by Susan Lewis
Feeling a desperate need to lie down, or at least to get away from her daughter, Sabrina said, ‘I think we should all try to forget everything that’s been said in the last few minutes and carry on as we were before.’
She’d got as far as the door when Annabelle said, ‘Does that mean you’re going to make an appointment for me or not?’
‘If that’s what you want,’ Sabrina answered, keeping her back turned, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow,’ and before either of them could say anything else to stop her she left the room.
‘Wouldn’t you love us to have a baby together?’ she murmured, running a hand over Craig’s face as she gazed sleepily into his eyes.
He smiled. ‘You have the craziest ideas,’ he told her.
‘It would be so good-looking,’ she said. ‘And intelligent, and witty and sporty …’
‘… and unbelievably sexy, if it’s like its mother,’ he interrupted, touching his lips to hers.
‘If we were free to have children together,’ she said, after they’d kissed for a long and deliciously sensuous time, ‘would you want them with me?’
‘Of course,’ he murmured, and pulling her closer still, he kissed her again – and then he made love to her with all the tenderness of a man whose only thought was to create a perfect child with the woman he loved.
From the moment she’d collected Nat from Jolyon’s that morning, Alicia had sensed a change in him. Though he was obviously anxious about starting a new school next week, and still bound up in the horrible prospect of a committal looming only a week later, with her mother’s instinct she’d known right away that there was more. He wasn’t only quiet and withdrawn now, there was an air about him that made him seem even more strained and fragile than before, as though his whole body was cracking with the effort to hold on to his emotions. She was almost afraid to touch him in case he broke down, and yet in her heart she knew it was what he needed to do. The pressure on him was enormous now, and whether he was trying to prove himself a man by holding it all in, or if he was too afraid to let go for fear of his entire world falling apart, she had no idea, but suspected it was both.
Throughout the day on Saturday he kept mainly to his room, while Alicia and Darcie went to Bath to buy all kinds of stationery and the requisite plain black shoes that couldn’t be ordered from the school shop. Being in the sixth form Nat wouldn’t have to wear a uniform, but there was still a long list of items he needed, sports gear, new shirts and trousers, a new holdall and coat. However, he showed no interest in coming to choose them himself, which wasn’t like the normally image-conscious Nat at all. He was cool about leaving it to his mother and Darcie, he said, as though they were going to a supermarket to choose something for supper.
To Alicia’s relief, when she and Darcie returned from their shopping trip just after six, Nat was in the kitchen making himself cheese on toast, and when Darcie began showing him what they’d picked out for him he was kind enough to tell her she had great taste. Darcie glowed, and after hugging him with all her sisterly might, she cut herself two slices of bread and stuck them under the grill.
‘I thought you two were having fish and chips tonight,’ Alicia commented, as she stuffed all the credit-card receipts in a drawer and prayed they’d have managed to pay themselves by the next time she looked.
‘We are,’ Darcie confirmed, ‘but I’m starving now, so I can’t wait that long.’
Alicia glanced at Nat who pulled one of his comical faces, but there wasn’t the usual light in his eyes. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind me going out?’ she said, aiming the question at Darcie, but meaning it more for Nat.
‘Of course not,’ Darcie answered, breaking a corner off Nat’s cheese on toast and scoffing it.
‘What are you going to do with yourselves?’ Alicia asked.
Darcie shrugged and looked at Nat. ‘Watch a movie, hang out, I don’t know,’ she replied.
‘Is Simon coming over?’ Alicia said to Nat.
‘No, he’s going to some party in Shepton.’
Still trying to keep it casual, she said, ‘If you want to go, I don’t mind cancelling this evening and staying with Darcie.’
‘You can’t do that!’ Darcie protested.
‘It’s fine, I’m cool hanging out with Squirrel,’ Nat told her.
‘You’ve been looking forward to tonight,’ Darcie reminded her, ‘and you can’t let Cameron down now. That would be mean – and rude.’
‘Is he leaving Jasper with us?’ Nat asked.
‘I think so.’
‘Great, we can take him for a walk before it gets dark.’
Knowing she didn’t have to remind him about his limits, or his curfew, she dropped a kiss on his head, and went off upstairs to put the new clothes away. Then she’d really have to get her skates on if she was going to be ready by the time Cameron came to pick her up.
An hour later, hearing Cameron arriving with Jasper, she slipped on her silver slingback shoes, applied a few quick dabs of Hermès Faubourg Vingt-Quatre, and stood back to survey herself in the mirror. The instant she saw her reflection, a feeling of resistance tugged at her. This was the first time in months that she’d dressed up to go out, and seeing herself looking so elegant in the figure-hugging grey metallic dress with its sparkly chain straps and low-cut back that she’d last worn to a charity banquet with Craig, was unsettling her badly. For a fleeting moment she almost gave in to the urge to strip it off again, but she was rescued by a spark of common sense reminding her that there was nothing to be afraid of. It was only a party, and it wasn’t as if she’d never been to one without Craig before, so this wasn’t the first time…
Hearing a knock on the door, she spun round and called for whoever it was to come in.
‘It’s me,’ Nat said, putting his head round. ‘Cameron’s downstairs.’
‘Yes, I heard him arrive. I’m ready now. So,’ she said, giving him a twirl, ‘will I do?’
‘You look great,’ he assured her. ‘Your hair suits you up. Are those the earrings you had for Christmas last year?’
Touching the small diamond drops, she felt a flush of colour in her cheeks as she nodded. He knew they were a gift from Craig, and she couldn’t help wondering how he was feeling about her wearing them tonight.
‘Come on, or you’re going to be late,’ he said, and turning away he went back out to the landing.
Grabbing her purse, she checked she had everything she needed inside, and after coating her lips in a soft pink shimmer she picked up her wrap and followed him downstairs.
‘Has anyone seen my phone?’ she said, to cover her embarrassment as she walked into the kitchen.
‘It’s here,’ Nat said, unplugging it from the charger.
‘Mum, you look ay-mazing,’ Darcie cooed.
‘Jasper, no!’ Cameron cried, grabbing the dog as he came bowling in from outside.
Jasper’s eyes were gleaming as he regarded Alicia, his tail wagging so eagerly that Darcie gave him a shove as it thumped her legs.
Feeling Cameron’s eyes on her too, Alicia quickly dropped the mobile in her bag. ‘OK, I’ll leave my phone on in case you need to get hold of me,’ she said. ‘The Friary should be open by now, so if…’
‘Mum, will you just go,’ Darcie told her.
‘Of course. So you’ll be all right?’ she asked, needing to be sure.
Darcie looked at Cameron and rolled her eyes.
Apparently amused, Cameron said, ‘I can’t promise to have her home by midnight, but I’ll try.’
‘Do it,’ Darcie told him seriously, ‘because honestly, you won’t want to see what she turns into at the strike of twelve.’
With a cry of laughter, Cameron handed Jasper’s lead to Nat, and taking a scowling Alicia by the elbow he steered her towards the front door.
‘Your carriage awaits,’ he told her as they stepped outside, ‘and by the way, you look stunning.’
The Roswells’ end-of-summer party was one of the county’s major events. Everyon
e who was anyone was invited, from the landed and titled, to political high-flyers and A-list celebrities, to the very rich and stupendously well connected. Robert always made the list thanks to his frequent hobnobbing with presidents and prime ministers, and as his wife Sabrina was naturally expected to come along too. In fact, no amount of wild horses – or wayward daughters – could have kept Sabrina away tonight, because being present at this event was absolutely vital to a couple’s standing in the county. And for her and Robert to have the right standing was of paramount importance to Sabrina.
Though it had rained on and off throughout the day, now, as the two hundred or more glittering guests mingled about the stately mansion’s superb long gallery, the south wall of French doors was thrown open to allow access on to the terrace for an excellent view of the gardens and sunset.
As Sabrina wandered through she was chattering away gaily with Archie Roswell’s sister, Camilla, whose husband was being tipped as the next British Ambassador to China, a position of immense significance in today’s new world. At the mermaid fountain, which had recently been restored at great expense, they paused to admire the sinuous stone sirens with feathery jets spurting from their upturned mouths, before moving on to join Felicity and Bodwin Singer-Smythe. The Singer-Smythes were closely related to one of the country’s most prominent dukes, and were known to be worth somewhere in the region of half a billion.
With the conversation flowing as pleasingly as the champagne, Sabrina looked around for Robert and smiled approvingly as she spotted him strolling through the parterre with Archie Roswell, apparently engrossed in whatever Archie was saying. It was a pity he had to make a call to the States at nine thirty, just as everyone was sitting down in the great hall for dinner, but she knew he’d handle this so discreetly that he’d be back before anyone noticed he’d gone. He really was the most perfect husband, she decided with a shaky little sigh, loyal, supportive, attentive and above all tolerant of her silly aberrations.
Since the awful scene with Annabelle on Thursday he hadn’t embarrassed her once by mentioning it again, other than to agree that it should, indeed, be a closed book. He’d then promptly offered to drive Annabelle to London himself for her little procedure, and to Sabrina’s surprise and confusion Annabelle had accepted. As Annabelle’s mother it should be her place to take her, and she was more than willing, but Annabelle’s mind was made up, she wanted Robert to hold her hand. So they were going as soon as he returned from Washington the week after next. By then Annabelle would have had a little time to settle back into school before taking a day off ‘to consult a specialist about a tiny internal problem’, Sabrina would tell the house mistress.
On second thoughts, she decided now as she laughed and chatted on with the county elite, she might say it was something to do with the brain or back, because she didn’t want anyone even suspecting it might be what it actually was, or equally as bad, an STD.
‘Sabrina, darling, you’re looking absolutely scrumptious,’ Emily Roswell barked in her manly voice as she swept towards Sabrina’s little group. ‘That colour is a delight on you. Personally I look like a corpse in cream, but with that wonderfully exotic dark colouring of yours, you can carry it off like no one else.’
Treating Emily to one of her most charming smiles, Sabrina said, ‘Thank you. It was a gift from Robert while we were in France. Actually, if I’m going to be strictly accurate, we were in Monaco at the time.’
‘Oh poor you, dreadful place in the summer,’ Emily grimaced. ‘Wouldn’t catch me within ten miles of it, unless we were on the yacht, of course. Our daughter, Jacoba, has a little place there actually. She adores it. Commutes every day to the university in Nice. Speaking of daughters, how’s dear Annabelle? I heard what happened. Nasty business, poor thing. How’s she coping? I imagine she’s horribly traumatised. In fact, I was half expecting you and Robert to back out this evening.’
‘Oh, we’d never do that,’ Sabrina assured her. ‘We so look forward to your parties, and Annabelle’s coping very well, I’m happy to say. She’s being very brave about it all, and she absolutely insisted we come tonight.’ By the time she’d finished Emily’s attention had already drifted to the next group of guests, and as she wafted away, all handkerchief chiffon and L’Air du Temps, Camilla said, ‘Sabrina, there’s someone over there I absolutely must say hello to. Why don’t you come along and let me introduce you. Between us,’ she said under her breath as they floated through the party, ‘I have a bit of a crush, but please don’t give me away. Cameron,’ she crowed delightedly, throwing out her arms. ‘How utterly splendid to see you. Emily mentioned you might come.’
Turning to her, Cameron’s eyes crinkled in a smile. ‘Camilla, what are you doing here?’ he said warmly. ‘I thought you were in Beijing.’
‘Not quite yet,’ she replied as they embraced. ‘Is it true you’re looking for a house in the area?’
‘I am, but not having much luck so far, I’m afraid. Is Ronald here?’
‘Oh, he’s around somewhere, I’m sure you’ll run into him sooner or later. Now, do let me introduce a good friend of mine. Sabrina Paige, this is Cameron Mitchell. Cameron’s one of our foremost authorities on modern art. Actually, you might already have met,’ she added, the thought apparently just occurring to her.
‘No, unfortunately we haven’t,’ Sabrina murmured, affecting her best sultry tones as she moved forward to shake his hand, ‘but I’ve heard of you, of course. It’s a pleasure to meet you.’
‘Likewise,’ he responded politely. ‘It would seem our reputations go before us, because I’ve heard of you too.’
Sabrina smiled and almost batted her eyelids. ‘I hope you’re not going to believe all you hear,’ she said playfully.
‘Oh, but I probably should,’ he assured her.
Warming to the flirtation, she said, ‘Actually, I’m very glad to run into you, because I’d love to invite you to a soirée on the twelfth if you’re still going to be around these parts.’ It would be crass to mention anything about June just yet, but June was going to be over the moon when she saw him, he was so attractive.
‘I’m due to go back to London on the fifteenth,’ he told her, ‘so that should work out, but I’ll need to check with my partner to make sure we don’t have anything else on that evening. I believe you’ve already met her …’ and reaching behind him for Alicia’s hand, he kept hold of it as she excused herself to the couple she was talking to and turned around.
Sabrina’s face went ashen.
As Alicia’s paled too, Cameron tightened the grip on her hand.
‘What are you doing here?’ Sabrina hissed.
‘We were invited,’ Cameron cut in, before Alicia could respond.
‘Does Emily Roswell have any idea who you are?’ Sabrina threw at Alicia. ‘She can’t, because she’d never let the mother of a rapist…’
‘My son is nothing of the sort,’ Alicia cut in furiously. ‘It’s your daughter who’s a liar and a whore, like her mother.’
Sabrina almost exploded with outrage. ‘How dare you…?’
‘Come on, Alicia,’ Cameron said, trying to ease her away.
‘Aren’t you ashamed of the way you’re using your own daughter to punish me because Craig wouldn’t leave me?’ Alicia challenged. ‘You could have kept it between us …’
‘It was your son who attacked my daughter,’ Sabrina said scathingly. ‘He’s a sick, perverted boy…’
‘He’s a boy whose father has just died, and you are trying to ruin his life. Why can’t you leave him alone?’
‘He deserves everything that’s happening to him. He’s been interfering with my daughter since she was twelve, so if I were you I’d keep an eye on Darcie, or the next thing you know he’ll be molesting his sister.’
Alicia’s hand swung so hard that Sabrina reeled back into the people behind her.
Then suddenly Robert was there, and before Sabrina knew what was happening he’d emptied a glass of red wine down the front of her dr
ess. ‘Oh my God,’ she gulped, ‘what have you… Look at me.’
Seizing her arm in an iron grip, he began steering her through the crowd.
‘Are you OK?’ Cameron murmured, pulling Alicia into a protective embrace.
‘What she said,’ Alicia gasped. ‘How could she…? It was so…’
‘Ssh, I know. Come on, let’s go inside.’
‘I think I’d rather go home.’
‘Whatever you prefer.’
As they turned away the guests who’d been close enough to hear watched them leave, some murmuring to others in voices muted with shock. One woman, whom Alicia had never seen before, stepped forward and put a friendly hand on her arm, but another pointedly turned her back as Alicia caught her eye.
On reaching the front of the house they saw Robert and Sabrina on the forecourt below, getting into their car. After tipping the attendant Robert closed his door and drove away.
‘I’m sorry you had to go through that,’ Cameron said, as they waited for his car to be brought round. ‘I blame myself…’
‘No, I’m the one who should be sorry,’ she interrupted. ‘I guessed she’d be here, but I foolishly hoped we’d manage to stay out of one another’s way.’ As another wave of horror came over her she covered her face with her hands. ‘How could she have said that?’
‘She disgraced herself far more than you,’ he told her, ‘so try to put it out of your mind.’
Inhaling deeply as she looked up, she said, ‘Listen, you don’t have to leave. Let me get a taxi…’
‘I’m coming with you,’ he said firmly, and as the parking attendant brought the car to a halt he walked her round to the passenger side.
Robert’s silence was terrible as he drove them home, far worse than when he shouted, because at least then Sabrina could have a say. This way there was no reaching him. He was angrier than she’d ever known him, and it was unnerving her badly.
Though she’d like to believe that he hadn’t heard what she’d said, she knew he must have, or he wouldn’t have tipped his drink down her dress. It was his way of making sure she left the party, she understood that, but why wasn’t he saying anything?