.’
‘I never thought of that.’ He looked at Lena, obviously impressed by her insight. ‘It does sound rather daunting though – dealing with a teenager’s search for self.’
‘Well,’ she suggested optimistically, ‘you have years to come up with something wise and profound to say. I wouldn’t start worrying about it yet.’
He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers with delicious presumption. ‘You’ve managed to find the silver lining again.’
‘It’s what I do.’
‘I know.’ His pace quickened. ‘Let’s have lunch on the beach . . . unless you already have plans. I mean I don’t expect you to –’
‘Dan, relax.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I’m here for you today. I’m not going anywhere.’
They went to Cottesloe, one of Perth’s most popular beaches. Here the coast was lined with popular cafes ranging in mood from swanky to casual. They decided on the latter but instead of eating in, they bought fish and chips and took the rug from the back of Dan’s car down to the waterfront. It was another beautiful day, perfect for a picnic. The ocean provided both view and music for their idyllic little date. Lena pushed her toes into the sand and wished it was under different circumstances. Waves crashed and foamed before her much like the rush and ebb of her own uncertainty.
Sharon was right. So was Robyn. She had to see Kevin and find out exactly which subjects she needed to do over to complete her degree. Maybe she could approach the uni about just sitting in on the classes. She could say she wanted a refresher now that she knew what skills were needed in the field. It was purely for her own benefit, after all. She would make Kevin tell her everything: if she was ever to put that chapter of her life to bed, she needed the whole truth. All the details – and a plan to fix things. Only then would she be ready to tell Dan.
‘What’s the matter?’ Dan queried her sudden silence as he polished off the last piece of fish.
‘Just thinking.’
‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘I’m desperate not to.’
She shook off her demons and smiled. ‘You’re right. What shall we talk about?’
They chatted about everything and nothing. It was the first time she got to learn mundane things about Dan. Things that weren’t groundbreaking or really all that important but made her feel all the more closer to him for knowing them. Like the fact that Dan hated chicken pies but loved pasta. Or when he lived in Perth he was a keen surfer but hadn’t been on his board in almost a year. And when he was little, he was in the Boy Scouts. She could just picture him in his little uniform, already honing his professional image. He and Mark had all the badges.
They talked about her too. She couldn’t remember what she told him, just his face and the intentness of his gaze. His attention was completely and utterly undivided. The knowledge was an aphrodisiac like no other.
But there was that line they’d drawn between them the day before. Neither of them dared cross it – each for their own preservation as much as the other’s. Lena tiptoed around it. Unable to pretend it wasn’t there. Conscious of its existence as every precious minute passed.
Just before it was time to go Dan said, ‘I have a flight to Karratha booked for tonight.’
‘Already?’
‘My assistant sorted it out yesterday. It’s crisis stations up there at the moment.’
‘It’s crisis stations down here too,’ she reminded him.
He looked away. ‘After the verdict, it might be just what I need. A safe distraction.’
She smiled sadly. At least she was a distraction, if a dangerous one. They returned to Perth. Dan’s family were already seated in their usual spots looking too anxious to be sidetracked by them this time. If fear had a smell, the air around them would have reeked of it.
The bailiff asked everyone to rise as the judge walked in. When he was seated, the lawyers and spectators sank nervously into their chairs.
Lena clutched Dan’s hand, giving and taking support in equal measure. The judge arranged the sleeves of his robes as he sat down with a languid insensitivity that made Lena want to throw her shoe at his head and yell, ‘Just get on with it.’
And then miraculously, he did.
‘In the matter of Angela Hullog and Oswalds Proprietary Limited, I will deliver an ex temporae judgement. I find the plaintiff’s case unfounded. I don’t believe their evidence makes out their cause of action of negligence against the defendant. Although the defendant had a clear duty of care to the deceased, it is not reasonably foreseeable that the deceased would have ignored the briefing provided to him by his manager and brother, Daniel Hullog, the safety video, the warning of the foreman of MacArthur Lumber Mill and the signs on the machine. These four evidentiary factors make any breach of the defendant’s duty of care too remote in the circumstances. The evidence that the deceased had a mental illness goes some way to explain his actions. However, in the first instance I find that the plaintiff cannot establish negligence on the part of the defendant whatever the reason Mr Hullog stepped into that machine. It was a risk that he assumed of his own accord. I will publish my full reasons for these findings in due course and they shall be delivered at a court date to be set approximately three months hence. I find in favour of the defendant. The costs of this action follow the event. The plaintiff, Angela Hullog, will bear them and they will be taxed if they cannot be agreed between the parties.’
There was a collective gasp from the front row of the gallery which the judge ignored.
He lifted his wooden hammer and tapped it on the desk. ‘Case closed.’
Lena was confused. That’s it? It’s over?
While she gaped in shock, the judge exited. As soon as the door closed behind him, pandemonium broke out in the courtroom. Dan’s mother started crying and ranting hysterically. Angela Hullog stood up and turned around as though she were about to yell abuse at Dan but then her eyes rolled back into her head and she fainted. Dan’s father, who spared a second to shoot a murderous look at Dan before acting, couldn’t seem to calm his wife or shake his daughter-in-law awake.
‘Call an ambulance!’ he told the bailiff at the same time Dan’s stepmother yelled, ‘You get that judge back in here right now!’
The bailiff called security instead and Dan and Lena thought this was a good time to leave. They exited the courtroom and arrived in the street breathless. Neither of them had spoken one word to the other about the verdict yet. Lena didn’t know about Dan but she was still trying to digest the fact that the law believed his brother had committed suicide.
‘Dan –’
‘Lena, don’t say anything. What’s left to say? It’s finished.’ His face was white, his lips a little blue around the edges. ‘I’ve come to realise that I’ve been expecting this verdict to answer all my questions but really . . .’ He looked at Lena sadly. ‘Nothing’s changed. I’ll always feel partially responsible for my brother’s death whether it was suicide or not. It’s just something I need to live with.’
Lena wanted to grab hold of him and offer to share his burden – to take part of it on her own shoulders – but he was retreating inside himself again. She could see it in his eyes. Feel it in the slackened grip he had on her hand.
‘Dan, you can’t fly back tonight.’
‘It’s for the best.’
She knew that tone. It was the curse of their relationship – the roadblock that got her every time. He was going back to Karratha and there was nothing she could do to stop him.
Dan lowered his head to ki
ss her softly on the cheek: a feather-touch she barely felt. ‘Try to forget about this. Enjoy the rest of your R and R and I’ll see you . . . when I can. When you get back to Cape Lambert. Maybe then we can talk about something more . . . cheerful.’
She knew what he was asking her and agreed.
‘Yes, definitely.’
In a moment or two he was gone and she was left standing in the street wondering if she’d dreamed it all.
In a way it was a blessing that Dan returned to the Pilbara because Lena would not have been able to spend the next day with him. It was now imperative that she see Kevin and sort out her past so she could start concentrating on her future. She told no one of her intentions, not even Robyn. She didn’t want her best friend’s opinion yet in case it made her nervous or uncertain. Instead, she rose early the next morning, showered and dressed. She rang the university and asked about Kevin’s schedule. After managing to extract his timetable from a receptionist, she worked out that he was most likely to be in his office between two and four. With several hours to kill, she spent the morning cleaning her apartment and trying not to think too deeply. In the early afternoon she left for UWA.
Her intention was to surprise Kevin – and she did. He opened the door to her knock and started at the sight of her.
‘Lena?’
‘Hi, Kevin. Can I come in?’
‘Of course.’ He stepped back to give her room. While he closed the door behind them she examined his face. It had been just under a year since she’d last seen him, so nothing much of his physical appearance had changed. But in his stagnation, she could see how much she had.
The smart cut of his coat, she knew, hid droopy rather than strong shoulders. His age, a factor that used to make him seem so wise and sophisticated, had lost its appeal. She realised that while he still had seventeen years on her, he was younger than some of the men she managed on site. And when she thought about it carefully, his worldly wisdom probably didn’t extend much beyond that one over-talked trip to Europe and a love of SBS. His face was still handsome; the silver-framed brown eyes had a certain attraction. But she couldn’t help but contrast it to Dan’s kind selflessness and undoubtedly masculine allure.
Kevin walked around to the other side of his desk and said, ‘You’re the last person I thought I’d see today. Any day, really.’
‘Am I interrupting something important?’
‘No.’ His smile was nonchalant. ‘I’m just marking a few assignments.’
‘Funny, that’s exactly what I came to talk to you about.’
‘Oh?’ His eyes dilated slightly before he cleared his throat and indicated the chair in front of him. ‘Please sit down.’
She did as he asked, trying not to think about the times she’d sat in this chair with a glass of wine and some Chinese takeaway.
‘It’s been a long time,’ he said, putting a voice to her nostalgia. ‘How have you been?’
She decided not to waste any more of her life and cut straight to the chase. ‘Unsettled, actually.’
He also sat down, locking his fingers together on the desk in front of him. ‘I assume this has to do with me.’
She licked her lips. ‘I need to know how much you helped me pass the two subjects you taught me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Was it my assignments? Did you give me a few extra marks there? Or was it my exams?’ She sat forwards. ‘Perhaps you just added twenty per cent to the whole grade at the end of the semester?’ Unable to sit any longer, she got up out of her chair, hands wringing in front of her as she began to pace. ‘Was it both subjects or just one? It had to be Structural Analysis, right? I was always hopeless at matrices.’ She spun around to face him, dropping her hands resolutely to her side as she waited for his response.
He said nothing.
‘Kevin, I need to know. Not knowing has been driving me insane this past year. I’m constantly second-guessing myself and my work. Can’t you see how important this is to me?’
‘Lena, I’m sorry –’
Panic struck her between the eyes and she resorted to threats. ‘Kevin,’ she pinched her thumb and forefinger, ‘I am this close to going to the dean and owning up. If you don’t let me see the work you tampered with, I will. Do you really want to lose your job over this?’
‘No, of course not.’ He paused. ‘Thing is,’ he licked his lips, his gaze centring on his laced fingers rather than her face, ‘I lied to you.’
Lena stared at him. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘It wasn’t true.’ His voice was soft with shame. ‘You passed both subjects fair and square. I didn’t do anything to your marks.’
She grabbed hold of the back of her chair to steady herself, pushing words through her teeth. ‘So why did you tell me you did?’
He shut his eyes, still not lifting his chin. She stared at him, unable to believe she had been attracted to such a vindictive person.
‘It was a knee-jerk reaction to the situation. I was hurting and I wanted to hurt you back just as much. I’m not proud of what I did. But at the time, I just lost control.’
He finally opened his eyes and Lena sank heavily into the chair in front of him as he continued. ‘For you, I was an experiment – an adventure to spice up your uni life. But for me . . . I really fell for you, Lena. I loved you. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I still have some feelings for you –’
‘If you cared about me at all, you would have told me sooner that you’d lied,’ she accused.
He winced. ‘I didn’t think it would affect you like this. The day after you dumped me I never saw you again. How was I supposed to know that our final meeting was any more than a blip on your radar? After all, you’d just finished telling me you’d outgrown me.’
‘Kevin,’ she tried to muster some patience, ‘I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. But you were never a blip on my radar: our relationship definitely meant something to me. You were not an experiment. But I knew when it was over; and I was just trying to be honest with you. It’s no excuse for what you did.’
‘I know.’
His helpless, almost shameful, admission made her rage sizzle out, leaving her with a sense of deflation. ‘What’s done is done,’ she said on a sigh and then stood up.
He stood up too. ‘Where are you going? Can I buy you a coffee? Perhaps we can go downstairs and talk about this in a more civilised environment.’
She studied his countenance, which radiated both concern and eagerness, and realised for perhaps the first time that maybe she could have been more sensitive to what he might be feeling. She had been so focused on sorting herself out at the time that she hadn’t paused to consider the possible intensity of his reaction in any great detail.
Her shoulders relaxed. ‘Thank you, Kevin. But I think it would be best if we just left it there.’
‘Are you seeing anyone?’ he asked tentatively.
Her smile froze as she held out her hand and he took it in both of his. Clearing her throat she admitted unsteadily, ‘Yes, actually. I am.’
‘I see.’
‘Goodbye, Kevin.’
He dropped her hand. ‘Goodbye, Lena. Good luck.’
Despite her uncertainty about the reception she would receive, Lena was desperate to hop on a plane back to Karratha. Her meeting with Kevin had totally unburdened her. She felt like a hot air balloon that had just offloaded six sandbags and was about to float away. Robyn was ecstatic when she heard the news and Lena couldn’t wait to tell Sharon about it.
Harry picked her up from the airport, all smiles and bursting with news. She was pleased to see him but couldn’t help wondering where Sharon was. Didn’t she care that she’d arrived?
‘The board game has taken off big-time,’ Harry announced. ‘It’s making our job really easy.’
‘Rea
lly?’ She focused on Harry’s enthusiastic smile.
‘You better believe it. It’s been great! The only person who’s running behind is Fish and by one per cent. One per cent!’
‘We’re running on time?’
He nodded vigorously.
She shook her head in awe. ‘Unbelievable.’
‘And it’s all thanks to you.’
‘Hardly.’ Her head snapped around to study his profile. ‘It was a group effort.’
‘Your idea, Lena. Your idea.’
‘It wasn’t really an idea. More like a sort of managing concept.’
‘That’s an idea. A really good one. Everybody thinks so.’
‘Everybody?’ she whispered. ‘Who’s everybody?’
Harry shrugged. ‘Just . . . everybody.’
Lena raised her eyebrows. ‘But I thought I was in the doghouse because of you know . . . the whole Bulldog thing.’
‘Oh.’ Harry cocked his head to one side. ‘That’s old news. I mean, it wasn’t even true. You know Mike. Had it in for you from the start, and –’
‘What, so everyone’s just forgiven and forgotten?’
Lena stared out the windscreen, unable to take in the scenery with his words flashing incredulously across her brain.
‘Well, Bulldog brought in this arbitrator. And the supervisors and the managers all went on this, like, debate evening. We hashed out a lot of stuff. Not just about you and Bulldog but other stuff, stuff that’s been painful for ages.’
‘What do you mean, about me and Bulldog?’
‘Well, Bulldog explained that it was a complete misunderstanding founded on rumours. Mike even got up and said he’d made a mistake.’
Her throat constricted. ‘Mike said that?’
‘Yeah.’ Harry nodded merrily, seemingly unaware of her inner turmoil. ‘Looks like he must have finally got a case of the guilts and admitted the truth.’
Or Bulldog got stuck into him, blackmailed him or worse.
Lena choked as she tried to imagine what Dan had done to get Mike to publicly confess he was wrong. It had to have been drastic to achieve such a feat.
The Girl in Steel-Capped Boots Page 31