“But Nell said you were reluctant to take riding lessons.”
“Because what if I was bad at it? What if I’m not the least bit suited to this fantasy life I’ve carried around in my head since I was a little girl?”
“I think the evidence is mounting. After one summer of lessons, you’re already a good hand. You don’t shy away from any of it. You seem almost happy to muck out stalls with me. It’s hot, sweaty work, yet you—what are you laughing about?”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“It’s not that I love shoveling horse poop, although I don’t mind it. But I’m there for the moment when you strip off your T-shirt.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Not kidding. If I had a video of you flexing those sweaty muscles as you muck out a stall, it would go viral in no time.”
“Huh. Meaning you’d only be an eager stall mucker in the summertime?”
“Oh, I’d still be glad to do it regardless. There’s a lot of satisfaction in making the barn nice for those sweet horses. But the prospect of seeing you shirtless and glistening is the major draw.”
His groin tightened. “Too bad you’ll be unavailable tomorrow morning. I hear it’ll be unseasonably warm.”
“I’ll have to miss that opportunity.” She reached over and stroked his chest. “But mucking out stalls isn’t the only way to get those muscles sweaty.”
His breath hitched. “If I follow up on that, we’ll never build a fire.”
“And I won’t learn how to use a hatchet.”
“That, too.” He pushed himself to his feet.
“Do you think the pioneers had this problem?”
“Sure, although I wouldn’t call it a problem.” He glanced down at her, all tousled and rosy from lovemaking. “I’d call it a gift.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Riding home under a full moon capped off a night Val would never forget. She wasn’t quite doing the Lady Godiva bit, but she wasn’t fully clothed, either. Her panties had dried enough to put them on and she’d left her boots and socks on the bank, so they were fine.
The nylon windbreaker slithered against her arms and breasts when she moved, but it kept the top of her warmer than a damp shirt and bra would have. Teague had arranged the quilt over the saddle to make sure her bare legs weren’t chafed. Nugget’s warmth helped chase away the cold.
So did the memories she’d take back with her. Food cooked over a campfire had tasted amazing and making love under the stars had been magic. Afterward, she and Teague had settled back on the quilt, hands clasped, and listened to the sounds of the night.
The hoot of an owl, the yip of coyotes, the distant howl of a wolf — each had been wilder, closer, more thrilling in a mountain meadow rather than when they’d drifted through an open bedroom window. She wanted to do this again.
And there it was… her dilemma. Teague was her guide into this world. Yet she refused to take advantage of his generosity to continue an affair that wouldn’t end the way he wanted. He’d played his part beautifully, keeping the tone light and the sex playful. That didn’t mean he’d abandoned his dream of a wife and kids.
“How’re you doing over there, pioneer lady?”
“Never better.” She glanced over at him. “Silver almost glows in the moonlight.”
“Night rides are his specialty. And indoor arenas. Ed and I like to keep him out of bright sun as much as possible. He’s prone to sunburn.”
“Yet he can jump through flaming hoops?”
“It’s for a fraction of a second, not enough to affect him. He rarely does that these days, anyway. He’s semi-retired, although put a trick saddle on him and he’ll carry you around the arena while you’re hanging upside down, your head inches from the arena floor.”
“Have you tried it?”
“Yes, ma’am. Ed brought in a gymnastics coach and I trained for several months.”
“Wow. Are you going to show me?”
“Afraid not. I’m out of practice. I decided it wasn’t going to be a career path, and I gave up the training routine. Most of it, anyway. I still lift weights.”
“Where? I haven’t seen a weight bench.” Just the results of that lifting. No wonder he was so ripped.
“Ed has a weight room I can use any time I want. She works out every day, one of the reasons she’s still competing at almost eighty-six.”
“Makes perfect sense. I should take a page out of her book. I wouldn’t mind being that spry when I’m her age.”
“She’s always encouraging people to use her weight room if they show any interest at all. It’s top-of-the-line equipment.”
She didn’t comment on the implied invitation. Starting an exercise routine connected with Ed’s weight room would mean showing up at the ranch several times a week. Good for her muscles, not so good for creating distance between her and the man on the white horse.
“What time are you and my mom leaving tomorrow?”
“Nine-thirty. That’ll give us time to pick up Tatum and Piper. Nell and Claire will swing by Riley’s house and then meet as at the school by ten.”
“You’ll have fun.”
“Big fun. So much has changed since last year. I met Nell for the first time while she was setting up her room. I knew we’d be friends after that first day, but I had no idea how she’d change my life. And Claire! Neither of us counted on that girl bursting onto the scene.”
“Those four little devils sure did waylay you this afternoon.”
“Yep.”
“I’m glad they did. You need to keep riding, Val. After what you said tonight, I can’t imagine you giving it up. That would be a step in the wrong direction.”
“I know, but… it’s complicated.”
“By me. And that’s not what I—”
“Not just you. I’m as much a part of this as you are. I could have turned you down flat on the fake engagement plan. I didn’t.” She turned to him. “And I don’t regret saying yes. I wouldn’t trade the past few days for anything.”
“And nights. Don’t leave out the nights.”
“Believe me, I won’t.”
He took a deep breath. “I have to ask. Have you given any more thought to continuing—”
“Yes, and I always come to the same conclusion. If we’re going to have any chance of salvaging a friendship out of this episode, we have to end our…” What to call it? “Our intimate relationship on Sun—”
“If you ask me, our intimate relationship has been a huge success.”
“Which is all the more reason to quit while we’re ahead. The obvious time is Sunday after your mom leaves.”
He was quiet for a while. “You had a good time tonight.”
“I had a great time tonight.”
“There’s a small window of opportunity left, before the first snow. It seems a shame to let that go to waste.”
“You could invite—”
“Don’t say it.”
“But—”
“Val, I’m not going to turn around and take some other woman out there. Wouldn’t be fair to her. All I’d think about would be the amazing time you and I had.”
“Okay, I shouldn’t have suggested you start dating someone else right away. That was insensitive.”
“Come out to the meadow with me next weekend. If you don’t wade in the creek, you’ll get to help me collect firewood.”
“We wouldn’t need more. That pile we left was huge.”
“So we should go use it up before it snows.”
“You’re not going to convince me, Teague. If we stop on Sunday, we’ll end on a high note. We’ll walk away smiling.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“I intend to end things amicably.”
“Amicably. You know what? I hate that word. I picture two people with fake smiles pretending everything is just fine when it’s not.”
“You can have your definition and I’ll have mine. I just agreed to continue rid
ing lessons, and I want us to be able to enjoy being around each other during those lessons.”
“I want that, too, which is why I think we should extend the time and ease into the eventual separation. When the weather cools off, we can start cooling off. I won’t be stripping off my shirt to muck out stalls. That should help.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t become you.”
“Sorry. This conversation is making me a little testy. What’s so wrong about my idea? Why won’t you at least try it for a few weeks?”
“Because I don’t believe we’ll cool off gradually. I think we’ll dig a deeper hole for ourselves.”
He didn’t respond right away. When he did, his voice was much softer. “Because you’ll fall in love with me?”
She sucked in a breath. No!
“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re starting to fall for me and it scares you. You—”
“That’s not it.” Alarm bells jangled in her head. “I’ll admit I have a crush on you, but—”
“Same thing.”
Panic set in, elevating her heart rate, making her tremble. “It absolutely is not the same thing. A crush is a temporary infatuation. I figured out I was crushing on you when I went back to my house today and missed having you around.”
“Aha! Because you’re falling for me!”
She cleared her throat and reached for her rational teacher voice. “I understand why you’d want to believe that, but it’s not true.”
“Zeke thinks it is.”
“Zeke’s romance with Nell is coloring his judgment.”
“He said you wanted to take a break from me today because you’re scared that you’re falling in love with me.”
“Then why did I choose to stay with you tonight? If I’m so scared, I should have jumped at the chance to sleep in my own bed and gather my forces. Instead I’m out here cavorting with you.”
“Arguing with me, you mean.”
“Now I’m arguing. But earlier we were cavorting like crazy.”
“Yes, we were, damn it, and it was wonderful. Why do you suppose that is, Val?”
“Because we like each other!”
“We sure as hell do. And we have fun. We’ve kept it light and breezy, just like I promised we would. I did it, Val, and I can keep doing it. Why do you want to end such a terrific experience? What are you afraid of?”
She gulped. “I’m not afraid.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes! I’m thinking about you, about what you want out of life.”
“What if I said I don’t care about that anymore?”
“I wouldn’t believe you.”
“That’s too bad, because it’s the truth. I’m ready to stop dreaming about some future that may or may not happen. I love what’s happening in the present. And I think you’re nuts to want to give it up.”
“And I think you’re ignoring your deep-seated longing for a family.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are, Teague. I wish I had a video of your face when you proposed in June. You were positively glowing with excitement about marrying me. You couldn’t wait for the two of us to settle into your house and start a family.”
“Like I told you, I’m not the same man I was then.”
“People don’t change that fast.”
“Oh? What’s the acceptable rate, in your opinion?”
“You’re getting sarcastic, again.”
“No, really, what is the usual timeline for personal change? For all I know, I’ve set a record for accomplishing it in under three months.”
“You know what? We’re not getting anywhere with this discussion.”
“Argument.”
“Whatever it is, I vote we table it.”
“I vote we table it until we’re in bed. We’ve never had an argument in bed. I want to see what that’s like. Could be interesting.”
Doggone it. She had a weakness for his sexy talk. She had a weakness for him, full stop. “That’s a really bad idea.”
“No, it’s not. We could kiss and make up.”
It sounded lovely. Too lovely. In her present mood, she didn’t trust herself to—
“Unless you’re afraid.” Again, the words came softly.
Her heart raced. “I’m not afraid.” She grabbed a chunk of reality and leaned on it. “It’s just that tomorrow’s a big day. I need to be on my game.”
The silence filled with the soft clop-clop of the horses’ hooves.
“Okay, Val.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Teague didn’t sleep very well, mostly because Val didn’t, either. Instead of repeating the spooning that had worked like a charm the night before, she’d claimed the night was too warm for it.
Yeah, not so much. He’d left the window open about an inch and the breeze coming through it had been downright chilly. Clearly she’d had no interest in cuddling.
He’d stayed on his side of the bed while she’d moved around restlessly on hers. Eventually she’d slept, but fitfully. Muted sounds of distress had jerked him awake on a regular basis.
As he stared into the darkness while she struggled with her dreams, he had ample time to regret his words on the trail. Zeke’s comments followed by a terrific outdoor experience had made him bold. And optimistic that he’d get a different response on the timing thing.
When he hadn’t, he’d allowed frustration to take over. Always a mistake, and more so in this case. Because maybe, just maybe, Zeke was right. Her reaction could mean exactly that. But instead of calming her fears, he’d stirred them up. Way to go, Sullivan.
Eventually the sky turned pearly gray, signaling the end of the tortuous second half of the night. His fault. All his fault.
“I’ll jump in the shower if you’ll start the coffee.”
He turned his head. She lay on her side, looking at him. He rolled to face her, his chest tight with remorse. “Val, I’m so sorry. I behaved like an idiot.”
“I’m sorry, too. I should have spent the night at my house.”
“And miss the cowboy cookout?”
“I wouldn’t have known I was missing it. You only thought of it because I decided to stay.”
“But aren’t you glad you did? Even though I screwed up the ending, you discovered that camping’s super important to you. Now you can—”
“I’m grateful to you for that. I’m grateful to you for a lot of things. And I’m not being very nice to you in return.”
“What are you talking about? You agreed to this whacky idea of a fake engagement. I’m hugely in your debt for going along with an idea you initially hated.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Val, you came unglued. You yelled at me. You demanded I call my mom on the spot and tell her the truth.”
“Well, sure. Because it was a totally insane concept. I couldn’t imagine pulling it off, at least at first. But I didn’t hate the thought of getting sexually involved with you. That was exciting.”
“That’s good to know. I didn’t come up with the fake engagement just to get you back in my bed, but I’m sure that was one of the reasons why I thought of it.”
“And here I am.”
“Lucky me.”
“Not really. Because every time we make love, you get your hopes up.”
“That’s not all I get up.” He wanted a smile, just a little one. He got it. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”
“I know. You’ve done an outstanding job of that this week.”
“We’ve done an outstanding job. It’s been a joint project.”
“And Zeke is no help, planting the idea in your head that I’m falling in love with you.”
“I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I’m glad you did so I know what I’m dealing with. I can see why he’d say it and you’d want to believe it. If I fall in love with you, I’m automatically on the right path.”
“What path is that?”
“The one that leads to marriage.”
&nbs
p; “Doesn’t have to.”
“Maybe not for some people, but for you, it definitely does. You’re a dyed-in-the-wool romantic just like your mom.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
She took a deep breath. “That’s possible. But even if my assessment of you is wrong, I know myself better now, partly thanks to Ed’s question about my parents.”
“Ah.”
“I’m terrified of ending up like that.”
“I’ve reasoned that out.”
“I may never get over it.”
He let that sink in. Contradicting her wouldn’t do much good at this stage and might do harm. “Understood.”
“Even if I were falling for you, which I’m not, I’m the worst possible choice you could make.”
He wanted desperately to argue the point, but she’d likely take it as more proof that he was a hopeless romantic who believed love conquered all. Which it did.
He cleared his throat. “Assuming that you’re the worst possible choice, like you say, where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know. We have a little more than two days left.”
“And two nights.” They were almost down to the wire. He ignored the ache in his heart.
“I’m not doing you any favors by having sex with you.”
He managed a smile. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Think about it.”
“I do, all the time.”
“We have yet to have bad sex or even mediocre sex. It would be helpful if we bombed out once or twice, but—”
“You think we should try to have awful sex?”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“That makes two of us.”
“But can’t you see how this works? No wonder you keep asking to extend the time.”
“Exactly. The mystery is why you don’t agree.”
“Because it’s a dead-end street for you!”
“I don’t care. I like this street. There are trees and flowers and butterflies here. And a whole bunch of amazing—”
“Look, we’ve debated this enough. Since I’m convinced great sex inspires you to ask for more time, and we can’t seem to manage bad sex, the obvious answer is to cut out sex entirely.”
Marriage-Minded Cowboy Page 15