by DeLuca, Gia
JULIAN
GIA DeLUCA
COPYRIGHT 2014 GIA DeLUCA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher or author. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or received an advanced copy directly from the author, this book has been pirated.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or, if an actual place, are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Edited by Wyrmwood Editing
Cover design by Arijana Karcic with Cover It!
Interior formatting by Michelle Hammond
For Beth M. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Our paths crossed at the perfect time and in the most perfect way, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Gia
Beautiful Mine Series
JULIAN (#1)
JUDE (#2) (Releasing January 2015)
JAMISON (#3) (Releasing January 2015)
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JULIAN
I’d been waiting for her all my life. I just didn’t know it.
Her love breathed life into my tired bones, filling the emptiest parts of me and bringing vivid color to my black and white world. I couldn’t promise her forever. I could only promise to take care of her all of her days and hope that someday she could connect all the dots…
EVIE
I never knew what true love was until I met him.
When we were together, the rest of the world had a way of disappearing for a while. It was never my intention to fall in love with him, but loving him was the only thing that made sense in a world where nothing else did.
But certain people would do anything to keep us apart, and there were a million reasons why…
For a multi-sensory, fully immersed reading experience, I recommend listening to the following songs as you read this book:
Crinian Wood by Alexi Murdoch
Breathe Me by Sia
Sunset Soon Forgotten by Iron and Wine
Bella Donna by The Avett Brothers
Laundry Room by The Avett Brothers
Chocolate by Snow Patrol
Skinny Love by Bon Iver
Safe as Houses by The Weepies
Everywhere by Lucy Wainwright Roche
Lucky Now by Ryan Adams
Long Time Traveler by Wailin’ Jennys
Dying Day by Brandy Carlile
Just Breathe by Pearl Jam
The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
TWENTY-SEVEN
EPILOGUE
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
THANK YOU/ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
“Things are sweeter when they're lost. I know—because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly … and when I got it it turned to dust in my hand.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned
A QUICK NOTE…
I previously published a different version of this story in March 2014 as “All of My Days” under the pen name Jessa Jeffries. If you have read that story, you have pretty much read this one. I kept the storyline but changed the way the story was told, giving the hero a voice of his own. I have completely rewritten the rest of the series, which focuses on the hero’s older brothers. I did change the names of the brothers for branding purposes. For reference, Tenn, Grayer and Hayes are now Julian, Jude, and Jamison.
xoxo,
Gia
EVIE
I couldn’t afford to blink.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
My eyes fixed on the gas pump, the numbers spinning faster than I could track. A penny over ten dollars and I’d be overdrawn. Those three gallons of gas would cost me forty bucks. Forty bucks I most certainly did not have.
Blustery February wind whipped my dark hair into my face and sliced through my coat, forcing my body into uncontrollable shivers.
Warm wool, my ass.
$8.78. $9.12. $9.24. $9.41…
I lifted my foot from the puddle of melted snow I’d evidently been standing in the entire time and watched as brown-gray slush dripped from my navy kitten heel.
$10.01.
Great.
I released the trigger on the nozzle, slammed it back into the gas pump, screwed the cap back on, and climbed back into my car for a little respite from the cold. I was lucky that thing started up. I hadn’t driven it all winter. I had no job, no money, and nowhere to go.
Nine months out of nursing school, and I still hadn’t found a job, though it’d been said before that the unemployment rate in Halverford, Kansas was the highest in the state. My father liked to remind me that not even the fast food joints were hiring anymore. His obsession with the economic downturn had started right about the time he lost his job at the now-defunct appliance factory.
“Evie,” my mother had called out as she returned from church that morning. Her mouth danced as she blathered out the words that would change my life forever. “We found you a job!”
Within five nerve-rackingly short minutes, I’d arrived at the Garner-Willoughby estate on the west side of town, nestled deep within a cocoon of evergreens that seemed to kiss the sky and leafless grand oaks that had stood the test of time. Everyone in town knew where the Garner-Willoughbys lived, but very few people had ever been invited over. A turn of the century Gothic mansion, it was rumored to be complete with everything from a maid’s quarters to a ballroom to an English garden to an eight-car, underground garage. Someone had once mentioned it had twelve marble fireplaces and sixteen crystal chandeliers.
I parked my car in the circle drive, grateful to shut off the God-awful rumbling and ticking of the neglected engine. I was quite certain they’d heard me coming from a mile away. I climbed out, praying there would be no oil drips staining their pristine white driveway when I returned.
I rang their doorbell and waited patiently until an older gentleman dressed in a black suit opened the door. He looked like he was allergic to smiling. “You must be Evie. Come in.”
I stepped into the foyer as my eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness. Outside, it was two in the afternoon and the sun was trying its hardest to peek through the clouds. Inside, it was as dark as midnight.
“Wait here,” the man instructed.
Drawn curtains covered each and every window and ornate, mahogany woodwork covered every inch of the floors and walls. A small amount of light trickled in from a stained glass skylight a couple stories above, and the dampness in the air sent a quick shiver through my body.
“Evie Cawthorn?” an older woman’s voice called out, startling me from my thoughts.
The creaking of steps drew my attention to the top of a curved staircase where a lithe woman stepped out of the darkness and made he
r way toward me. As she floated into what little light filled the foyer, it reflected off the chilling beauty of her platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes.
“Arthur, she’s here,” the woman called out, her eyes locked on mine. She reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped closer, extending her right hand toward me. “I’m Caroline. I’ve heard so much about you at church. It’s very nice to meet you.”
“I’m here now,” Arthur announced, extending his hand as well. He seemed to have come out of nowhere. “I’m Arthur. Very nice meeting you, Evie.”
“We’re going to meet over here in the den,” Caroline said, lifting a thin arm and pointing toward an arched doorway. I followed them into the dark room filled with leather furniture and an overabundance of mounted, exotic game, their expressions hollow.
“Have a seat, dear,” Caroline said as she patted one of the loveseats. “So, I hear you recently graduated from nursing school. Are you a registered nurse?”
“Yes, I am. I mean, I did.” I tripped over my words. “Yes to both.”
“So, you haven’t been able to find work yet, huh?” Arthur mused. “Rough economy out there.”
“That’s what my dad keeps telling me,” I said.
“Well, I’m just going to cut to the chase here, Evie,” Caroline interjected. She clearly wasn’t one for idle chitchat or small talk. “Our beloved nurse, Eleanor, who’s been with us just a hair over twenty years, just retired.”
“I guess we paid her too well,” chuckled Arthur, one hand on his globular belly. His wrinkly, golden hazel eyes met mine as his lips spread into a reserved smile.
“We’re looking for someone who’s as compassionate and selfless and dedicated to our sweet son as Eleanor was,” Caroline said, clutching her hand across her heart. “This isn’t an easy job. Julian’s been sick his entire life. And as his mother, I can say he’s a very bitter and resentful young man.”
Caroline sat up straight and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she raised one eyebrow, as if she expected me to bolt out of there and never return.
“He’s not the easiest patient,” Arthur added.
“He can be difficult at times,” she continued. “And a bit demanding. Sometimes I don’t know whether he’s twenty-four or six.”
“I completely understand,” I assured her. “Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t blame him one bit. If given the chance to work for you, I’d not only provide him with exceptional care, but I’d also work to improve his quality of life.”
Caroline and Arthur exchanged looks as Arthur mumbled, “Good luck with that.”
“I’ve been told I have the gift of persuasion,” I said, sitting up proudly. “I can pretty much convince anyone to do anything. And I love a good challenge.”
“Evie, are you familiar with cystic fibrosis?” Caroline asked, studying my face.
“I am,” I said, recalling my pulmonary rotation during clinicals. “The key to caring for patients with CF is reducing their risk for lower respiratory tract infections. Antibiotics and daily percussion therapy are key, as well as regular physical activity and a healthy, high-protein diet.”
“Can you excuse us for one moment, please?” Caroline stood up and ran her delicate fingers along her neckline as she turned to walk out, Arthur following. They returned after a few minutes of whispering out in the hallway. “We think you’d be perfect,” she announced. “Can you start tomorrow?”
“Shouldn’t we have her meet him, first?” Arthur suggested.
“Oh, yes, what was I thinking?” Caroline said, rolling her eyes and throwing her hands in the air. “Come, come.”
She turned on her heel and made her way toward the grand staircase, her long dress flowing with each step. I followed, plunged into the dark abyss of the mansion and feeling like it could swallow me whole at any moment. As we approached the end of the upstairs hallway, Caroline rapped lightly on the door.
“Julian, sweetie, it’s your mother,” she said into the door. “I’m coming in.”
My heart raced a little as Caroline pushed open the heavy wooden door. Immediately greeted with stale air, my eyes honed in on the assortment of various pill bottles lined up along his side table next to several half-empty glasses of water and a nebulizer. Remote controls, books, and a laptop were stacked neatly beside it all.
Caroline sat on the edge of his bed and gently rubbed her son’s back. “Wake up, Julian.”
Beneath a mountain of covers, the outline of a frail man with a disheveled mop of chocolate brown hair began to stir. Caroline switched his bedside lamp on and he rolled over to face me, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light. His face was gaunt and his champagne eyes rested above dark circles.
“Come closer,” he said, his gaze honing in on mine.
I took a few steps forward as he had instructed. If he wasn’t so sickly, he might have actually been attractive.
“May I?” I asked as I looked down at the bed next to him and took a seat. “I’m Evie Cawthorn. I’m going to be your new nurse.”
“So, you’re replacing Eleanor,” he said in even monotone.
“Yes, Eleanor was very special to Julian,” Arthur said from the doorway. “But don’t be too quick to draw comparisons, son. I think you’ll really like Evie, if you give her a chance.”
“Evie is starting tomorrow,” Caroline told Julian. “We need to show her to her room.”
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know this was a live-in position.”
“Yes, it is,” Caroline said, her frozen blue eyes uncompromising. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“No, it’s fine,” I replied, knowing I didn’t really have a choice. I needed this job more than they needed me to fill it.
“We gave Eleanor the maid’s quarters, but we’re going to put you in a nice guest room next door to Julian,” Caroline said, standing up and working her way back toward the door. “Come now. I’ll show you to your room.”
“You’ll have to get used to night calls. That’s why we pay so well. Some days you work around the clock,” Arthur explained as the three of us left Julian’s room. “But you will get most weekends off.”
“Except when we’re out of town,” Caroline was quick to interject. “We travel at least once a month. We have family on both coasts.”
“And of course, Julian is unable to travel with us,” Arthur said. “So that’s why we need you here with him when we’re gone.”
“It’s not a problem,” I said, standing behind Caroline as she opened the heavy wooden door to the room next to Julian’s.
***
My mother leaned against the doorway of my room Monday morning as I packed my things.
“This is all happening so fast,” she said with a pained look on her face as she nibbled her fingernails. “I didn’t know this was going to be a live-in position. I thought you’d be home for dinner every night.”
“Mom,” I said as I rifled through my closet. “I’ll just be across town. And I’ll be home on the weekends. I’m ten minutes away. I’ll miss your cooking, but I promise I’ll be fine.”
“Do you need any more help packing?” she asked as she stepped inside and began making my bed and fluffing my flat pillows.
“No thanks,” I replied as I zipped up my suitcase. “I’m not taking much. They have a beautiful guestroom for me that’s all ready to go. I have my own bathroom and everything.”
I flashed my mom a reassuring smile and slipped my arms around her for a big hug.
“I’m happy for you. I really am,” she whispered.
“Worst case scenario,” I said, “is that I hate it and I quit and come back.”
She squeezed me with the intensity of a mother bird not wanting her baby to leave the nest quite yet. We’d gone through this a few years ago when I’d left for college. It took her a while, but eventually she adjusted.
“I’m proud of you, my sweet Evelyn Grace,” she said as she kissed my cheek. “Now, go say goodbye to your father and Alexa.”
JULIAN
I loved to sleep. Sleep was my escape. Sometimes I slept all day long, forgetting to eat or shower. My days all blended together, one into another. They were all the same. Breakfast. Bathe. Watch the T.V. or read the news. Maybe play a video game. Maybe read a book.
Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
My sickness had not only defined me—it had become me. Everything I did revolved around it. For years, my mother had ingrained my fragility into my head.
“He can’t go to school with regular kids,” she would say to my father. “What if he were to get sick? We can’t handle a sickness on top of a sickness. He’s too delicate.”
“Julian, you’d better stay home,” my father would say when they would pack their suitcases for one of their extravagant vacations. “Too many germs on airplanes. Too much walking and pollution in the big cities. Eleanor will take good care of you. We got you that new video game you’d been asking for.”
I was a pet. A responsibility. An inconvenience. They paid people to watch me, as if I couldn’t handle being alone for two seconds. Even at twenty-four, they still insisted I needed around-the-clock care.
The truth was I could do things for myself, but after years of my own parents not giving two real shits about me, it was nice being waited on hand and foot. It was nice being cared for, even if that person was being paid to do so.
A light rapping on my door pulled me out of my sweet slumber, my sweet escape. I lived my life in black and white most days, but my dreams were always in color.
I dreamt of things like traveling the world, living my life outside those four walls, venturing into the great unknown, burying my toes into real sand and smelling the breeze that drifted in off the ocean at sunset. I dreamt of climbing mountains, hiking forests filled with thousands of California Red Woods, blending in amongst the thousands of tourists in Times Square, and falling in love.