by Susan Lewis
Stepping on to the bridge he crossed halfway and stood staring into the Copse beyond. There was no one else around, and the only sound breaking the silence was of the river trickling over rocks. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to go any further, or why he’d even come this way, he only knew that his footsteps had led him here, almost as though they had a will of their own.
He wondered if his father could see him now, or read his mind, or feel inside his heart. He felt connected to him in a way he hadn’t since he’d died, but whether that was because of something beyond him, or deep within, he had no idea. It was a debate he’d like to have with his father, whether there was life after death, or something akin. More tears smarted in his eyes as the future yawned emptily without him. He’d never know his father’s opinions on that now, and realising it he felt the terrible loss opening up again and sucking him in.
‘I’ll always be there for you, son,’ Craig said as they walked out of the school gates together. ‘An injustice was done, and we’ve put it right. Never be afraid to stand up and speak if you feel yourself to be right, and be the first to apologise if you find you’re wrong.’
The issue his father had come to the school to help him address was irrelevant now, it was the words he’d spoken that mattered, and the way he, Nat, had taken it for granted that day, like every other day, that his father would always be there.
He stared down at the water, and seeing the reflection of the sky he wondered if the feeling that his father was close by right now might actually mean that he was. He wanted to believe it, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if he had the courage to. What would he say to him, he wondered, if he had the chance to say a final goodbye? He didn’t know, he couldn’t think, but then Darcie’s silly poems came to his mind and he swallowed as he smiled self-consciously. ‘I love you very much with all my might, Having you as my dad means I’m getting things right.’
Hearing a noise behind him he spun round, and seeing Annabelle standing a short way along the bank, he turned cold inside. Afraid it might be a trap, he quickly left the bridge and started to run back the way he’d come. As soon as he got home he picked up the phone to call Jolyon, needing to let him know that he’d just breached his bail.
‘I don’t know if she followed me, or if it was simply coincidence,’ he said. ‘I just thought I should report it before she does, because the last thing I need is to be arrested again for something I didn’t do.’
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was unusual for Robert to find himself interrupted while working in his study early in the morning, especially by a knock on the door. Generally if someone was looking for him they used the intercom, so it was with a feeling of disgruntlement and dismay that he realised it was probably Sabrina bringing him a breakfast he didn’t want, in an attempt to win herself back into favour.
‘Robert? Are you in there?’
Surprised to hear Annabelle, he immediately got to his feet and went to open the door. She was standing in the drizzle, a raincoat over her head, masking the top half of her face.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, quickly ushering her in. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be up yet.’
‘It’s half past ten,’ she told him.
Blinking at the clock he gave an ironic smile, but still concerned about her and what she’d been through the day before, he said, ‘How are you feeling this morning?’
She shrugged. ‘I’m OK. A bit, you know, down there, but otherwise all right.’
Presuming the missing word was sore, he said, ‘Have you taken the painkillers?’
‘I did last night, but it’s fine now. I just feel a bit tired, I suppose, and fed up and …’ She shrugged.
Weepy, he thought, by the look of her, but he didn’t say it. ‘So to what do I owe this pleasure?’ he asked kindly, gesturing for her to sit down on one of his visitors’ sofas.
After perching on the edge of it and bunching her coat on her lap, she waited for him to sit down too, then said, ‘I just thought…Well, actually, I wanted to say thank you for taking me yesterday.’
Touched by her gratitude, and the effort she’d made to come here and voice it, he said, ‘You were very brave and I was extremely proud of you.’
She shifted a shoulder again, but whether it was to be dismissive or because she was embarrassed, he couldn’t quite tell. What he could sense, though, was that she was here for more than a mere thank you, but whatever it was, he’d let her get to it in her own good time.
‘If it was up to me I’d have gone back to school today,’ she said, gazing around the room, ‘but Mum’s arranged for Lisa, you know, the woman from SAIT, to come here this morning.’
‘Ah, yes,’ he said solemnly. ‘What time are you expecting her?’
‘Eleven.’ Tilting her head to one side, she began drawing invisible squirls on the arm of the sofa.
He watched, saying nothing, as he waited for her to summon the words she seemed to be struggling to find.
‘I saw Nat yesterday,’ she finally managed, her eyes remaining on the sweep of her finger.
‘Really?’ he said, keeping his tone mild, though his heartbeat had quickened.
She nodded. ‘I think …’ She took a breath that juddered like a sob. ‘It looked like he’d been crying,’ she said. ‘I mean, it was hard to tell from where I was standing, but that’s how it looked. I expect, I mean, I wondered if it might have had something to do with him going to court yesterday.’
‘I suppose it could have,’ Robert agreed.
Her eyes flicked to him, then away again. ‘So you haven’t heard what happened?’
‘If you’re asking if I’ve spoken to Nat or Alicia, the answer’s yes, and the next hearing is scheduled to take place on the seventh of October. That’s when they’ll set the trial date.’
Her eyes stayed down as a flush of colour spread up from her neck over her cheeks. ‘Do you think,’ she said, after a while, ‘I mean… What if I said I didn’t want to be a part of the trial? Would they just cancel it?’
Treading even more carefully now, he said, ‘That would probably depend on why you were saying it. If you want to drop the charge…Is that what you’re saying?’
Still not looking at him, she continued circling her finger around the arm of the sofa, until in the end she nodded. ‘I think so,’ she said quietly.
Trying to ignore the leap of hope in his chest, so as not to go too fast, he said, ‘You’d have to be sure.’
Her eyes finally came up to his, and it startled and concerned him to see how deeply troubled they were. ‘I am sure,’ she said, ‘but if I do, everyone’s going to call me a liar, and I’m not. I told the truth about what happened.’
His mouth turned dry. ‘You mean that he raped you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why would you want to drop the charge?’
She shrugged. ‘Because.’
He waited.
‘It’s just making everyone stressed and unhappy, and if it’s going to affect the rest of his life, and mine…I mean, I know it will, so… It’s not worth it, is it?’
Sitting back in the chair, he gave himself a moment to think. ‘Have you talked to your mother about this?’ he asked.
She baulked as though he was crazy. ‘Noooo,’ she answered. ‘You know what she’s like. She’ll go ballistic.’
Starting to get a slightly better sense of the picture now, he said, ‘So you’re hoping I’ll do it for you?’
Her eyes turned imploring. ‘She’ll only try to talk me out of it, or get Lisa Murray to, and I don’t want to go on with it any more,’ she wailed. ‘It’s just stupid, the way everyone’s getting it all out of proportion and calling people names. It’s not like Darcie did anything wrong, is it, so I don’t understand why anyone’s picking on her.’
‘But this isn’t about Darcie, or calling people names,’ he reminded her gravely.
‘I know that, I’m just saying. All the other stuff about court and prison and getting lab
elled for the rest of his life…Well, that’s just dumb. It wasn’t as though he really hurt me… all that much. I mean, I’ve survived, haven’t I?’
Deciding to run the extent of his devil’s advocate role, he said, ‘If he forced himself on you, Annabelle…’
‘I don’t want to talk about it any more,’ she cut in sharply. ‘I just want you to tell Mum what I’ve decided.’
He regarded her steadily, still not entirely sure which way to go.
‘Please,’ she added.
He sighed, and pressed his fingers to his eyes. ‘OK, I’ll speak to her,’ he said in the end, ‘but you need to be there too.’
Looking decidedly reluctant, she said, ‘Only if you promise not to leave me alone with her.’
Having to suppress a smile at that, he said, ‘You have my word. So when do you want to do this? Before the SAIT officer arrives, or while she’s here?’
She gave it some thought. ‘I don’t know. What do you think?’
Taking his own time to ponder the options, he said, ‘It might be best to give Mum a chance to get used to the idea before the officer turns up.’
Seeing Robert and Annabelle coming across the garden, Sabrina felt a flash of irritation and unease knife through her head. They were conspiring to shut her out, conjuring up a friendship between them that would totally exclude her. She felt suddenly disoriented, helpless even, like an intruder in her own home.
Doing her best to rein in her fears, she quickly returned to her good intentions by emptying the coffee pot to start making fresh, and turning on the oven to … She tried to think what she needed to heat up, but couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, she told herself, it would come back to her. Meanwhile, she must try looking at Robert and Annabelle’s relationship a different way, not as a conspiracy to try and shut her out. Whatever secrets they might have, or closeness they might be pursuing after their shared experience of yesterday, it could surely only be a good thing. The fonder Robert was of Annabelle, the less likely he was to do anything drastic like ending their marriage.
The very thought of that sent so many bolts of dread shooting through her that her hands flew to her mouth as a sob broke in a ragged gasp from her throat.
She had to calm down, she told herself urgently. Everything was going to be fine, she just had to stop letting this ridiculous paranoia get the better of her.
Having bought some of Robert’s favourite shortbreads yesterday, she laid a rosy paper napkin over a plate, shook three loose from the packet, arranged them decoratively, then put them on the table next to his mail.
‘Good morning,’ she said brightly as he came in through the door. ‘I was hoping you might come over for coffee. How are you feeling this morning?’ she asked Annabelle, looking at her with deep motherly concern.
‘I’m cool,’ Annabelle mumbled, seeming to half hide behind Robert.
Sabrina looked at her, then at Robert, and as more alarm bells began clanging in her head her smile faltered.
‘Annabelle’s decided she doesn’t want to go ahead with the charges,’ Robert told her, coming straight to the point.
Sabrina’s thoughts hit a brick wall as she registered the words.
‘We’ve talked it over,’ he continued, ‘and I think…’
‘Just a minute,’ Sabrina interrupted, her voice edged with a harshness that had swept straight past her misgivings: ‘What do you mean, you don’t want to go ahead?’ she said to Annabelle. ‘We agreed you were going to talk this over with Lisa.’
‘Yeah, but…’
‘No buts,’ Sabrina told her sharply. ‘You can’t just accuse someone of rape, and then suddenly say they didn’t do it.’
‘I’m not saying that,’ Annabelle cried.
‘Then what are you saying?’
‘That I don’t want to go on with it.’
Sabrina turned to Robert. ‘This is your doing, isn’t it?’ she accused. ‘You’ve talked her out of it to save your nephew. So once again your family comes first and mine doesn’t count.’
‘That’s utter rubbish,’ Robert informed her angrily. ‘Annabelle took the decision herself, my only involvement was to listen, and then to come and break it to you.’
Turning back to Annabelle, Sabrina struggled to find her next words. ‘Tell me honestly,’ she finally managed, ‘did that boy rape you?’
‘Yes, but I don’t care. I don’t want it taking over my life the way it is. I just want it to stop.’
‘So you’re going to let him get away with it?’
Annabelle coloured and turned her face away. ‘And so are you,’ she said to Robert. ‘You’ve decided that a rapist should walk free…’
‘Stop overdramatising it,’ Robert cut in. ‘He’s a seventeen-year-old boy who might have misunderstood a situation, or overreacted in the heat of the moment …’
‘You’re putting words in her mouth,’ Sabrina shouted. ‘How do you know what happened when you weren’t even there?’
‘I’m just trying to help put some perspective on…’
‘No, you’re just trying to help your sister, and somehow you’ve talked my daughter into aiding and abetting you.’
‘He did not,’ Annabelle cried. ‘I made up my own mind.’
‘Really? Then I’d like to have a word with you alone, young lady, to find out exactly what is going on in your mind.’
‘No way,’ Annabelle retorted, shrinking behind Robert. ‘I’m not being bullied about by you…’
‘Sabrina, will you please try to calm down,’ Robert said. ‘There’s someone at the door, and it’s probably the SAIT officer turned up early.’
‘Good,’ Sabrina seethed, heading towards the hall, ‘let’s hope she can talk some sense into you, Annabelle, because someone obviously needs to.’
After all but pulling a startled Lisa Murray over the threshold, Sabrina took her straight to the kitchen, saying, ‘I’m afraid my daughter’s having something of a crisis, so I’d be grateful if you could talk to her and make her see sense.’
Lisa Murray looked from Annabelle to Robert and back again.
‘Annabelle wants to withdraw the charges,’ Robert informed her.
Lisa hid her surprise and returned her gaze to Annabelle. ‘OK,’ she said carefully.
‘OK?’ Sabrina repeated scathingly.
Ignoring her, Lisa said, ‘Can I ask why, Annabelle?’
‘Because she’s got bored with it,’ Sabrina raged. ‘She’s had to wait too long for centre stage…’
‘Mrs Paige,’ Lisa interrupted, ‘I think it would be a good idea if I spoke to Annabelle alone.’
‘You realise everyone’s going to call you a liar, don’t you?’ Sabrina ranted on. ‘She’s still saying he did it,’ she told Lisa, ‘but…’
‘Sabrina, that’s enough,’ Robert barked. ‘Either cool your temper, or leave the room.’
Sabrina’s outrage exploded. ‘How dare you speak to me like that?’ she yelled. ‘I’m not the fifteen-year-old, she is…’
‘Then stop behaving like one,’ he snapped, and, turning to Annabelle, ‘Do you want to speak to Lisa alone? No one’s going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, so it’s your decision.’
Annabelle looked uncertainly at Lisa.
Lisa smiled. ‘Your stepfather’s right,’ she said, ‘no one’s going to force you to do anything.’
Sensing another eruption from Sabrina, Robert took her by the arm and held on to it tightly.
‘All right,’ Annabelle said. ‘But I’m not changing my mind,’ she told her mother, ‘so don’t think I am.’
Once in the drawing room with Annabelle, Lisa waited until they were both seated on the sofas before saying, ‘Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?’
Annabelle nodded.
‘Your stepfather hasn’t influenced you in any way?’
‘No! I just want it all to go away so I can get on with my life.’
‘But you’re still saying Nathan raped you?’
&
nbsp; ‘Because he did.’
‘And you’re happy for him to go unpunished for this crime?’
‘Not happy, no, but it’s better than ruining the rest of his life, and knowing I’m to blame.’
‘As the victim, you can’t be to blame, especially given your age.’
‘You know what I mean.’
Lisa regarded her intently. ‘On the two previous occasions we met, I stressed to you the importance of telling the truth, and what the consequences could be if you don’t. So if you’re lying about the fact Nathan raped you…’
‘I’m not lying,’ Annabelle shouted, starting to cry. ‘I just don’t want all this hassle any more.’
‘OK,’ Lisa said, getting to her feet. ‘If you really are sure, then we should go and talk to your parents again.’
Finding Robert and Sabrina still in the kitchen, Lisa kept her hand on Annabelle’s shoulder as she said, ‘I’m satisfied Annabelle’s sincere in her decision to drop the rape charge, so I’m going to contact DS Bevan to let him know. You understand there may be repercussions…’
‘What does that mean?’ Sabrina demanded, clearly still highly agitated.
‘I won’t know until I’ve spoken to DS Bevan.’
‘Well, when you do, you can tell him that I want that boy prosecuted for unlawful sex at the very least.’
‘I’ll call from the car on my way back to Bristol,’ Lisa told her. ‘I’ve no doubt you’ll hear from him by the end of the day.’
‘Well, there’s an interesting coincidence,’ Bevan remarked after hearing Lisa out. ‘Annabelle Preston gets cold feet on the very day the CPS gets them too.’
‘You mean he’s thrown it out anyway?’ Lisa said, more shocked than she’d expected to be, given that she’d sensed it coming.
‘I got the call about ten minutes ago. Your phone was switched off, so I couldn’t let you know.’
‘What happened?’
‘At a guess, the lawyers’ pressure finally paid off. It was always going to be a difficult sell to the jury, but personally I think his lie at the start would have got them on our side. I suppose we’ll never know now.’
‘She’s still adamant he raped her.’