The heavy-lidded eyes surveyed her, and she continued quickly, ‘I had thought you might appreciate someone to write letters or read aloud to you, or carry out other small tasks…’
‘Thank you. I have servants to perform any errands, and I do not have a large correspondence.’ He raised two fingers and the waiting servant stepped forward.
‘A glass of ratafia for her ladyship, Wilkins.’ When the man had gone he continued to stare at Karen, but she would not be put out of countenance. Calmly she looked back at him.
‘Why did you come?’ he said, abruptly. ‘Is it curiosity? Or is there something you want of me?’
‘I have told you, I want to know you. You do not like me, I fear; but then, you do not know me. I should like an opportunity to remedy that. Antony and I plan to live here at the Manor, and I would be on good terms with other members of the family.’
‘How admirable, and how pragmatic.’ He seemed cynically amused. ‘And what if I have no desire to improve our acquaintance?’
‘That is your privilege, my lord, and you loss, may I say? My purpose is to make Antony happy, and any friction, or even lack of understanding between you and me will mar that happiness.’ She leaned forward a little. Sunlight slanted in through colored panes, casting rainbow patterns on her gown.
‘Lord Edward, there has been too much hurt in Antony’s life. Please, I beg of you, help me to cover over the scars and start afresh – for his sake.’
The knotted fingers tightened on the chair arm, then relaxed. He said slowly, ‘It is inconceivable that you are the same woman as married my son. You could not have changed so much.’
‘I have changed. Believe me, there is nothing of the old Caro left. I love Antony and will do anything to prove it.’
‘Astonishing!’ He paused as Wilkins returned and offered a tray with a glass to Karen.
She took this with murmured thanks and set it down on a table beside her. The dog came over and lay on her feet, panting gently and looking up into her face.
‘Rufford has made his assessment, I see. Well, madam, it appears that we should indeed know one another better. You may begin by explaining this sudden decision to reside at the Manor. As far as I know, my son holds the place in abhorrence.’
Waiting until Wilkins had retired again, she began to weave a tale of rediscovered love between herself and her husband, his recovery from the horror of Jenny’s death, the need for Chloe to experience a quiet country life. It all came together quite well, she thought, watching some of the lines go from Lord Edward’s face. He must have worried about his son and fretted at his inability to help him. All he could do was to load further responsibility on his shoulders as the arthritis took stronger hold.
She left after a half-hour, feeling her time had been well spent. They were to lunch together on the terrace that day, and make plans for the entertainment and teaching of Chloe when she arrived. The child seemed to be much in his mind, and although there was no hint given, Karen could feel the unspoken hope for further grandchildren in the future. Her pulse quickened at the thought. Only let Antony return to her safe and whole and she would do her part.
Charles’ presence was explained by the need to transfer estate matters to this new venue. He took over a small room at the end of the east wing and began transforming it into an office, happily co-opting furnishings and the services of maids, carpenters and men to act as couriers between the Manor and Rothmoor House. Watching in amusement, Karen noted that he had put aside his role of bodyguard in the enjoyment of his new circumstances.
His distinctly upbeat attitude was explained by the arrival within the week of not just Chloe, Nanny, Feathers, et al, but also a travelling coach from which erupted an ebullient and outlandishly clad Amanda to tumble into her friend’s welcoming arms.
‘Dear, dear Caro. You do not mind? I wanted to surprise you, and Mama can spare me for a few days since her sister has come to bear her company. And, what do you think? I have brought a trunk full of the latest country modes. You will be ravished, I swear. What think you of this?’ She pirouetted so that the skirts of her burnt orange twill travelling gown swirled out in a froth of petticoats.
Karen blinked. So harsh a color against the fair skin could just be tolerated, but not with yellow and brown bands of braid criss-crossing from neck to hem, and a jacket, bodice and sleeves trimmed with huge gilt buttons that caught the sun and made her look like some kind of circus ballerina ready to perform in the ring.
‘Amanda, I am stunned. I don’t know what to say.’
Fortunately, Charles bounded down the steps to take Amanda’s little kid-gloved hands in his own, blind to everything but the fact that she had arrived.
‘Miss Crayle! Amanda!’
‘Dear Charles.’ Her eyes were soft on him, Karen noted as she turned to receive Chloe’s welcoming rush. Somehow Feathers became mixed up in the greetings, and it was a lively few moments before everyone was sorted out sufficiently to move inside.
While Nanny and her charge inspected the nursery, Karen took Amanda upstairs to wash her hands and remove her monstrous orange turban equipped with three brown feathers.
Her hair neat once more, Amanda plumped down on the settle and said, ‘I am quite distracted with unanswered questions. Pray tell me all that has transpired since you left London.’
‘Where shall I begin?’ Karen motioned away the maid who had been about to unpack the first of Amanda’s trunks. ‘You know you’re welcome to stay until the last trump, but do you really need to travel with all these clothes?’
‘Pooh! The veriest necessities, I assure you. Do not be so aggravating. Tell me what happened. Did you see something at the Manor to explain your strange urge to come here? Was there a clue to your translation from the future?’
Karen took a deep breath. ‘Hang onto your wig, Amanda.’
‘My wig? My wig? Oh, you wicked thing. You are funning me. And why have you reverted to that very odd manner of speech? I do beseech you, Caro, do not fall into the habit of forgetting all your training.’
‘Sorry… I mean, I crave your pardon, Amanda. What I should have said is that you will be knocked off you… Dammit! Must I always descend to modern idiom? You will be greatly surprised by what I have to tell you.’
‘Just tell me, you infuriating creature.’ Amanda sprang to her feet and shook her friend, half in earnest.
‘First, I must go back to the journey. It was while I waited overnight at the inn that I came to an important conclusion. I realized that Antony’s happiness means more to me than my own. Yet I also made a vow that, if possible, I would return to my own time and put my life to rights. I wanted to do all the things I should have done long before, to express the love hidden inside of me, be the person I was meant to be.’
Amanda looked disturbed. ‘I cannot conceive how you could retain both ideals. They are quite incompatible.’
‘I realize that. I had to make a choice.’ The words emerged jerkily, as if Karen’s vocal machinery had begun to run down. ‘I came to the Manor in the early morning. It rose out of the mist like an enchanted house. I walked down past the east wing just as if I knew my way, and I saw it – the tower. I saw it as it was four years ago, filled with fire. The flames came bursting through the shattered windows to lick the outer walls. I saw myself crouched under the roof, trapped. Chloe was screaming in my arms. I heard Antony calling, and my own desperate cry as I thrust my child out into space. I felt the skin begin to scorch from my bones. I saw my own death, Amanda.’
‘Jenny! You were Jenny! Good God above! ‘Tis past belief. Did… does Antony know? Can he credit such a thing?’
Karen smiled slightly. She was pale but composed as she took her seat opposite her friend on the settle. ‘He had no choice. I revealed to him knowledge that only he and Jenny shared.’
Amanda was lost for words. Then her face crumpled and she leaned over to take Karen in her arms.
‘What a dreadful experience, to relive such a death!’ She sat
back, still holding Karen’s shoulders. Tears glistened on her plump cheeks, but she could smile. ‘Do you know what you have done? You have proven the deathlessness of love, that the bond between man and woman continues unbroken as they go on to evolve spiritually from life to life. I always knew it; but you and Antony, together…’ She sniffed and released Karen to search for her handkerchief.
Karen felt a weight of loneliness rolling off her. To share her experience with someone who truly understood was an immeasurable relief. Antony had still to come to grips with the theory of reincarnation, but Amanda knew.
‘Is it always so, do you think, Amanda? What of those who lose love, who separate and find other mates?’
‘Do we not often lose our way? If it happens as you say, then the partners must wait to be reunited in another existence. But still the bond does not part. They are tied to one another, predestined to eventually meet and reconcile their differences before they may continue to grow.’
Karen looked thoughtful. ‘Now you see my dilemma.’
‘Indeed. If we find a way to return you to your own time, you must choose between present love and the possible loneliness of failing to meet in that particular future. There is no guarantee that you would meet in your life as Karen Courtney, is there?’
‘Exactly. How can I possibly give up the greatest joy a human being can have? You do not know how happy we are, Antony and I. It’s as though a whole lifetime of bliss has been released in essence all over us. We drown in it. It is almost too much.’
Amanda looked grave. ‘Then enjoy it to the full while you may. For there are storms ahead, my dear. You know that I am able to foresee some events, or rather, sense the energies that surround them; and for some time now I have been aware of dark forces about you. There will be a struggle. You will face terrible choices. But the suffering will also bring great joy. I see the storms melting away in the heat of the sun, and that always symbolizes to me the love of the Creator. So, take hold of your joy and experience it to the utmost, but be prepared for trouble.’
Karen was shaken. ‘Did Charles speak to you about a plot against my life?’
‘No. He mentioned nothing of it. Is it Sybilla?’
‘And Basil. Antony has gone to deal with them. He will be away for some time.’ Her voice cracked. ‘Amanda, I was angry with him because he would not tell me. He was trying to spare me, and I let him go without so much as a God speed.’
‘He will return soon enough, and you may make your peace with him. Remember the storms to come, and do not waste your time of happiness.’ Amanda looked so sad that Karen’s thoughts were diverted from her own problems.
‘Forgive me for prying, but, are you and Charles in difficulty?’
Amanda shook her head. She didn’t meet Karen’s eyes. ‘Our affairs do not prosper. There are barriers.’
‘You are referring to his lack of birth, perhaps? I did not think that would weigh with you.’
‘It does not. I care nothing for an accident that should not be laid at Charles’ door. He is as much a gentleman as any born to power and consequence. In fact, more so.’ She sprang up in agitation and began to pace the room. ‘How could you imagine that I would be swayed by such considerations?’
‘I did not, and I truly beg your pardon. But what, then, is the barrier?’
‘’Tis partly money.’ It was said in a whisper.
‘Money? You, Amanda?’
‘Oh, you do not know what it is to be poor, to struggle to keep oneself looking decent, to appear beforehand with the world. But that is not the worst. Since my father’s death, my mother has been unwell, as you know. She requires the best of treatment, a special invalid diet of expensive items, constant visits to Sir Henry Elsom, the specialist in diseases of the blood. He recommends that she should leave London and live in the fresh coastal air, but we do not have the money.’
‘Why on earth did you keep this from me? I thought, I understood, looking at your wardrobe…’
‘I make all my own clothes. The fabrics come from the Pantheon bazaar, as do my shoe buckles, my gloves, my stockings. I hire a carriage when I must have one, and walk whenever possible. My mother’s small annuity from my father’s estate pays our rent and buys a little food. We have just the one servant. I do much of the work myself. That is why I am considered over-particular in the matter of social engagements. I have not the time to attend most.’
‘And you took on so much with me, shepherding me about, teaching, endlessly explaining. You must have no time at all for yourself.’
‘Hush. I do not regret one second of it, my dear friend.’ Amanda smiled and held up her hand. ‘I know what you will say. Your generous nature will require you to offer pecuniary assistance. Please do not do so. I should be forced to reject any such offer, and this could damage our excellent understanding.’
Karen sat back, the offer on the tip of her tongue stillborn. Her own sensitivity allowed her to feel Amanda’s pride. She couldn’t take that from her.
‘What will you do? Does Charles have any hope of advancement? Could Antony help him?’
‘I have no doubt that he will do so.’ Amanda hesitated. ‘I hope that Charles will find happiness with someone, some kind and loving young woman who will come to him unburdened, and love him as he deserves to be loved. Caro… I do not think that my feeling for Charles is passionate love. He is more a friend.’
‘There’s someone else. It’s that other eligible man you spoke of.’ Karen knew she was right, and her heart ached for Charles.
Amanda nodded. ‘Oliver Stamford. You have met him in my company several times.’
‘Rumor has it that he is wealthy. Do you love him, Amanda? Are you sure you would not be sacrificing yourself for an idea of duty?’
‘He is gentle and thoughtful, the most complete man of honor. He shares my tastes. He understands and supports me.’ Amanda’s eyes revealed her depth of feeling. ‘You do not know how much that means. All my life I have cared for others, willingly; but always I have been the strong one. Oliver has a strength, a rootedness that is rare. He may give the surface appearance of mildness. You might perhaps think him a little inept socially; but few know him as well as I do. I know if I give my heart into his keeping he will cherish it.’
*
Two nights later Karen stole out into the garden long after the house slept. She had lain awake for hours worrying about Antony, and eventually she put on her gown and outdoor shoes and crept down the back stairs to a little garden entrance she often used.
The moon-silvered lawns and trees beckoned her into an enchanted world. Dew-covered leaves on the rhododendrons glittered with a frosting of starlight, and down beyond them in a hollow of sable lay the lake, a molten mystery drawing her on. In her white gown she was a part of the landscape. Standing with her face turned up to bathe it in moonlight she saw a flicker of movement over near the foot of the tower. When she really looked, she saw a shadow gliding past the fallen masonry and up onto the terrace of the east wing.
She blinked, and it had gone. Not just imagination, she thought. There had been someone, and the only possible place for him to have gone was through one of the long terrace windows. Without pausing to consider, she hitched up her gown and ran back towards the house.
Arriving panting on the east terrace, she slowed down and crept more cautiously towards the end. The second window from the tower was open a crack, the window to Charles’ office. A thief? What was there to burgle from an estate office except dull journals filled with details of husbandry? Or did the intruder intend to venture further within the house? With a cautious finger she edged the glass outward and stepped into the recess made by long velvet drapes.
An arm snaked between them, jerking her forward into the room.
The cry surprised out of her was half-stifled as she recognized Charles standing by his desk. The man who held her was a stranger, a rougher type than the usual visitor to the Manor. She tried, unsuccessfully, to tug herself free and said, with all th
e hauteur she could manage, ‘Will you kindly release me, and explain this secretive rendezvous in my house?’
Charles looked harried – his usual expression whenever he found himself explaining matters to her. ‘Caro, Your Ladyship, allow me to present Monsieur Lafitte. He is… a sea captain with whom I have some dealings.’
Lafitte released her and, stepping backwards, made her a bow. She saw a man of slight build, his brown hair clubbed and drawn back in an old-fashioned style over his ears. Plainly dressed, he lacked both coat and hat. His features were not memorable but a pair of merry brown eyes disposed her to like him on sight.
‘Lafitte? Not Jean Lafitte, by any chance?’
‘The same, madame.’ Again he bowed. The brown eyes positively danced.
‘Jean Lafitte, monsieur, is at present pirating his way around Central America. Have you stolen his name, or do you merely covet his reputation?’ Secretly amused, she made her face stern, as befitted her position. Poor Charles, she thought. He looked so helpless.
The stranger was unruffled. ‘Madame, you have penetrated my nom de guerre. I will admit to having adopted the name of that bold adventurer.’ He swept forward a chair and assisted her into it. ‘I am desolated to have so rudely attacked a lady. I took you for a spy, alas!’
Charles made an abrupt movement, then was still.
She looked at him impatiently. ‘Do stop dithering and wondering what story to concoct for me. It’s quite plain that Monsieur Lafitte is connected with Antony’s activities and is here on business. I won’t interrupt, nor even demand an explanation. But please, don’t take me for a fool.’
Lafitte looked startled, Charles, resigned.
She turned to the visitor, ‘Are you employed by my husband? Do you know where he is?’
‘Madame…’
Charles broke in. ‘’Tis useless to dissemble. Her ladyship is in Lord Antony’s confidence.’
The brown eyes, which had lost their merry glow, turned on her. ‘I regret, Madame, that I do not know the whereabouts of Lord Antony.’
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