Ash and Caleb slowly walked back around to the front of the mansion. They had a little time off from their training, but Caleb wanted to head down to the gym and Aisline had to go to the medical suite for a follow up appointment with Doctor Phillippe.
“You can go there anytime, you know. It’s a good place to think. Quiet.”
“Thanks. I might wait until it’s not like an ice box out there, though.”
Caleb laughed. “Good thinking.”
“I can see why you think it’s a good place to think out there. Sometimes it’s good to get away from everything, even if you don’t go far.”
“From anything in particular?”
“What do you mean?” Ash asked.
“Like that Jackson guy?” Caleb glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Well, there’s something obviously going on between the two of you, or there was. I just can’t figure out what it is.”
Ash grunted softly. There was nothing going on between her and Jackson. That was the frustrating thing.
“Look,” Caleb slowed as they approached the double wooden doors to the mansion, “I know that it’s not my place, and I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes by saying this, but I like you.” When Ash looked over at him with shocked wide eyes, Caleb chuckled and put up his hands in a gesture of innocence. “As a friend, I promise.”
Ash smiled, but didn’t say anything.
“Look, I’m not here looking for anything more than friendship. It’s not something I could think about. And you are a bloodsucker, after all.”
“Hey!” Ash swiped at him again and Caleb jumped backwards laughing.
“I just know that I can’t get through this on my own.”
Ash fell serious again. “No. It’s a lonely place when you’re on your own. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“I know and I’m listening now.”
“Good. Well, I’m not looking for anything more than friendship, either.” Ash said stubbornly.
“Even Jackson?”
“Drop it, Caleb.” Aisline’s tone was as icy as the night.
“Fair enough. I don’t want to get caught up in the middle of anything, anyway. I just think it would be a good idea for someone to tell him that we’re only friends. The way he glares at me suggests he’s jealous.”
“No way.” Ash shook her head.
“Yes way. Look, you were the first person who spoke to me in this place and I know that you were the one to get Trey and the others to talk to me.”
“Well, they needed a little coaxing. You have to admit that you were making it pretty hard for anyone to approach you.” Ash grinned.
“You’re getting no arguments from me. I know I can be an ass.”
Ash laughed. “Well, now that you’re not being such an ass, the others will come around.”
It was Caleb’s turn to grunt. “Look, I’ve got to go. I promised to meet Trey.”
Aisline raised her eyebrow, “Good. I’ve got to go for my medical, so I’ll come down and find you after.
Caleb nodded and gave her a half smile as he walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It gave her a lot to think about. At least Caleb was starting to make some friends now, in a fashion at least. Yes, they were here to train to be the best killing machines that they could be, but it was a lonely place if you didn’t have someone to spend time with in a social capacity.
Unbuttoning her coat, Aisline jogged up the stairs to where Doctor Phillippe had taken over a suite of rooms and make it into a makeshift medical suite.
Things had changed a lot up there in the last few days. It was now looking more like a workable space instead of littered with numerous boxes waiting to be unpacked.
The only other person in the room was the old guy, Marshall. Ash still had no idea who he was or where he had come from, but he seemed to be becoming a permanent fixture at the academy. He seemed to spend most of his time in the medical suite, not that he was receiving any medical attention, he was just there.
“Hello, sir.” She said politely as he turned to smile at her.
“Hello, my dear. How many times do I have to remind you to call me Marshall?” he replied warmly.
Aisline grinned. “Sorry.” She liked him. He reminded her of how a grandfather should be. She’d never known her own grandparents, but this was how she imagined he would be.
“Don’t apologise. It shows that you were brought up with impeccable manners. You are a credit to you parents.”
Aisline didn’t respond. Even after her father’s slight change of heart, she knew that her parents didn’t see it that way.
“Are you here to see the good doctor?”
“I am.”
“Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll go and tell her that you’re here? Would you like anything while you’re waiting? Coffee? Water?”
“No, Marshall. Thank you for the offer, but I’m fine.”
“Very well.” He gave a courteous bow and retreated from the room to go and find Doctor Phillippe.
Aisline glanced around the room. It was clear, even in this room, that the previous owners of the mansion had elegant taste. It had taken a lot of work from the trainees, warrior and all the other employs at the academy to get this place looking somewhat liveable, but now? The place was finally getting restored to its former glory.
Take this suite for example. It was beyond anything that any private medical practice could dream of. There was a timeless elegance that seemed a little out of place for a room that was designed for medical needs, but at the same time, it was comforting. Aisline had always hated the sterile white and clinical feel of the medical suite back in the old location. As least here you could forget that you were in a place full of nasty looking needles.
“Aisline?” Doctor Phillippe poked her head out of her office doorway.
“Hey.” Ash gave her a little wave.
She wouldn’t exactly say that they were friends, but as one of the few females in the place, there was a certain kinship that couldn’t be denied.
Doctor Phillippe was a lovely woman, very competent at her job and a constant support for Aisline and the other warriors. There was a certain air to her, one that wouldn’t let you get too close and personal, reminding you that she was there to provide a professional service. Once or twice, Ash had seem past that exterior to the woman beneath and that made talking to her all the more easier.
“Why don’t you come and wait in my office? I won’t be a minute.”
Ash got up and walked through the door as the doctor beamed a shining smile at her and rushed off to attend to whatever she was doing.
Doctor Phillippe’s office was grand. That was the only way to describe it. It had a very masculine feel to the place, from the huge walnut desk that dominated much of the space, to the dark wood panelling on the walls. Luckily, the doctor had tried to soften the room up with a couple of well-placed paintings on the walls in soothing pastels and vases of brightly coloured flowers were dotted around the space randomly.
She walked over to sit down on the plush love seat that was positioned by the vast bay window, giving her a magnificent view of the grounds below. Ash could feel herself relaxing. The atmosphere was a lot let clinical and intimidating in here and just seeing the peaceful gardens helped relax her. Staring out at the landscape outside helped to forget about what today’s conversation could be about. She hated these sessions. Ash wasn’t a big talker.
“Phew!” Doctor Phillippe ran the back of her hand across her forehead dramatically. “I’m sorry about that. We’re still unpacking up here and organising everything and I seem to be falling behind on everything I need to do.”
“Not a problem.”
“Well, why don’t you come and sit down over here and we’ll have a chat.”
Ash stood up and followed the doctor over to the huge desk, sitting down in the richly upholstered chair that was placed on t
he opposite side. Even that felt like she was sitting on a cloud. They really were pulling out all the stops to get this place looking right.
Doctor Phillippe smiled warmly at her and Ash gave her a faltering smile in return. She liked the doctor, she really did. It was just this whole medical thing that she wasn’t quite so keen on. Needles she abhorred. Being poked and prodded were one of her major fears. A lot of that had happened after her little ‘incident’ with the Mortuorum and she didn’t relish it ever happening again. Sure, she knew that they were just in here for a chat, probably to assess her mental recovery, but just being near all those needles gave her the jitters.
“So,” Doctor Phillippe said as she walked around the desk to take her own seat. She glanced over at Aisline and was pleasantly surprised to see how well she was looking. The girl sure was a fighter. After all that she’d been through, it was a wonder she was even up and out of her hospital bed. But, here she as, apparently healed and already throwing herself back into training. The girl was a miracle. “How are you feeling?”
“Great, thanks.”
The doctor laughed. “Would you care to elaborate? Any lingering aches? Pain? Stress? Worry? Nightmares?”
“Nope. I’m all good.”
“Headaches?”
“No.”
Doctor Phillippe chuckled again. “Admitting pain isn’t a sign of weakness, even for a warrior.”
“I’m fine. The rest of them have been back training for weeks now. It’s only me that’s had to sit out and that was the only thing that was giving me a headache. The boredom. I’m just glad to be back in it now.”
“You had extensive injuries. The others didn’t compare.”
“I was no worse off than some of them.”
“You know that you were much worse than the others.” Doctor Phillippe frowned at her.
“Well, that’s irrelevant now, anyway. I’m back training and everything’s getting back to normal. I’m fine now.” Aisline insisted.
“I’m more concerned about the invisible scars you bear.”
“What does that mean?”
“There is no way that anyone could go through what you did and not come out the other end emotionally scarred.” Doctor Phillippe thoughtfully gnawed at the end of her pen. They’d been through this many times before but Aisline refused to talk about it. “You keep on refusing to have counselling, but you’re happy to come and talk to me. Why is that?”
“Is that why you all stopped me from training for so long? Because I wouldn’t go and see some shrink?”
“No. I just need to understand what’s going on with you, Ash. It’s my job. I took an oath to take care of each and every warrior that comes in through those doors. And you’re one of them.”
“I just don’t see the point in wasting everyone’s time with this. I deal with things in my own way and talking to some stranger isn’t going to help me do that.”
Doctor Phillippe nodded. She could actually understand that. She had come across a lot of warriors that preferred to bottle up their emotions rather than talking them through with a total stranger. Some people were comfortable with talking and others weren’t.
“Does talking to me help you at all?”
Aisline looked away for a moment. “Kind of.”
“Do you still talk to Kayleigh?”
“Yeah, when we have time. It’s not been so easy since we’ve moved over here. I’ve got training to catch up on and Kayleigh’s been so busy helping everyone out.”
“You know that she would drop everything in the blink of any eye if she thought you needed her.””
“That’s the point, though. I don’t want anyone dropping anything for me. I’ve got this. I’m dealing with it in my own way. I don’t need anyone else to do that.”
“No man is an island.” Doctor Phillippe replied cryptically.
“I have no idea what that means.” Ash grinned at her, lightening the mood.
“It means that you’re not alone in this, no matter what you think or how you want to deal with it.”
“You know what, I would rather just forget about it all and move on. Isn’t that the best thing for everyone?”
“Sometimes it’s not as easy as all that.” Doctor Phillippe decided that it was time to change track. “Have you spoken to Lana lately?”
Ash grinned again. “Yeah. You were definitely right about that. It helps a lot having her in my life.”
“Like a link to how things were for you?”
“Kind of. It’s more like an extension of how things are now. Do you know what I mean?”
The doctor nodded. “Have you spoken to her about what happened to you?”
“No.” Ash shook her head firmly. “She wouldn’t understand. There would be no point in upsetting her. She’s just glad I’m alright.”
“Lana may be able to help you. She may be stronger than you think.”
“She’s not.”
Ash was starting to feel flustered. This was why she hated talking. Sure, she’d hoped to get through this appointment without being poked and prodded with needles, but right now, a whole army of sharp, pointy needles would have been preferable to talking about her feelings. That was something she really wasn’t comfortable with.
Doctor Phillippe had used this train of thought when Aisline had first come to the academy after she’d received the warrior mark. Back then, she had used the idea more to prove to her that just because she was a warrior in training, she hadn’t changed beyond all recognition. In a way, Ash could see her reasoning now. She was trying to show her that she had several people to turn to if she needed to talk or anything. It wasn’t going to change anything, though. Ash wasn’t a talker and nothing was going to change that.
“And, what about your parents? And your sister? How are they coping with what happened to you?”
“Well, my dad’s talking to me again, so that’s a bonus, I guess.” Ash shrugged slightly.
Her father spoke to her every week or so, checking on her training progress and studiously staying away from any emotional kind of conversation. It was a bit of a family trait. Her mother was still not facing what had happened, or indeed the fact that she was training to be a warrior. The appearance of the mark had sent her into a hysteria that she had not yet fully recovered from. Of course, outward appearances to the world was still as perfect as it ever was, but she couldn’t accept this change in Aisline. Her mother did not want a warrior for a daughter. It was too bloody and violent. It wasn’t something she would ever come to be proud of.
That was where her parents seemed to differ. Her father had finally come around and embraced her warrior-hood as something to be proud of. Ash appreciated how hard he was working to make their relationship work.
Her sister was a whole other thing. Aisline had no idea what she thought of the whole situation. She was too much like their mother, hiding her head in the sand when the going got tough. She was just a kid that didn’t know any better and was following the example set by their mother. The kid wasn’t to blame. But, Aisline had too much on her plate to deal with it at the moment. They’d either come around, or they wouldn’t. She didn’t have the time or inclination to walk them through it. Aisline was just grateful that her father and Lana had provided a link, bringing a bit of her old life into her new.
“They came close to losing you. I spoke to your father the night he came into see you. He is very proud of you.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Ash blushed a little.
“You know that you shouldn’t brush it off like that so easily. I know how broken you were by the way they treated you. It’s a good thing that he is in your life.”
Aisline smiled a little. “Yeah, it is a good thing.”
“The rest will follow suit in time. It’ll just taken them a little longer to adjust to the changes in your world. If you think about it, it’s easier for you to accept it because you are the one living it. You are following your own path, and they have no say in the matter. That’s a ha
rd thing for a parent to accept. After all, you’re still their little girl and it will be difficult for them, knowing that you are out there training to lead a life of danger.”
Ash didn’t say anything. She picked up the glass of water that was on the desk in front of her, ice chinking gently on the sides as she rose it to her lips.
“Have you even spoken to your sister yet?”
“No. My mother won’t let her.”
“What do you think about that?”
Ash shrugged.
“Does your father speak about her? And your mother?
Aisline snorted. “Apparently, she’s decided to get married. How, I don’t know seeing as she is only a deluded fourteen year old.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t feel anything. She’s just a kid. She doesn’t know anything about life.”
“And you do?” Doctor Phillippe probed.
“Hell, yes I do!” Aisline’s temper suddenly shot through. “I’ve been out there. I know what it’s like. I know what we’re fighting, what we’re protecting them all from. We’re doing this so that people like my sister can live in their dream-like bubbles.” Her cheeks flushed red with anger.
“Being a warrior is very important.”
“Damn right it’s important. They haven’t got a clue what we’re doing for them. What we sacrifice for them.”
“And what are you sacrificing?”
“Everything! We’re sacrificing everything for them. She’s back at home, having childish fantasies of marrying some boy that she’s only just met, dreaming of her perfect dress and how many bridesmaids she’ll have, while we’re out there fighting and dying for them.”
“What is it that you feel you are losing personally?”
Ash took a deep breath to try and calm herself down a bit. She knew exactly what the doctor was doing. She may not be prodding her with needles, but she was prodding her with words to provoke a reaction, getting her to speak without thinking so that she’d get the truth of what she was feeling.
It wasn’t often that Aisline got riled up and let the words fly out like that, but when she did, she could rein it in again relatively quickly.
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