by Alexie Aaron
“Her shrink says it’s going to take time. Cin is pushing it, I know, but she thinks…”
“What do I think, Harry?” I asked, sitting up. I accepted Tom’s handkerchief and wiped my eyes. “Please, tell Tom and me what I think.”
“Cin, you don’t have to be rude,” Harry complained.
I closed my eyes and steadied my nerves. “I’m sorry, Harry, but I’m here. I hate people talking about me like I’m not here.”
“You need to acknowledge that you’re doing this all to save Dave. Where was Dave yesterday and today?” Harry asked me.
I bet Tom hadn’t imagined that he would be refereeing a fight between me and Harry in the conjugal condo.
“Hold on, you two. Cin, sorry, we shouldn’t have been discussing your situation in front of you. Harry, Cin’s just woken up from a hell of a nightmare. We both heard her. We need to work on this together. I’ll wait to warn Eldora until I hear how the investigation is going. Cin, you need to let me know. Harry, you need to give her room. She’s broken, and we need to help fix her.”
I forgave him for talking about me again. I wanted to hold him, but I knew it would make Harry uncomfortable. I simply nodded.
We worked on the list for a while. Harry said he needed to make some private calls. He told me he was going to drive around and would pick me up in an hour. He told Tom and me, “no hanky-panky” before he left.
The door shut, and Tom and I stood there looking at each other. Posh prison life had made him thinner. His golf tan had faded, but his blue eyes still sparkled. The life as a band manager had kept him younger than his sixty-eight years.
“If I may be so bold, this old man wants you. So please keep your distance,” he said.
“I’m flattered that you would want a mess like me, Tom,” I said, looking at my feet, and then I looked at him. Physically, I wanted to be loved right now. It would be my choice. I looked at him and said, “I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that I want you too. But I don’t know my motivation. I just want to be loved by someone who isn’t afraid. I need to know that I can put Kyle, and maybe Sidney, behind me. They never loved me. Kyle was obsessed with the vision of something that wasn’t there. Sidney had a bucket list to complete. They both hurt me. One killed me.”
Tom looked at me. The tension was building. I knew it wasn’t him who was going to make the first move.
It was me. I pulled off my sweater and walked to Tom who tenderly kissed me. I tear up still thinking of the way I was cherished in his arms. Father Michael would have a fit knowing the commandments I broke in that place. But I knew when I walked in that door that I was going to make love to Tom, and that it didn’t matter the age difference or the motivation on either side. I just wanted to be made love to by this man.
He took me with experience and care. He was sensitive of the violence I had gone through. He let me guide him when I was ready. I can’t explain it. I’m not sure I should. But this simple act of love healed me. It filled me with the knowledge that I was loveable. I was no longer damaged goods. In Tom’s mind, I was perfect. I needed that. I needed to be perfect. His kisses didn’t suffocate. His hands didn’t hurt me. His love-making brought me joy that I’m still reeling from. We didn’t talk afterwards. He just thanked me as if I had given him a precious gift.
I got up to use the restroom. I looked in the mirror and saw the woman I remembered looking back at me, but she was different. Confident but tender. Tom gave me so much in those few minutes. I hoped that somehow I gave him something too.
I left the bathroom, walked over, and kissed him gently. He still lay on the bed with a lazy look of satisfaction on his face. I didn’t promise him anything, and he was in no place to promise me. It was just a moment of healing and love between two people.
I walked out of the conjugal condo and did my best to compartmentalize my feelings. I stood there smiling as Harry drove up. He had found a fast food joint, and we ate hamburgers as he drove us home.
“When is the doctor going to clear you to drive, Cin?” he asked.
“As of yesterday, I can drive, Harry.”
“Why have you been letting me drive your car?”
“Because I like you, Harry. You don’t have to drive if you don’t want to,” I said.
“I like driving you around.”
“I would put on some music, but I’m avoiding a certain song, and I know it’s in the mix,” I confessed.
“We don’t need music. Tell me what Tom and you talked about while I was gone?”
“Me mostly. A little about him but mostly me,” I said honestly. “He’s a nice guy. I feel bad we got him incarcerated.”
“Actually, that was Dave,” Harry pointed out.
“Boo Dave,” I said mischievously.
“So what do we do now?” he asked.
“We do what we do best. We investigate, we get into trouble, and we solve the case.”
“How much do we tell Tony and Dave?” Harry asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “They’re just donut-sucking imbeciles. But if we’re pinned in a corner, we may have to throw them a bone.”
“Cin, I know we’re kind of low on funds, but I would like you to buy a new dress.”
“Why, Harry?”
“I would like to take you to the opera.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. I have tickets for the opening night of Carmen. Dave’s soprano has the lead role. Pello is playing José, and guess who is doing the costumes?”
“Preston. But, Harry, how did you get tickets?”
“Marco D’Amore sent them over. He wanted to make amends for his part in angering Kyle, or that’s the card he is playing. We will be sitting with him in his box. Sally will be my date. You’re Marcos’s.”
“Harry, I can’t,” I said, panicked.
“You can and you will,” he insisted. “I don’t know what went on between you and Tom after I left, but the woman that walked out of that prison is going to use Marco for all he’s worth. We are going to show the opera society that not even death is going to stop you.”
“That is quite a speech,” I said.
“I practiced it in front of Sally. She added the death part.”
“I’m beginning to really like Sally. But, Harry, Dave’s going to know. She’s his assistant.”
“I know she has crossed loyalties, but I’m going to use that to our advantage.”
“Harry, it’s not kind to use people. Marco, no problem, but Sally is sweet and…”
“In on it. She came up with the plan.”
“Tell me, you two aren’t trying to get Dave and I back together?”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t. I don’t want to date him anymore. I don’t want to be tied down to anyone. I don’t want to have to listen to anyone because they are sharing a bed with me. I’m tired of it all. Just because he left his wife for me doesn’t mean I have to be his girlfriend. Hell, I’ve been killed for less.”
Harry pulled the car over so he could concentrate on my face.
I spoke, “It happened. It’s horrible. Dave finding me that way has royally fucked him up. He’ll never be able to let go of the image of Kyle pinned on top of me or the suspicion that I may have encouraged him. Which I didn’t. Marco, yes, but Kyle, never. I’m hoping to be able to work with him when we have to, but I’ll never take him to my bed again.”
“Don’t say never. Let’s say you don’t intend to. Hey, I know you get lonely. You screwed Tom, didn’t you?”
“That’s private.”
“You did. You little minx,” he teased.
“I needed to get past the violence. I needed to become whole again. I had hoped Dave would take me there, but, well, I couldn’t even get ice cream out of the dude. How the hell was I going to get sex?”
“Tom was good to you. I can tell.”
“Yes. You know, us having this conversation is kind of creepy.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t adopt me. We can just have power of
attorney or something like that.”
“Harry, you’ve grown up.”
“Almost losing you did that, Cin. Now let’s go to Palm Beach Gardens. Sally says there is a designer who knows how to flatter a woman’s body there.”
“We can’t afford that.”
“I have a feeling that the publicity you’ll give the designer will get you that dress for free.”
“Did you already arrange this?”
“Yes. I had faith that you were going to pull out of this, if not today, soon.”
“Well, lead on, Harry. I put myself in your capable hands. Just try not to get me killed.”
Bella
Sally met us at the designer’s. She had lived in south Florida all her life. If she didn’t know something or someone, you could bet one of her relatives did. Her parents had brought up a bright young woman unafraid of convention. And for some strange reason, she really liked me. That was rare, especially in women. Probably Harry’s influence.
An up-and-coming Celia Cabral stood looking at me in my underwear. She was a voluptuous woman in her thirties. Her dark South American looks fit in with her zest for design and I, assumed, life. “Right now, you’re a little thin in these areas: you’ve lost the roundness of your butt, and your hips are boney. But I believe we will make the best of your tiny waist and flat stomach.” She didn’t ask about the scars. She knew. Most of Palm Beach knew that I had been an unwitting part of a Kyle Martel shish kabob. “I know you’re going to cause a stir. We are going to show off those legs and breasts.”
She chose from her collection a deep plunge, front and back, mid-thigh, Chinese print dress in deep apricot, which had enough ease in the hips that when I sat down, I actually had material covering my bottom. She knew I would be in a box seat. “Cross your legs. Yes, beautiful. Now, we are going to go with a simple shoe. Your escort is tall, but not when you’re wearing a four-inch heel. Consider him your accessory. Most women don’t realize, when they dwarf their dates, they take away from the look. Your hair up, flat to the sides, and trailing down your bare back. You will be cold. Take his jacket at some point in the evening. It will send a message to all that, perhaps, he is your lover. Dangly earrings, no necklace. Maybe darken this freckle.” She reached inside and pointed out the freckle.
“I know you’re older, but no bra. Tiny panties or none at all. It must look like you’re either fresh from the bed or headed there.” She had me walk out and watched Harry’s and Sally’s faces.
“Perfect,” Sally said.
“Cin, your makeup… Heavy line drawing it out. And deep apricot lipstick. Pale makeup. Brush bronzer around your breasts to bring out the ripe curve here and here.”
I wondered how Harry was handling Celia’s tutorial on breast shading.
She picked up my hands and angled her head. “Short apricot nails to go with the muscular hands. A bracelet. Expensive, colored diamonds. Rent it if you have to. And no tape. If your nipple peaks out, so what. You are selling a sexy confidant woman, one that will let nothing stand in her way. I like this,” she said. She left the three of us to find something to suit Sally’s petite frame.
“You know Marco is going to jump you,” Harry said.
“I would be disappointed if he didn’t try.”
“So you’re alright with this?” he asked.
“It’s time to step it up. If we want to be respected as investigators, we need to solve this big case. We need to do it before the police do. Sorry, Sally, no offense intended.”
“Oh, Cin, you’re so exciting to be around. To see you bounce back from being a victim is a testament to your courage.”
“No, it’s a testament to Harry and his belief in me.”
“It didn’t hurt that she just got laid,” Harry said.
“Harry!” I admonished. “Sally, I would appreciate if that didn’t go any further.”
“If you’re talking Buslowski, I’m not bringing it up. He’s in a pisser of a mood as it is. He knows he messed up.”
“Don’t be hard on him. Most men can’t put this kind of thing behind them. Remember, he was there for the 3D showing,” I said. I walked back in to change into my street clothes. I sat with Harry while Sally went through her transformation. Her beautiful black skin and short hair were enhanced by a vibrant, jewel-toned, cap-sleeved mini dress.”
She had told me that she would be packing a pistol. Harry would not. He was still working on getting his conceal and carry permit. I prayed that piece of paper would be slowed down by administrative indifference.
My phone rang. The caller ID said Marco D’Amore. I stepped outside to talk to him in private.
“Bella, I understand you have agreed to honor me by being my date tomorrow night.”
“It was kind of you to offer.”
“Nonsense. I believe we had our wires crossed the other night.”
“Let’s start again, Marco. I find you fascinating, and I’m very happy you called.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m about to go find a bracelet for my new dress. My designer insists. I imagine I will be shopping for hours yet. And you, what are you doing right now?”
“Ah, bella, thinking of you of course.”
I laughed and thought, smooth move.
“Can I be so bold as to bring you a small token of my esteem?”
“Depends on the strings attached,” I said, worried.
“Friendship. Give me your designer’s number, and between us, I will take the bracelet buying chore away from you. Go home and rest up. Tomorrow night, you will need your energy, bella. I intend to seduce you.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” I said, and I think I was.
~
Harry left to pick up Sally. He looked so handsome in his tux. I knew he and Sally would make a beautiful couple. I waited nervously in the living room for Marco to pick me up. I couldn’t help but remember the night Sidney and Gareth showed up, before Dave’s and my first real date, to kidnap me. I was losing my nerve. “Come on, Cin,” I scolded myself. “Think of what a pleasure it was to have this man at your feet.”
Carmen came to mind. She would not let an experienced womanizer like Marco, the Don Giovanni of south Florida, intimidate her. She would have him at her feet much like I did in Marco’s and my first encounter. Tonight, I would draw from the Spanish gypsy. Tonight, I would become Carmen.
The doorbell rang, and there, outlined in the glass door, was Marco D’Amore. He was a handsome, dark-haired, dark-eyed Italian. His skin was smooth and his body fit. Marco wore a beautiful, expensive, dark suit with hints of apricot in the weave. I wondered if he already had it in his closet or if his secretaries frantically called the tailors to find something that would so beautifully match my outfit.
I opened the door and invited him in. I offered him a drink, and he declined.
“Bella, you look wonderful.” He walked up and kissed me, not worried at all about getting lipstick on his full soft lips. His hand slipped around my waist and into the back of the dress. “You feel wonderful too, yes. I can feel the heat, Bella.”
Oh wow. I was in trouble. My body didn’t want to go to the opera. It wanted Marco right there on the floor. I managed, “You bring on the heat, Marco. We’re going to be late if you continue.”
He smiled. “Choices. Let’s go to the opera, and later a dinner, and perhaps if the mood strikes us, you’ll come home with me.”
“Won’t your wife mind, or are you sharing me tonight?” I can’t believe I said that. I had rehearsed it if ever I was flirted with by a married man, and tonight I used it. I stared intently at the man.
I could tell that I shocked him. Good. It was good to have him second-guessing what he was getting into. Cin: one.
“She is in Roma. We have an arrangement. Perhaps, if you want, I could make a call…”
“No, I don’t want to share you,” I said. Phew! Got out of that one. But well played Marco. Cin: one, Marco: one.
“Here is my gift to you, Bel
la.” He handed me a square, flat box. I opened it, and inside was a bracelet with alternating yellow and brown diamonds.
“Marco, it’s beautiful.”
He took the bracelet and put it on my wrist. “Now I want something from you.”
Okay, I guess we aren’t going to the opera, I thought. “Anything,” I said. I knew I meant it.
He reached under my dress and slid down my panties. I stepped out of them. He put them in his pocket. “You can have them back later.”
Well, it was going to be interesting getting out of the car without them. I didn’t worry about the line of the dress since Celia had suggested I do without. My mother would be shocked and so would Bernice. I’m not even going to put my mind to what Noelle would say about all of this. I leaned in and kissed the man. All those women were soon forgotten.
He pulled up to the opera house, and the valet opened my door. I was gracefully extracted and handed over to Marco. There was a blinding array of flashes. Someone gasped. “She returns!”
I took a deep breath and let Carmen take over. Gone was clumsy Cin; Bella walked arrogantly next to Marco D’Amore.
Marco guided me through the throng and up to the box where Harry and Sally were already settled. I greeted Sally with a hug and nodded to Harry before I sat down next to Marco.
I saw Dave there. He was sitting with a woman I didn’t recognize. He was looking around. I timed his scan of the box seats and made sure that I wasn’t looking at him when he settled on the patron’s box. I looked over at the stage.
“You are quiet, Bella,” Marco leaned in and whispered.
“I’ve never been up here. I’m taking it all in.”
“Your lover is here,” he warned, squeezing my hand.
“He is no longer my lover, Marco. Does this disappoint you? Did you want so much to take me away from someone?” I said quietly.
“No, I knew I had taken you away the moment we spoke at the gala. It’s the heat. It doesn’t lie.”