Just an Illusion, Side A: Side A

by D. Kelly

  He laughs. “Smart girl. I knew I liked you. I have to Skype Anna, and I brought the book to show her you signed it, but would you mind saying hi, too? It would make her night. I’d consider it a personal favor, and I always return favors.”

  Hmm, a rock star in my back pocket, now that can be useful for sure. But that’s not why I agree to do it. It’s romantic, and as a romance writer, this is something books are made of. I’m happy to help him woo his wife and think it’s great he still tries after all these years.

  “Of course I will, it’ll be fun.”

  Wyatt pulls out his phone to start the call. I scoot over a bit to give him what little privacy I can so he can catch up with his wife. Eventually, he gets around to the Slammed interview and tells her about Belle and myself. It’s then I hear her squeal.

  “Wait, Wyatt, back up … Did you say Amelia Greyson was with the Slammed interviewer? The O Factor Amelia Greyson?”

  Wyatt laughs. “That’s exactly what I said, babe, and she autographed my book for you, too.”

  “Shut up! Wyatt, oh my God! That is so freaking awesome. Why am I not with you tonight? I could kick myself.”

  “Well, I thought you might feel that way, so …” He motions for me to scoot closer now, which I happily do.

  “Babe, meet Amelia. Amelia, this is my beautiful wife Anna.”

  “Hi, Anna! It’s so nice to meet you. Wyatt said you enjoyed my book. I’m flattered. Thank you for reading it.”

  “Me? You’re thanking me? Good God, girl, you’re amazing! That book is amazing! The things I realized we were missing out on or could be … umm … enhancing … Well, let’s just say I’ve been enlightened.”

  We chatted a few more minutes before saying our goodbyes. As Wyatt ended the call, her parting words were, “You’re so getting laid the second you walk in the door.”

  I only got to observe them for a few moments, but that’s all I needed to see how in love they are. I’ve also been discretely watching Belle and Darren. There’s some serious sexual chemistry brewing between the two of them. They’ve had their heads together, whispering back and forth, since we left the venue. This is going to be an interesting night.

  To Tour Or Not To Tour

  Their house is beautiful. It’s up on a bluff in Malibu, overlooking the ocean. When I exit the car, I inhale deeply, letting the salty Pacific Ocean air fill my senses. I should really take more time to come out this way. It’s not too far from my apartment in Encino, and if I could find a place to write, I’m sure I would be inspired.

  Once we’re inside, I’m slightly disappointed; it’s fairly lacking in here. Don’t get me wrong, it’s gorgeous, but almost … I don’t know … Perhaps, medicinal feeling? The walls are all white; the furniture, again, all white. At least the kitchen is filled with all stainless steel appliances and dark granite, which gives it some contrast. Darren and Wyatt give us a tour, and I’m relieved to find the rest of the house has more personality than the entrance and living area. It looks like everyone has decorated their own bedrooms, but no one has done anything with the common area. It’s a shame; it could be beautiful.

  “Do you all live here?” I ask Wyatt.

  “Sometimes. This is our inspiration house. We come here when we’re writing or recording. We have a full studio downstairs instead of a garage. It’s been used a lot lately. Our album is supposed to drop in a few weeks, but Sawyer is still working on the title track. So we’re all here for the weekend between venues, trying to inspire him and finish it up. Officially, it’s Sawyer and Noah’s house. We each have a room because we’re here a lot and it’s not like there’s a lack of space. Anna and I actually live in San Diego, and Darren lives in a house up on Mulholland Drive.”

  “Why do you live so far away from the rest of the band?”

  “It’s only temporary. Anna’s job sent her there for a two-year project. She’s helping launch a sub-division of SOS Publishing and has already been in San Diego for a year. If it goes well, she’ll be finished and back in the Los Angeles office late next year.”

  The O Factor is self-published, and SOS was the first publishing house I sent it to for consideration. I sent it to them a year before I published it myself. It’s been about sixteen months, and I’m glad I didn’t wait for a response; the book is doing very well on its own.

  “That’s a fantastic opportunity for her. You must be so proud.”

  Wyatt flashes me that adorable smile of his. “I am, but I worry about her being down there alone, not knowing many people. Anna’s a strong, determined woman. Ultimately, I know she can take care of herself, but I’m grateful Sam, he’s Warren’s husband, is there with her. They keep each other out of trouble.” He winks at me and leads the way back into the living area since Belle and Darren seem to have taken a temporary pit stop in his room. I see a date with a rock star in her future.

  Warren, Sawyer, and Noah enter through the garage, talking excitedly. I notice even Sawyer is wearing a smile, but I have a feeling it’s a rarity for him. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I can tell Sawyer is guarded. I can spot a fellow wall builder a mile away, and his are up so high I’m not sure a bulldozer could even knock them down. It took me five years of therapy to try to bring mine down, but I still have my moments.

  “Excuse me, Amelia, I’m going to go get Belle and Darren before they get a lecture from Warren. He’s got his business hat on tonight, and I don’t want him getting pissed off at Darren.” With a slight nod, I take the opportunity to admire the view from their floor-to-ceiling windows. The moon is full tonight, and its reflection illuminates the ocean below. It’s breathtaking.

  “Princess Amelia,” Sawyer greets me as he creeps in on my personal space.

  “Asshat,” I toss back, countering his annoying greeting with one of my own.

  The laughter rolling out of Sawyer is surprising, but not as surprising as the heated look he’s giving me when I finally turn to acknowledge him. We’re the only two in here, and the sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

  “You know, Princess, not too many people speak their minds to me. I haven’t decided if it makes me want to take you over my knee and spank you for your disobedience, or if it makes me want to fuck you until you submit to me. Or both.”

  My breath escapes me, but my lady bits know who’s boss here and they’re hot, wet, and wishing for all of the above. I’d give anything to pull his lip ring into my mouth right now, tug it lightly with my teeth, and tease it with my tongue. I’m so turned on and he hasn’t even touched me.

  “Sounds like you’ve been reading my book, and yet I know you haven’t, or you definitely wouldn’t be calling me Princess.”

  A sinfully sexy smile spreads across his face, and I know I’ll never see a smile again that makes me feel the way his does. I want him as much as I want my next breath, but I know getting involved with Sawyer is not only next to impossible, it’s extremely dangerous for my health. Bastards and Dangerous suddenly takes on a whole new meaning.

  Thankfully, we’re interrupted by everyone else on their way to the dining room. Sawyer winks as he passes by me, letting his fingers graze mine as he goes. His touch is searing, and a warning goes off in my head. Messing with Sawyer is like playing with fire—in the end, you’ll always get burned.

  “Amelia, come and sit by me.” Noah flashes me a smile, which is similar to Sawyer’s, except his is friendly and sweet. There’s no sin pouring from his lips. I’m relieved I’ll be sandwiched between him and Belle and nowhere near Sawyer’s heat.

  Someone has already plated the food. It looks and smells amazing. Lasagna, salad, and garlic bread—it’s even still hot. As I blow gently on my fork, Sawyer stares at me with a hooded gaze. I savor the flavors. The food is incredible; their housekeeper cooks as well as my grandmother used to. Sawyer licks his lips—never breaking eye contact with me, nor I with him—and he finally takes a bite. Thankfully, the conversation begins and I have a legit
imate reason to turn away from him.

  “So, Belle, I know we haven’t talked many details yet, but from what you’ve heard so far, will Slammed be up for what we’re offering?” Warren asks.

  “Absolutely, and I’m going to do this assignment personally. I’ll add a few reporters to work under me if needed, but I don’t want anyone messing this up. I’m honored you researched our reputation and picked us. It will be my sincere pleasure to cover this story and follow the tour for the magazine.”

  Warren nods his head, obviously pleased. “That’s wonderful news. I was hoping it would be you. I’ve read some of your work, and it’s very good. We’ll be in touch on Monday to work out all of the official details. I’ll also email you the photos from the wedding and the general information we want in next week’s issue. We’ll get you some exclusive interviews later down the line.”

  Belle is blushing but readily agrees. She’s smiling so big you’d think she won the lottery. She may as well have; working one-on-one with BAD for a year is a music journalist’s equivalent to winning a Grammy.

  “Now, Amelia,” Warren says, turning his attention to me. “The band and I would like to extend an offer to you as well. It’s a bit unconventional, but we’re hoping you’ll be receptive to it.”

  I’m intrigued and nod for him to continue. Glancing around the table, all the guys seem excited.

  “Your being here tonight was extremely favorable for us. We’ve been looking for an author who might be interested in touring with us this last year.”

  Holy …

  “It’s been a difficult search because most of the authors we’ve considered have been fans of the band. Normally, it isn’t a bad thing for the interviewer to be a fan when they’re creating an article. But to actually share living quarters and tour with the band in hotels, on planes, and on the buses, it can present a problem. We don’t want the person glorifying the book from a fan’s point of view.”

  The guys are all nodding, and Belle looks as if she’s about to fall off her chair. That makes two of us because I’m about to pass out.

  Stay calm, Amelia.

  You don’t have to say yes.

  “You are the first person we’ve met who is not only not a fan, but you have no issue putting Sawyer in his place. I’ll be frank, that was a big concern of ours. Sawyer can be a little rough around the edges.”

  “No, I’m a lot fucking rough around the edges,” Sawyer confirms with a smirk.

  “Case and point.” Warren counters, nailing him with a steely glare before turning back to me. “I know you’re just launching your own career and trying to get your book published. I also happen to know SOS publishing has been preparing a proposal for you, in hopes you’ll sign with them.”

  What the … How does he even know that?

  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. I haven’t heard anything from SOS.” My heart is running sprints in my chest. Could this actually be for real?

  Warren smiles warmly at me. “Amelia, my husband is Sam Owen Stevensen. He is SOS publishing, and when he personally read your book last month, he put the wheels in motion.”

  Anna is in San Diego with Warren’s husband Sam. Wyatt’s words come flying back to me.

  “What exactly are you looking for this book to portray?” I’m barely able to choke out the words.

  “Well, we’d like the author to put their own unique spin on it, but we also want it to be an insider’s view of all things BAD. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We want the fans to understand how exhilarating it is to be on tour but also how time consuming. We’d like to show how sweet and how aggressive the fans can be and how overwhelming it all is at times. Most of all, we want them to get to know us. You’ll be allowed candid shots, a basic point and shoot camera, nothing fancy. You’ll have an all-access pass into everything they do. By extension, you’ll be the fifth member of the band. Where they go, you go.”

  “Sixth member, Warren, you always leave yourself out,” Noah corrects firmly.

  This could be the biggest career opportunity I ever get, but one major fact remains. “I’m not an autobiographer, I write fiction. I’m not sure if I’m the right choice for you.”

  “Amelia, you self-published the number one book on the New York Times bestsellers list. Do you know how rare that is? I’ve got a feeling you can do anything you set your mind to. SOS has agreed to use this tour as an opportunity to promote you as their newest author, if you’re up for it. Instead of sending you on a standard book tour, they’re going to set you up with signing opportunities in select cities.”

  “Wait … They want me to do a book tour?” This is beyond my wildest expectations.

  “Of course they do, and we’ll work the schedule around rehearsals or down time for the guys so you’re not missing too much of what we want documented in the book. The contract details between you and SOS are between you and them for your books. They’ve already signed on to publish the BAD story, so I would assume that would be an extension of said contract.

  Two publishing deals, one for me the romance author and one for me the BAD autobiographer.

  “You’ll be independently contracted to BAD for this tour, and we’ll be covering all of your travel and food expenses. You’ll share royalties on the book and earn two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for giving up your life for a year. There will be no days off unless it’s an emergency, but since you’re mostly an observer, you’ll have tons of time to yourself. You’ll be on their schedule. When they have downtime for holidays and vacations, that’ll be your prime opportunity to really see into their lives.”

  My head is spinning. I’m terrified to take this offer, but I’m also ecstatic they chose to extend it to me. Who in their right mind would turn this down? Could I give up my life for a year for this? I’m not sure I’m strong enough yet to jump back in with the demons.

  Maybe, just maybe, they don’t have those demons.

  Belle is beaming with pride. I know she’s happy for both of us, and if I turn this down she may never speak to me again. “I don’t know what to say. How long do I have to give you an answer?” I ask, clutching my napkin for dear life under the table. Belle’s jaw drops, along with Darren’s and Wyatt’s. Sawyer looks perplexed. Noah reaches out and grabs my free hand.

  “Warren, Sawyer, and I were working out the details in the car on the way over here. Unfortunately, Amelia, you don’t have long to decide. We leave day after tomorrow. We need someone who can start in four weeks, and by the time we get the paperwork going and finalized, that’s about how long it’s going to take. We have two other authors to choose from, but you were our only unanimous choice.” Noah brushes his thumb across mine, and it’s comforting. More comforting than it should be. These brothers sure do exude sexual pheromones. Could I be in close quarters with them for that long and have a platonic relationship with them?

  I’d have to.

  I swallow over the lump in my throat as the butterflies take flight in my stomach. Could I do this? I would be living the dream again, but that dream was my nightmare—the cause of my sadness and the road to my eventual heartbreak. But BAD is living the dream. They aren’t flailing after falling from grace into the abyss of rock stars past. It might be a way for me to let those demons go. Exorcise the bad by doing something good.

  “I need to think about it for a while. Do you have beach access here?”

  “Sure, I’ll show you to the backyard. There’s a staircase leading down to the beach from there. Let me just grab a flashlight.”

  Everyone is quiet while Warren is gone. I’m sure they’re shocked I’m not jumping on this. Only Belle knows why, but she won’t tell. What’s in the vault stays vaulted.

  Warren returns with a flashlight and a smile. “Come on, I’ll show you the way.”

  We’re both quiet as he lights the path in front of us.

  “Amelia, I don’t want to pressure you, and I’m sorry you don’t have much time to make this decisio
n, but I think this can be a really good thing for us all.” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, obviously needing to say more.

  “Sawyer and Noah started this band when they were just kids. Sawyer’s had some bad experiences with women, and he’s closed himself off. Tonight, for the first time in years, he showed genuine emotion toward a woman. I think you can help him, Amelia. I’m not sure how but I just have a hunch. Please give it some serious thought. You’re a writer, and the best thing about being a writer is you can do it from anywhere. Hell, I’ll even throw in movers and a packing crew if it helps.”

  After he pleads his case, he passes me the flashlight, pats me on the shoulder, and goes back inside. Taking my time descending the stairs, I finally come to a plateau at the bottom and take a walking trail down to the sand. Guess they want to make sure people don’t realize they have access to the house. But then again, this is probably a private beach.

  It’s a beautiful night out, but it’s cold. I’m glad I wore a sweater, but even that isn’t helping much against the chill. Just when I decide to go back inside, Belle plops down into the sand next to me and wraps a blanket around us.

  “This place is amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it really is,” I reply.

  “Talk to me, Mel. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m wondering if five years of therapy battling my demons has made me strong enough to do this and come out unscathed. I’m thinking I would be a fool to take this job, and I’d be a bigger fool not to.”

  “Oh, sweetie, don’t let this be about him and the past. Let this be about you and what an amazing opportunity this would be. You’ve always wanted to start traveling again, and this is your chance. People would kill for this job, and while I understand it would mean immersing yourself into a musical world you’ve fought hard to get away from, it’s going to be a whole different side than you’ve ever seen before. One that doesn’t include demons and self-destruction.”