by Jenn Hype
A group of Joe’s friends called him over, so I headed towards the house to grab a drink. When I walked into the kitchen a group of guys were sitting at the table playing poker, two of which I remembered meeting at the precinct that night I was arrested.
I grabbed a bottle of water and walked over to the table, standing behind Eric, one of the officers I knew, and watched a few rounds. Eric introduced me to everyone at the table, and despite a few of them paying more attention to my tits than my conversation, they all seemed like decent guys.
I was in the middle of teasing Eric about how horrible of a player he was when Chad walked in with a plateful of hamburgers and hot dogs. I followed the guys over to the food and made a plate and piled the works onto a hot dog, taking much too big of a bite. I grabbed a napkin and started wiping the mess off of my face when I noticed everyone staring at me.
“What?” I asked with a mouthful of hot dog.
No one answered me, so I just shrugged and followed them as they retreated to Joe’s living room. Everyone found seats around the room, and one of the guys clicked on the television, changing it to some sort of sports game. I was too busy trying to discreetly look to see if Chad had followed us into the room, then immediately chiding myself for being disappointed when I didn’t see him.
After a few minutes we all fell into easy conversation, and I even managed to forget Chad was nearby somewhere. I kicked my feet up on Joe’s coffee table and grabbed Eric’s beer out of his hand, taking a swig. He was sitting on the couch next to me, and feigned offense at my stealing his beer.
“Gonna arrest me for stealing your beer?” I joked, earning a chuckle from the guys.
“Hell no, I was there the first time you got arrested, remember? I have no interest in making you an enemy like Chad did.” I elbowed him in the side lightly and he doubled over, clutching his side and wailing like I’d broken his rib.
“Such a drama queen. And for your information, Chad became my enemy for being a giant dickwad. I don’t know how you guys put up with Officer Tight Ass all the time. And I don’t mean ‘tight ass’ as in he has a tight ass. Seriously, does that guy ever let loose?”
I took another drink of Eric’s beer and froze when I noticed none of the guys were laughing at my joke. Instead they were all looking over my shoulder, and I knew without turning that Chad was standing behind me. They didn’t look like they were afraid of him, per se. More like they were afraid that some kind of bomb was going to go off.
I leaned my head back on the back of the couch, far enough to be looking straight up at Chad, who stared directly down at me. He looked angry, but I saw his mouth twitch and knew he was holding back a smile.
“Speak of the devil himself, here he is,” I held the beer bottle up in the gesture of a toast and sat up. I sat the bottle down on the coffee table, stood up and rounded the couch, ready for our face off. Chad turned to face me, but stood still as a statue, and I just couldn’t help myself. I bent at the waist and looked around him, putting my face right up to his butt. I put a confused look on my face and pretended to be searching for something.
“What the hell are you doing?” He barked out, sounding extremely annoyed.
“Oh, I was just trying to help you out but I don’t think I can. You’ll probably need a surgeon.” He sneered and lifted one eyebrow. “Well, I was going to try and help you remove that giant stick from your ass, but it’s so far up there that I think it will take the help of someone more qualified.”
His jaw ticked and I winked at him. I could see him struggling with a response, but he didn’t have time to think of one because suddenly the room erupted in laughter. I should have been pleased with myself when I saw him trying to conceal the embarrassment I’d caused him, but instead I just felt like shit. It’s not that it wasn’t true what I’d said, he most definitely had something stuck up there, but I knew teasing him wasn’t going to help him loosen up. I’d only made it worse.
I wasn’t sure how to recover the situation, so I went with an oldiebut goody—flattery and sarcasm. “How about this, Officer Panty Melter, we were just thinking of starting back up the poker game. Why don’t you join us? I’ll even take it easy on you, that way you have a chance of winning.”
Chad didn’t answer right away, so I got up and headed towards the table. “C’mon guys!” I turned around to find them all still seated, their eyes darting back and forth between me and Chad. I put my hand on my hip and cocked my head. “Don’t tell me you all are afraid of losing your money to a girl.”
At that challenge, the ruckus started back up as they clamored out of their seats and followed me back to the table. I wasn’t surprised that Chad didn’t join us, but he did stay and quietly observe as I wiped the floor with the men. A couple hours later I was fifty bucks richer and half buzzed.
“Alright, boys, time to ante up. I don’t want to hear any grumbling or nonsense about how I must have cheated or some shit like that. Take it like a man and just admit you got bested by a girl.” All the men simultaneously groaned, and I just chuckled wickedly as I gleefully pocketed the money they each handed me.
When I finished draining their wallets, I looked up at Chad and found him studying me intently. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, and he was trying his damndest to hide the smile threatening those gorgeous lips of his. I watched as he took a long drink of his bottled water. It was such a mundane action, and if it were anyone else I would have looked away without another thought. Only this was Chad, and watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed made my stomach clench. Without warning, the memory of having that delicious mouth on mine assaulted me, and my legs started moving towards him before I could think better of it.
“Bet you’re glad you didn’t join in right about now. Guess it’s a good thing you were too chicken shit to play,” I said in a low voice while I trailed a finger from just below his chest up to his neck. Chad growled low in his throat and pushed my hand away, and quickly made his way out the back door. The sun had long gone down and most of the party goers had made their way to the bonfire in Joe’s backyard, trying to keep warm as the night had grown chilly.
I started to follow him, annoyed that he was blowing me off once again, but stopped in my tracks when I saw him already laughing and joking with the little brunette slut he’d been talking to when I first arrived. Jealousy rocketed through my veins and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was so wrong with me that he could so easily flirt with her, but blow me off every chance he got.
After a few minutes they went their separate ways, but the anger and confusion warring inside me spurred me into action. All I could think about was how I needed to get Busty McFakeTits to back the hell off. I glanced back at Chad to make sure he wasn’t looking and trailed behind her as she walked up to a group of girls standing a few feet away from Joe. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to do, but I was pretty good at coming up with evil plots on the spot, so I figured I’d wing it.
Inspiration struck me as I stepped up close to Joe, only a couple of feet away from Shorty McSlutPants. I kept my voice hushed as if I was trying to whisper, but made sure I was talking loud enough for her to hear.
“I can’t believe Chad gave me the clap, Joe. It’s fucking bullshit. He wore a rubber and everything, but it tore, and when I told him about it he just laughed and said ‘that’s what you get for being such a slut.’ He is such a dick.”
Joe choked on his beer and I patted him on the back, then made sure he made eye contact with me so I could wink, letting him know I was up to something before he said anything to screw up my plan.
“He said there’s this cute little slut with dark hair that’s here tonight that he’s going to give it to next. He’s sick, Joe. I don’t know how you put up with him.”
I heard her let out a disgusted noise and tell her friends she was leaving. I smirked at Joe as I watched her storm off. Joe finally let out the laughter he’d been fighting hard to hold in and I joined in.
“Wha
t was that about, Stace?”
“Chad wanted to screw that girl that just left and I wanted to screw his chances of screwing her,” I said with a shrug.
“That sounds a whole lot like jealousy. I thought you wanted to get revenge? Might be difficult to do when you seem to have developed a little bit of a crush on him.”
“Shut up, I do not have a crush on him. I hate him. Nothing has changed. I just wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to mess with him.”
“You keep telling yourself that, Stace. I think that kiss at Petey’s fucked up your head. Maybe you should just bow out before you end up getting hurt.”
“First of all, that kiss didn’t do anything. Yeah, it was hot and I was pissed at him for acting like such a dick but that’s just because I haven’t gotten laid for too long and getting rejected pissed me off. There are no actual feelings there. Second of all, the only one who would end up getting hurt is him. Quit acting like I’m some delicate little pansy ass twat. I’m the one who does the heart breaking.”
Joe didn’t even bother responding, instead giving me a quick head nod and walking away. I had gotten too defensive. I should have played it cooler. I hadn’t meant to react that way, but his accusation of me feeling something for Chad threw me. There was no way I felt anything for him except disdain, the guy was all asshole. There was no kindness in him, nothing worth falling for. Sure, he was sexy as sin, but that wasn’t enough to make me actually fall for someone. I’d never even been in love, and Chad would definitely not be the guy to change that.
“I heard that,” Chad whispered in my ear from behind me, startling me out of my thoughts. I jumped and let out a little squeak, then smacked his arm for scaring me.
“Heard what, asshole?”
“Heard you telling that chick that I gave you Chlamydia,” he said with a smirk as he took a drink of his beer.
“Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you speak up and defend yourself?”
“Because I don’t give a shit what people think, and it was kinda cute seeing you get all jealous over me.”
“I was not jealous! I was just…I just wanted to…” I growled at my inability to explain myself. I’d never been at a loss for words in my life, and it me feel vulnerable and exposed. I wanted to tell him that I just hated him and enjoyed screwing up his night, but he probably would have just found it humorous that I was going out of my way to mess with him. Plus, I wasn’t entirely sure that Joe wasn’t maybe a little correct in what he’d just said to me.
Suddenly I froze when I realized if Chad heard what I’d said in front of that girl, then he’d probably heard my conversation with Joe. I clenched my fist and opened and closed my mouth several times, still not able to get so much as a squeak out, before growling again in frustration.
Chad just chuckled and walked off, seemingly uninterested in even hearing an explanation. He seriously could care less that I was spreading rumors that he had an STD. He was so infuriating! Nothing got to him, and it shouldn’t matter to me, it shouldn’t. But it did. Like it or not I couldn’t shake this guy off, and since Joe and I had become so close I was going to have to be around him fairly often. I needed to either find a way to not let him get to me, or find a way once and for all to get him out of my system so I could just move on.
Problem was, I’d go weeks without seeing him and think I’d gotten myself under control, only to completely unravel as soon as he was within fifty feet of me.
Suddenly I just wanted to be anywhere but at that party. I felt bad for leaving without telling Joe goodbye, but I couldn’t be near Chad. I needed some space from him so I could get my shit together. I felt like I didn’t know who I was any more, he had my head all twisted and I hated how much it was changing me. I had already wasted too much energy on someone who obviously hated me just as much as I hated him. Though, he didn’t seem to hate me very much when he was kissing me.
Screw it, I just needed to leave. I practically ran to my car, and in the twenty minutes it took me to get home I had two missed calls and four texts from Joe.
Where did you go?
Your car is gone. Are you coming back?
Why did you leave?
Please answer me so I know you aren’t dead.
When I got inside my apartment I text him back and told him I was home safe and to leave me the fuck alone. I really didn’t want to be alone, but I was too frustrated to be good company, which would only lead to someone asking questions. And talking was the last thing I wanted to do. I contemplated going out, maybe finding a random and letting out some frustration, but that just didn’t feel right. I didn’t want some random guy tonight, and I felt like I needed more than just sex. It wasn’t just pent up sexual frustration that was nagging at me, it was whatever hold Chad had on me that I couldn’t shake.
After showering and throwing on a ribbed tank and some boy shorts, I fell back on my bed and stared at my ceiling. Obsessing. Replaying every minute that had passed since the night I met Chad, trying to figure out where things had gotten so complicated. I finally passed out around two in the morning, no closer to figuring anything out, and feeling more frustrated than ever.
After a fitful night of sleep, I finally gave up and got up at an ungodly hour of the morning. Adalyn was always at work nowadays, so I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to her about any of this. I was too embarrassed to talk to Carrie about it. The way I was behaving was so out of character for me, and I knew she’d give me shit about it and I was not in the mood.
Despite my lack of sleep, I had so much pent up energy threatening to burst out of me that I couldn’t just sit still in the apartment any longer. The sun was barely up so there weren’t going to be any places open, but I needed to get out, needed to move. I threw on some shorts, a sports bra and long tank. I borrowed Addy’s running shoes and a hooded sweatshirt. I hated working out and I didn’t even own a pair of gym shoes, but suddenly the thought of running sounded very appealing.
I threw my phone and keys in the pocket of the hoodie, and as soon as my feet hit the pavement outside, I took off. Did people run in this part of the city? I guessed it didn’t matter since there weren’t many people outside yet anyway. I knew Carrie, my life long friend and Ian’s little sister, ran at the park that was a few blocks over because there were jogging trails, so I headed in that direction.
By the time I made it to the park I was already struggling to breathe and had a line of sweat dripping down the back of my neck. It was a chilly morning and my lungs were on fire from sucking in the cold air so harshly. It felt like I had run ten miles already, though I doubted it had been more than a mile by the time I stopped in the middle of one of the trails and bent over, putting my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
It felt like my lungs were frozen, and no matter how deeply I tried to breathe, I felt like I couldn’t get enough air in them. I felt like I was suffocating, and suddenly I started to feel woozy, so I ran to the bushes on the side of the trail and dry heaved. Nothing came up because I hadn’t bothered to eat anything before I made the stupid decision to jog for the first time in my life, so my stomach felt no relief after the heaving finally stopped. I collapsed to the ground, knees bent with my head hanging between them.
“Stacy?” I looked up and through my blurry vision I could barely make out the details of Carrie’s face. “What are you doing out here? Were you attacked?” She sounded really worried as she leaned down to get a closer look at me.
“No, why would you think I was attacked?”
“Um, because you look like you’ve been running? You’re panting and all sweaty and sitting in the middle of a running trail?”
“I decided to go for a jog.”
Carrie barked out a laugh. “Ha! Good one. Seriously, what are you doing out here?”
“I seriously was jogging,” I said defensively.
“Well if it wasn’t because you were running from a mugger, then why were you jogging? You hate exercise. Where did you even get those shoes?”
“Have you eaten?”
“No.”
“You can’t go running for the first time in your life with no food in you. I’m surprised you didn’t pass out, especially with how cold the air is this morning. Your nose is all red and your legs must be freezing. You’re not dressed properly at all.”
“Shut the hell up, Carrie, no one asked you. Not everyone gets up at the ass crack of dawn to go outside and torture themselves like you do, so I didn’t exactly have all the gear needed for a run.”
“So why are you running in the first place?”
“Can I explain it over breakfast? I’m starving and I might actually pass out if I don’t get food, or in the very least some caffeine, very soon.” Carrie grabbed my arm and helped me stand up. I teetered for a moment before catching my balance, and then gave my eyes a moment to adjust, blinking a few times to try and clear up my line of vision. “But if you give me shit then I’ll never tell you anything ever again.”
Carrie sat and listened patiently while I went over every detail since that night at the club where Chad arrested me. She didn’t interrupt to ask questions, and she didn’t even tell me to lower my voice when I would get worked up during certain parts and yell out expletives like a crack head with Tourette’s. When I finally finished my rant, I was breathing heavy and my body was flush. It wasn’t from the running, because I’d long recovered from that, though I could tell my underworked muscles were going to be punishing me later.
I waited for her to lecture me or give me some kind of advice. To criticize me or express her disappointment in my lack of self control. Instead, she just said “hmmm,” and then took a drink of her coffee.
“Hmmm? That’s it? Hmmm? Are you fucking kidding me? You aren’t going to tell me how stupid or immature or ridiculous I’m being? You aren’t going to lecture me about how childish it is to have a vendetta towards someone I barely know, especially since he’s a cop? You aren’t going to tell me that it’s time for me to grow up and stop playing games and start putting more energy into trying to settle down?”